Numbness surrounded me as I stood at the edge of my father's grave. Rain drizzled from above, almost making the memory perfect. I'd suffer for a long time trying to get over losing him, but one thing would have made it so much easier.

Having someone that loved me intimately suffocating me with love.

But it wasn't meant to be. I glanced up and turned, catching Danny's eye as he stood a row behind me with the other team members that had carried my father's casket. He was beyond beautiful, a well-aged version of the boy I'd fallen in love with.

Anger was my only protection against him, and I knew I needed one. The little bits of his conversation with my brother left me with one conclusion. He was interested, but it was for the wrong reasons. It had to be. The sport meant everything to him and now I was going to own my father's team?

Where I didn't think Danny was anything like Paul, I couldn't help but wonder what his intentions were.

He'd chosen his future over me. Plain and simple. And it was probably a good thing.

His hot and cold affection confused me back in school. He'd pushed our lust to a certain point and shut us down, leaving me to feel needy and slutty by my desire to push him farther. He didn't want to close the gap between being kids and being lovers. I understood it more now, but it still stung like a bitch. If I let him back into my life, would he do it again? Take us to a certain point and freeze up? Shut down? Walk away?

I turned back to the graveside as the preacher finished up his part.

"The Harmon's want to thank all of you today for coming. They'll be hosting a come and go brunch at Martin's house. There are flyers with directions if you're interested. Thank you and God bless." He nodded and gave me a sad smile.

Lance slipped his hand into mine. "Come on. Let's get over to the house before everyone else does."

"Okay." I pulled my hand from my brother's but moved in behind him.

"You guys need some help?" Danny jogged up to us, keeping in step with me instead of Lance.

"No," I responded as Lance glanced back and said, "Yes."

Danny laughed softly. "Alright. I'm coming. I'm like one of the kids too."

I bit my tongue. He should have been my husband, the father to all of the kids I didn't have.

"Hey! Wait up." Niki jogged up to the other side of me and slipped her hand into mine. "You doing okay?"

"Yeah. Thanks." She leaned forward a little and bit her lip. "Danny McAdams. Looking hot as usual."

He smiled. "Thanks, Niki. You look great yourself. How is your little guy?"

We got to the car, and I pulled out of Niki's hold and got into the front seat, sparing myself the long ride back to my dad's with Danny pressed to the side of me. Conflicted emotions had me sick to my stomach by the time we got to the house. I'd mumbled a few responses to the conversation in the back between my brother, Niki, and Danny. It was like old times, except I didn't feel at all like a part of what they were up to.

"Thanks." I smiled over at the driver and got out. I'd entertain everyone for a little while and fake illness. It wasn't too farfetched seeing that nausea swam in my stomach.

"Terra. Wait up." Niki called to me, and I paused long enough for her to reach me.

We walked to the front of the house in silence. One of my father's many staff members opened the door. "Miss Harmon."

"Thanks." I walked into the house and let out a soft sigh. "Sorry. Something about being around Danny leaves me feeling a million times more broken than I am."

"I understand that." Niki slid her arm into mine. "Come on. Let's get some food and something to drink and find a corner to hunker down in. You know you're going to be bombarded with people soon."

"Sounds good." I walked over to the food table and let my eyes move across the various items. Nothing looked good. I moved out of the way and turned to find my brother and Danny talking with Alan, Joe and Gary, the old guys that were part of my father's baseball organization. Each of them means so much to him. So much more than maybe they knew.

Danny's shoulders pressed against the black button up he wore, and his ass looked so damn good in his slacks. His thick legs caught my attention, and by the time Niki caught up to me, I was wet, aching and panting a little.

"Hey. What's going on with you?" She gave me a funny grin. Her eyes followed my gaze and she snorted. "You seriously think you're going to be able to deny yourself a roll in the sheets with Danny McAdams? You're outta your fucking mind, Terra."

"I'm not giving into him." I narrowed my eyes and turned to face her. "He's not getting back into my life."

"How about just into your body?" She wagged her eyebrows and gave me a sexy smile.

"No. I can't." I turned around to find him watching me with the same interest I watched him with. "He'll fuck me up for sure."

He smiled and mouthed. "What?"

I shook my head and gave him an ugly look before turning my back to him. "He denied me a million times in high school. Fuck him."

"I'd fuck him. For sure." She turned and pressed her shoulder against mine. "Maybe a release would be good." She leaned around the front of me. "It would be healing."

"Or damning." I walked over to the bar. "Whiskey please."

"And Coke?" The bartender offered a smile.

"Just whiskey. A double shot, please." I stiffened as someone moved up next to me. Lance. "Thank God." I let out a long sigh. "I thought you were Danny."

He chuckled. "I see you're both up to teasing each other from across the room. Dad would be proud of you. Your poker face is on tight."

I nodded, took the drink and kicked it back, finishing it in a few long gulps. "Another." I handed it to the bartender. "No more ice, please."

I downed that one too and growled at the burn. I wasn't hoping to get drunk, but a buzz wouldn't hurt anything.

"Alright, lush. Come on." Lance took my forearm and led me back toward one of the many bedrooms in our dad's mansion. We left the door opened and walked to the bed where pictures were laid out. "I'm going to put some of these on the slide show at the next ball game. Which do you like most?"

I licked my lips and leaned over, picking out two I loved. "These."

"Lance. You needed me, man?" Danny's voice surprised me.

I glanced over my shoulder and stifled a groan. Fuck the man was a god. With so much liquor in my system, I'd have to be careful. I'd be on my knees trying to fit his enormous cock in my mouth if I weren't careful. Memories raped my insides, and I jerked back around and picked up a third picture.

"Here. I'm out." I started to walk out, but my brother grabbed my wrist. "There are more. Just stay here for a second and I'll get them."

I turned to hear him explain to Danny about the pictures too. He walked out and closed the door behind him.

Danny turned toward the door as it clicked shut and back to me. "If you wanted to see me, all you had to do was say so, Terra. You didn't need Lance's help."

I laughed hatefully. "As if." I turned back to the bed. "My brother still has some lofty hope that you'll be a part of our family."

"And you?" He moved up beside me, his mere presence causing my insides to ache.

"That ship sailed a long time ago." I refused to look at him. I couldn't. I knew the minute I did that I would sink into his arms and let him have anything he wanted from me.

"You have no idea what you do to me." He brushed a long string of hair off my shoulder.

I jerked around and stepped toward him. "Don't touch me again."

"Because you like it too much?" He closed the gap between us and passion boiled in his gaze.

"You have no clue what I like. I offered myself to you and you refused me." I laughed sardonically. "But you fucked a zillion other women, didn't you, Daniel McAdams." I moved back and took a sharp breath. I was going to break down. "The world's sexiest bachelor is back in my life, ladies and gents. He can't get to home plate with the girl he loved, but he'll swing that fucking bat for any other horny bitch in the stands."

"Terra." He reached for me, but I jerked my arm away.

"I'm leaving. Tell Lance I'll be in my bedroom."

"Don't go. I'm serious." He walked toward me as I turned and walked to the door.

"Stay away from me, Danny. I won't tell you again. You didn't want me then, and I sure as fuck don't want you now."