Chapter 2
Mason
“Doctor Chambers?” my head nurse, Junie, said, knocking on my closed office door.
“Come in, Junie.”
“Your first patient is here.”
“Okay. Let me pull her file and I’ll be right out,” I told her.
I closed the chart of another patient I was reviewing and pulled open my calendar on the computer desktop. I clicked the timeslot and stared at the name. It was familiar. I did a mental scan of my brain, and my eyes widened as I read the specifics in the chart.
It couldn’t be the same Lara I had known all those years ago. I thought Brian’s sister had married some guy with the last name Brown, but I imagined it was a fairly common name. This was a big city and an even bigger world. There was no way this could be the Lara McCall who had stolen my heart twenty years ago.
I reviewed the chart and realized her story wasn’t so different than the hundreds of other women who came into my clinic. She wanted a baby without going the traditional route. Many women were choosing to skip the old-fashioned way of finding a man, marrying, and then having a baby. One client had told me she was only going to end up divorced and a single parent anyway, so why bother.
Artificial insemination was the answer for women who wanted babies without the baby-daddy problem. I was more than happy to provide the service. My clinic was successful because we had some of the best people in the business working for us.
I didn’t see anything in this woman’s chart that would be an issue. I was predicting she would be pregnant after the first or second insemination process. I grabbed the tablet we used to review charts and headed to the private room where the patient was waiting. We referred to these rooms as lounges. They were far more comfortable than a waiting room with prying eyes and nosey strangers.
I knocked on the door before turning the handle and entering. When I walked inside, I couldn’t believe my eyes. It was her. My heart did a crazy somersault in my chest that made me wonder if I was about to have a heart attack.
“You!” we both said in unison.
My mouth went dry as I drank in the sight of the woman. She looked the same in a lot of ways, but that youthful teenager was gone and in her place was a gorgeous woman. The woman in front of me had a profound sense of sadness cloaking her. It did little to diminish her beauty. Her long chestnut-brown hair was pulled up into a ponytail. Her face had only a touch of makeup. She wore a black shirt tucked into a pair of gray slacks. When she looked at me with those familiar brown eyes, I felt the years fade away. It was her. She had aged, but those dark brown eyes fanned by long black eyelashes were very familiar.
“Lara?” I asked, but it was more than obvious it was Lara McCall, my best friend’s little sister.
“Mason?” she asked at the same time.
It was incredibly awkward. I was used to making women and their partners feel at ease. This was my turf. My office. Usually, I knew how to help people feel more relaxed when talking about something so private, but she was throwing me off.
I sat down on the small couch she was occupying. This immediately put us on the same level. I made sure to keep a respectable distance.
“Hi,” I said, starting the conversation over.
“Hi,” she said with a wobble in her voice. “This is embarrassing.”
“Don’t be embarrassed. I’m your doctor. Are you going to be okay with that? If not, I can assign someone else to your case,” I told her in a professional tone.
“It’s fine. I was just, uh, surprised to see you. I didn’t realize you worked here.”
I had to smile at that because I didn’t only work at the clinic. I was one of the owners. But I wasn’t going to correct her.
“Yes. I’ve worked here for about four years now.”
“Oh. I’m glad to see you have been so successful. How’ve you been?” she asked, more out of polite habit than genuine concern.
“I’ve been well. You?”
She gave me a tight smile. “I’ve been, uh, good.”
She appeared uncomfortable, her hands fidgeting and her eyes downcast, and small talk wasn’t helping to ease her discomfort. I chose to get right down to business.
“I’ve reviewed your chart and understand you want to undergo artificial insemination. Is that correct?”
She nodded. “Yes. I believe that is the best option for me at this time.” Then she shut her mouth and didn’t elaborate.
I wanted to ask her about twenty million questions, but I stopped myself. It was none of my business. She was here to have a baby. Alone, apparently. It was definitely not what I had imagined her future to be like, but I guessed none of us ended up with the future we’d thought we would have. Except for Brian. He had done well. He too was alone, but it didn’t seem to bother him.
“Do you understand the process? Do you have any questions?” I asked her, trying to remember my usual spiel.
She nodded her head again. “Yes, I understand. My doctor explained it in depth and felt I was a good candidate. I’ve read you have a, uh, you know, a bank,” she said shyly.
“Yes. We have a bank of donor sperm. You will need to fill out some forms, and then our specialist can match you with a donor that meets your needs.”
