Present

Of all the situations I could have been called to last month, it had to be the one Lan was overseeing where a man got shot in a backyard incident. Honestly, I didn’t know what I felt after seeing Lan Davis. What I did know was even though it had been a few weeks since I’d seen him, he remained on my mind. I struggled to forget the way my heart had beat wildly upon seeing him, as if it were thrilled. But then my brain had taken over, and I’d become angry he was there.

Shit, I still had those reactions each time he crossed my mind, which was too many times for my liking. What was worse was how he still managed to look like a sex god, even with the salt and pepper colour he had going in his hair, goatee, and moustache. He was still tall, still buff, and still damn delicious.

The bastard.

However, being infuriated won out over anything because I doubted I could ever shrug off how things ended between us. He’d given me two months of pure happiness. I’d been in love with him by the end of our time together. Only he’d killed it in one night. The night I went to visit him in Ballarat. How was I supposed to know he’d have his mates over when I popped in? I didn’t, and the way he handled the surprise visit was gut-wrenching.

One of his cop buddies had answered the door and called for Lan. He came our way with a laughing smile on his face, but it quickly dropped when he saw me.

Dropped.

Like I was nothing, and as far as I knew, we had been something. At least to me.

Unless I imagined all the tender times we’d spent together.

He’d sidled up behind his friend. “Yeah?”

“Um… hi, sorry if this is a bad time—”

“It is. I don’t have time to help you out.”

My jaw clenched so tightly I was surprised my teeth didn’t shatter, much like my heart was. I searched his face for the Lan I knew. The Lan he was when it was just him and me, but he wasn’t there. I was staring at cop Lan, straight Lan. One with hardened eyes.

He didn’t know it, but he’d just made the decision more manageable for me.

“Right. Of course.” I nodded. “Just wanted to let you know…” I flicked my gaze to his friend who was still standing there listening to everything with rapt attention. I shook my head and sighed. “I’m moving away. My mum needs help with some things and…” Fuck you, you arsehole, was what I wanted to say. Instead, I sniffed and knew I needed to get away from there before I started crying. “Nothing,” I muttered. “Goodbye.” You rat bastard.

Turning, I heard the front door close and then his friend asked, “Who was that?”

“Just a guy, I helped out his family in a rough spot. Can’t get rid of him now.”

Jesus.

I pressed my palm into my chest to try and stop my heart from tearing in two.

Shaking my head, I jumped down from the removal truck and dragged my mind out of the past. It didn’t need to linger there. I was over Lan, and if luck shined down on me, I would never see him again. I didn’t even know why he was working in Melbourne when he was from Ballarat, and I didn’t care for the answer. He may have acted as if he wanted to know why I was back in Victoria, but I’d never tell him because I was determined never to see him again.

Stretching, I stood before my own house and grinned. It was perfect.

I’d always wanted a ranch-style home with some land, only a small amount, and I’d finally got it. There were houses on each side, but far enough away we wouldn’t annoy each other and didn’t have to get to know one another. It also meant I could be as loud as I wanted and they shouldn’t be able to hear me, I hoped. Not that I was a lively person in general, but I had to be when my beasts didn’t listen.

I had six dogs, all rescue animals. Some of them were angels and the others liked to try my patience. Another reason I was glad to have extra space was for them to roam and run amuck however they pleased in the fenced-off area out the back. It was better than the small backyard I had in town. I also planned to save more when the time called for it. With a passion, I hated how some people treated their animals. It made me sick to the stomach when I thought about what my guys and girls had been through before I got to them.

Currently, while I moved in, my old neighbour was taking care of them for me.

“Yoo-hoo,” was called from my left. A woman in her sixties maybe called from the nearby fence with a wave. So much for not getting to know the neighbours. I liked my privacy, but I would never be rude. I waved and then made my way over to her.

“Hi.” I smiled.

“Hello, dear. I’m Mrs Bridge. I thought I would introduce myself.”

“I’m Easton Ravel."

She eyed my tattoos running down both arms. “Are you trouble?”

I chuckled at that. “No, ma’am. I’m a paramedic looking to settle down with my rescue dogs.”

“Oh, how sweet. It’s a pleasure to meet you, Easton Ravel, and if you ever need anything, my husband and I will help. My John is a handyman. He fixes everything around this place.”

“Thanks, that’s great to know.” We both glanced at the car pulling into my drive. “And there’s my help. I better get to unpacking.”

“Is that your wife arriving?”

Grinning, I shook my head. “No. I’m not married, and he’s a friend. We’re paramedics together.”

“Lovely. I’ll let you get to it then.”

