Fuck.

I dropped down in my chair and glanced out toward the street. The sun sat perfectly in the sky, creating a slight glare on the windowpane, and allowing me to stare at Jenna without her knowing it.

Anger burned through me, which I quickly reassessed as possessiveness. Whoever the preppy cock that had the nerve to get in my damn face was, he'd better keep his pocket-protecting ass away from my woman.

"Hey. What the fuck about meeting me at your place?"

"Hey." I glanced over at Mikey and tried to force myself to chill the fuck out. "Sorry. I thought we said here."

I stole a peek at her and ignored the thick swelling of my dick in my jeans. She could glance my way and I'd be hard as a rock and ready to fuck for hours. Why though? She couldn't be nearly as innocent as I'd made her out to be in my head, and in all honesty, I didn't enjoy innocent. I wanted a woman who knew her way around the bed and was ballsy enough to demand what she needed from me.

Maybe it wasn't innocent or virginal that I wanted. Maybe it was just whole, unbroken, tight, relatively pure. Not half-shattered and loose as a vacuum hose, like Ash had become over the years.

"Earth to Nate." Mikey waved his hand in front of my face.

I reached out and grabbed it tightly. "Stop, dude. I'm in a mood. Seriously."

"No shit. What happened?" He jerked his hand from mine and rubbed it. "Why you gotta be violent? Damn. I didn't even do anything."

I glanced down at my coffee and forced myself to calm down. Nothing had happened and everyone was fine. Jenna didn't belong to me - yet. "Sorry. Some prick was in here hitting on her when I got here. It just got me riled up and shit."

"It's the stuff with Ash, right? Tell me what the plan is. It'll make you feel better to get it off your chest. You can't carry all this stuff around by yourself, Nate. It's going to eat you alive."

I glanced up into the warm eyes of my best friend. He was likely the only person on the planet who would weep at my funeral. Ashley would have at one time, but me refusing her more than a friendship with a few benefits over the years had closed that door - hopefully. I needed it closed.

"I don't want you getting involved in this shit. It's my darkness to carry around. The less you know, the better." I turned as Jenna walked from around the counter and toward the back of the shop. Their storage closet was down by the bathrooms, and it was small, but it would work.

"I want to know. I'm here for you."

"Stop trying to tell me you're in love with me and just say it already." I winked at him and stood up.

"Where are you going?" He glanced up.

"To make one more mistake in my life." I walked toward the hallway, not sure of what the hell I was going to say to her. I'd just told her that I was dangerous and she needed to back the fuck up. I needed to be tested for a mental illness. I obviously had one.

The door to the storage closet was open, and Jenna was on her toes, reaching for something that she was never going to get.

"Need help?" I walked in as she yelped and spun around.

"From you, Johnny Danger? No. I've got it." She turned and lifted back up.

The thick curve of her ass in her jeans made my heart skip a beat. Wonder if she'd let me press my face against her soft flesh and spend time memorizing her smell.

"It's Nate, but I think you knew that." I moved toward her and pressed myself against her back as I lifted up and grabbed the box of coffee she seemed to be after. The softness of her ass pressed against my cock, and fuck if I didn't wanna thrust forward.

She stiffened and dropped down, only to turn around and give me an accusatory stare. "I could have gotten it."

"Maybe I wanted a reason to touch you."

"You need a reason? Seems odd for a guy who looks like you."

"Mouthy. I like it." I didn't budge, and luckily enough for me, she wasn't getting around me. I filled up the small closet.

"What do you want, Nate?" She put her hand on her hip and tilted her head a little.

I gave myself a few seconds to appreciate her fully. Big tits, long thick brown hair, and a beautiful smile. Thin waist and full hips. So fucking hot.

"You for starters, but I'm thinking it's just a matter of time at this point."

"Me? A year of you coming in here and you've not said a word to me."

"It’s complicated." I reached out and tucked her hair behind her ear. "You smell good. Really good."

She pulled at her t-shirt, pressing the front of it to her nose. "I don't even have perfume on."

I reached out and jerked her around before pressing myself against her back and splaying my fingers out across her tight tummy. I leaned down and pressed my mouth to her ear, breathing in deeply as I did it.

"It's not your perfume I smell, Jenna."

She pressed back against me, rolling her hips just a little. It was enough. "We're going to Kadia on Friday night. Come with me."

"I thought you weren't the kind of girl to ask a man out." I slid my hand down her tummy and stopped at the top of her mound. "And why would an innocent girl like you wanna go to a shithole like Kadia?"

"My friends are going." Her hand slid over mine, her fingers wrapping around mine. "Please don't."

"Don't what?" I closed my eyes and breathed her in deeply again as I wrapped my free arm around her, above her breasts. "Make you wet?"

"I'm already wet. You know that." Her head dropped as if she were ashamed of the fact.

