CHAPTER 14
Brea
I wiped down the counter as I took a deep breath, feeling the baby move inside me. She was particularly active today, and that was without any caffeine coursing through my veins.
I was a big fan of juice drinks now.
The pregnancy was no longer a secret. I was showing too much to try to hide it now, and besides, people saw me with Ryan and did the math. I played it off like we were dating, and it was a surprise to everyone except Lucy.
Stacy was angry that I hadn’t told her before she’d moved out, but I reminded her how caught up she had been with her own boyfriend. I also tried to pretend that we hadn’t known for a while. She didn’t let a single thing go and asked me questions every day.
When did I find out I was pregnant? I told her it was just before she moved out and I had been in so much shock that I hadn’t wanted to ruin her good mood. In my story, Ryan and I had been very careful and this was a complete surprise for both of us. It took some adjustment, but we were both eager to become parents.
I didn’t add that we hadn’t been great friends to begin with.
She asked if Ryan and I were considering marriage. I told her we were just dating for now, as we would have in any normal situation. I liked him and I knew he’d make a great father, but I wasn’t looking at him as husband material yet.
So many lies.
Was he going to ask me to move in with him, or were we going to split time with the baby? I told her that hadn’t even been discussed yet since it was true. I was a little worried about how it was going to work since the baby would need me so much at first, especially if I was able to nurse successfully. We spent so much time together that I was sure it wouldn’t be a problem. He’d just be at my place or I’d be at his.
Stacy asked these questions mostly when we were alone since I reminded her we were working around other people, thank God. I was nervous about someone saying the wrong thing to the wrong people. Even though Mike was already not pleased that the baby was a girl, I didn’t want to rock the boat.
Would it affect Ryan’s inheritance—even though he might not get it anymore? I still felt guilty about Ryan’s dad’s actions, but I knew it wasn’t my fault. There was nothing anyone could do about the baby’s gender. I heard you could control it with certain positions, but we had been hardly thinking about that at the time.
I didn’t even know if I believed that myth anyway. I just knew Ryan had magic sperm and wondered if he’d want a boy once we had our daughter.
Would he try for that money with me or possibly another woman? The thought hurt me. I liked him in my life. Stacy was working with me today, and we were in between shift changes.
“So, you’re still sleeping together?” she asked. I looked around quickly and then nodded. “Is it just sex because you’re already pregnant? He could still have a disease.”
There was no way I could go into that. “We’re careful. I don’t know his past, but he said he gets tests a lot. He’s fine.” I took a deep breath. “The pregnancy hormones make me so restless. He’s there and why not? I’m not the kind of girl to sleep around.”
“I guess if I would sleep with someone, it would be Ryan,” Stacy murmured. I shook my head.
Her boyfriend, Jake, was great, and I longed to be just a little bit like them. They knew they were in this for the long haul and were already living together. She was glowing from happiness. I knew I just looked stressed and tired. The experience at the ultrasound had really shaken me. I just couldn’t tell Stacy anything about it. The story had horrified Lucy when I’d told her.
“Do you regret getting pregnant?” Stacy asked me after a long silence. I paused and straightened the cups for a moment.
“It was a surprise, but no. I’m already attached to her and I know things will be fine. It doesn’t have to end up in a marriage to still be a good thing. Life happens for a reason,” I told her flippantly as I felt her gaze on me.
“That phrase can be used to describe a lot of things, Brea. Getting pregnant accidentally isn’t one of them in my eyes. You have a fabulous guy who spends time with you and wants this baby, yet you’re keeping him at arm’s length. Why?” Stacy asked. I stared at her. “You could have what so many girls want.”
“I should move in with Ryan and marry him because of the baby?” I asked, indicating my stomach. She shrugged. “I am seeing him. We’re friends and he’s going to be here for her. That’s enough for me.”
“What if he wants to give you more than that? What if he wants the whole package?” Stacy asked. I licked my lips nervously. I didn’t want to have this conversation with her.
We hadn’t talked about that. This was supposed to be something that would benefit both of us financially and allow us to pursue our dreams, just with a baby along for the ride. At times, I felt stupid for agreeing to this arrangement. Talking with Stacy was one of those times. I pushed that thought away and shook my head roughly.
“I think you’re going to look back someday and realize what you lost, Brea. I’m not saying this because he’s a billionaire, but because he cares about you. I can see it when he looks at you, and he hasn’t been seen with any other women since he started seeing you. Hell, he hasn’t even been seen with you. Not like the others at least.”
The media did get shots of us and speculate a lot, but everything was blurry and we said nothing to them. That was the deal.
I’d already noticed how limited his social life had become. He was never at any celebrity parties anymore. I’d seen Lewis pictured here and there, but it made sense that Ryan wasn’t around. He still wasn’t speaking to Lewis, which was another thing that bothered me.
“Maybe. Or we’ll just be great parents and friends. Nothing has to be decided today,” I shot back, feeling frustrated with Stacy. My hormones were all over the place and my sleep schedule was off. I felt like a hot mess right now.
Pregnancy was not about being happy all the time.
