My head swirled. Jesus, I’d been on such a goddamn high, and then it crashed. Sailed right down into the pits of Hades. At least my body reacted as if I had. The reaction had been big when I’d seen Parker standing in the doorway. All of the oxygen had left my body, my gut had ripped open, turned and got shoved back inside of me. Fear over him seeing Easton and me jerking off together had me sweating in seconds. My hands had shaken as I’d cleaned up my gut and tried to get to Parker before the situation burned in hell.

I’d be sure he’d think it was worse than me kissing him.

Probably was. Hell, I didn’t know what to think. He’d seen me wanking while Face Timing with Easton, and Easton had been doing the same. Parker would have heard both of our sounds, the pleasure we got from sharing that moment.

Why hadn’t he bolted right away?

How long had he been standing there?

What in the fuck could I say to him?

What was I supposed to say? “Hey, just forget I kissed you. While you’re at it, forget you saw me jerking off to a guy on the other end of the phone.” Yeah, that wouldn’t be damn awkward at all.

I took a seat on the couch. Parker sat in the chair, then stood, pulled something out of his jeans pocket, and tied his hair in a loose ponytail at the back of his neck. He plonked down, rubbed his hands down his thighs, and looked everywhere but at me. When his knee started bouncing up and down, I thought it time to get this shit out of the way and see if we could salvage some type of friendship.

“Do you hate me?” I blurted. It wasn’t the first question I had in mind, but yeah, it was important still.

His gaze finally clashed with mine in a scowl that told me he was pissed. “Do you seriously fuckin’ think a slip-up, when you were medicated, would have me hatin’ you after the shit we’ve dealt with in work and from the club?”

I leaned back into the couch. It could have been a possibility, one I’d considered and had been on my mind near every hour of each day since I’d last seen him.

“Been a week, Parker. ’Course I’m gonna think it.”

He cringed. “Yeah, ah, been busy.”

“Look….” Fuck, I didn’t know what to say.

Parker groaned as if he were in pain and scrubbed a hand over his face. “Can we just go back to before anythin’ happened and never fuckin’ mention it again?”

My lips twitched. “If you’re willing, then yes.”

“Good.” He nodded. “Clean slate.”

“Clean slate,” I agreed.

“Great.”

I nodded. “Good.” Who were we kidding? It was going to still be awkward, for a while at least. However, I didn’t want to lose him from my life. Besides, when I got back to work, it’d be hell if I had to find another partner. At least he was willing to try and get over this speed hump. I’d just have to picture him with a bag over his head or just replace it with Easton’s image of losing control over the phone as he came.

Fuck me, that had been hot, and then I’d seen Parker at the door and blurted his name in shock. Thank fuck Easton had understood what was going down when I’d explained. He’d told me it was fine and that I’d better go sort shit out with him before he bolted again and ignored me for a few more weeks. Not that I’d reached out to him either because I didn’t know what to say. I could have asked him about his lay with the Mickey Mouse-voiced woman, but that could have come across as me being jealous.

I still felt that twist my gut, the thought of him going off to get laid after my lips had touched his.

My gaze flicked down to said lips. I ripped them away to the TV. “Want a beer?” I asked.

“Sure.”

Yeah, it would definitely be tense between us for a while.

At least things between Easton and me were building into something more. We’d been talking every day, morning and night, about anything we could think of. Especially about his dad and what he was dealing with being near his father. The motherfucker.

I pulled open the fridge door and peered in, with my mind on Easton I was smiling. When we’d reach the subject of wanking, my cock had gone from soft to hard in seconds.

As Easton laid back on the bed in the hotel room, he sighed. He’d not long come from the shower and only wore a pair of boxers. His inked skin had been on display, and I damn enjoyed looking at it.

“I think he’s planning something for this dinner,” he’d said.

“What could it be?” I asked.

“I don’t know, but I don’t like it. He gets this look in his eyes every time Darlene mentions it.” Easton was coming back to Melbourne on the Sunday. Darlene wanted to throw a big party on the Saturday to celebrate him leaving. So far between them all, things had been civilised. He’d even enjoyed Darlene’s company. She was young, but sweet and doted on her daughter, Easton’s sister, Jewel. Easton had also loved getting to know the smart, but sometimes cheeky Jewel. He’d been thankful his father hadn’t been around much. Busy with work, or as he’d told Easton, doctor’s appointments. He’d even asked Easton not to mention his illness around Darlene because she wasn’t coping at all with it and would break down. He didn’t want Jewel to notice because they hadn’t told her. It sounded suspicious to me, but Easton didn’t think it was because Darlene was such a sweet soul.

“Why don’t you ask him?” I suggested.

His brows shot up. “I’d rather stick a fork in my eyeballs than have him think I care about anything he could be up to.”

