Chapter 36

Christopher

I sat at the table, waiting for Justin to arrive. Now that I knew what was really going on, we needed to talk. There was too much animosity flowing between us and I wanted it gone. I wanted to squash whatever the hell this was and move forward for the sake of everyone involved.

Including Caleb.

I swirled my straw in my drink as I sat and waited. I’d arrived a few minutes early to make sure I could gather my thoughts. There were so many things I wanted to say. So many things I wanted to establish. I wanted to tell him that it was beyond inappropriate to approach me the way he did at my home. To come at Jessi and I with Caleb in the car like he had. To corner the mother of my child in front of her own damn apartment, because he needed answers then and there and wouldn’t stop until he got them.

And I planned on addressing all of it.

The chair in front of me pulled out and it ripped me from my trance. Justin sat down hard in it, his eyes locked onto mine. The waitress came over and he placed his drink order, then he turned his attention back to me.

“You wanna start? Or should I?” Justin said.

“I know,” I said.

I watched Justin’s face slowly fall as the waitress sat his drink in front of him.

“Jessi told me a few days ago,” I said. “And the first thing I want to say is that I’m going to be there for my son, no matter what. No matter what my relationship is with you or Jessi, I’m going to be there like mine never was.”

“That’s—good,” Justin said. “Jessi deserves that.”

“And so does Caleb,” I said. “But I have a lot of things I want to say to you, so you’re going to sit there and listen.”

“I’m all ears.”

“Coming to my home the way you did and throwing down because of your anger was inappropriate, at best. You involved neighbors in a personal issue I wasn’t even aware of. You fought an unfair fight and you punched your best fucking friend. I want you to know that the next time your anger gets the best of you and you come for me like that you’ll be leaving in a fucking ambulance.”

I watched Justin nod as he drew in a deep breath.

“I eventually figured out that the entire moment at my house was because you cornered your sister at her apartment. Your sister, dude. The mother of my damn son. You cornered her like a rabid animal and forced her to admit to things that, for whatever reason, she wasn’t ready to come clean with. I’m not okay with that. You’re her brother. You’re supposed to protect her.”

“She was hiding something from me. From all of us,” Justin said.

“And that was her choice. That doesn’t mean you get to force your way in and scare her into talking. Bullies do that, and that shit won’t happen again. Not while I’m around,” I said.

“Anything else?”

“Yes. When we came back from the park and you were there unannounced? That shit stops now. Caleb was in the fucking car. My son was in the car. He watched his uncle berate his mother and father out of nothing but possessive anger. If you’re pissed that Jessi and I slept together while we were younger, you take that up with us. You call, you set up a time to meet, and you talk. Like the adult you are. This isn’t high school. You don’t get to corner people in the hallway and loom over them like some fucking bully. You did that shit in front of Caleb, and so long as I’m in my son’s life I will always be the barrier you have to get through in order to do that again. I will lay you out if you ever do that again. To Jessi or in front of my son. Understood?”

Justin looked off to the side as he snickered and shook his head.

“So it’s true,” he said.

“What’s true?” I asked.

“You’re in love with my sister.”

“I’m not following.”

“You accuse me of being possessive, but look whose talking.”

“She carried my son. She has single-mom’d it all this time, but she’s not doing that any longer. She’s got help. She’s got me. As a provider and as a protector,” I said.

“Do you love her?” he asked.

“Why do you keep asking me that?”

“Because I’m her brother and I listened to her cry endlessly for nights on end when you left. And maybe I was too stupid to put the pieces together then, but I’m not now. My sister was crying over you. While she was pregnant with your kid. So I’m here not as your friend, but as her brother. So how do you feel about my sister?”

“Honestly? I don’t know. I’m still upset with her for hiding this as long as she did. I’ve been in town for six weeks and around her and Caleb for most of it and I only figured out four or five days ago that the kid I’ve been around is my son. My flesh and blood,” I said.

“Can you really blame her?” he asked.

“Maybe not, but that doesn’t stop me from being upset about it. I can’t answer your questions until I can figure out my own complex feelings towards this situation. But that doesn’t mean I didn’t have some things that needed to be laid out with you.”

“So—what? You guys gonna pass Caleb off every other weekend?” he asked.

“That arrangement is still for Jessi and I to work out, but we’re getting there. She’s invited me over every night to be there after work and I plan on being there. We’ll take it one step at a time. She says she needs most of the help in the evenings, so that’s where I’ll be.”

