Chapter 11

Jessi

My alarm started blaring at five in the morning. It was the big day. The fashion show that could change the trajectory of my career. I stretched and groaned, listening for Caleb to see if he was awake yet. I stumbled into the bathroom and turned on the light, cursing how shitty I looked. The bags underneath my eyes were heavy, no doubt from all the energy it took to volley Chris in and out of my life. I had to wrap this up somehow. I knew I had him close enough to do some damage, and I was ready for it. I wanted him hurt, then I wanted him out of my life.

I took a quick shower and stepped out just as Caleb started waking up. I threw my hair up into a messy wet bun and dried myself off quickly, then threw on some loose clothes. My mother would be coming over any minute to take Caleb for the day so I could give my nanny the day off. I always tried to do that for her. To give her the weekends off. Sometimes I couldn't help needing her on Saturdays, but I made it a rule not to need her on Sundays.

My mother wasn’t normally my go-to choice, but after all the late nights my nanny had put in this week, she deserved the day off.

I sat Caleb in his high chair as a knock came at the door. I opened it and saw my mother smiling, though she looked pretty tired.

“Did you go to that release party, Mom?”

“Yeah, but my question is, why didn’t you?’ she asked.

“I know Dad said the baby would be okay there, but I wasn’t comfortable with it. I heard how loud the music was, and he said there was alcohol there. That just isn’t the type of place I want my infant son to be.”

“I get that completely. I didn’t get there until later, but you know who I ran into?” she asked.

“Who?”

“Christopher. You remember him? Justin’s friend?”

Did I remember him? Was she fucking nuts? I cursed the fact that my ears perked up at his name. I hated the fact that I wanted to know what he was doing there. Had he been with someone else? Was he hanging all over another woman all fucking night?

I hated that I was already so invested in this conversation, just by the mere mention of his name.

“Christopher was there?” I said. “How is he doing?”

“He seems to be doing well. He and Justin were connected at the hip all night, just like old times.”

“I’m sure,” I said, with a smile. “I’m glad he enjoyed himself.”

“He seemed to. He really enjoyed the song your father’s new artist created. He wasn’t there for long, though. Left around the time your brother did.”

I felt relieved that he hadn’t left with another woman. Then cursed myself for feeling that way. I was supposed to be playing him, not getting jealous because he was with someone else. It shouldn't matter to me who he was with. He was nothing. Just some idiot that broke my heart and left me high and dry.

I shouldn’t give a shit what he was doing.

“Did you have a good time?” I asked.

“Oh, these things get old after a while. But I’m a co-owner in the business so it doesn’t look good if I don’t show up. You know how your father is sometimes,” she said. “But don’t you worry about little Caleb here. I’ll bring him to the show tonight so he doesn’t miss his mommy’s big show. We wouldn't want that, would we? No we wouldn’t. Mommy’s gonna look so pretty, isn’t she Caleb?”

She sat down and started feeding Caleb as my heart sped up. They were coming? To the show? Were all of them coming? I didn’t have a contingency plan for this. I didn’t understand this was going to be a family affair. It was only another show. I’d done plenty of them in my career for them to come see. Why was this one suddenly so important?”

I tried to push everything from my mind as I kissed Caleb’s head. I hugged my mom tight and thanked her for everything, then told her not to bother about the show. If Caleb was cranky or gassy, it wouldn’t hurt my feelings at all if he didn’t show up.

But that didn’t deter them from coming.

The fashion show went well. All of the outfits I was in drew everyone’s attention and there was a ton of press there my manager was trying to field. Cameras were going off in every direction and my body was covered in flashes. Christopher was backstage, trying to make sure we all remembered the changes made to the routine. But each time I caught his eye I could see him linger on me a little longer than the rest.

Served him fucking right.

I walked down the aisle in six different outfits. That meant potentially thousands of pictures that would be posted everywhere for the world to see. From magazines to tabloids to people’s personal social media accounts. Not to mention I’d get formal and professional copies of everything to post on my accounts to link back to the designer. I’d be able to leverage all of this into a substantial growth in my career, and my manager felt the same way.

