Chapter 25
Hanna
“I have something to admit,” I said. I couldn’t keep up this charade about my period much longer. I had lied to him and I knew it was wrong. I knew if I just told him, he would understand. I’d taken so many birth control pills that it made me sick, so all I had to tell him was I’d taken some medication that was making me ill. I didn’t need to tell him I was on my period. I could trust Kason.
Mostly, I thought.
“What’s up?” he asked.
I looked up into his eyes and felt like absolute shit. How was I going to tell him that the medication was my birth control? How was I going to tell him what was happening to me and my body?
How was I going to tell him I was scared?
“Hanna, you’re worrying me,” he said.
“I just…”
I sat up in his lap and wrapped my legs around his waist. He pulled me as close as he could get me. He brushed the hair from my face and my dizzied head kicked in again. So I laid my head on his shoulder and started to breathe deeply.
“Would you like a massage for your cramps?” he asked softly.
I groaned. “I’m not on my period.”
He stiffened and stopped moving. For a second, I thought he was going to push me away. I thought he was going to throw me off, get angry, call me a liar, and then kick me out. I thought I would be left alone, forced to explain to my mother why Kason was so pissed.
But instead he took my shoulders in his hands and pulled me out to look at him.
“Hanna, are you pregnant?” he asked.
“No,” I said. I mean, it was the truth. I wasn’t actually pregnant. I just had a really bad feeling about not taking my birth control for a few days before taking them all at once.
“You’re not lying to me?” he asked.
“Of course not,” I said.
“Then what’s wrong?”
“I…um…”
I stared deep into his eyes and knew I couldn’t tell him. I couldn’t risk him running away from me, not when we were getting so close. Being in his arms like this felt so natural and real, like I was born to be right here with his pants hanging around his knees. But I could see he was getting impatient. I had to come up with something that was as close to the truth as I could get.
Maybe I’d have my period soon and then we could move past this issue anyway.
“Hanna,” he said sternly.
“So you know how we talked about not actually doing the whole ‘deal’ thing?” I asked.
“Yeah?”
“And you know how I agreed to table the baby talk?”
Kason nodded. “Yeah?”
“Well, I got paranoid, I guess, so after our greenhouse encounter I took some of the money I saved up working on campus and went and got the morning after pill.”
He was staring at me as intently as I’d ever seen, and I still thought he might get upset with me. But instead, all he did was continue to ask questions.
“Did you miss your pill or something?” he asked.
“That day, yeah. I swear to god, Kason, I didn’t realize it. It wasn’t intentional and I didn’t notice it until that morning when I went to take my pill and saw I was behind one. So, I went to the drugstore on the other side of downtown—”
“You drove 45 minutes? Shit. Hanna, why didn’t you call me? I would’ve taken you. How much was it? I’m gonna reimburse you.”
“Wait. What?” I asked.
“I should’ve gone with you, Hanna. Don’t you ever do something like that again when it concerns me. Do you understand?”
I stared at him in disbelief. He was upset because I hadn’t told him. He was upset because he hadn’t gone with me. Shit, I should’ve told him the truth.
The fuck was wrong with me?
“Okay.” I nodded.
“The pill’s making you sick, isn’t it?” he asked.
I nodded. “A bit.”
He held me in his arms, and I wrapped my arms around his neck. He stood up with me and stepped out of his jeans. When he took me over to his bed, I could already feel his dick growing between my legs again. I giggled into the side of his neck, and he peppered my cheek with kisses. When we lay down, I ran my hand through his hair.
“God, you’re so beautiful. Why didn’t you just tell me that from the beginning?” he asked.
“I thought you’d be upset with me or maybe think I forgot on purpose.” I shrugged.
“I would’ve given you the benefit of the doubt, Hanna. I know you.”
“I know, I know…”
“Give me more credit next time,” he said.
“I can do that.”
“So…” Kason drawled. “Since you’re not on your period…”
“Uh huh.” I smirked.
“I figured we could, uh…”
He trailed his fingertips up my leg, and both of them fell apart for him in an instant. His touch set my skin on fire, and I could feel my clit pulsing between my legs. He massaged the insides of my legs and I bit back my moans. When his fingers parted my pussy lips, I felt my juices spill out onto his bed.
“So wanting for me,” he said.
His fingertips slowly slipped inside me, and all at once my body gave itself over to him. He pumped me until my wetness covered his fingers. Then he slid up to my clit and slowly began to circle it. I bucked into his hand, and he covered his lips with mine, swallowing my moans so our parents wouldn’t hear us from outside.
“We have to be quiet,” he murmured against my lips.
