I didn’t like the look on Parker’s face. At first, it had been angry, nothing new there, but then he switched it up, and I caught the confused, lost expression. I’d read it all in his eyes and pinched brows. Then when he added in the please, I knew I had to help him out. As soon as he’d left, I finished drying and quickly dressed, then locked the dog door so the dogs couldn’t run amuck in the house while I wasn’t there.

It was strange to find Lan’s front door unlocked when I entered. I thought at least Parker would have locked it, so why hadn’t he? What happened that caused him to rush off like his boxers were on fire? Especially since he’d not long been there. Not that I took notice of who was over at Lan’s and for how long. I didn’t. I just happened to see Parker arrive as I was passing the living room window.

After closing and locking the door, I went down the hall to check on Lan. He was lying back asleep. My brows dipped. Maybe Parker had a call from someone and something had happened to someone he knew.

No matter what, I didn’t mind being there. At least Lan was asleep, and I didn’t have to deal with… well, him.

Earlier, when they’d been at my house, and Lan delivered that last shock, Oliver had to drag me back inside because my body wouldn’t move. It was stuck in a state of awe.

My mind still felt blown away by how he’d told everyone, and one being his cousin, we’d dated. Lan Davis admitted it in front of people he knew that we’d been a couple. People who were close to him.

He blurted those words out like they were nothing.

However, I could tell from the expression of surprise that crossed their features they knew nothing about Lan’s past with men.

Never had I thought my heart could glue a piece back on itself, but hearing him say it felt like I’d gained some of my organ back from when he’d crushed it ten years ago. Although, my walls were still up. The darn devil man couldn’t make me feel things for him again.

He couldn’t.

He didn’t.

Screw me up the nose, he had.

It was Lan Davis after all.

Making my way back out into the living room, I thought of Oliver’s reaction. If he had anything to do with it, I’d be naked and already in Lan’s bed. I was stronger than that, and with Chris’s help, we’d made Oliver see reason as to why nothing had changed between Lan and me, no matter what he’d confessed in front of his friends.

Of course, it didn’t stop them from making a bet on when I would end up sucking face—Oliver’s words not mine—with Lan.

I sighed and flopped back on the couch. A sudden, strong scent of Parker wafted up and slapped me in the face. He must have been sleeping on the couch; only there were no blankets in sight. Had they not switched out the bloodstained mattress yet?

For an angry, annoying guy, he sure did smell delicious. It matched his chiselled, rough, sexy do-not-mess-with-me look.

Parker whatever-his-last-name-was confused me like no other person had. Maybe it was just me he didn’t like, and he definitely showed it, yet I saw a different side to him with those Hawks bikers and even Lan. He didn’t seem to care about the past Lan and I had. Yet, I still thought he didn’t like me.

Leaning forward, I grabbed the remote off the coffee table and turned on the TV. Absently, I flicked through the channels, yet nothing really caught my attention.

I paused my flicking. Had Parker actually meant I was to stay here all night? At Lan’s? Was he coming back at all? Dang it. I should have asked more questions and thought to grab extra things in case I was sleeping over. I guessed boxers would be good enough. I’d just have to find the sheets Parker had used…. Yeah, maybe not. A clean set of sheets would be better. Knowing the way my mind worked, if I smelled Parker all night, I would probably end up having a wet dream starring him, and that just wouldn’t do. No matter how good-looking he was.

It was hours later when I heard loud cursing coming from down the hall. I quickly stood and made my way there. Stepping straight into the room, I found Lan sitting and pounding his fists on the bed.

“What did it ever do to you?” I asked.

He jolted and spun his gaze my way. “What are you doin’ here?” His tone was curt, but I put it down to being surprised by my presence.

“You’ve got me here tonight. Parker had to step out,” I said and then watched him pale.

That wasn’t good.

“What happened?” I asked, shifting closer to the bed.

“Nothin’.” He moved to flip back his sheet but winced.

I nodded to the medication. “Is it time for those? Parker didn’t tell me when you had them last.”

“No,” he bit out, and then I saw him grind his teeth together.

I dipped my brows in confusion. “No what? It’s not time, or you’re not taking them?”

I stepped back when he slowly, using one arm, slid closer to the edge of the bed and then put his feet on the floor. “I don’t need them,” he stated.

