There was a black SUV sitting in the parking lot of the drive-in when I pulled into the lot a few hours later. I was exhausted. I’d been burning adrenaline since the call and I was running out, it felt like. I parked and jumped out of the truck as soon as it was stopped. I figured either I was going to die immediately or look eager to see him. Either way, I was tired of anticipating it.
Antonio stepped out of the driver’s seat and hurried to me. He had a gun at his side, but he didn’t raise it at me. “Clara!”
I fell into his arms, not knowing what my plan was. I just had to see where it took me. “I’m so scared, Antonio. I’m so scared.”
He pushed me back and started running his hands all over me. It felt so wrong after what I’d just done with Cash. I wanted to scream, but I just looked confused instead.
“What are you doing?”
He finished and caught my face in his hands. “I had to make sure you weren’t really on his side, Clara. Things are not good here. He’s causing trouble everywhere. I had to make sure he didn’t get to you.”
“Antonio, he told me things. Things I don’t want to believe.”
“Talk to me, baby. I’m so sorry I let you get hurt. I’ve tightened security and once we get you back to the house, nothing will ever happen to you again.”
I found that I didn’t have to force tears for what I had to say. “He told me about how you met each other. In the SEALs. He said he got you kicked out and you took me as a punishment to you. Even when I knew you’d taken Helena, you never told me why. You acted like you wanted me. You didn’t though, did you? I was just a game to you. A game to hurt Cash.”
Antonio shook his head. “No, baby. You were not a game for me. As soon as I saw you, I knew I had to have you. I wanted you. I loved you. Almost immediately. I did come to you to hurt him, but I’d planned to get rid of you and Helena. It’s the ugly truth. I couldn’t, though. Once I met you, I was a goner. Then, I couldn’t hurt Helena either. You saw. I sent her to my cousin’s. She’s happy. They aren’t connected to the business. They’re good people.
“I love you, Clara. Too much. I’m blinded by it. The men don’t trust me anymore, but I can’t hurt you. They think I came here to kill you.”
I tried to take a step back, but he shook his head and held me tighter. “I can’t. You have nothing to be afraid of. I couldn’t hurt you.”
“You sent a hitman after me!”
“My men did. I had them killed. I can’t lose you. Fuck, Clara.” He captured my face and kissed me. “I can’t lose you. Everything else is falling to shit, but I can’t lose you. I need you.”
“I wish this was different. You…you made me feel special while you could, Antonio. You gave me a life when I thought I couldn’t live anymore, but you took it away in the first place. Just because you were angry at Cash.”
“It’ll be different now. I’ve got no choice. I’ll give up everything for you. We can get on my plane and go anywhere in the world tonight. We can start over wherever you want us. I fucking love you. Do you understand that?”
I did. I understood it. He loved me like a little boy loved a bug. He caught me and loved me to death, almost. It wasn’t sane. He was being irrational.
He tucked his gun into the back of his pants and hugged me tightly. “I’m sorry for everything that I did. I never meant to hurt you. You know I’ve always wanted you to be happy. I’m ready to be done with this mess so we can just be happy together.”
I didn’t believe him. I wrapped my arms around his waist and hugged him tight, a silent goodbye to the years we spent together, even though they were a lie. “I loved you, Antonio. I’m sorry it was all a lie.”
I grabbed his gun and then jerked back and out of his arms. He scowled at me, but didn’t seem upset. I raised the gun and aimed at his head. “Don’t move. I’ll kill you right now.”
He smiled suddenly and glanced at the top of the concession stand at the other side of the parking lot. “You even blink wrong and my guy is putting a bullet through your thick skull.”
I didn’t look to see if there would be a man there. It didn’t matter. “You always were full of shit.”
“What did you think? I was going to let a woman ruin me? Never. My business is fine. Everything is fine. Cash can’t touch me. Neither can you.”
I really wanted to pull the trigger. “I’m glad I knew the truth before you died. And Cash doesn’t have to ruin you. I will. Because you fucked with the wrong family, asshole.”
His jaw clenched. “This doesn’t have to be ugly, Clara. You don’t have to die. Against my better judgment, I do love you. I’m just not an idiot. My business comes first.”
“You think I’ll what? Come back with you and let you keep me in the basement? You can come down and love me whenever you want and then just go back to work?”
“Pretty much.”
“Cash is better than you.” I held the gun straighter. “Whatever we had is over. I’m free. You don’t get to run anything anymore.”
Antonio pulsed with rage. He glanced towards the concession stand again and growled. “You’re just making it worse for yourself.”
I shook my head. “Nope. You want to know what’s going to happen?”
“Please, tell me more. I’m starting to see why Cash let you go so easily.”