“You were phenomenal,” he said. “Fucking fantastic.”

“Thanks, Pierre,” I said, with a broad smile.

“I’m working with the designer to secure you three of those outfits in particular. Your Instagram account has over two million followers, right?” he asked.

“Three million as of last night.”

“Holy. Shit. Perfect. And Twitter?”

“Three and a half,” I replied, with a grin.

“I’m going to leverage your outreach to get you some of those outfits. You’ll have to wear them somewhere and post pictures, but it’ll all be free and will get you a great deal of exposure in the process.”

“Make sure the designer re-blogs and re-tweets things. This kind of exposure is necessary for a career like mine. We have to ride this momentum,” I said.

“I love working with you. Fabulous, beautiful, and business savvy in your industry. I’ll be right back.”

Pierre took off to field more press as my family came around the corner. Mom was carrying Caleb while Dad and Justin walked behind her. I embraced them all and took Caleb from my mother’s arms, hoping to heaven and high water that Chris didn’t find us.

Because if he did, I’d have to tell him I had a child.

“You were fantastic, sweetie. So beautiful in all those outfits,” my mother said.

“I liked that high-waisted skirt you wore. The one with the bow? Fantastic on you,” my father said.

“The evening gown was really nice, too. What was it—red and brown?” Justin asked.

“The one with the gold shimmer? Yeah, that was my favorite outfit, too. Pierre’s doing his thing right now with the designer. I hope that’s one of the outfits he can get me,” I said.

“I’m sure he won’t have a problem with it.”

I felt the hairs on the back of my neck stand up as Chris came around the corner.

“You did a good job today,” Chris said.

“Thanks,” I said. “The choreography seemed to go over well, too.”

“Christopher?” my mother asked. “I didn’t know you were here.”

“Of course he is. He’s the one that choreographed the show,” my father said. “Didn’t you know that?”

“Why didn’t you tell me that this morning, sweetie?” my mother asked.

I could feel my brother’s eyes on my face as I tried to swallow my nerves.

“I was tired. Couldn't have any coffee this morning and risk sweating in the middle of the limelight,” I said. “Plus, I was running behind. I didn’t have a lot of time to talk about dad’s party last night.”

“You missed a good one,” Justin said.

“Who’s baby is this?” Chris asked.

I turned my gaze to him as his eyes bounced between my face and Caleb’s.

“He’s mine of course,” I said plainly.

I watched his face drop as he parted his lips to speak. I tried to act as cool as possible, though I could tell my family was curious about the interaction. I nodded my head and turned away from him before he got a chance to ruin everything in one fell swoop. And in true Pierre form, he arrived at the perfect moment.

“Good news, Jessi. I got you four of those outfits. The shirt—but not the blouse, the evening gown, the jumpsuit, and the bathing suit with that wrap you wore,” he said.

“Oh, that thing was so comfortable. Thank you, Pierre,” I said.

“I’ll send you the terms of the agreement and have the clothes shipped to your place.”

“You’re a doll. Thank you so much.”

“But you might want to use the back exit. The press is stuffed in the front waiting for you, and with little Caleb here, I figured you wouldn’t want to talk to anyone.”

“Caleb?” Chris asked.

I turned my gaze to him one last time as Caleb shuffled around in my arms.

“I should really get him home, you guys. It’s been a long day and after all this excitement, he’s probably ready for a nap,” I said.

Kissing everyone’s cheeks, we said our goodbyes and they embraced me tightly. My gaze found Chris one last time and I could see the swirl of questions in his mind. His eyes looked down onto Caleb one last time before I turned around, trying to keep my cool and stand my ground as my heart thundered in my chest.

Why the hell did I feel so guilty? Why was I so scared of what he would think? He was the one that left. He was the one that changed his number without ever giving me a way to contact him. He was the one that left us all high and dry without any idea of what had happened to him.

But the confusion in his eyes was stuck in my mind, and I couldn't figure out why.