CHAPTER 23
Ryan
I woke up on the couch and cursed softly as I looked around. I’d meant to get upstairs to Brea last night but had to deal with a few last-minute emails. I’d fallen asleep with the computer still on. It was dead now. I rocked my head back and forth to wake up, knowing I had to head back into the city again today.
I saw that Brea was hurt by my long absences. I hadn’t intended for this to happen, but I needed to make sure everything was perfect before I handed my dream over to the staff I was already interviewing.
I made coffee and went upstairs to see my girls sleeping before I took a shower and dressed in a suit for my meetings today. It was funny that I had dreamed about this center off and on for years and had it now but just wanted to be home more. I had more than just an inheritance and a baby. I had a life I was missing out on every fucking day, and it was one that I wanted now. I came out of the bathroom to see Brea feeding Elle. She looked at me with a passing hungry gaze. She looked beautiful this morning, and I smiled at her. I wanted to find a way to let her know I hadn’t forgotten about her, that I still wanted her.
“Hey.”
“Hi,” she said softly as she shifted her eyes to the windows. “How is everything going with the center?”
“Great,” I shot back, and she widened her eyes. I knelt on the bed and kissed her softly. She sighed and moaned into my mouth. “I’ll be home for dinner tonight and I am all yours.” I brushed my lips against hers as I felt the sexual need fill the room between us. Groaning, I pulled away. “Fuck, Brea. I have to get into the city, but I’ll be home by five. I swear on my life.” I looked at her and breathed in deeply. “I miss you both so much.”
I leaned down to kiss Elle’s hair and then stood to drape a tie around my neck. Brea watched as I finished dressing, and I took Elle from her when she stood to use the bathroom. I stared into Elle’s sweet face. She was starting to look a lot like Brea and had the prettiest blue eyes. “I miss you too, Princess Elle.” She was growing fast, and I blinked as sadness filled me for a moment before Brea returned, wrapped in a light pink robe.
“I’ll make us dinner tonight. Bring some cider home.” Brea smiled at me as I looked at her in understanding and nodded. We all walked downstairs, and I headed to the garage while she went into the kitchen to make some food with Elle held securely in one arm. My cock was hard in my pants as I backed out of the driveway. I wanted her so badly, I cursed my life. Deep down, I knew it was amazing, but I just needed more of Brea. She’d been wonderful to me during the last several weeks, but I wanted her wrapped around me the way she always was, making me feel safe in our little bubble. I wanted her naked and spread out for me so I could kiss her full breasts and her soft belly and between her legs.
Jesus. I braked hard at the last light heading out of town and hit the steering wheel. I got to the center and checked out what was being done today before I had meetings with some investors to show them the progress of the building. It was a necessary evil that kept this project going. The day seemed to drag as we talked about everything and I showed them graphs and estimates. We discussed finishing dates as they nodded and asked me even more questions.
Fuck me. It was four o'clock when I picked up the aforementioned cider, a bouquet of pink roses, and Brea’s favorite dessert. I hit the road and tried to stay calm through the thick traffic. My woman was waiting for me and I couldn’t wait to feel her underneath me, though there were more critical things to take care of before that. We needed to eat as a family and converse for more than ten minutes at a time. We needed to laugh and cuddle so I could assure Brea she was still important to me.
I loved her, but I hadn’t told her yet. After everything we’d been through together, I wanted the moment to be special. She appreciated everything I did for her, but she needed to hear the words.
I pulled into the driveway and opened the garage as I looked at the house. I pulled in and couldn’t get out of the car fast enough to head inside.
Brea was in the kitchen pulling something out of the oven. I let her put it down before I cupped her face and kissed her softly as she whimpered against me.
“I’m so glad to be home,” I murmured as I pulled away and looked around. “Where’s Elle?”
“Living room in her swing. I’m introducing her to some music.” Brea smiled as I kissed her again. Then I walked into the living room to hear Billie Holliday playing through the speakers as the swing rocked forward and backward. I leaned down and smiled at Elle as she looked at me from somewhere between sleeping and consciousness.
“Hey there, beautiful.” I was taking the morning off with them tomorrow and making breakfast before we walked to the beach.
“I saw Lucy after the doctor appointment. She wants to double date this weekend here in town. I was thinking we could have your dad watch Elle since she’s used to a bottle now. He’s so good with her,” Brea said. I had locked on two words.
“Double date with whom?”
“Ryan, it’s been a long time. She’s still seeing him and I miss her. Let’s give it a chance,” Brea said as she brought lasagna to the table and I stood up. “I want to get out of the house and have some fun, and I think Elle’s finally big enough. I can leave her here for a couple hours with Mike and then we can all come back. It will be fun.”
I walked in to get plates and silverware as she returned for the salad, giving me a pleading look. I knew she had been cooped up at home for weeks now and sighed. “Okay. We’ll do it, but if he pulls any shit with you, I am kicking his ass to the curb.”
“Fair enough.” She smiled as she set the salad down on the table and kissed me softly. “Thank you.”