My hands threw themselves into his hair, and I pulled him on top of me. My body was rolling into his and his fingers were working my clit so well, but I needed him more than I ever had. I needed to know he would still be with me through this. I needed to feel him fill me up in only the way he could. I needed to forget about what was happening. I needed the pounding of my body to rid me of the dizziness and nausea I felt because of my gaffe this morning.
“God, Kason. Yes.” I breathed into his lips.
He removed his fingertips just before I threw myself over the edge and slipped into me without a second thought. I buried my face into the crook of his neck so his skin could catch my sounds. He set a slow tempo while he planted his hands beside my head. I clung to him as closely as I could while my legs shook around his waist. All at once, the sickness I felt fled from my body. With every pump, my body shook with electricity, and his groans vibrated my skin while he tried to keep himself quiet.
“You feel so incredible,” he murmured.
“You fill me so perfectly, Kason,” I whispered. “Please, don’t stop.”
“I don’t intend to,” he said. He pulled back and looked deep into my eyes, and all at once, the world stopped. My heart thudded heavily in my chest and my breasts stood at attention for the beautiful man floating above me. Stacey’s question ricocheted in my head, and for a split second, I tried to shake it off.
I tried to ignore how real it felt.
But I knew I couldn’t deny it any longer.
I had feelings for Kason. Strong ones.
“Oh, Kason,” I whispered. I cupped his cheek, and he turned his lips to kiss my palm. Then he slowly started up his thrusts again. But this time, they were more wanton. This time, they were more desperate.
This time, they were much heavier and louder.
We threw his covers over our bodies while our panting breaths intermingled with one another’s. His dick sank into me and grew in size with every stroke, and my pussy walls clamped down around him while that slow burn in my pelvis slowly began to grow. We were swallowing back our sounds and digging our fingernails into each other’s bodies, and suddenly, my body began to tremble.
“Come for me, Hanna. Come for me and soak my balls in your smell.”
“Fuck, Kason. Oh, god. I’m so close. I’m so close. I’m—yes. I—”
My eyes rolled into the back of my head and my body trembled as he sank his hips into mine. He rolled deeply into my body while I shook beneath him. When his dick finally twitched inside me, he sank his teeth into my shoulder and grunted into my skin. This was the first time he had ever come multiple times for me, and I smiled and sighed in sweet surrender as my body collapsed on his bed in a fit of pleasure. I was humming for him and my heart was thudding in my ears while he peppered my neck and cheek with kisses before he captured my lips in a long, deep kiss.
“Hanna,” he said.
“Yeah?” I whispered.
He placed his forehead on mine and kept our bodies connected. His cock was slowly shriveling up inside me, but he didn’t dare move. We were trembling in each other’s arms, and his eyes were so heated with passion and indulgence. I honestly didn’t want to let him go.
No matter who found us.
“Come down behind me in ten minutes,” he choked out. He slowly slid out of me, and suddenly, I felt very empty. He gave me a kiss on my nose before he climbed out of bed, and for the first time since we’d started this little charade of ours, I felt unfulfilled. Used. He put his clothes back on and wandered down to the bathroom. When I saw him go down the stairs, I lay there and stared at the ceiling. I could feel him pouring out of me while tears rose to my eyes. It was at that very moment—alone in his childhood room—that I could admit to myself that I had more than just a crush on Kason.
And he would never feel the same.
“Damn it,” I whispered.
I waited ten minutes and then rolled out of his bed quietly. I shuffled to the bathroom and cleaned myself up with some tissues. I rearranged my clothes and splashed some water on my face. Then I slowly made my way downstairs.
“So, where did you two get off to?” Kason’s mom asked.
“Kason wanted to talk about a few things with my internship and schedule since I’ve gotten signed up for classes,” I said.
“Yeah, and I went ahead and called HR to give them her schedule so we didn’t schedule her during classes,” Kason added.
“He also wanted to try to talk me into a paid internship.”
“Hanna, you really should take him up on that offer,” my mother said.
“I’m thinking about it. I just don’t feel right with him hiring Marcus and everything.”
“I wouldn’t offer it to you if I didn’t think you deserved it,” Kason said.
“And like I said,” I said to him, “I’ll think about it.”
At that moment, Kason’s cell phone rang. He groaned and lobbed his head back before he picked it up. I could tell by the way he stormed out of the room that it was probably another business call. He said the name Brad and something about a prototype before he bounded up the steps, but he caught my eye just before he disappeared upstairs. Our mothers were back to gabbing and he winked at me knowingly, but all I could feel was a dangerous flutter in my chest.
My emotions were raging out of control, and that wasn’t good.
For anyone.