Chapter 34

Brock

It was a slow day at the office. The phone hadn’t rung once and I had nothing to do. I had reviewed the proposal several times. It was a sit-and-wait game to see if the seller would accept the terms of the offer I’d put in. I had already scanned the MLS and the foreclosure reports. Nothing. Nothing that sparked my interest. I doubted anything could excite me at this point. I was in a funk. I knew it was because of what had happened yesterday. I didn’t like waiting for Ashley to make a decision. I shouldn’t have given her that kind of power.

I doodled on a piece of paper before giving in. I wasn’t feeling it, and I could tell Anna was preoccupied as well. I had tried to make small talk with her earlier, but she had been distant, as if there were about a million things on her mind and I wasn’t one of them. There was no point in both of us sitting in the office being miserable if there was nothing to do. I needed to break free and had a feeling it would do Anna some good as well.

I walked out to the desk where she was sitting and staring out the window. “Anna?”

“Hmm?” she asked without looking away from whatever had caught her eye.

“Want to get out of here?”

She blinked and turned to look at me. “What?”

“I don’t want to be here. It doesn’t look like you want to be here. There is nothing on the calendar. I say we close up and take the rest of the day off.”

“I can’t afford to miss the hours,” she replied. “What did you need me to do? I didn’t realize I was supposed to be doing something.”

“Nothing. That’s the point. There isn’t anything to do—nothing that can’t wait another day,” I said.

She eyed me with suspicion. “Are you planning to sneak off with my sister?”

“No,” I said vehemently. “Definitely not.”

“What if someone calls?”

“They’ll leave a message. I’ll check the messages throughout the day.”

She didn’t look convinced. I wasn’t sure why I was having to try so hard to convince her to take the day off.

“I’ll pay you for the day. I just want to get out of here. Let’s close up and go. We’ll play hooky, go shopping, sleep, watch a movie. We’ll do whatever it is you would do on a day off.”

She grinned. “I don’t think you can play hooky since you’re the boss, but I’ll be happy to go along with it if you’re going to pay me.”

Finally. “Good. Then I say we are taking a mental health day.”

“Works for me,” she said, turning off the computer.

I went back into my office, grabbed my laptop and phone, shut off the lights, and off we went.

“Have a good day,” she called out as she headed down the street. “I’ll see you tomorrow, unless you want to pay me for not working again.”

“Not a chance. Take it easy today,” I said before getting in my truck.

I sat in the front seat with the AC blowing and debated what I wanted to do. I wasn’t in the mood for a run. It was too hot and I didn’t have that kind of energy. I was battling a serious case of the doldrums. An idea sprang to mind. I grabbed my phone and called Helen. Her husband was at work and she was alone in her hotel room. I asked if I could visit and take her to lunch. She agreed.

I backed out and headed off to Morgantown. I didn’t realize how much I would miss Helen until she wasn’t there to talk to. She was more than my secretary. She was an excellent sounding board. I should pay her therapist wages. She was my personal counselor and always knew how to pull me out of these funks. I needed to see her to make sure she was okay with my own eyes. She had sounded a little down when I’d talked to her last Friday. She was dealing with far more serious problems than I was. I hoped I could be her shoulder to lean on.

The drive did me good. Hitting the open road was the best therapy. I pulled into Helen’s hotel and found her waiting in the lobby for me.

“Hi!” I said, wrapping her in my arms but being careful not to squeeze too tight. I knew she was still recovering from surgery.

“Hey, you. I’m so glad you called. I was going a little stir crazy in that room. I take it you were doing the same in the office?”

I grinned. She knew me too well. We had played hooky numerous times over the years. “I was. I needed to get out of there. What are you in the mood to eat?” I asked.

She shrugged her shoulders. “Anything. I start chemo next week. I figure I may as well eat now while I can hold it all in.”

“Mexican?”

Her eyes lit up. “You sure know your way to a girl’s heart.”

I laughed and escorted her out to my truck. I punched in a search on Google and found a restaurant.

“Fill me in on the latest gossip. I know Ashley saved the farm. Are you two still talking? Do you love her or hate her this week?” she teased.

I rolled my eyes and threw my hands in the air. “I have no idea. The woman is hot and cold. I suppose you’ve heard about my son?”

She smiled. “I have. Congratulations. It’s a boy!”

I laughed. “I think that’s about five years too late, but thank you. He’s a great kid. Super smart, funny, and he calls me dad,” I gloated.

