My heart beat so fast it felt as if it wanted to crawl up my throat and out of my body. I’d fucked up and knew I had, yet I’d walked out of the compound like a fucking coward. I was a dick. An idiot.

It was great to hear Lan understood. I had freaked over him touching me, wondering if they’d notice how it felt, like it was more than just a normal touch because I’d been with him the night before.

It was goddamn foolish to think it in the first place, but my head liked to mess with me.

As soon as I’d got outside, I wanted to turn myself around and go back in. I didn’t because it would have made me look like an even bigger idiot. I wasn’t ready for any type of display of affection from Lan or Easton in front of people. Fuck, I was still figuring myself out. Us out. If we’d all work. There’d be a big chance they’d get sick of me and then get rid of me.

I’d never had a relationship. I didn’t have a fucking clue what it involved to be in one. But I still wanted to try.

The thought of walking away from them both clogged my throat and chest.

I had to see where it would go.

I deserved something good in life, right?

At least I thought I did.

I wanted to try for something good. Lan and Easton made me want to try. I just had to get past the other issues that’d come and go with being with two guys.

When I’d left the compound, I’d driven to my brother’s grave, searching for answers. I didn’t get any, but I did figure out walking away from them didn’t sit well inside me.

I tried picturing just being around them as I’d been with Lan before anything happened, and I didn’t like what I saw. I wanted to reach out to them, run a hand over them, even kiss them if I wanted to. But for now, it had to be in private. We had to give this, us, a chance before anyone else knew. We had to see if it’d work first.

Then maybe others could know it wasn’t only Easton and Lan in the relationship, but me as well.

Only the thought of that sent my heart fucking spinning in my chest.

Why did it freak me?

I knew the people around me would accept it. Hell, they were fine with Josie, Pick, and Billy. So what if it was different for me because it was two guys instead.

Shit. This leap scared the fuck out of me still, but I wouldn’t stand down. I wouldn’t walk away. I had to keep reminding myself I was meant, and fucking allowed, to have a good life. A happy one.

Happiness for me was Lan and Easton.

I couldn’t look past them and search for anything else. My head and body had been consumed with them for a long time. No one else had captured and kept my attention like this before.

“What I’m gettin’ at is that I know why you reacted that way. It’s all good, but it’s gettin’ late, and I’m about to hit the bed. You’d better head off,” Lan finished with.

He was giving me an out. Did he want me to walk out and forget everything? Didn’t he know I couldn’t? I just needed time to deal, time to learn, time to adjust, but I didn’t want to do any of that away from them.

Shaking my head, I glanced down at the counter in front of me.

He’d expect me to walk out, run away from this. But I wouldn’t.

Sucking in a deep breath, I lifted my head. “It freaked me out because when you touched me, all I could think about was being inside you. I had to walk, get away, worried they’d see me get hard.” I shook my head and started around the counter, stopping to lean against the counter beside him. “I just need time to get used to it all. You gonna give me that time without gettin’ pissed at me if I react in a way that could hurt you?”

His eyes flashed wide before he blanked his surprise over me not going anywhere. Instead, he said, “I wasn’t hurt.”

“Bullshit,” I clipped. “I saw your face, the flash of hurt. I didn’t mean for that to happen. It was an unexpected reaction for me as well.”

He sighed. “I know.”

“So?” I asked harshly.

“So what?”

I growled under my breath, faced his way and bit out, “Time, you willin’ to give it?”

He dropped his head, his eyes to his feet. That action had me worried. Maybe he didn’t want my hassle already. He couldn’t be bothered putting up with me adjusting to something I didn’t have a clue about because he already had Easton. He was already happy with one man.

He tilted his head my way and asked, “You sure you want to try with us?”

Fuck. He thought I wasn’t sure.

He was wrong. I was sure about them.

Moving quickly, I stepped in front of him, and his head came up. I placed a hand to the side of his neck and one to his waist. “Yes,” I clipped. “I want to try. Don’t question that. I just need patience in it all. I’ve never done any of this stuff before.”

His pulse raced under my finger at his neck. “I could do patience,” he said quietly.

Jesus.

My cock throbbed, my heart lurched, and I goddamn had to have his mouth to show him I loved his answer. My hands shook with nerves, but I could do it. Smiling, I leaned in, and tested it, touched my lips to his once, twice, all while we kept each other’s eyes.

