I needed to know why. There was no way I could placate myself into believing that I would be good getting by without knowing why she'd turned on me all those years ago. It was childish and stupid, and yet I couldn't get past all of it and actually find someone else until I understood what the fuck I'd done to deserve the dagger in my back.

The covers were much too warm the next morning as I lay in the darkness thinking about her. She might have been pissed about the kiss at the restaurant the day before, but she leaned into it, opened her sweet mouth up to me and let me penetrate her.

A groan left me as I slid my hand down my stomach and stroked myself once. I wanted her so damn bad it hurt, and yet there was no chance of having her without ruining Luke. The thought of betrayal was overshadowed by the need I had to claim her.

What did she look like naked now? How did she like to be fucked? Slow and deep? Hard and fast?

Visions blew through my mind of what it would feel like to hold her hips as she rode me slow and sensually. To reach up and palm her breasts before sitting up and taking care to worship her in any way she wanted me to.

I stroked myself again and moaned as I lifted my hips and trusted into my hand. How badly I wanted to run my hands all over her, touching every part of her and opening her up to pleasure like she'd yet to experience. My brother was a greedy lover from his fucked up stories, but me... I wanted her pleasure far more than my own - almost to a fault.

My stomach drew tight as I worked myself to the edge of orgasm and stopped, squeezing the tip of my cock and panting loudly in the dark.

What did she taste like? Would she let me lay back and enjoy the flavor of her on my tongue if I begged her to crawl up and spread her taut thighs for me? Let me drink her completely?

My heart raced in my chest as I could almost hear the deep, guttural sound of her moaning somewhere in the distance. She'd been timid as a girl, but I wasn't much better. Our one time together was awkward and embarrassing at best. It was a good thing we loved each other so damn much. We'd not have made it out of the bedroom without the other holding onto us.

But the sound of her voice, shaking as she whispered how much she loved me.

I groaned and thrust hard and fast, taking my pain out on my cock as I came over the edge and buckled as my body exploded. I pressed into my hand until I couldn't stand it anymore.

She wasn't a girl anymore, and I was almost assured that she wasn't in love with me, though I wanted to force her to be once again. Maybe it wasn't through the softer emotions like love that I could subtly win her back.

Maybe it was through the delicious tension of sex. Or was I over-thinking it? She was happy with Luke, right? But what if he was cheating on her? It would be my responsibility to tell her.

But would she even begin to believe me? Probably not. I needed to find out the truth first.

* * *

I was surprised to find Olivia and Zander already in the conference room, working through notes when I got to the office at a quarter till six. The laughter from the open door as I approached brought a warmth to me that I'd almost forgotten existed. I paused by the door and closed my eyes, staying out of sight as I listened to the sound of her laughter. I was a love-sick fool with no hope but to cover it up and suffer in silence.

Or steal my brother's girl. Both sounded like horrible ideas.

"He's actually a great guy though. He's a prankster." Zander laughed again.

"Is he? He seems like a good guy." Olivia's voice softened as if she were slipping into a memory. I wanted to save her from it.

"Don't give me too much credit." I walked in and winked at them. "You were talking about me, right?"

"Of course, boss." Zander walked to the door. "I'm getting coffee. It should be ready. You guys want some?"

"No," Olivia glanced up, "I drink-"

"Tea." I turned and looked at Zander. "Black Earl Tea with three sugars."

"Wow. You know your shit." Zander laughed and walked out.

"Still drinking old lady drinks?" I smiled and moved up beside her to review the slides on the open laptop next to her.

"You need to be careful or these people are going to figure out that there was something between us at one time."

"They should know by a ring on your finger." I shrugged and ignored her hard stare. All my plans of keeping things calm and on an even kilter with her flew out the window the minute I was next to her. "Nothing turned out like I'd planned."

"You were going to give me a ring?" The sound of her choking up caused me to stand up and turn to face her.

"Of course I was. I still have it." I smiled at the thought of how silly it looks compared to most rings the women at the firm wore. "It's incredibly small, but all I could afford back then. Your father didn't pay much for hauling hay, but I think he'd have been proud where I spent my money. How is he? How's your mom?"

She nodded and pressed her fingers to her eyes, wiping away a few tears. "Mom's good. Dad died my freshman year of college."

Sadness drove a spike deep into my chest. I'd had a closer relationship with Olivia's father than my own. Why hadn't I known he'd died? Why didn't Jake say something if no one else?

"I'm so sorry. Fuck. That's horrible. What happened?" I reached out and gripped her arms. "Hey, we don't have to talk about this. Ignore me. I'm just living in the past this morning."

"Cancer." She looked up and stole my breath with her beauty. It was another moment where I wanted to lean down and steal hers back with the passion of a long, probing kiss. I released her instead and turned back to the laptop.

"Wow. I'm so sorry, Olivia. I wish I'd have known. I would have come to the funeral."

"It's okay. It's for the better." She walked down to the other side of the room and sat down before flipping through a file. "Luke's doing introductions to start us off this morning, then you, and I'm wrapping it up. That sound okay with you?"

"Absolutely. Let's get some notes together on what parts each of us are covering, so we can make sure we don't trip over each other. Luke and I have our spiel down, but adding you to the mix is going to prove to be interesting."

"Where is the ring?" she asked softly.

I looked up and turned to watch her closely. "It's at my momma's house. In a little black box at the top of my closet. Unless she moved it, but you know she's far too into her soap operas to clean up anything. It's still there with dust all over it I'm sure."

"Can I see it?" She brushed her long blonde hair from her face as she watched me. Her expression didn't match up to her claims not to care for me anymore.

"Of course. When we go back home next week, I'll ride out there and get it. I'll show you when we get back here. Sound good?"

"Or maybe I can come out to your momma's house with you." She looked back down and started to work on something that looked like an outline.

"She'd like that a lot."

"Would she?" She laughed sardonically but didn't look up. "My mom would pull out daddy's shotgun on you."

"Would she? Your momma used to love me." I put my hands on my hips, feeling more like myself talking to her than I had in six years. She brought me back to the core of who I was at heart - a country boy trying to play like I wasn't. Never in a million years had I imagined myself wearing a suit, and yet here I was - in the middle of someone else's life.

"Used to. Past tense." She glanced up and smirked. "After all that shit our senior year, she wrote you off. You stole my innocence and condemned me to hell, remember?"

I couldn't help but chuckle as she did as well. "Then we're both going there. My parents were quite proud that we slept together. They figured if we were going to be together forever, then we might as well get started."

She balked. "No the hell they didn't. Your daddy might have, but not your momma."

"All right, you got me there. Mom grounded me from life for the last few months of our senior year, but it's not like it mattered. Losing you shut me down completely." I brushed my fingers across my lips. Were we getting into this now? Before this big presentation? I felt like I was skating on thin ice with steel-toed boots on.

"You losing me was your choice. Your actions closed the door on what could have been."

"I used to think you were going to be my wife, Olivia. The mother of my kids."

"Used to. Past tense." She glanced down and Zander walked back in the room, closing out the conversation completely.