“Good. He should. Does that mean you and Ashley are getting along?”

“No. It means nothing of the sort. Like I said, hot and cold. One minute we’re happy, spending time together and enjoying each other’s company, and the next she is telling me to stay away and not to call.”

Helen tilted her head to the side. “I’m sorry, Brock. That’s tough. I know you love her.”

I groaned. “I do. I hate that I do. I don’t know why I can’t just forget about her and move on.”

“Because she’s the one. Everyone knew the two of you were destined to be together the moment you met in the third grade. You may have moved away, but when you came back, you caught her eye and she caught yours.”

“Well, I’ll close my eyes the next time she’s around. I’m done. I’m over it. I don’t want to play the on-off game anymore. Neither does she,” I said.

“You can’t say you’re done. You’re not. It’s fate for you to be together. Unfortunately, fate can be a real bitch sometimes.”

I nearly choked on the drink of water I had just taken. “Helen!”

“It’s true. Look at me. I’ve never smoked or drank. I lived a completely healthy lifestyle and I have cancer. You tell me fate isn’t a cold, mean-spirited bitch.”

“I’m sorry, Helen. It isn’t fair. How’ve you been feeling?”

“Good as can be I suppose. I’m not looking forward to the chemo, but the oncologist assures me I caught it early enough that I have a good chance of recovering. When he was in there chopping off my lady parts, he removed a few lymph nodes as well.”

I nodded, unsure what else to say. I hated that she had to go through all of this.

“How long do they think you need to stay here?”

“The doctor says he wants me close for the first couple treatments. If I tolerate it well enough, I can go home and drive back here every two weeks.”

“Good. It will be nice for you to be able to sleep in your own bed.”

“How’s Anna working out?” she asked.

“Good, actually, but don’t worry, the job is still yours. I will hold it for you forever. Don’t feel like you need to rush back, though. I want you to get well.”

There was a look of sadness in her eyes. “Brock, I don’t know if that time will come. It could be a few months or even longer.”

“That’s okay. I can wait. You are too good to let go. And Anna’s pregnant,” I blurted out.

“I hope you’re not going to tell me it’s yours.” She narrowed her eyes at me.

“No. God, no. That woman terrifies me. I meant she’s pregnant so she isn’t going to be there forever either. I’ll ask if she wants to move to full time while you are out. Hopefully you’ll be back by the time she has the baby.”

“I hope so, too. I certainly don’t want to be out of commission that long.”

The waiter took our order and we turned the discussion to lighter topics while we waited for our food. I could see she was tired. I imagined she must have been under a great deal of stress, and being here all alone had to be rough. Her husband had to go home to keep working.

After we ate, I took her back to the hotel. When I asked if she needed anything, she said she had all she needed and then I headed on home.

I was glad I’d gotten to see her and spend some time with her, but I hated seeing her so unwell. She had to get better. I couldn’t imagine my life without her in it. The ride home wasn’t quite as enjoyable as the trip over. I couldn’t get what Helen had said out of my head.

Were Ashley and I destined to be together? What if the only way we could be together was the way were now? I couldn’t keep going like that. I needed stability. I needed to know we had a relationship and were going to be there for each other no matter what. I didn’t like the uncertainty. Hopefully fate wasn’t quite as cruel as Helen had indicated. I didn’t want to be on this hamster wheel Ashley and I had been stuck on any longer. What if that was what fate had in store for us?

I got home and walked through my empty house. I picked up a little, but it wasn’t like the place ever really got messy. I was the only one who lived here and I wasn’t exactly a slob. It didn’t take much to put a couple dishes in the dishwasher or run a load of laundry. I knew most people with busy households probably wouldn’t agree with me, but I actually kind of wished there was someone around to make a mess now and then. It would make the house feel lived in instead of just a place I slept at night.

After kicking around the house, I went to bed. As I lay there, listening to nothing, I wished like hell I had a family in the house. I wanted Ashley beside me and Jasper down the hall. I wanted to wake up in the morning to chaos as we all rushed to get ready for our day. I wanted to hear the sound of laughter and conversation in general.

I drifted off to sleep, thinking about the many what ifs and what could have been. Despite what Helen had said, I wasn’t sure Ashley and I were meant to be together. It was a youthful romance that had dissolved. There were still some lingering feelings on both sides, but deep down, I had to accept that it was likely for the best if we moved on. There was too much water under the bridge.