Resting against him, from chest to groin, a groin I felt thicken against my already hard dick—shocking me how his body reacted to me and turned me on—I said, “If I ever fuck up, pull me up on it.”

He smirked. “I will.”

“You gonna kiss me now?” I asked.

“No.”

“No?” I parroted and frowned. “Fine then,” I said and then tightened my grip on his neck and waist before I took his mouth with mine. It wasn’t gentle, and when he opened his mouth under mine, it was wet and fucking perfect as our tongues played with tasting and taunting.

When my nerves flew out the window, I ran my hand from his waist lower to his arse and forced him against me so our groins rubbed. He groaned into my mouth, and I ate it down before responding with a growl.

Christ, he made me hard, made me needy with desire.

All from a kiss.

Fuck, that wasn’t true. It was from a look, a thought, and I was ready to go for him, and for Easton.

Lan pulled back and we both breathed heavily. He cursed, “Fuck.”

“What?” I asked.

He laughed. “You’re Parker.”

I smiled. “Last time I checked, yeah.”

He shook his head. “No. You’re Parker.” His hands tightened on my hips. “You’re the man I’ve been checking out secretly for years. Now you’re in my arms.” His smile widened. “I just had my tongue in your mouth.”

I snorted, leaned in, and whispered in his ear, “I also had my dick in your arse last night, and I liked it. I liked kissin’ you while Easton sucked me off. I liked watching you fuck Easton and then him fuckin’ you.”

He shuddered and groaned low. “You’re driving me fuckin’ crazy.”

I straightened, grinning, and enjoying the fact I drove him crazy with lust in the first place. It gave me confidence. “Does that mean we can fool around in bed before we crash?”

Lan’s eyes rounded, his mouth dropped open, and I started laughing.

Only it stopped when Lan pushed me back. I moved and watched him walk to the back door and lock it. He went into the living room and checked the front door, which I already knew was locked because I’d tried it when I’d first arrived. Then he stalked back to me, took my hand, and dragged me out of the room. Chuckling, I said, “I’m takin’ that as a yes.” Then my gut burst to life in nerves and excitement.

Lan’s reply was a grunt, making me smile.

“Do you think Easton will mind?” I queried when we entered the bedroom.

Lan pulled his phone out and pressed something. He put it on speakerphone, and the ring filled the space. I yanked my hand out of his, and yelled, “What the fuck? You can’t ring him at work.” I dove at him, trying to grab it. He dodged, but I managed to knock him to the bed. He landed on his back, and I slid up his body, still trying to wrestle it from his hands.

“Fuck, your shoulder,” I barked and started to gentle my movements.

He mumbled. “It’s good, nothing but a twinge every now and then.”

“Good,” I stated, and reworked my struggle to grab the phone, all while having a smile on my mouth and a lightness in my chest.

“Hey, hello? Sorry, I left my phone in the ride… Lan?”

I shoved Lan’s head into the bed so he didn’t say shit. He still managed a muffled laugh. When his elbow connected to my ribs, I cursed, dropped sideways and lost my grip on the back of his head.

“Hey, babe,” Lan called, his voice holding humour.

“What’s going on?” Easton asked suspiciously.

I smacked Lan in the back of the head. He cried, “Ow, fucker, that hurt.”

“It was supposed to,” I clipped.

“Parker?” Easton called.

“East, where’s Ollie?” Lan asked.

“Still inside the diner. He went to the bathroom, why?”

“Nothin’,” I called and went for the phone again. Lan must have been expecting it because somehow, he was up, diving at me and then straddling my waist. He held the phone up high and used his other to stop me from trying for it.

“We have a question,” Lan said.

“No, we don’t,” I yelled.

We heard Easton chuckle. “What’s the question?”

“Nothin’,” I shouted and went for a different distraction tactic, slipping my hands under his tee. His heated eyes dropped down to me.

He smirked. “That ain’t gonna work, but keep trying.” I glared, and he chuckled. “East, the question is, do you mind if Parker and I fool around?”

Shock stilled my hands on his sides. He just blurted that shit out like it was a natural thing to say, to ask. Easton was Lan’s first man, and he was asking him if he minded Lan and I fooling around without him.

“Fool around how?” Easton queried, his voice took on a huskier tone.

Holy crap, was he getting turned on?

Lan rocked against me, and I realised my growing dick was positioned right under his arse. He grinned when I grew harder and rocked against me once more.

“You know, a kiss, a suck and then see where it leads.”

“This is not fair,” Easton complained.