I chuckled. “Fair enough.”

“Enough about him. Your bruises are looking better. I can actually see your other eye.”

I smiled. “Smartarse.”

“That’s me. No seriously, you are looking better.”

“Yeah?” I cocked a brow. “How much better?”

He rolled his eyes. “Are you looking for compliments, Lan?”

“Hell yeah I am. I’ve felt like a goddamn hideous monster for the last week.”

He snorted. “You could never look hideous.”

I smirked. “No?”

He laughed. “Stop fishing.”

“Then I’ll offer some instead. In the last ten years, I’ve missed seeing your handsome face, your goddamn stunning body, and listening to your voice. Do you know why I’ve rung every day?”

“No,” he whispered.

Instead of sitting on my bed, I laid back, one arm behind my head while I still held the phone and the view of Easton on it. “Because I’ve gone too many fuckin’ years without seeing and hearing you. I know this could scare you, but I still gotta say it, Easton. I don’t want to go a day without you in it ever again.”

“Lan,” he uttered.

“Christ, I love hearin’ my name come outta your mouth like that. Reminds me of all the times I was inside you and you’d say my name quietly on a sigh. Like you loved right where I was. You thought I belonged right where I was. In your bed, with you, and inside you.”

“Y-you can’t talk like that.”

“Why?”

“It’s too soon.”

I shook my head. “Know you, East. Know all there is to know about you. Give me another reason.”

“I don’t know what I want.”

“You do. It’s okay to stall, to go slow, but you know what you want or else you wouldn’t take my call every day, even a couple of times a day.”

He grumbled under his breath. “Fine, Mr Know-it-all.” He paused to bite his bottom lip, then licked it before he gained his courage to say, “Then you’re making me hard and you’re not here to take care of it.”

Closing my eyes, I groaned. “Show me,” I ordered, opening my eyes again to find his were like mine, hooded and heated.

“We shouldn’t.”

“Why?”

“It’s too soon,” he said again, but it wasn’t as strong as before.

“East.” I pulled my tee from my body and threw it beside me on the bed. “You wanna see?”

He thinned his lips and nodded.

Slowly, I tilted my phone down so his view would be of my chest, stomach, and then my boxers being tented by my hard cock. Easton made a noise in the back of his throat. I moved the screen back up slowly.

“Your turn,” I said, and when he did, the sight was absolutely fucking hot.

“You can’t find any?” Parker asked, coming into the kitchen.

Jesus Christ. I’d been staring off into the fridge thinking of the hot scene with Easton and had forgotten Parker was there.

How could I explain why I suddenly had a bulge in my boxers?

Fuck, fuck, fuck.

I grabbed two beers, shifted back to shut the door and then moved back some more, keeping my front hidden from his view. I felt like a goddamn horny teenager not wanting Mum to find out I got erections. I made sure the counter was between us before turning and placing his bottle on the counter and sliding it his way.

Parker picked it up, unscrewed the lid and flicked it into the sink. “Right, so I’ll just add you hiding your boner to the list of things we forget and never talk about again.”

Goddamn my life.

Sighing, I dropped my head, winced a little from the pain it pulled in my shoulder and closed my eyes. “Easton. I was thinking about him.”

“Uh-huh,” he muttered.

I snapped my head up and clipped, “I was.”

Ah, fuck it. He could believe what he had. Hell, I’d been surprised he actually brought it up in the first place.

“Yeah, let’s forget it. I’m gonna head back to bed.”

He saluted me with the beer, staring down at the counter. “Night,” he said, before walking from the room to plant himself on the couch.

I wanted to say more. Wanted to ask why he pointed it out when he could have just left it, but the little flare in his eyes made me think he’d been wondering the same question himself.

Instead, I took my bottle and made my way down the hall. At least he wasn’t running out of the house again.

I closed my door all the way that time. I hadn’t before because I wasn’t expecting to jerk off with Easton. I sat on the edge of the bed, grabbed my phone and pushed in Easton’s number.

“How did it go?”

“Well, he didn’t shoot me or leave. I asked Nurse to give us a moment and then caught Parker in time before he bolted. He wants to forget anything happened and go on like normal.”

“That’s… good, right?”

I didn’t know. I shrugged, then cursed under my breath. My damn shoulder, I’d used it too much earlier. Once more I wanted my hands around Miller’s neck.

“I guess it’ll sort itself out, and one day we’ll get back to what we were.”

“He saw you masturbating,” Easton whispered, and then I caught his lips twitching. I narrowed my eyes. He gulped, then snorted. “Masturbating to me and this is after you kissed him.” His lips twitched more. “I bet a straight guy hasn’t seen as much action as this before.” That was when he lost it and started rolling on the bed, laughing.