I chased after him and got in front of him, holding up my hands. I was breathing heavily from trying to catch up, but that didn’t stop me from yelling at him. “Let me get this straight. You were that awful to me and are still holding a grudge against me, who was ten years old, because my mom ran off with your dad?”
His eyes flashed and his body practically vibrated with anger. “My dad was the only thing standing between me and my crazy-ass mom. He ran off and I got my ass beat every single day. At sixteen, I couldn’t stop her. She was insane. And it’s your fucking family’s fault. Your slut mother and your druggie dad.”
I stood toe-to-toe with him and experienced my own wave of anger. “I’m sorry you had to deal with that, Jackson. I really am. Your mom needed help and your dad was wrong to leave you to deal with it. But you don’t know anything about me and my family. I feel bad for you, but I didn’t have it any better. You think life with my dad was a piece of cake?”
He rolled his eyes. “This is where you tell me your crackhead daddy had the energy to get up and beat you until you couldn’t move, right?”
I slapped him. “You don’t deserve to hear what my crackhead daddy did to me when he was coming down from a high every single morning. I’m not going to do this with you. You think you’re the only one who suffered; you’re so self-centered! And to blame me for what our parents did! Jesus, Jackson, you think I wanted her to leave? Your dad wasn’t the only one of them blocking their kid from the other parent. Fuck you.
“I never say that, Jackson, but I mean it. Fuck you. You’re the worst. You’re worse than Raptor. He doesn’t even hate me and want me to suffer as much as you do.”
Tears trickled down my face, but I ignored them as I moved around him and rushed back into the kitchen. Old grief reared its ugly head and I fought to swallow it back down.
I slapped the sandwiches together and then shoved them to the center of the island and hurried out of the house with my bag of stuff to fix the swing.
Jackson wasn’t anywhere around and I hoped he’d gone. I didn’t want to ever see him again.
I managed to smash my finger more than once and the old wood gave me a deep splinter that I spent thirty minutes trying to dig out. That made me dig the sand paper strips out and work my fingers to stiff, aching twigs to smooth out the weathered wood. When I finished, I was hurting, but the swing was sturdier and looked a lot better.
My heart had finally started beating normally and I’d stopped crying sometime during the work. Feeling more like myself again, I climbed the stairs and knocked on Micah’s door.
He opened it right away and frowned. “I saw you fixing the swing. You looked sad.”
I nodded. “I was sad. Want to come sit on it with me? Worst case scenario, we tumble out of it.”
That got a ghost of a smile. “Okay.”
He followed me downstairs and I stopped in the kitchen to grab him a sandwich and a drink. I grabbed one for myself and then we both trailed out to the swing.
He took a bite of his sandwich and talked with his mouth full. “Were you sad from fighting with Jackson?”
I frowned. “You saw that, too?”
“I left my book downstairs. I didn’t have anything else to do. Did he say something mean to you?”
I looked out at the land and blew out a breath. “We have a bad history. Lots of bad stuff happened to us when we were young. We both have issues from it and it makes us angry at each other.”
“So, he said something mean to you again?”
I laughed and brushed my hand through his hair. “I’m sorry we upset you in town. We were being childish and I can see how that would be embarrassing.”
He groaned. “Kate thought it was cute. She said you guys looked hot together.”
Yep, that was more embarrassing. I rubbed my cheeks as they warmed and took a long drink of water. “That bothered you?”
He shrugged a shoulder and then looked up at me, his big eyes full of tears. “It wasn’t the first time Mom left me, you know?”
Shaking my head, I slipped my arm around him and scooted closer. The swing groaned and I froze, suddenly paranoid. When we didn’t fall, I forgot it. “At the club?”
“She left me all the time. She always had boyfriends and I guess they didn’t like me. She’d run off with them and leave me wherever.”
I wanted to call her names, but I could attest to not liking hearing your mother badmouthed, no matter how awful she was. “I’m sorry, Micah. You really didn’t deserve that.”
He tossed the rest of his sandwich to Deli. “I saw you with him and I guess I got worried. I don’t want you to go anywhere.”
