I paced the floor in the cafeteria until my feet hurt. Dropping down at a table, I pulled out my phone and called the only person I wanted to talk to - Lance. We'd been friends my whole life, and he was the only guy that shot straight with me. Without a sibling in my life, I needed him. Especially now.

"Danny?" His voice was thick with sleep.

"Hey man." I pressed my forehead against my hand and closed my eyes. "I'm at the ER with my dad. I just needed to hear a friendly voice."

"Fuck, dude. What happened?" He seemed to wake up fast.

"I don't know. He's been having some chest pains lately and refused to have it checked out." I sat up and glanced around to find a scattered handful of people that looked about like I felt. "He had a mild or minor heart attack tonight."

"Did you find out on the field?"

"No. I'd come down into the locker room after getting in a fight on the mound."

"Oh shit. You played Oakland tonight, didn't you?" He yawned loudly. If it were anyone but him, I'd have felt like shit for calling so late in the night.

"Yeah, man. That bastard that used to date your sister charged me because I accidentally hit him in the hip with a fastball." I smiled, feeling a bit of warmth for the first time that night.

"Accidentally? Something tells me that's a fucking lie." He chuckled. "He deserved it. He badgered Terra a million times to get into her pants. I should have gone down there and beat his ass myself."

Guilt swam through me. I'd taken Terra's virginity and turned into an asshole shortly thereafter. She probably hated me for it.

"You doing okay up there in the big apple?" I walked to the small cafeteria at the end of the room. Coffee would be helpful for my long night ahead.

"Yeah. I miss you guys and the rain, but it's a good life." He cleared his throat. "We just got this new surgeon in that's a total prick. I'm thinking about dragging his ass out behind the hospital and putting a hurting on him."

I laughed and fixed myself a cup of coffee. Light brown. Like dessert. It was the way Terra drank it, and somehow, she talked me into loving the girly ass drink myself when we were younger. Pressing my hand to my heart, I took a shallow breath.

"Hey. I fucked things up with Terra pretty bad. I just wanted you to hear it from me."

"Oh yeah? Sounds like the good old days. Give me the juicy deals, but leave out the juicy parts."

I smiled. He's been saying the same thing most of our lives. "I don't know, Lance. I love her with everything inside of me, but everything feels so fucked up right now. With losing Martin and having to raise Lyndsay to my dad having chest pains and the guys in the club getting popped for HGH. Just feels like nothing is going right."

"So why can't what you have with Terra be that one thing, Danny? She's a rock that you could lean on."

"That's not fair, and you know it." I paid for the coffee and walked back to my seat amid a million empty ones. "She's trying to figure out who she is in this new ownership position and deal with me, and let's not forget how badly she is hurting from losing your dad."

"She's much stronger than you're giving her credit for. Just don't hurt her or make her feel unprotected and you'll be fine."

The image of her glancing up at me from the floor in the hallway brushed by my mind's eye. The horror on her beautiful face as she screamed for me to leave Paul alone was enough to scar me for life. Maybe she still had feelings for the guy?

"You think she still wants something between her and Paul?" I could ask Lance. He was my best friend and the closest thing I had to a brother.

"Not in the slightest. I think you're looking for something to come in between you guys."

I snorted. "No way. That's the dumbest shit I've ever heard."

"Is it? You've spent so many years running from love and now it's right in front of you? That's a scary feeling, Danny."

"No shit." I reached up and ran my hands through my hair as a nurse walked into the cafeteria, her eyes wide as if she were freaking out. "Let me call you right back."

"Alright. Just real quick."

I stood as she headed my way. "Make it fast."

"Do you think I need to fly down and take care of Terra? Does she need me there? Did I leave too much for her to deal with?"

"No, and I'm here if you did. Later man." I dropped the call and slipped my phone in my back pocket as the nurse stopped in front of me.

"Daniel McAdams?"

"Yeah. What's up?" My pulse spiked. Something was wrong by the look on her face and the fact that she was breathing hard. Had she come running down to the cafeteria to find me?

"Your father has had a massive heart attack and a possible stroke. You need to come help us with your mother. She's not taking the situation very well." She turned and motioned for me to follow her.

"Wait. What? I thought it was a minor heart attack." I jogged after her, and she picked up her walk to a jog.

I turned the corner as my mother flailed in one of the large male nurse’s arms, screaming as she lost her shit completely. "I want to see him. Let me see him. Please."

"Mom?" I ran over to her and took her from the nurse as she wrapped her arms around me and sagged into my arms.

"Please Danny? Please. Tell them to let us see him one more time. Please." She moved back and hit my chest with her fists as tears poured from her eyes.

"One more time?" My heart almost stopped in my chest as I turned to watch one of the doctors hit my dad with an electronic bolt to the chest. His limp body convulsed and dropped to the bed below, motionless.

"Oh shit." I pulled my mom in again and cupped the back of her head as I held her tightly, not letting her see what they were up to. I watched in horror as they tried a few more times.

The young doctor trying to help glanced up and locked eyes with me through the glass, and I knew.

He didn't make it.

"We need to go home okay, mom? We'll come back-"

"No!" She screamed and pulled back to turn around.

I grabbed her arms and manhandled her to the front door as my voice broke. "We'll come in tomorrow morning and see dad, okay?"

"Mr. McAdams?" The doctor walked out with a needle in his hand as my mom lost her shit again. "You need some help?"

"What is that?" I held onto her as my world crumbled around me. I searched in my mind for the last thing my father and I had talked about. Terra. He'd given his blessing on my girl. Or was it something else?

"Just something to calm her down. I'll get a wheelchair and help you get her into the car."

"No! No!" My mom reached behind her and knocked the needle from the doctor’s hand, sending it flying. "Don't take him away from me. I'm nothing without him." She turned and grabbed me by the shoulders hard. "He's everything to me, Daniel. Don't let them take him."

I choked on a sob and held onto her. "They're not taking him anywhere, momma."

"Here, Mrs. McAdams. It's going to be okay." The doctor got the needle into her arm and she slumped against me as I cried in the hallway.

"It's alright mom. I'm right here." I helped her down into the chair and stepped back as my insides melted. "Fuck." I turned and walked down the hallway, gripping my head and trying to make sense of what was happening.

I stopped by the window to watch them pull a blanket over my dad's limp body.

"Mr. McAdams. Can I-"

"No! Leave me the fuck alone for a minute." I pressed my fist to my mouth as another sob ripped my heart open. How the hell were we going to survive without my dad? Why me? Why us?

I glanced over at my mom as she laid slumped over, her eyes closed but her crying could be heard down the hallway.

Why her?