“Well, Lacey! This is a public place!” A screechy old voice berated me right as Jagger let out a pained oomph. “What would your daddy say if he saw that?”
I opened my eyes to see the leader of the Ladies of the Succession, Marla Padgett. She was about the size you’d imagine one of those horror movie leprechauns to be and just as mean looking. From her fire-engine red hair to her orthopedic shoes, she was pure evil.
“Lady, if you hit me with that purse again, we’re going to have problems. What do you keep in that thing? Bricks?” Jagger was rubbing his shoulder with a scowl on his face.
“We’ve already got problems. I’m meeting my ladies here and none of us need to see that smooching. Keep it in your pants, young man.”
I looked around and, sure enough, her entire group of evil old bats were staring at us from their table. “Sorry, Marla. It won’t happen again.”
“Yeah, because you ruined the mood. Next time you decide to kill someone’s fun, make sure it isn’t mine.”
Marla glared at Jagger and raised her purse again. Jagger took it from her and held it at a normal level. Her face went as red as her dyed hair and she snatched it and hurried back to her table, where they all bowed their heads together and started whispering conspiratorially.
“What the hell was that?”
Jagger motioned at them. “That was me letting that crazy woman know that she can’t hit people with bricks!”
I rolled my eyes. “Okay, calm down. I’d be embarrassed if the guy I was kissing got into a fist fight with a ninety-year-old woman.”
He suddenly laughed. “She’s crazy. Look at her over there. She’s plotting my demise. I just know it.”
I looked back and caught Franklin’s scowl instead. He threw a few dollars on the counter and shot me another dirty look before swinging out of the café. The chill returned to my back and I swallowed down a sudden wave of nervousness.
“I’m going to go over there and tell her I was a SEAL.” Jagger stood up and marched over to their table. His face was hard and his stance was all business as he spoke to them.
I turned back to our own table, intent on not getting involved. The Ladies of the Succession had been known to cause a good amount of trouble themselves. I didn’t want any part of that.
I couldn’t get my mind off of Franklin’s facial expression, either. It didn’t feel normal. If I didn’t know better, I’d say that it looked as if he hated me in that moment. I hadn’t done anything to make him hate me, though. I was always professional with him when I came across him and he didn’t know I wanted to kick him out. I’d only talked to Dad and Bradley about it before telling Jagger.
I rolled up a napkin and tore at it while I thought. For a second, it crossed my mind that Franklin could be the one messing with us. Or one of his guests. The thought passed just as quickly, though. There was no way. Plus, he had no reason to want to hurt the ranch.
I looked around the café, feeling a little of the earlier darkness creeping back up on me. I wanted to end whatever game was being played at my family’s expense. I couldn’t get the sound of Mom’s screaming too far out of my head and, if I was being honest with myself, seeing blood on the kitchen floor again had hit me hard.
I didn’t normally let myself think of Jason. It hurt too much. The article that came out about him and then the recent events had made it impossible to do my normal routine, where I pretended I didn’t have a murdered brother in my history. It might’ve made me a bad person to pretend that, but it was easier. I’d never learned how to live with it. I’d never learned how to grieve and let it go.
Being seven when someone is murdered doesn’t give you a lot of options. I was immediately in the shadows of my parents’ grieving and their raging heartache. Dad’s guilt and Mom’s sorrow became their children and I was left to navigate what’d happened alone. Mom hadn’t been the same since and Dad hadn’t become someone I could talk to, either. It was almost like I’d lost my entire family that day.
It hurt too much. On the rare occasion that I did think about it, I doubted that it would ever get easier to handle. When I thought about it, it was almost like I was seven again, scared and alone. I felt horror at knowing what’d happened to my brother while I was right above them, hiding. I felt massive amounts of guilt for letting him leave me there. I felt angry that I was so helpless. Always so helpless.
My chest ached painfully and I rubbed at it, aware that the ache was inside, but unable to stop the reaction. Tears burned the back of my eyes and I quickly blinked them away, unwilling to cry in a public place over something so private.
I shoved as hard as I could to get everything locked away again and then imagined myself throwing away the key. It was better that I didn’t have a brother instead of having a murdered one. That was how I had to live.
“What’s wrong?”
I jerked and looked up at Jagger, surprised to find him there. I felt the melancholy look on my face and shook it off. I knew the smile I replaced it with looked broken, but it was the best I had. “Nothing. Sorry, I was just lost in thought. Did you survive the ladies?”
He sat down and reached across to hold my hand but I moved mine into my lap. His frown was dark. “What are you thinking about?”
