I ignored my aching body, and my smile grew watching Easton walk from the room. Even though I was kicking myself repeatedly for how fucked up I was, I couldn’t stop the grin because it was Easton. The man I could so easily fall in love with again. Yeah, we had to get to know one another once more, but I liked what I saw. I doubted there was anything that could turn me off from Easton Ravel.

He was something special.

I had to get shit sorted, get my life back on track, and prove to him I was worth trusting and spending time with.

Fuck the life I’d dreamed of… marriage with a woman. Easton was what I wanted, and in making sure I could have that dream with him, I had to forget my… attraction to Parker.

“Shit,” I clipped to the quiet room. I’d kissed him. It was blurry in my mind, but I knew I’d done it as soon as I’d woken. What didn’t make sense was how I imagined him pressing against my lips harder and opening his mouth, the touch of his tongue. I shook my head, then winced when it pulled at my shoulder and my face throbbed. I must have made that shit up.

Though I did remember him flying up off the bed, his eyes flashed with anger, and him yelling before leaving.

If I’d been more myself, I would have called him back and told him it was a mistake, pretended he was Easton maybe, and then barked at him to get over it. But I hadn’t been; instead, I’d rested back with a smile and rubbed at my lips before falling back asleep.

What I did know was that I’d never take the damn pain pills again. They fucked with me too much. I’d ignored the sharp stab in my shoulder, the throb to my face, arm, and hip. The other smaller cuts weren’t a problem. Nothing I couldn’t handle, and shit, I’d handle the rest anyway. I’d have to.

What a fucked up few days.

Christ, it felt longer than a few days, but it wasn’t, and yet so much had happened.

I’d need a bloody holiday after Miller got caught. He would. He had to. I wouldn’t give up until he did. Maybe it was a good idea I let the pain meds go. That way I’d be able to do my own work. Seek information from my own sources.

A throat cleared. I glanced over at the door. Easton stepped in with the phone held out. I rocked on my feet, wanting to walk to him, pick him up, and crush my mouth to his. I didn’t. I waited where I was and practiced patience. Something I would need until Miller was gone and Easton had accepted me back into his life, and bed. I’d also need patience to deal with Parker.

I sat on the bed, brought up Parker’s contact and pressed it before I chickened out. When he didn’t answer the first time, annoyance settled deep as the thought of him ignoring me drifted into my mind.

On the third try, he answered gruffly, “What?”

“Where are you?” I asked. I had to make sure he wasn’t out beating someone senseless because of me. I could hear music playing in the background.

“Busy,” he bit out.

Shit. Never had he been so cold to me. Yeah, he’d been curt, but not dead in his voice towards me. I’d definitely fucked things. “We need to talk.”

“Busy,” he repeated and paused for a second, and then, “Tell him, baby, how busy am I?”

A giggle sounded on the phone, and I tensed. Heat penetrated my chest as anger surfaced. He was out fucking some slut because I’d kissed him. I wasn’t goddamn dirty; he needed to wipe the memory of it away. Fucking dickhead.

Shit. I could be overreacting. Probably was, but I couldn’t stop it. The fact he was out there with a woman after I’d kissed him, dirtied him, was like a kick to the face.

A girly, high-pitched voice said into the phone, “Very busy.” Then I heard sucking.

Words weren’t coming to me. I still felt I needed to apologise for screwing us up, even when I was pissed. So I tried, “I didn’t mean to….” I cursed low, thinking screw it all, the apology and my fucking feelings. Instead, I said, “Have a good night.” I ended the call, lowered the phone and stared at it.

“Everything okay?” Easton asked.

I scoffed, threw the phone to the bed and shrugged, then fucking cringed when my shoulder pulled. “Yeah, fine. He doesn’t want to talk because he’s out screwing some bird right now.” I smiled, but it was strained. I could feel it.

“You’re upset by it?”

Shaking my head, I said, “Not in the way you’re thinking.” Standing, I moved past him and out the door. Each step I took sent a nagging pain through my thigh. It also tugged at my hip wound, and I couldn’t forget—because it wouldn’t let me—my shoulder and arm. Pushing through it all, I went into the kitchen, grabbed a glass and slid a bottle of bourbon, already on the counter, closer to undo the cap.

“Lan—”

“Don’t. It’s been a few shit days, I’m already healing, and I refuse to take pain meds anymore. This’ll take a bit of it away.”

“And could make you fuzzy again like the pain meds, so what’s the point?”

