"Sir. There are several people here to see you." The nurse moved up beside my bed and touched my arm.

"I don't care. I'm not seeing anyone." I kept my face toward the window. "They're not my blood relatives, and I’m not married."

"All right, but I still think-"

"I didn't ask what you think," I barked and jerked my face toward her as I narrowed my eyes.

She moved back and lifted her hands as if surrendering. "Okay. I'm sorry."

"Fuck off." I turned back toward the window and closed my eyes as pain laced the center of my chest.

Guilt. Embarrassment. Fury.

I couldn't look at Jenna again after what happened. There was no way. Ashley didn't want me to die, or Jenna to end up a bloody stump from being fucked across the kitchen floor.

She wanted my dignity. And she got it.

The door opened and I sat up and started to throw my pillow.

"I'm not here to fluff any of your shit. Lay down and shut up." Erik walked in and dropped down in the chair next to the bed.

"Fuck you, Bertinelli. Get outta here." I closed my eyes and rested my arm on my face. "I don't owe you shit."

"Naw, but you sure as fuck owe that beautiful woman close to tears in the lobby. She fucked you in front of a crowd to help you out a couple of days ago. I stood by like a bastard and watched." He pressed his fingers to his mouth as I turned my face toward him.

"You're sick."

"No, you are." He got a faraway look in his eyes. "Did you fall in love with her when you first started going to De Luca or was it more recent?"

"Have you been watching me?" I growled and sat up.

"I've always been watching you, Nate. You're my best friend. I'd never let a fucking leaf fall on your side of the street." He turned his steely eyes back onto me. "You think just because you flipped me and my family off that I could walk away? You saved my goddamn life a million times when we were kids. Took a bullet in the chest for me, what? Five times?"

"Four. You dick." I reached up and rubbed my chest.

"You're not choosing to live right now. You're choosing to die."

"No clue what you're whining about. I'm not in the mood though." I let the smirk slide off my face as pain wrapped tightly around my chest, suffocating my desire to take another breath. "I can't see her again. She's in danger for one, and she has to hate me. I violated her trust, killed her brother, fucked her like a two-bit whore."

"Yeah. And?" He stood up and moved over to the bed, putting his hand on my chest. "You're a good man. You're just living in a fucked up world. Fix it, or I'm going to fix it for you."

I turned and swallowed the burn in my chest as my eyes filled with tears. "Ash stole my pride, Erik. How the fuck do I ever get that back? Jenna deserves a man, not an abuser."

He nodded. "Ash only stole what you let her steal. Nothing more. You have a woman who loves you waiting in the lobby. Don't turn her away." He smiled just before I closed my eyes. "I promise you that I'll pick her up and make her mine."

"No, you won't." I reached up and grabbed for his throat as he chuckled.

"Good. She's a little too tainted for me anyway. I swear, she enjoyed fucking you and tugging on your shit as much as you cried for more." He moved back as I reached for him again. "She loves you, man. That shit is priceless."

"I know." I turned back toward the window. "Take her home for me. I'll see her when I get out. I promise."

He left without another word, and I was grateful. He knew me well enough to understand that when I said my peace... I meant it.

* * *

I drifted off somewhere in the middle of the afternoon and woke to the nurse shaking my shoulder.

"Mr. Hayes. There's a cop here that wants to talk with you." She rubbed my shoulder softly.

"What?" I jerked up, only to have her push me back. My dreams left me sweating like a whore in church. Jenna strapped to a bed while I violated every part of her. I let out a long sigh and turned to watch a tough-ass-looking guy walk in the room.

"I won't take up much of your time, Mr. Hayes."

"It's Nate, man." I ran my hand over my hair. "Can you hand me that jug of water over there? This shit they're using to clean my system is leaving me so dry it feels like my fucking eyeballs are going to crack."

He chuckled and turned. "I'm Cole Matthenson. I'm new to the area."

"Oh yeah. You're the cop that was up at Kadia. Someone mentioned you'd stopped by." I reached for the jug and shook my head as he tried to hand me a glass. "I don't need that." I chugged most of the water, not giving two shits that the guy might be grossed out by me. Fuck him if he was.

"That place is... interesting."

"You can say that." I wiped the back of my mouth and handed him the jug. "Thanks."

"Sure. Can I ask you a few questions about what happened with you and your girlfriend?"

"Jenna's not my girlfriend." I leaned back as sickness rolled in the pit of my stomach.

"Oh. All right. She said she was." He smirked. "Women."

"What do you need to know?"

"Can you give me the details on where I could find a Miss Denise Webb? Jenna mentioned the girl's name might actually be Ashley. I'm not sure which it is, but it would seem that she was involved in all of this stuff."

"I have no clue where she is. You guys should check my apartment and probably Darek Webb's place. She was his wife."

"The late Darek Webb, correct?"

"Yeah." I leaned back and let the weariness I was holding back roll over me in thick waves. "Make sure you guys keep an eye on Jenna. She's not safe."

"Who should we be concerned about coming after her?" He lifted his pad of paper. "A Mister Erik Bertinelli?"

"Naw. Erik's a good guy."

The cop chuckled. "Really? That's not the information I'm able to pull up."

"We all got shit on our record around here. Something you good guys wouldn't understand."

"You'd be surprised," he mumbled and glanced down at his notepad as he took a few more notes.

"Where is Jenna?"

"She left with Mr. Bertinelli earlier from what I understand." He shrugged. "Do you guys sell Zandra out of Kadia?"

"Nope. You need to talk with Fredrick-"

"Carrington. I know. I have. Several times. The guy is hoping to get me to join his staff, but he's not hearing me.”

“Seems a little odd that the boss man would be recruiting from the local police force.” I lifted an eyebrow. Was this guy for real?

“He’s a powerful man. He knows that my uniform doesn’t fit right. My past won’t let it. Besides, my day of clubs and crime are long behind me."

I smiled. "You say that until you start to miss it. There is freedom in the darkness that will never be found anywhere else."

"Yeah, and sanity in the light." He tapped the pen to the paper. "Anything else you might want to let me in on? I've heard the main details about what happened. You didn't take the third pill, did you?"

"No. I would have to save Jenna from the horror of what that shit did to me, but I couldn't find the goddamn thing." I let out a short sigh. "I'm tired if you're done with your questions."

"Sure. We'll send a patrolman to watch over Miss Webb. Her father might have already requested one. It wouldn't surprise me much."

"I like her father. He's a good guy."

"Yeah, but he's been through hell lately. I'm pretty sure the whole damn state is about to get in an uproar about this drug you suffered from."

"Maybe they should. Who knows?" I shrugged. "It's fantastic in small doses, but toxic when you OD."

"Most things are, right?" He nodded. "Thanks for your time, Nate. I'll be in touch if we have any follow-up questions."

"All right." I leaned back and watched him go as fear permeated the center of my chest. I needed to get the fuck out of the hospital and get over to Jenna's place. I wouldn't go in and let her know I was watching, but someone needed to keep her close. Ashley wouldn't rest easy without knowing that she'd finished the job and completely smashed my heart.

Maybe the only option was to find Ash and wrap my hands around her throat. To watch her squirm beneath me until she stopped breathing.

"Stop it," I groaned and pressed my hand to my face. I hated who I had become. The guy in the coffee shop that fell in love with the DA's daughter didn't exist. It was time to start acting like he was buried six feet under.

No more trying to resurrect the dead. I was who I was, and I got what I deserved. Play with fire, get your ass burnt.