I rolled over on the couch and pressed my fingers to my mouth, trying hard to keep myself from crying. What had he wanted me to do? Just let him fuck himself to death? Swallow the goddamn pill and have a heart attack right in front of me?

"Jenna. Let it go." Erik walked around from the kitchen and sat down on the edge of the coffee table beside me.

"You don't have to stay here, Erik. I'm fine. If the bitch comes for me, I'll kill her."

"I'm not staying here to babysit you. I'm staying until you're strong enough for us to finish this shit. It's not over until we say it's over."

I sat up and pushed my hair behind my shoulder as my tears dissipated. "Are you serious right now? Do you even know where she is?"

"Sure do. She's in a small house in the woods outside of town. We can be there in a few hours if you're ready." He tilted his head to the side, looking like beautiful death. Grace was in love with him for a reason, and I honestly couldn't blame her one bit. He was her Nate. Everyone deserved a love like that.

Everyone except me, apparently.

"I'm ready." I got up and walked toward the back of the house to change. "Do you think he'll come back to me?"

"No. Well, I don’t know for sure. He's not the kind of guy that can lose his pride and get over it that easily." Erik stopped outside the bedroom. "You changing?"

"Yes." I pulled my dress over my head and changed into a pair of jeans and a black shirt before pulling boots on my feet. "I would die for him, Erik."

"Good. You'll need to prove that before this shit will turn around."

"Why?" I walked out and moved past him, ignoring the deliciously dark scent of his cologne. Nothing mattered but Nate. "Haven't I done enough?"

"He thinks he hurt you. That he raped you." He moved toward the door and opened it.

"Then he's an idiot. I raped him if nothing else."

He snorted. "Let's tell him that. Actually, let me tell him. I'd love to break that news to him."

I smacked him in the chest and walked down the hall toward the elevator beside him. "In what world would I be hanging out with a mafia hitman on a Wednesday night?"

"In our world?" He offered me his arm. "I'm thinking if I keep impressing you with my boyish good looks and my charm that you'll set me up with Grace."

"You just want sex. I'm not doing that to my best friend. She's a good woman."

He moved into the elevator and held the door open for me. "I want you to do me a favor."

"What's that?"

"I want you to tell her how long you pushed me out of her bed the first time I get into it. She'll hate you for life."

My turn to laugh. "You're kidding me, right? You're not that good. Grace loves me."

"Maybe, but she's going to worship me." He licked his lips and closed his eyes. "So many things I'm going to do to her."

"She dresses like my grandmother." I moved through the open door and thanked the stars for our silly conversation. It kept me from thinking too much about where we were headed.

"Yeah, but sweet girls like her always dress like that. She's got something naughty under that bulky sweater and horrid skirt. And she wants to break free. I can see it all over her."

"You're disturbing." I glanced over at him, realizing that I was starting to like being around him. Maybe he and Grace should give things a try. Maybe.

"You love it." He opened the door to his black Jag and moved back. He closed the door and smiled as he walked around to the other side and got in. "Do you love him enough to go after him when we're done with Ashley?"

"Of course I do."

"Good. Then make him jealous. You like to dance, right?"

"Love it. You?"

"I'd rather kill a child."

"I'm not sure if that means you do or don't like dancing."

He chuckled. "Bitch."

* * *

"How do you know she's here, Erik?" I took the gun from his hand and took a shaky breath.

"We have eyes everywhere." He nodded toward the weapon. "Lift it up like you're going to fire it. I want to see how steady your grip is."

I lifted the gun and it bobbed around seeing that my hands were shaking so damn bad. "Ugh. I can't do this."

"Then I'll do it." He pointed his gun at my face and watched me. "See. Steady. I could care less about this bitch."

"Or you've just killed a million people and this girl is no different."

"Does it count that I've slept with her a handful of times?" He closed the car door and walked toward the small house tucked back in the woods.

"Gross. Has Nate... You know what? Don't answer that. I don't want to know."

“We fucked her together a couple of times. You know… when we were bored." He glanced over his shoulder and chuckled. "We could show you first hand if you-"

"Stop. Please. Gross."

"Us fucking her, or me wanting us to fuck you together?"