I stopped. My hand gripped the neck of the bottle tightly. I picked it up, turned and threw it at the sink, roaring, “Son of a bitch.” I swiped my arm across the counter. The glass went flying and smashed into the cupboards.

“Are you good now?” Easton asked from the other side of the counter while I tried to suck in a good amount of oxygen.

I wasn’t good. Miller got to me. Broke into my bloody house. Beat and shot me. I wanted my hands wrapped around his throat, watching him as he took his last breath.

It seemed nothing was good. I fucking ached all over. I messed up huge with Parker, and if I admitted it to myself, I wasn’t completely sure Easton and I had a chance. No doubt I could fuck things up in one way or another.

What was I doing?

Shaking my head, I said, “I don’t care if he sleeps with someone.”

Easton hummed under his breath. All right, I did. I hated how he fucked women whenever he had the chance to. He deserved more than one night of screwing. He deserved… more.

“Okay.” I nodded. “I told you I’m messed up. I do care he’s out fuckin’ some bitch who means nothing. But I care about it more tonight because it’s like a punch to the gut he’s out doing it right after I kissed him. Like he had to wash away the thought of me, and that pisses me off. I don’t and won’t force myself, my ways on him, but I’m not disgusting.”

“You’re not,” Easton whispered.

“Everything just seems to be fuckin’ up because of me.”

I heard Easton move. I picked up my head to see him come around the counter. “None of what’s happened is your fault. You didn’t know Miller was out and coming after you. You didn’t know being under the influence would cause you to do something you would never do when you’re fully with it. You’re stressed and sore and wallowing. You’re allowed to, but only for so long.” He smiled. “Then you have to get back up and keep going.” Easton reached out and squeezed my arm. “Things will start looking up.”

The urge to drag him into my arms and claim his mouth was strong.

It was nothing else but the man in front of me and his words that calmed me and gave me a chance to see the possibility that things could be okay in the end.

Once everything had sorted itself out.

“Thank you.” I nodded. I took a step closer to him and leaned in so my mouth was close to his ear. I wanted to bite it, lick it, or even suck it into my mouth, but I didn’t, and, fuck it was hard not to. “No matter how you’ve changed, nothing you’ve done or will do could stop me from wanting to be with you. You calm me and drive me crazy. Never has another captured me as much as you, which is why I’ve never been with another guy since you.” I pulled back, catching his gaze that flickered with emotions I couldn’t read, but if I were to guess, it was desire. I then touched a finger to his bottom lip and trailed it across it before I gently tapped it. “I’ll wait for as long as I live for you.” I pinched his chin. “I’m going to go back to bed. Don’t clean that up. I’ll do it tomorrow. I know I said I have something for Parker, but what I feel for you has always been strong.” Leaning in, I touched my lips to the corner of his mouth and then walked out of the room, leaving a stunned Easton there.

I didn’t know if I was a dick for saying what I did so soon, but I couldn’t stop myself. He needed to know. I needed to say it so he realised that no matter what, Easton was important to me, always had been.

Parker… well, I’d figure things out eventually. If he’d give me friendship again, I’d do all I could to never mess it up.

But Easton was it. Easton was mine already in my heart and soul.

One day, fuck, I hoped one day soon, Easton would realise it too.

Until then, I’d show him I wasn’t the same man I used to be.

Sunshine nearly goddamn blinded me when I woke. What came with it was more aching and soreness. I glanced to the bedside table for the time and instead found a note leaning against the digital clock someone moved from my room in there.

Disappointment dropped my gut, yet I still found myself grinning because he’d left his number. Sucked his dad was sick, but from what I remembered, the two of them didn’t have much of a relationship in the first place. Whatever he was sick with must be bad to get Easton at his side. If I didn’t look like Frankenstein, I’d find out where his dad lived and get there to be by his side, because I also remembered Easton saying something about how cunning his father was. I could only hope, if I called, he’d tell me if he needed help and no matter how I looked or felt, I’d get my arse there.

Fuck me. I’d give anything to be healed. Anything for Miller to be still in jail or at the very least known the motherfucker was out. I would have taken precautions if I’d known. Then I could have had a somewhat normal experience when I’d found out Easton was living next door. Things would have been different between us. I would’ve already asked him out on a date. Also, things wouldn’t have crashed between Parker and me. I wouldn’t have kissed him.

It sure as hell felt like Fate was shitting all over me. Hopefully, things would change once more for me, and soon.