I looked up as one of the local high school kids approached. She smiled broadly at Jagger and barely glanced at me. It was the only way I’d have it in that moment.
“Hi! I was waiting on everything to settle down before I came to take your order. What would y’all like?”
Jagger asked her the specials and ordered two after she told him. It was perfect with me. I ordered a sweet tea to go with it and then waited until she left to turn back to him, only to find him watching me.
“I asked about the ladies. How did you make it out alive?”
“I asked about your thoughts.”
I rolled my eyes. “It’s nothing, Jagger.”
“Didn’t look like nothing.”
I frowned at him. “Jagger, I don’t want to talk about it. Let’s just say I was lost in thought about the pranks that have been happening at the ranch.”
He stared at me for a bit before nodding. “Fine. I survived them by beating them at their own game. They had already started drawing up plans to punish me. I just talked them through all the problems and reasons why it would never work. They were impressed. They asked me to come to their meeting next week.”
My mouth fell open. “You’re kidding.”
He smiled at me as our drinks appeared in front of us and I thanked the waitress. “I’m not. They love me.”
I snorted. “They’re crazy.”
“I’m going to act like you didn’t say that.” He hesitated and then looked up at me through his long lashes. “So, Lace. Want to visit the barn with me tonight?”
My body did. Damn, it did. I knew better, though. I couldn’t let myself get used to kissing the enigmatic man. “I can’t.”
He frowned, but our food was placed in front of us before he could say anything else. Once the waitress had disappeared again, though, he tucked into me. “Why not?”
I forced myself to take a bite of the chicken fried steak. It was good, as always, but my stomach was clenched and putting food in it wasn’t helping. “I thought you were leaving. It would be too complicated with you sticking around, Jagger.”
“So, if I was going back home, you’d be okay with meeting me in the barn again?”
I put my fork down and met his stare. His pale blue eyes were locked onto me and I couldn’t help but think he would be formidable if he ever had to interrogate someone. “Maybe. I don’t know. Things got messy. It was supposed to be an outlet to get my stress out but now you’re sticking around. I’m struggling to hold my shit together as it is. I have to doubt that mixing sex in would help me keep things straight.”
He looked annoyed, but finally nodded. “I guess I have to appreciate how honest you’re being. Can’t say it feels good to be considered only good for a one night stand, though.”
“Come on, Jag. How many women have you done the same thing to?”
His reply was so low that I had to lean in to hear him. “Before I left the SEALs? More than I care to count.”
“And after?”
He pushed his plate away and wiped his mouth with a napkin. “None. It’s hard to seduce a woman when your body doesn’t want to work with you. Fuck.”
Before I could say anything else, he stood up and pulled out his wallet. “I’m going to head out and check on my bike. Take your time finishing your dinner. I’ll be outside when you’re ready.”
I watched him go with my stomach clenching even tighter. I shoved my plate away and leaned back with a heavy sigh. There was no way I was touching anything else. I felt like I was going to be sick. I didn’t know what he’d meant with his words, but the look in his eyes was so damaged and hurt that it’d been about as subtle as a slap in the face.
I didn’t want to see Jagger as anything more than the man in the lawn chair, tanning in the middle of a work day. It was easier to dismiss him that way. I didn’t have it in me to look at him as more than that. He wasn’t a permanent fixture on the ranch, anyway. He’d be gone as soon as we figured out what was happening. Then he’d be someone else’s problem.
I pushed away from the table and headed out. On the street, I looked around and tried to make sense of what all was happening.
Who would think it would be funny to mess with my family? An image of Franklin popped into my head but I knew it was my own prejudice that made me think of him. He had nothing to gain from messing with us. If anything, he had everything to lose. Dad could break the contract at any time and then Franklin and his rich buddies would be out of luck.
A loud roar sounded out and then Jagger pulled up beside me. “Want a ride?”
I couldn’t help but smile at him. “If you want to give me one?”
He offered me the helmet but I shook my head. “I want to feel the wind.”
He stared at me for a few seconds and then nodded. “Okay. Get on.”
I threw my leg over the bike and immediately wrapped my arms around his waist. I scooted my body to rest flush against his and pressed my bare face between his shoulder blades. It was alarmingly natural to be that close to him. There was the constant, underlying desire, but there was a comfort that came from being on his bike with him. Stupid.
Jagger reached back and squeezed my hip. “How about a ride?”
I thought of all the things I needed to do back at the ranch. There was a list running through my head at all times, but I wanted to be free for a few seconds. I wanted to feel the wind rush through my hair and feel like I was on the run, without the stress of the ranch on my shoulders.
“Go.”