“Can’t fault you for that,” he said. “But whether you decide to co-parent apart or together, it can’t be wishy-washy. You wanna talk about what’s best for Caleb? Having two parents that respect one another is best for him. Sort out your shit, then toss it to the side. Jessi had to suck down a lot of shit from Mom and Dad when she was pregnant. You have no idea the things that happened. The fights that broke out. The things that were said. If she can get through that, you can suck down some anger about not knowing for six weeks.”

I bit down on the inside of my cheek as I picked up my drink.

“I know,” I said.

“You get to be angry, just like she was. You get to be confused, just like she was. But what you don’t get to do is hold anything back from her while complaining she’s doing the same thing.”

“What?” I asked.

“Come on, Chris. Don’t be stupid. None of us know why you really took off. I knew your family dynamic was shit and that probably had something to do with it, but I don’t know specifics. And honestly? I don’t really care. You look okay and you turned out all right and I got my fucking best friend back. But Jessi? She gave birth to your child. She did all that shit alone. All the growing pains and the cravings and the sickness and the sleepless nights. All the labor and the recuperating and the first poops and the late night feedings. All of it, by herself.”

“She won’t have to anymore,” I said.

“And that’s fine. Great. I applaud you for it. But you’re sitting here bitching about her not telling you about Caleb when I know damn good and well you haven’t told her why you left in the first place. And if anyone deserves the answer to that question, it’s her.”

Shit.

Justin was right.

“Stop holding Jessi to a double fucking standard. Because there are a lot of things you laid down you wouldn’t allow me to do, but there’s one thing I won’t allow you to do.”

“And what’s that?” I asked.

“I won’t let you hurt her again,” Justin said.

“Justin, I have no idea how your sister even feels about me.”

“Then talk to her. The fuck you sitting here for? Go talk to her, man.”

“I’m here because we gotta clear the air between us. I hate this shit. I want my friend back.”

“I never left. I got pissed at you and all this bullshit flying around, but I didn’t leave. Not like you did. And I never will. But it’s time for you to put on your big boy pants, because right now you’re only playing the part of a man. You’re not actually being one.”

I locked my eyes with Justin as I pulled my phone from my pocket. I swiped at the screen and scrolled through my contacts as I watched Justin cross his arms over his chest. He leaned back in his chair as I dialed Jessi’s number, then I held the phone to my ear as our food was set in front of us.

“Chris?” she asked. “Is that you?”

“Hey there, Jessi.”

“How are you? I mean—are you okay?” she asked.

“I’m fine. I’m sorry for leaving the way I did. I wanted to get together and talk with your brother while it was still on my mind.”

“Is everything okay?” she asked.

“Everything’s fine,” I said with a grin. “I wanted to ask you something.”

“Sure. Go ahead.”

“Could we get dinner together tomorrow night?” I asked.

“Yeah. Sure. That’s fine. Any reason?” she asked.

“Can’t I take the mother of my child out for dinner?” I asked.

Justin grinned and shook his head as he reached for his sandwich.

“I—guess so,” Jessi said. “Let me call Marcia and make sure she’s free.”

“If not, I’m sure Justin won’t mind babysitting.”

Justin shot me a glare as a smile grew on my face.

“Let me call her, but I’m sure it’ll be okay,” Jessi said.

“Then I’ll pick you up tomorrow around six.”

I hung up the phone and stuffed it back into my pocket. Justin was still glaring at me as a chuckle fell from my lips. I picked up my sandwich and went to town, allowing the comfortable atmosphere with my best friend to return.

“Seriously? Volunteering me for babysitting duty? What if Roxy and I had plans for tomorrow?” he asked.

“You and Roxy got plans for tomorrow?” I asked.

“No, but that’s not the point.”

“Then consider it a gesture of me squashing this bullshit between us,” I said.

“Does this mean we can go back to getting drinks every Friday night again?” he asked.

“Depends on how things go with Caleb,” I said.

“Tuesday night?”

“Let me tackle one thing at a time and then we’ll get our beers back on schedule.”

“Hell, I’ll have them at your place if that’s more convenient. Your place is nice. I should know. I helped you put that shit together. That place sucked when we first found it.”

“It was a dump. But it’s not anymore,” I said.

“If things go really well with you and Jessi, you think you’ll move them in with you?”

I buried my smile at the thought of it as I took another bite of my sandwich.

“One step at a time,” I said. “We’ll figure it out as we go along.”