“See,” I mouthed at Lan.

He shook his head. “What’s not fair, babe?”

“Being stuck working while I can’t watch you two.”

Wait… what? Easton would be okay with this?

Lan raised his brows at me. “How about Park and I get each other off with our hands and mouths and save the fuckin’ until you get home.”

My body fucking hummed at hands, at mouths, and then at Easton home and fucking. Christ, I pressed my dick up. Lan’s molten eyes burned into mine.

Easton groaned. “Yes, hell yes— shit, Oliver, warn a guy next time.”

We heard Oliver laugh. “You would have seen me if you weren’t staring off into space. Who you talking to, Easton?” Oliver laughed again, then some more.

“What?” Easton demanded roughly.

“It has to be Lan on the phone or else you wouldn’t be springing a boner at work.”

“Shut the fuck up!” Easton yelled, and then he added, “I have to go, see you bo… ah, bright and early in the morning.” He caught himself from saying see us both.

“Or maybe we should talk about this boner you’ve got going on?” Lan teased. I snorted.

“Bye,” Easton shouted.

Lan hung up the phone, dropped it to the bed, and then we both laughed. “Oliver will give him a heap of shit for that,” Lan said and went to roll off me, but I tightened my hold on his waist and shook my head.

“He doesn’t mind?” I asked to be sure.

Lan put a hand at each side of my head and looked down at me. “No. I knew he’d be cool with it because if it were the other way around, I’d be fine with it too. Would you?”

Hell, would I?

If I wasn’t around and they made each other come without me seeing… I wasn’t sure. I’d want to be there for each one, but then that’d be selfish of me because I’d want time one on one with each of them also.

Like now.

I was enjoying it was just Lan. Seeing him in his flirty, fun way with just me was good.

“I think I’d be all right,” I told him.

He smirked. “We can all learn to share together. Something new for all of us.” He dipped down, his face not far from mine. “I’m fucking lovin’ seeing you on the bed under me, your hair everywhere… just like I’d imagined.” He touched his mouth to mine. Lan’s words had my cock pounding, wanting a release. Lan pulled back, and asked, “You cool? With me? Just me?”

He was worried him on his own wouldn’t get the same reaction as both of them. Fucking idiot.

I removed my hands from under his tee, to the end of it, and started to pull it up. He smiled before he lifted his hands, and the tee came all the way off. I threw it to the floor. My eyes roamed over his body, loving the sight of him. I rested my hands against his shoulders, then ran them down his arms and back up. Lan watched me as my hands slid to his chest, my fingers tracing his nipples. He rocked down on me, sucking in a sharp breath. Grinning, I glided my fingers lower to his belt.

Glancing up at him, I undid his belt, his button, and the zipper. I said, “Yeah, I’m totally fine with just you.”

“Fuck,” Lan clipped when I pulled his cock free and ran my hand up and down it. He shook his head, watching my hand. “Never thought I’d see this. You touching me, wanting to touch me like this.”

I chuckled. “Guess you and East worked your magic on me.” For a second, I paused as I took that in. It was like they’d worked their magic on me because there I was, with Lan, touching him and knowing I wanted more with him, his lips, his body, his moans. I wanted it all, and I wasn’t scared from it.

He grinned. “Sorry it fucked with you, but I’ll forever be grateful for kissing you. No, for gettin’ messed up by Miller in the first place or else none of this would have happened.”

He gasped when I tightened my grip around him. I glared and frowned up at him. “Don’t be thankful for that motherfucker.”

Lan chuckled. “I’ll see what I can do.”

I nodded. My glare drifted away when I looked down and watched as I jerked Lan off. Couldn’t believe I was getting off by touching another man’s cock.

I had another man’s dick in my hand, and it was like it was normal. I goddamn loved the feel of his smooth skin, the veins, the look… all of it in my hand.

What would I be like if I sucked it?

What would Lan be like?

I wanted to know. “Can I suck you?” I asked without looking at him, then added, “Try at least?” I lost my grip on Lan as he climbed off me.

My brows dipped in confusion, but then he grabbed my arm, hauled me up and ordered roughly, “Get undressed. Now.” He then went about taking off his jeans and boxers. When he saw I hadn’t moved, he growled impatiently and tugged my tee up and off. He worked my jeans until they were undone and down my legs, my dick springing free. “Kick them off,” he clipped.

I did, with an amused smile on my face. He liked the idea of me giving him my first try at head with a guy.