We talked about the center while we ate, and I caught her up on the progress. She seemed excited as she asked questions. Her support made me think more about my feelings for her. The conversation lasted a long time since we had nothing to do other than this, and I felt myself relaxing after a long few weeks.
We cleaned up together and toasted with our cider since we’d forgotten to at dinner.
“To playing family. It’s really nice,” Brea said. Ice ran through my veins. I was quiet while we washed dishes and Elle slept. I tried to form the right words in my head. When we were done, I checked to see that Elle was out and offered Brea my hand.
We went out onto the balcony and I left the screen open so we could hear the baby cry. Brea loved living near the ocean. The wind blew her loose skirt around her knees as I watched her pale skin. I knew Brea felt like she needed to lose more weight since giving birth, but I thought she was beautiful. She sipped the cider again, seemingly lost in thought as I watched her.
I realized how little I’d been here lately as I did. All the memories of seeing her and Elle were just flashes of them sleeping or Brea struggling to stay awake to feed her. I felt bad and tried to find a compromise with the center. I was a control freak when it came to things like that. I needed to be in charge, but I could shave off a few hours for my family.
My family.
“I don’t consider this playing the part of a family,” I said abruptly. Brea slowly turned to look at me.
“What?” she asked as she leaned her back against the railing.
“You toasted to that in the kitchen.” I stepped forward, taking a sip of the cider before I placed the glass on the table beside me. I moved beside her and looked out at the dark beach for a moment. “This isn’t my house that I share with you; it’s our house. It always was. I wanted you to live with me before I asked you, Brea. I just didn’t know how to do it.”
“Really?” Brea asked. I looked at her and nodded. “Me, too.”
“I brought you here to get away, and when we talked about living here, I could see it so clearly in my mind. It was like a movie, and I started looking at places immediately, knowing it was going to be a rush job even without Elle arriving early. I didn’t have time to go see a lot of houses, but I knew what I wanted and my friend pulled through for me. This seemed perfect, being right on the water and big enough to add to our family. This is real to me.” Her eyes darkened in the light from the living room as I glanced at Elle. “This house is perfect for our lives.”
“I think so as well.” She seemed to be waiting for something else, and I felt my mouth go dry as I reached for the glass again.
We both heard Elle crying, and I licked my lips before I kissed Brea softly. I walked into the house and lifted Elle into my arms, a wave of emotion washing over me. She was so little and dependent on us. I secured her with my arms as I walked back outside to Brea.
“I know this started as an idea to get some money and some freedom.” I handed Elle to Brea as she moved to sit down while staring intently at me. She pulled the buttons loose on her dress and released her breasts, and I felt a stirring in my pants. I hadn’t touched her in so long.
I watched as she lifted our daughter to her and leaned back as Elle started to nurse.
“You’re such an amazing mom to her. You’re so sexy and beautiful, Brea. I can’t breathe sometimes when I look at you with her, but everything is moving so fast. Everything is happening in flashes of moments with us and I don’t know how to slow it down.”
I dropped to the chair in front of her as she looked at me. I leaned forward and covered her lips with mine as heat flowed between us.
“This became so much more than just an arrangement to me, so fast. I wanted to hold you in my arms after you were already pregnant and feel your body wrapped around me as more than a duty. I enjoyed making love to you from the very first time.”
I watched her shiver as she heard my words, and I placed my hand over Elle in her hands.
“I wanted you the first moment I saw you. I haven’t stopped thinking back to that fucking party when you walked in, all beautiful and breathtaking. I couldn’t stop looking at you, and then we talked and danced. I asked you out and I don’t know what happened; we decided to move forward with Elle. I don’t know what changed, but I didn’t want anything to change at all. I wanted you more than anything, but money changed things for us.”
“I know it did. I knew that it meant a lot to you to get the inheritance and work on the center, and God knows that the loans were making it hard for me to sleep at night. I had no idea what I was going to do before you, Ryan. I agreed to it too. Maybe I pulled away,” Brea whispered as she stared at me sadly.
“I don’t know. I think that her coming early scared us both and then I brought you to the house. It was a lot of new for you to take in,” I said, and she smiled.
“I was so happy that day, so in shock. I was also scared and unsure if I could handle being a mom, but you were here for me. You were so attentive.” She smiled at me again as I stared at her. “Then I was so proud of you for getting the center going and it made me cry for my dad so many times. It made me miss you while you were doing such a good thing with the money we had earned together. I felt selfish for wanting you home when you gave me so much. How many women would trade places with me? I just tried to focus on Elle.” Brea shrugged as she switched breasts, and we both supported Elle, wrapped in a blanket.
“This life means everything to me, Brea. I have never been happier with anything than I am with Elle, and you are the only person I want to share that with.” I paused, knowing what I could say to her next as I looked at her. Her eyes were bright as she stared at me, letting Elle slide down as she licked her lips.
“Let’s get her to bed,” Brea suggested throatily, and I felt my cock respond. We both stood, and she led the way upstairs as I locked up and started to unbutton my shirt on the way upstairs.