I drank myself into a semi-comma that night after the game. Most of us did. Thankfully, Gary gave me a lift back to the house and helped me get into bed. He was a good guy. Much better of a friend than I deserved.

I woke Friday morning in a panic. What time is it?

Martin's funeral was at ten and I hadn't thought to set an alarm. I rolled out of bed and hit the floor hard, my stomach lurching as I tried to stand up.

"Ugh. Fuck," I groaned and ran my fingers through my hair. Drinking at thirty was totally different than drinking at twenty. At least the morning after was. After stumbling around the room like I was still drunk, I found my phone. 8:30.

"Thank God." I took a few deep breaths and tried to wake up. After a few minutes of pacing the floor in front of my bed, I forced myself into the shower and changed into the only black shirt, tie and slacks I had. I debated over whether to wear a jacket or not, but the sound of my father in the back of my head answered the question for me.

"Jackets are required for weddings, funerals and public events. Period."

"Got it," I said and pulled the jacket over my shoulders. After checking myself one more time in the mirror, I grabbed the keys to the bike and headed to the funeral home. There was no way in hell they were going to have enough room to hold everyone, but I reminded myself that it wasn't my problem. I had to pay my respects, carry the casket as a pallbearer and try not to lose my shit over seeing Terra for the first time in seven years.

Something told me that the first two items on my list were cake compared to the last.

A million questions raced through my mind as I made my way to the funeral home. What did she look like up close? Had she found someone else? Was she happy? Did she want kids when we got married and I built her the house of her dreams?

I scoffed at my ridiculous thoughts and parked the bike next to a row of expensive cars. Baseball players and their toys.

"Daniel. There you are." My father walked out into the parking lot and offered his hand. "Your mom was getting worried that you might skip out."

"No. Never." I hugged my dad and walked into the building to find it as I'd expected - packed. The soft elevator music mixed with the sound of crying and the smell of moth balls had my stomach lurching again.

Fuck me for getting wasted the night before.

"Your mom is sitting up near the front. I think Lance is near that office over there. I’m sure he’d love to see you." My father pointed to a row of offices and rubbed the middle of my back. "We're here for you."

"I know, dad. Thanks." I walked towards the offices and tried to catch my breath. It was insane, but the woman of my dreams was somewhere in one of the rooms around me. My pulse raced and sweat collected on my hands and forehead. Shit. I wasn't going to make it.

"Hey. You looking for me?" Lance walked up and smiled, offering me a quick, brotherly hug.

"Yeah. Sorry, I'm late, man." I hugged him tightly before moving back. "You need me to do anything?"

"No, and you're not late. We're starting in ten minutes." He smiled and shook his head. "Being on time is a waste of time, right?"

"You stole the words from my mouth."

"Excuse me, Mr. Harmon. Can I talk to you for a minute? Sorry to interrupt." An elderly woman with a hymnal in her hand walked up beside us.

"Do what you need to do, man. I'll be up front with you guys and my folks." I patted his arm. "I'm here for you."

"I know you are." He winked and turned to the lady, leaving me standing there, sweating my balls off again. Where was Terra? I didn't want to walk up on her and be surprised. I needed a minute.

A hard-on in a funeral was beyond fifty shades of grey. I moved up to the opening to the sanctuary and paused, letting my eyes move along the crowds until I spotted someone with hair the color of fire. Dark red locks billowed down her back, accentuating just how tiny she was up top. Her hips jutted out, and her ass forced her fitted black dress to curve beautifully.

"Shit." I swallowed hard and glanced down toward my shoes as I breathed in through my mouth. She was everything I remembered her to be and probably so much more.

"Fuck, dude. Have you seen Martin's daughter?" One of the guys from the outfield moved up beside me and wrapped his arm around my shoulders. "Daniel. She has to be the most beautiful woman I've seen in months."

"Years." Another guy moved up on my other side. "She has curves in all the right places, and her confidence is wicked hot."

"Chill it." I growled at both of them. "She just lost her dad for fuck's sake."

"I know." One of them lifted his hand in surrender as the other disappeared into the crowd, headed Terra's way. "I was just telling you about her. Shit, man."

"I already know about her." I straightened up and brushed my hand down my chest. "She's going to be taking over for Martin, so learn to respect her. She's not just a pretty face." I glanced his way. "She's your new boss."

"I'm down." He gave me a cocky smile.

"Good luck." I walked into the room and nodded at a few people, shook a few hands and tried hard to force the conversation with the guys out of my head. Everyone would be vying for Terra's attention, but I knew here, no one would get it.

"Thank you so much for coming." Her voice carried behind her as I took the final few steps between us.

"You've become such a lovely woman, Terra. I know your dad is so proud of you." Alan, our GM reached out and shook Terra’s hand, the sad look on his face a replica of everyone else walking around.

"Thanks, Mr. Danes. I'm sure we'll be talking sooner rather than later." She reached up and brushed her hair over her shoulder, sending the sweet aroma of her shampoo to smack me in the face. As if I needed any other stimuli.

"Good." Alan's attention turned to me. "Daniel. I just saw your folks somewhere around here."

I stiffened and so did Terra. "Yes, Sir. They're mingling with everyone."

"You look nice son." He moved past me and patted me on the chest as he did. "You clean up well."

Terra turned around and pursed her lips. There were so many things I wanted to tell her, but more than anything else, I wanted to pull her close and kiss her until her knees fucking gave out.

"I'm sorry," I whispered, not fully able to find enough air.

"Thanks." She held my gaze, not at all fazed by me from what I could tell. There was a hint of anger in her expression unless I misread it. "It's good to see you."

"You too. You look-"

"Terra! Darling. You just look stunning." An older woman who was dressed to go to a masquerade ball took Terra's attention away from me.

She turned without blinking an eye and moved into the woman's arms. I took a deep breath and found my parents. There was no need in analyzing the moment. She wasn't glad to see me in the slightest, and I couldn't blame her.

My mom leaned over and kissed my cheek as I sat down between her and my dad. "Did you see Terra? My God. She's so beautiful, Daniel."

"What?" My dad leaned around the front of me, whispering loudly.

"Shh!" My mom responded, rolled her eyes and turned to the front as the service started.

I sat between them with my eyes on Terra. It was a long ass half-hour of watching her shoulder shake and knowing that she was hurting. I should have been the man next to her. The one with his arms around her, holding her as she lost her hero, but I wasn't.

I was a few rows back, watching helplessly. There was no fucking way she was going to let me close to her.

And as sick as it was, there was some sense of satisfaction deep down in the darkest parts of my soul. I might not have been her man, but no one else was either. Which meant there was still a chance.

A slim one, but that's all I needed.