He gently backed me to the bed again. “On your back,” he demanded.

I did, wondering how he wanted this to happen.

He stood at the edge, his dick in hand, stroking himself while eyeing me all over. “Fuckin’ gorgeous.”

“Yeah?” I asked. He’d told me he liked to look at me, but it still surprised me how I turned him on. Guessed he’d feel the same since he did that to me too.

“Christ, yes.” He nodded.

I lay flat, gripped my dick and dragged it up and down. “So are you. Gorgeous.”

“Goddamn,” he bit out. He walked around the bed and climbed on.

“What…?” I shut up when I realised what he was doing. He lay facing me, only his face was at level with my dick when I rolled his way, and I had an eyeful of his junk.

Christ, I was about to suck my first dick. I licked my lips, wanting to please him. My body jolted when he took hold of my cock and licked along the tip.

“You taste good,” he said, and then took me all the way in, deep, until the tip of my dick touched the back of his throat. I groaned.

I wanted to pleasure him like he was me. He sucked me hard and fast, and I pushed my leg back a little for more room. Reaching out, I grabbed his dick and pulled it down to my mouth. Slowly, I stuck my tongue out and ran it across the tip of Lan’s leaking cock. I brought my tongue back in and rolled his taste around before swallowing.

I liked it.

Lan gripped my hip and jerked me back and forth, fucking his own mouth with my cock.

“Fuck yes,” I growled out. I pulled his dick down to my mouth again and licked around the knob before gliding my lips and swirling my tongue over it as I slid my mouth up and down on his hard length. He groaned encouragingly, and it got me going more. I grabbed his hip tightly and sucked Lan in and out of my wet mouth.

Fucking hell, I was giving a blow job.

Giving Lan a blow job.

The way his hand ran over, up and down my body told me he was enjoying everything I did. I teased his tip, flicked my tongue over the end before drawing him in again. Up and down, I pressed my head and mouth onto his huge fucking dick.

He groaned. My dick lost his mouth as he groaned again, but his hand jerked me over and over while I saw him look down his body to me, lathering his cock with attention.

“Christ. Yes, Jesus, Park, that feels goddamn good.”

My balls shrank, my gut twisting in the best fucking way. I was going to lose it because I liked the desire, the lust on Lan’s face as he watched me suck him off.

“Fuck,” I cried. “Coming,” I yelled, coming up for air. Lan managed to get his mouth back around my tip just as the first load shot free. I couldn’t help it, I pumped my dick into his mouth and kept coming, losing it all inside Lan’s mouth.

Opening my eyes, I realised I was still pulling Lan’s cock in my hand. I went to take him back in my mouth when Lan moved. He got to his knees; his eyes burned brightly as he leaned over my head, offering his dick to my mouth.

“Suck me, Park,” he clipped harshly.

I spread my lips and then clamped around him. He slowly slipped his cock in and out of my mouth. His breath came out rapidly as he slid his dick back in and then out. “Fuck.” He watched me, his eyes never straying from my mouth. “Latch tighter.” I did. “Yes,” he bit out when he pushed his cock back inside my mouth. “Like that.” He nodded. I swirled my tongue, sucked him hard, and when it came back to the tip just near my lips, I ran my tongue in the slit. “Christ,” he cursed. He thrust harder into my mouth and pulled back out just as fast. “Coming. Chest or mouth?” I didn’t give him an answer; instead, I ran my hands from his thighs up to his arse and gripped him to me. He lost it and fucked my mouth, groaning as he climaxed.

For my first taste of a mouthful, it wasn’t too bad. It was a taste I could definitely get used to.

Lan pulled his dick out and sat back on his hunches. His breath seemed hard to grasp. “You sure you’ve never done that before?”

I snorted, rolled my eyes, and sat up. “No.”

He moved in, kissed my lips, a hand tangled into my hair where he pulled. Against my lips, he said, “Fuckin’ loved it.”

I grunted. “Good.”

“Now we got a problem,” he said.

“What?”

“I had a big day and came fuckin’ hard. I need a rest.”

A chuckle escaped. “Okay.” I touched my lips to his with a peck.

He let go of my hair and shifted to pull the blankets down. “Also means we’re spoonin’.”

I didn’t mention I wasn’t usually one to ever spoon, but it seemed with Lan and Easton, I was willing to do anything.

Jesus, how could I feel so full by feeling so damn much inside?

I didn’t know, but I fucking loved it.