"Good. Then we'll both be in pain for the rest of the afternoon." I ran my nose by her ear. "See you Friday night."

"So you're coming?" She groaned as I let her go and turned to walk out of the closet.

"Not yet, but I will be soon. Mind if I borrow your name while I do it?" I spoke over my shoulder and kept moving.

Mikey looked up from his cup and gave me a quizzical look. "Everything okay?"

"Yep. I just wanted the girl to know that I was interested."

"I was thinking about that."

"Me and Jenna? You filthy pig." I winked at him and downed the rest of my coffee, grimacing as the cold sludge went down my throat. "Ugh. Disgusting."

Mikey waved his hand at me as if to shut me up. "Maybe I shouldn't have said anything to her. You know how Ashley gets about any other women in your life."

"Ashley is my partner in crime. Nothing more." I stood up and adjusted my dick.

Mikey growled and turned his head away. "Come on. Really?"

"Sorry, man. Is what it is."

"Where are you going?"

"I'm headed over to talk with Ash about Friday night."

"What about Friday night?" His eyes widened a little.

"None of your business. See you later." I tossed my cup in the trashcan on my way out and didn't turn back to find Jenna until I was too far to see her anyway. What the fuck was I doing?

I didn't deserve anything in life, especially not a woman like her.

Besides, Mikey was right. Ashley would find out about her and go apeshit and then what? Would I defend the girl who'd stood beside me my whole shitty life, or the one I'd fallen in love with over the last year?

Something told me that Jenna would be getting my vote. Why the thought bothered me so much was a mystery, but it did. Loyalty meant something to me, but for the first time in a long time, love did too.

* * *

"You're late." Ashley glanced up from the couch as I walked back into the apartment.

"I didn't realize we had a time set up to meet." I shrugged before pulling off my jacket and hanging it up near the door.

She sauntered up to me and slid her hands up my chest and around my neck. "Where have you been?"

"None of your business." I reached up to pull her arms off of me.

She grumbled and pushed at my back as I walked toward the kitchen. "Don't tell me you're in another mood. That shit is getting old."

"So is you showing up at the apartment that we have as a hideout. This place doesn't exist, remember?" I walked to the kitchen, ignoring her jabs. It was for the better. One of us would end up playing abuser, and I wasn't in the mood.

"You know I can't go anywhere else. Did you want to meet in that fucking preppy-ass coffee shop you sit in day in and day out? Wanna discuss killing my asshole husband while everyone listens in closely? How dumb are you."

I popped the top on my beer and turned to face her before taking a long drink. I let the silence settle between us, wanting her to know above all else that she didn't matter a bit. It was a lie, but it felt good to spew it.

"And how exactly do you know where I go to drink my coffee? You getting a little paranoid?" I chuckled low in my chest as she wrapped her arms around her chest.

"I don't like it, Nate. Something feels off about it."

"What's that? You spying on me, or us killing off your second husband in four years?"

"Both." She leaned against me as I walked over and wrapped my arm around her shoulders, half dragging her to the couch with me.

"Fuck you for watching me." I dropped down on the couch and leaned back.

"You like it." She smiled and tugged her skirt up her thighs before crawling into my lap. "Tell me you got me a few pills from Kadia."

"I did." I reached up and squeezed her tit. "I've had them in the bathroom for a few weeks. You knew that."

"I forgot." She spread her legs wide and rubbed herself against the thick lump in my jeans. Where I didn't love her, I'd fuck her a few more times before transitioning over to Jenna. The possibility of me having a long-term relationship caused something dead in me to resurrect, but I had to be careful. No one survived too long around me but Mikey and Ashley and that was by design.

"So you're going to come to Kadia on Friday night and bring some of your girls with you. Make sure there are several so you have an alibi."

"Yes." She pressed her hands against my chest and rocked harder, jerking her thin hips back and forth. "Fuck you feel good. Take off your jeans and I'll ride you."

"No, just come and get off. I'm not in the mood." I slid my hand down from her breast to her hip. "And don't get upset. I don't need your shit today."

She closed her eyes and let her head drop back as she continued to work herself against my erection. "I'll have him take one pill while I'm there and another a few hours later."

"It takes three for Zandra to be toxic. Tell him to take two a few hours after you leave." I reached down and slipped my fingers into her panties, diving into the hot wetness of her pussy and bringing her over the edge fast. Her jerking around on my lap left me wanting more than I'd allow myself. Too much sex with her and she'd get the wrong idea. Marriage, kids and white picket fences. Funny how the whores of the world still wanted all those lovely pure things too.

"Fuck," she cried out and bucked against me.

"So hot, Ash. Now, get up and I'll see you Friday night. Play your part right and our bank account will be twice what it is now."

She leaned down and kissed me hard, continuing to fuck my fingers with long, slow thrusts. "I want more."

"Good. I'll give you more this weekend. Get up." I pulled my hand from her body and leaned back. "Now."