“Lan, you don’t need to be some macho—”

He stood and wobbled a little. “East, don’t, please. I don’t want or need them. I’ll be fine.”

“Said the guy who just winced like he tasted shit. Wait, you must have because I certainly smell bullshit.”

He snorted. “Maybe you need to go back to being the shy Easton.”

Thinning my lips, I reached up and flicked him in the ear. He cursed, and then I told him, “That Easton was too much of a pushover. This Easton isn’t.”

He studied me, a small soft smile playing on his lips. “I like both versions.” My pulse raced when his hand circled my wrist, only to run his fingers up my arm. “I especially like the tattoos.”

“Lan,” I whispered.

“East,” he said back just as quietly as his fingers slid to the back of my neck.

“What are you doing?”

His jaw clenched. He closed his eyes for a second and then he opened them. The warmth they’d held had disappeared. He dropped his hand and shook his head. “Nothin’.”

Something was going on with him.

“What happened with you and Parker?”

“Do you know where my phone is?”

“Lan, you can talk to me.”

He glanced away and then back. “I can’t. If I do, I’ll risk…. I’m a fuckin’ idiot.”

I rolled my eyes. “Tell me something I don’t know.”

He sat down on the edge of the bed and put his head in his hands. Only he didn’t stay that way long. Straightening to sit, he looked up at me. He took my hand, my heart beating crazily as he pulled me closer, even between his legs.

“I messed things up between us so—”

“We don’t need to talk about this—”

“I do. We do because I want to hope there could be something again between us.” My eyes widened. He added, “Do I have the right to hope for that, East?”

“You don’t know me now.”

“I want to.”

“How do I know…?” Where in the holy Jesus had my resistance gone? Some mushy words and I was already thinking about throwing myself at him. Well, not fully. I don’t think.

“I can’t promise I won’t hurt you because what I have to say next could do that, but I’ll still tell you. I’m messed up in the head, East.”

I shook my head. “You’re confusing me.”

He snorted. “I’m confused myself.”

“Are you sure you’re not still high?”

He took my other hand in his and gazed at our hands. “I’m not,” he whispered. “I shouldn’t be asking you for anything. I don’t have a right.”

I licked my dry lips. “I can’t promise anything either.”

“I know.” He nodded. “Can we just… see? Get to know each other?”

My throat was thick with emotion. I was nervous, scared, and yet so darn happy he was confessing to wanting something again with me. Still, fear outweighed it all and caused the hairs on my arms to rise. “What about, um, other people?”

He stood and leaned in to make sure he held my gaze with his. “I wouldn’t give a fuck if the Queen knew you were mine. I wouldn’t hide you, us. Never again.”

My chest rose and fell rapidly with every breath I took as I stared up at him. “What…” I cleared my throat. “What about women?” I shook my head quickly and stepped back. His hands dropped from mine. “Don’t answer that. We’re not even there. I don’t know what I can give when….” I looked to the floor and shook my head.

“When I hurt you in the first place,” he supplied, and I caught his hands clench. “I’ll earn your trust. I’ll earn it, and I’ll start now because this could—fuck, it could screw everything up already.”

“What?” I asked.

He sighed, glanced at the ceiling and back to me. “I wasn’t myself, but I was. I mean, I didn’t know I’d do it and now I have I don’t know what to fuckin’ do.”

I grabbed his wrist and slid my hand into his. “Lan, just tell me.”

“Fuck.” He screwed his eyes shut. “I woke up completely drugged up to Parker here and kissed him.” When I didn’t say anything, mainly because I couldn’t since I was shocked to the core, he opened his eyes and looked at me, searching my face for an answer. I knew I wouldn’t be showing anything on my face. I was blank. He tugged my hand in his. “East?”

Lan kissed Parker.

Parker. The most heterosexual guy I’d ever met.

Should I have been angry? Most would have been, especially after Lan talked a good talk about being with me and he’d already kissed Parker.

Parker I-wish-I-knew-his-last-name.

Really, I couldn’t blame Lan. He had been high, and Parker, even though he was a butthead, was good-looking.

My lips twitched.

Lan kissed Parker. Who he worked with.

Lan’s brows dipped. “East?”

My lips twitched again. I couldn’t stop it. I cleared my throat and tried for, “What, ah, did he do?” Then I dropped my hands to my thighs and laughed heartily. “Oh, shit. You kissed Parker.” I straightened and held a hand across my stomach; it ached. “Did he punch you?”