“Okay then.” Stacy held up her hands, and I sighed as I went to clock out. Rita wasn’t here yet, but we were slow and Stacy could handle things. Besides, Rita walked through the doors as I glanced up from the register. I grabbed my daily free drink and took it on the way out, shooting Stacy an apologetic look. She hadn’t deserved my outburst, but I’d apologize later. I smiled at Rita and walked outside, surprised to see Ryan leaning against his SUV. That explained the star-struck look on Rita’s face.
“Hi,” I said in surprise.
“I thought I’d take you home,” he told me. I bit my lower lip. “How do you both feel today?”
“Tired. She’s been going all day. Do you think she’s getting to the caffeine somehow?” I quipped, making him smile. He’d been wonderful the night before, cooking for me and rubbing my feet. The sex had been amazing as well.
“Let’s hope not. You need some sleep,” Ryan said as he reached for the door. “May I?”
“Sure,” I replied, sliding into the seat. I only lived a few blocks away, but today had taken a lot out of me. Maybe I could talk him into stopping for Thai food on the way home. “Are you hungry?” I asked hopefully, and he chuckled.
“What do you want?”
I mentioned the place close to my apartment. I’d had a snack at work, but I’d been dreaming about Thai food all day, or at least when I wasn’t busy dodging Stacy.
He parked at my place and we walked over there and ordered a few of our favorite dishes. I offered him some money, but he paid with an easy smile, making me assume that his father hadn’t taken everything away yet.
I led the way home and was surprised to see a box on my doorstep. I hadn’t ordered anything. Ryan offered to grab it for me if I held the bag of food. I watched as he leaned over. His ass looked so good, and I had to push my desire away.
I unlocked the door and we went inside, getting the food and box to the table. The box wasn’t addressed to me, and I frowned as I looked it over.
“Open it. I’ll plate the food for us and get something to drink.” Ryan sounded a little too eager, and I glanced at him and saw his smile.
“What did you do?” I asked as he walked into the kitchen. I opened the box, which held a package wrapped in soft pink paper that I tore softly before uncovering a box boasting the name of one of the most popular baby boutiques in town. “Ryan?” I asked. I opened it to see a tiny outfit folded up.
I took it out. It was a delicate pink onesie with a lacy tutu on the bottom, and my eyes filled with tears at the words on the front.
“Elle Marie?” I asked as emotion clogged my throat. He was wonderful, and a part of me did want to snatch him up and make him my husband. Ryan came back with silverware, plates, and a bottle of water shoved under his arm.
“I know we didn’t officially decide on a name, but you’ve brought that one up a few times. I liked it, and the middle name comes from my favorite grandmother. I thought we could honor her since neither of our moms is too close to us.”
“I think it’s beautiful,” I admitted as a tear slid down my cheek. I’d been thinking constantly about a name, and Elle was always the one in the lead. I looked at the outfit one more time, checking the size to see if it might be her coming home outfit. Which home, though?
“So do I,” Ryan said as he sat down and slid a plate that was filled with my favorites over to me. He had filled his with twice as much, and I laughed as I looked at him. “So, it’s a keeper?”
I chewed my bite and rubbed my belly. “Elle Marie Hall. It has a nice ring to it.” Surprise shot through his eyes as he tilted his head at me.
“We’re going with Hall, are we?” he asked. I shrugged.
“She’s an heir. She can decide what to do with the name later in life. Maybe she’ll marry and make him take her name.” The idea made me laugh as I thought about the little body inside me. She already seemed to dance to her own beat.
“You don’t want to go with Hall-Taylor or vice versa?” Ryan checked, and I shook my head.
“I know she’s my daughter, and I am not threatened by the idea of you taking her away. I’ve trusted you since the beginning for some reason.” I gave him a soft smile before I took another bite, happy to see him start eating his own food.
“I’d never think of it. She’ll need her mom, and I picked a great woman for that. You’re something to be admired, and I hope she takes after you,” Ryan told me, making me blush. “I mean it. You have a lot of drive in you. You’re kind.”
“I hope she takes after you,” I told him, meaning it in more ways than one. He was from a wealthy family that was clearly dysfunctional and cold, but he took excellent care of us. He was compassionate. The reason he so desperately wanted his inheritance was to help people.
He wasn’t some guy who wanted to travel the world and just live it up, though I knew he’d spoil Elle. She would see the world, and the idea made me smile.
Ryan was so good-looking that I hoped she would look like him, too. I was constantly wondering what she would look like. As I took another bite, I thought about the new 3D ultrasounds that gave a full view of the baby in the womb.
We cleaned up after the meal, and I carefully tucked the onesie into my dresser along with the other items I’d slowly been buying. Lucy was going to have a huge baby shower for me in a few months, and I’d agreed to register for things I thought I’d need, but I enjoyed shopping for my baby myself. I didn’t have a ton of money since Stacy had moved out, but I had a little bit saved.
I still had a few months before I had to start paying my school loans and had decided to do as much as I could for Elle. My mom was excited as well and had sent some care packages for me. I wouldn’t say we were closer or anything, but she was doing her part.
As far as I knew, Ryan’s family had done nothing. We didn’t talk about it. I settled on the couch with Ryan to watch a movie, thinking about our future as I rested against his broad chest. Would this man grow bored with our arrangement once Elle was here? Would he move on to someone else? Maybe to finally get that male heir? I knew he’d always be here for Elle, but the idea of him just picking her up and dropping her off without spending any time with me broke my heart.