“Wait, Mrs Bridge. Do you know who lives on the other side of my home?”

She shook her head. “No, dear. He keeps to himself. Actually, he’s hardly home. I’m not sure what type of job he has, but it keeps him busy.”

Perfect.

“No worries, thanks for the information. Have a great day.”

“You also.”

Turning, I made my way over to Oliver who stood leaning against his car. He grinned. “Making nice with the neighbours already? I thought you said you didn’t want to know them.”

I rolled my eyes. “She happened to be outside when I pulled up. I couldn’t be rude.”

“Of course you couldn’t.” He straightened and met me at the back to the removal truck, bumping my shoulder. “I have to say, it’s a sweet place you got here.”

“Told you it was.” I pulled the doors open and jumped up into the back.

“But it’s too far out for my liking. Though anytime you want to rekindle anything I’d be here in a heartbeat.”

I tensed. “Oli—”

He laughed. “Don’t. I’m teasing. I know you’re right. We’re better work partners than bed ones.”

That had been my argument. Though we had been compatible in bed together, I just saw him more as a friend than having a long-lasting relationship with him.

“Sorry,” I muttered.

He snorted. “Don’t worry about it, honestly. Besides, Chris would have my balls if he heard me offering myself to you again.”

I laughed. “He really would.”

“So you won’t tell him?”

“Hell no, he’d punch me in the face while telling me I’m too damn good-looking for my own good.”

“God, I love that man.”

I faced him. “You do?”

“Yeah.” He nodded, smiling softly. “He gets me and knows I enjoy teasing you too much to stop. I get off on getting a reaction out of you. You get this guilty look each time I say something. It’s funny as hell.” He shook his head. “East, it’s been nearly a year. I’m over it and have moved on. You need to stop feeling bad for breaking up with me.”

I couldn’t help it. I felt like a prick at the time for hurting him. I still did even though I knew he’d moved on. I was wired in a way that I cared too much.

“Come on, throw me some stuff and let’s get this moving,” he said. I did, thinking how lucky I was that Oliver and I stayed friends. He was one of my closest and had helped make the move back to Victoria easier after losing my mum.

Hours later, I was driving back into my driveway with my dogs in the back of my Ute. Before I’d picked them up, I’d dropped off the removal van and paid for pizza at Oliver and Chris’s place to say thanks for helping me out. I left a pouting Oliver with Chris for him to deal with. Oliver wasn’t happy because it was the start of my three weeks’ holidays and he hated working with someone he hardly knew. He’d have to suck it up though because I was looking forward to the time off.

I got out of my vehicle and went straight to the back of it and opened the tray. Tin, Bell, and Buddy whimpered at me, eager to get out and run. While Astro, Captain, and Nero sat quietly waiting for my order. I quickly grabbed their leashes so I could lead them out the back since the front gate was still open. If the three eager ones got loose, they’d take off wherever they liked and wouldn’t come when called. I was currently training them since they were the newest arrivals in our family.

“Come,” I called. They jumped down and nearly took my arm off trying to take off sniffing. I walked them to the side of the house where the gate was to the fenced-off area out back and opened it. Around the back of the house, I took them all off their leads, and they bolted in different directions, checking out their new home.

After placing their leashes over the railing on the back deck, I stood a while and watched them.

This was home.

This was mine.

Land, a ranch-style log home, and fresh air.

It was where I’d always pictured myself, and I was finally doing it.

Mum would be proud.

I glanced up at the darkened sky, to the stars shining and sighed. I hoped she could see me. See how I’d finally found my place and was happy. It’d been hell after she’d lost the fight with cancer.

Hell times ten.

When I’d first moved to New South Wales to help her out with bills and such, I’d hated it, but of course, with Mum being there, I soon learned to love it. She helped me through the pain of what I’d been feeling from Lan. I’d been so angry and had played up a bit with drinking, partying, and fucking anyone who’d have me. That was until Mum kicked some sense into me and got me on the straight and narrow. Told me to finish my schooling to become a paramedic. She’d been my rock.

And then I’d lost her.

Dad hadn’t given a shit how sick Mum was or what we were going through. So after Mum lost her battle, my “fuck you” to him, and out of wanting remembrance to Mum, I started getting tattoos. Mum had always loved ink, even had some herself after she’d left Dad. I had a couple that matched my mum’s, a sun on my back shoulder and an owl on my arm to make sure she was always with me.

A smile lifted my lips when Dad had seen me for the first time covered in them. His nose turned up before he told me, “You’re no son of mine.” Hearing it didn’t faze me; it suited me fine because I had always been my mum’s son.

She was all I needed in my life, and now I would live on, taking each day as it came, for her.