"Both." I reached out and slipped my arm into his. "I don't wanna fall."

"I'd catch you." He glanced over and winked.

"You're not nearly the bad ass you pretend to be, are you?"

"Oh, I'm a dick. I promise. I just like you. You remind me of my little sister. Makes me wanna be a little bit nice."

"Where is she?"

"Dead." He walked away from me and walked toward the house. I wanted to apologize, but it seemed like being quiet was the better option. Erik's story had to be beyond interesting, but I wouldn't be asking for the extended version. Too much death and dismemberment. Too much loss.

"Is she-" I started to whisper as Erik stopped and lifted his hand.

"Ashley is a cunning bitch, Jenna. She's going to be prepared for you. Watch your back just in case."

"Okay," I whispered. My heart almost stopped in my chest when he took off for the side of the house. "Erik! Where are you going?"

"Go in the front. I'm not here. Remember that."

"Shit." I walked toward the front door and tucked the gun in my back pocket. I didn't know how to break into a house, how to sneak into someone's place.

I knocked on the door and let out a long sigh. If it was my time to die, so be it, but the bitch was going with me.

She opened the door and stepped back with a surprised look on her face. "Wow. I figured you would come, but I remember you saying something about a knife in my back."

I stepped forward and punched her twice in the face, surprising myself a little. "Yeah, well, I left the cutlery at home. Forgive me."

"You sorry bitch." She reached for her back and I tackled her, knocking her to the ground as she screamed. I had to wrestle the gun from her hand and it went off twice before Erik walked in calmly.

"Stealth would be nice." He leaned against the wall.

"Shut up." I reached down and wrapped my hands around her throat. "You sorry bitch. Killing my brother and then you try and take Nate from me?"

"He'll never belong to you." She laughed as I tightened my hands around her throat.

"I could shoot her for you," Erik offered.

"I need to do this." I felt something inside me break. She was right. Nate wasn't ever going to be mine because of what happened. The light in his eyes died that night as if he'd truly become the monster the drug made him think he was. "I hate you so much. I hope hell welcomes you with torture beyond anything you can imagine."

"Jenna. Killing someone will change you. Let me do this." Erik pulled out his gun and moved to stand beside us as I tightened my hands as much as I could and banged her head on the ground a few times, screaming at nothing. At everything. "Jenna."

"Back the fuck off." I glanced up at him and lifted up to press my full weight on her throat.

She scratched and clawed at me, but I couldn't force myself to back up. Erik should have killed her. He was the murderer, not me.

"Please. Please, Jenna. I didn't know. It was all him. It was all Nate. Check it out," Ashley whispered roughly as her face turned a sickening shade of blue.

"I don't care who it was. You're dying for it." I dug my nails into her neck and arched my back, wanting to hear her choke out more than I wanted my next breath. "I hate you. Sick bitch."

"Jenna." Erik touched my shoulder and I jerked my head up.

"I'll kill you next if you don't back the fuck up."

“No, you won’t.” He pushed at my shoulder and knocked me back before firing his weapon twice.

“Why?” I scrambled to my knees.

“Because… someone was paying me something far more than a few favors to get it done, and that someone isn’t you, baby doll.” He winked and offered me his hand.

“What? Who?” I glanced down at Ashley’s bloody face and turned my back to her as a cry lodged in my throat. “I almost killed someone. They’re going to find her and they’ll have my prints all over her throat. What am I-”

"Never. I've been watching over Nate for twenty-six years. You belong to him as far as I'm concerned, which means you have my protection too. Go get in the car and I'll burn this place down. No one will ever know."

I looked up at him. "I'll know."

"Yeah, so live with it. We all do.” He leaned down and kissed my forehead. "Nate would get rock hard over this. Get in the car. Now."

His voice was nothing more than an echo in my head as I stumbled out of the house and walked toward the car. The door slammed and I turned in time to watch him jog toward me as the house exploded into a million pieces. The force of it threw me to the ground, but I was in Erik's arms a few minutes later, struggling to keep consciousness.

Too much. It was all too much, and the one person I needed to help bring me through all of it wasn't available to me, nor would he ever be again.

Nate.