She was blushing prettily. It was odd to be talking about her getting pregnant by a complete stranger.
“I’m not picky,” she muttered. “I just want a healthy baby.”
She sounded like so many of my patients. She was desperate for a child. It hurt me to know she was in this position. If I could go back and change the past, I would.
“All our donors undergo a rigorous health check as well as a mental health screening,” I assured her.
She nodded her head and seemed to be getting more comfortable with the idea. “Good. I’m excited to get started.”
“Great. Well, we’ll need to get you started on some medicine that ups your hormones and improves your odds of conceiving,” I explained.
“That’s fine. I’m ready.”
I began to explain the process and the possibility that it may not work.
“I understand all that. I’m willing to try a few rounds. I have the money to pay for it,” she said, frustration in her voice.
“Okay. That’s good. We should know within about two weeks of the first insemination appointment if it worked. If it doesn’t, we try again the following month.”
“I’m divorced,” she blurted out.
“I’m sorry,” I said, not exactly sure why she’d said it.
“I want a baby. I had a miscarriage about three months ago, and then I caught my husband cheating on me. I’m divorced, but I want a baby. I don’t want a husband or a father for my baby.”
I nodded. Her story was not all that unique. I had heard it before, and I was used to these emotional outbursts in my office. It was why we had developed these rooms. People who visited our clinic were at a low point in their lives and desperate for a child.
“I’m very sorry to hear that, Lara. Really, I am,” I told her. I reached out to take her hand in sympathy but decided against it. “I’m not here to judge you or your decision. I want to help. You are in the right place. We have excellent success rates. If this option doesn’t work, don’t give up. We can try IVF.”
“Thank you. Yes, I am familiar with that as well.”
I chuckled. “I’m glad to have a patient who is so well-informed. It makes my job easier! It is a more invasive procedure, but it has excellent success, especially for a healthy woman.”
She seemed to relax a bit more. I was convinced I was more stressed than she was. Seeing her was wreaking havoc on my emotions. I hated feeling anything. My history with her was not the best. Seeing her reminded me of nothing but pain and heartache. That pain had shaped me into the man I was today. While I was proud of my professional success, I had never been good at relationships. I was destined to be a bachelor.
“How’s Brian doing?” I asked, wondering if her brother knew what she was doing.
It wasn’t technically any of his business, but the two used to be close.
“He’s good. I assumed you two still talked. He doesn’t know about this. You can’t tell him!”
“Lara, I wouldn’t. I am your doctor. We have doctor-patient confidentiality, and I wouldn’t. This is your story to tell, not mine. If you are more comfortable with having someone else oversee your case, I can put in for that request. Truth be told, I do very little of the actual hands-on care. If you are uncomfortable at all, just say the word,” I said, secretly hoping she would.
I wasn’t sure if I could maintain a professional distance. Seeing her was making me a little crazy.
“I’m okay with this for now. Let’s see how it goes.”
“Okay. Well, here’s the information about the process as well as what to expect from the medication and procedures. Junie has set you up with appointments for a checkup and then, based on your cycle, your insemination date. If anything changes, it is important you call us right away,” I said.
She nodded her head. “I understand. I will. Thank you for helping me. I know this is a little weird, but this place was at the top of the list. I really didn’t know you worked here.”
“It’s fine. It was a long time ago. We are adults, and what happened when we were kids doesn’t matter now,” I said, saying the words with more commitment than I felt.
“Thank you.”
She stood, and I opened the door to let her out. Once she was down the hall, I shut the door and released the pent-up breath I had been holding.
“Shit,” I breathed out.
That had been awful. What the fuck? How in the hell was I going to be her doctor? I was supposed to take a clinical approach to impregnating the woman who had captured my heart so many years ago and pretend it didn’t bother me. I didn’t see that happening.
Sappy feelings irritated me. I hated feeling hurt or sad over what had never happened. I needed a way to quiet all those feelings. Drugs and alcohol had worked during my college years, but now I couldn’t drown my sorrows that way. I had a better coping method. It was the next cardinal sin—sex. Lots of sex with women I didn’t love. That was how I made it through life now. It wiped away the memory of Lara and those stupid emotions that tended to pop up whenever I thought about her.
I didn’t do emotions and all that nonsense. Nope. Fucking random women was my therapy. I yanked open the lounge door and stomped back to my office. I needed my cell phone to make a very personal call.