“I’m going to ruin you. After I end you. I’m going to take your cell phone from your pocket and I’m going to start sending messages. I’m going to start making calls. Before the end of the week, every person you’ve ever done business with will have forgotten your name. They’ll just remember you as the skid mark they once passed by.”
Another glance towards the stand and I knew he was nervous. He hated our role reversal and wanted to take the power back. He was at the business end of his own gun, though. I saw the moment he realized he was in trouble. He dropped the scowl and pouted.
“Clara, baby. I don’t want things to be this ugly. Just come home with me. We’ll figure something out that works for both of us. Doesn’t it count that I treated Helena so kindly?”
I laughed. “No. Because you stole her from me. You lose, Antonio. Game over.”
He lunged for me but I had already decided I was pulling the trigger. The gun jolted my arm, but it made the shot. The front of Antonio’s face disappeared and a confetti-like explosion happened behind him. He went down slowly, onto his knees and then over onto his side, before rolling to rest with the place where his eyes were looking up at the night sky.
I gagged and turned away from it, but it was too late. The image of his head exploding was playing behind my eyes like a movie, over and over again. My hands shook so violently that I couldn’t put the safety on the gun. I put it on the ground and then backed away from the mess.
He was evil, a monster, and I’d hoped for the ending that had happened, but it wasn’t easy, still. I’d taken a life. The life of a man I’d once thought I loved. It wasn’t without its damage.
I leaned against the side of Cash’s truck and sank to the ground. I buried my face in my hands and sobbed. It was over. At least the part with Antonio was. I’d meant what I said to him about ruining his business. He was over. He wasn’t going to hurt anyone else.
My mind played tricks on me in those moments, sitting there alone. It kept flashing to memories of Antonio before I’d found out about Helena. He spoiled me with gifts and his time. He took me places that I never thought I’d see. We shared moments that had meant so much to me before the truth came out. I’d felt like the luckiest woman in the world. The man who’d made me feel like that was lying on the ground, with his head in pieces, just feet away from me.
I kept telling myself that I’d had to do it. It was my responsibility. No one else was hurt. No one else would have to be involved. Cash was safe. Helena was safe. Everyone was going to be okay.
I wondered if I would be.
“Clara?” Cash’s urgent voice rang out across the parking lot. “Where are you, C?”
“Here.” My voice broke and I cried harder. I didn’t want him to see me like I was, crying over the memory of a man who’d never existed, a man who seduced and romanced me to hurt him.
He appeared in front of me and grabbed the back of my head. He pulled me into his arms and swore against my ear. “Fucking hell, Clara. You could’ve gotten yourself killed. Why didn’t you wait for me? Why didn’t you let me help?”
“I didn’t want anyone else getting hurt.”
“Anyone but you?! Are you okay?” He pulled back and looked at me. “You’re not crying for him, are you?”
I shook my head.
Cash gave me a look and cupped my face in his hands. “Clara, look at me. You did the right thing.”
“I know. I know I did. He would’ve killed me. I think he had a man waiting to kill me, but…you took him out, didn’t you?” When he nodded, I cried harder. “Something’s wrong with me. I fell for him. I didn’t see anything wrong with him. And my brain is so messed up. I keep remembering times from when things were good, before I knew anything. I feel like I killed someone I loved, but I know that’s not true. I can’t stop seeing him. Before and like this.”
Cash scooped me into his arms and carried me to his truck. He put me in the backseat and crawled in after me, jamming his large body into the small space. Pressing me to his chest, he held me tight. “You’re not used to killing, are you?”
I shuddered. “Just three people. The two cops and Antonio.”
“People react differently. You have a rush of adrenaline crashing and you just forced closure on your brain. It’s not easy. You’re okay, though, C. You saved Helena from him ever hurting her. You stopped it.”
I leaned back and looked up at him. “Why are you being so nice?”
Half of his mouth tilted up in a smile. “Because I realized some things in the last couple of days.”
“What?”
“I can’t tell you yet.” He pulled me back into him. “Rest for a few minutes. I have a team coming to clean this up. You can tell me all about your plans to ruin his business while we’re waiting.”
I started crying again, but Cash just held me. Everything had changed so much. I wasn’t sure what was what anymore. I didn’t know what was going to happen or where I’d end up, but I wouldn’t be terrified anymore. At least not of Antonio and what he could do.
“What do we do about Helena?”
Cash pressed a kiss to the top of my head and sighed. “We talk about it tomorrow when we’re rational again.”
“I’m rational.” I tried to sit up so I could give him a dirty look. Even though I’d claimed my own insanity, I didn’t want him saying it.
“I mean me. You scared the shit out of me. He could’ve killed you, C. Easily. He would’ve if I hadn’t followed you so quickly.”
“It was a price I was willing to pay.”
“We’re going to talk about that tomorrow, too.”