Then I sobered as the image of Lan in bed with Parker kissing popped into my mind.

I gulped.

That—I cleared my throat again—thought wasn’t a bad one per se.

My stomach flipped.

Once more, for good measure, I cleared my throat. “Um, what did he do?”

Lan’s eyes penetrated my mind, and I was sure he knew I’d been thinking about it. A smirk lifted his lips. He shook his head. “I’ve worked with him for a long time.” I nodded. He went on, “He’s nice-lookin’.” I snorted, and he glared. “Okay, he’s better than nice. Some type of feelin’ was bound to happen.” He ran his top teeth over his bottom lip. “But I didn’t mean to kiss him.”

I knew he wouldn’t have. He knew, as well as I did, Parker didn’t cross over his way or mine. Meaning he wasn’t bi or gay. It would have been a big shock to them both.

“I’m surprised you still have a face.”

He snorted. “So am I. Instead, he yelled and then left.”

“No wonder he looked out of sorts when he came over,” I mumbled to myself.

“Christ,” he clipped, and started pacing with a slight limp. “What the hell am I supposed to do now? He’s probably off throwing darts at my damn face somewhere. He’s gonna hate me. Fuckin’ hate me. Then…” He stopped to face me. “Then all I can think about is you, and I want to see if there could be something with us, but….”

“You’re still attracted to Parker.”

He dropped his head and nodded. “I’m a motherfuckin’ arsehole.”

“You’re not.” I sighed and ran a hand over the back of my neck. “Parker and you work closely together, and you do it in tough situations. I can understand your feelings.” I nodded. “Oliver and I used to date and we work together.” His eyes darkened. I waved a hand absently. “We’re only friends now, and he’s in love with Chris. What I’m saying is, I understand it. Besides, Parker’s, um, you know, good-looking.”

Lan’s feet ate up the carpet to stop in front of me. “It doesn’t matter if Parker is or not. Yes, I’m scared I just fucked up Parker and me as mates. But I worry more you’ll walk out of this house and want nothing to do with me.” His hands landed on my waist. Nerves twisted my stomach into knots. Still, I managed to lift my shaky hand to his forearms. Lan sighed. “I’ve never regretted something in my life more than letting you walk away from my place that night. Fuck, it eats at me still. Not a day goes by that I don’t wish I could change it. I wished I’d stopped you and then come to your place sooner so you never left town.” His eyes flicked down to my lips, but I wasn’t ready for that. I wasn’t ready to believe completely. Lan must have sensed it also because his gaze met with mine once more. I got a small, soft, yet sad smile, and he stepped back. “Maybe with time you’ll learn you can trust me to never be so damn stupid again.”

“I… ah….” I didn’t know what to say. I wanted to trust, but that burn from years ago still lived inside of me. I nodded. His smile lifted a little from that nod. Needing to change the subject, I blurted, “You should call Parker.”

His head jerked back a little. “What?”

What?

Why did I go for that? I could have said you should sit, eat, or anything else.

“Ah, I mean, you’re worried, right? So you should call him. I mean, that’s what you were going to do before, yeah?”

“Yeah.” He nodded. I ignored his grin, aware he knew I was playing at changing the subject as I started for the door.

Over my shoulder, I said, “I’ll grab your phone.” I needed to distance myself because all I could think about was forgiving him, trusting him, and jumping him.

I was screwed.

Only it wasn’t in a sexual way.

Though, it could lead down the track in a sexual way.

Dickwizzle idiot. I had to steer away from any type of sexual thoughts.

Especially thoughts about Lan kissing Parker because back there in the bedroom, that image I’d conjured had shot pleasure straight to my cock. Which was dangerous. Lan alone was enough to get me so darn hard, but I was sure that thought of the two of them could cause me to come in seconds.

I groaned, picked up Lan’s phone I’d seen earlier, and made my way back down the hall thinking of everything but sexual thoughts.

I shouldn’t even have been thinking of sex, coming, kissing, both men… I was a knobjockey, my dick already at half-mast. What I needed to get through my thick head, on my shoulders, not the other end, was that none of those thoughts were appropriate since Lan was in a deadly situation still, and healing.

Well, unless I was alone in my own bed at night. It was different then.