My heart shattered into a million little pieces and I swore under my breath as a crushing pain swept through me. I grabbed him and pulled him into me. “I could never leave you. Never in a million years. You’re stuck with me. I might follow you to whatever college you choose, that’s how serious I am about wanting to be with you, Micah. When I say I love you, I mean I love you forever. No skipping days. No goodbyes.”
By the time I finished, I was crying and blubbering all over him. He hugged me tight and then pushed me off. “You’re snotting on me, Cammie. I love you, too. I glad you found me.”
I watched as he got up and ran to the kitchen door. My chest felt like it’d cracked open and I wasn’t sure there would be enough tape to ever get it closed again.
“I’m going to get my book so I can tell you about it!”
I nodded and looked down at Deli. “He steal your heart, too?”
Deli barked and then got up and ran to Micah when he appeared again. Yep.
I waited until Micah finished telling me about his book to lean over and nudge him with my shoulder. “So…Kate, huh?”
His cheeks turned red and he groaned. “You’re going to be weird about this, aren’t you?”
I laughed. “Uh huh. Really weird. Tell me about her.”
*
Later that night, I was packing up the leftover roast when I heard the door open. My heart leapt into my chest and I was already halfway up the stairs when Jackson cleared his throat. I spun around and slipped, landing on my butt and sliding down a few steps.
I groaned and pulled myself to my feet. “What are you doing?”
“I’m not leaving. Did you think I was?”
I gingerly stepped down the last few steps and limped into the kitchen. My butt and backed protested, but I couldn’t just stand there with Jackson staring at me. “I did think you were. It seemed like the best choice for us.”
He followed me into the kitchen and leaned against the counter as I shoved stuff in the fridge with shaking hands.
“I’m here to protect you, no matter what our issues are.”
I cut my eyes to him. “We do not have issues. You have issues.”
He caught my arm when I tried to move past him and pulled me to a stop. He gently grabbed the back of my shirt and pulled it up. “That’s going to leave a bruise.”
I turned and slapped his hand. “Keep your hands to yourself.”
“You’re going to hold a grudge, aren’t you?”
I laughed. “I’m taking my room back. You can sleep on the couch if you insist on staying.”
He grunted and grabbed my shirt again. “You need to put ice on this.”
I slapped his hand away again. “To clarify, I’m holding a grudge.”
Jackson let me slip away and grunted.
I turned back to face him and threw my hands in the air, frustration bubbling over in me. “What does that mean? All you do is grunt. I can’t believe I’m asking this, considering how mean the words you say are, but use your words!”
His mouth tilted in a smile and he looked thoroughly amused. “You don’t want me to use my words.”
I narrowed my eyes and put my hands on my hips. “If I didn’t want that, I wouldn’t have said it.”
He stood up to his full height and looked down at me. “I’m not ready to get over my issues just yet. I’ve held onto them for a long time and I’m going to need more than a slap and a nasty reality check to just let it all go. I’m not ready to say sorry, but I’m ready to find out if your mouth is soft as it feels. You’re so mad right now and all I can think about is finding the one solid surface in this place to fuck you on.”
My face flamed and I felt hot moisture gather at my core. I’d heard worse in the club, but his gravelly voice was like a tongue across my flushed skin. My mouth flapped as my brain yelled at me to say something.
Jackson laughed an easy laugh that made his eyes twinkle like stars in a midnight sky. “Told you.”
My feet moved towards him and, honestly, I was happy one part of me was doing what I wanted. My mouth sure wasn’t. “You like roast.”
I slapped my hand over my mouth and moved across the kitchen as Jackson’s loud laughter rang out. I wasn’t sure I’d ever heard him laugh that hard and it would figure it was because I was an idiot. “I mean… Forget it. Obviously, it wasn’t a great idea.”
I turned to the sink and turned on the water to wash my hands. “I mean, I’m still holding a grudge against you and you’re working through that stuff, so it wouldn’t”
Large hands skimmed over my hips as a hot, hard body pressed against me. His hands curved around to caress my stomach and then rested over my rib cage, just under my chest. “It’s a great idea.”`
I tried to remain strong, but as his mouth moved over the side of my head, his beard catching my hair and gently tugging it, I lost it. I relaxed back into him, feeling his solid form grow even harder against my butt.
“You could share that bed with me. It’s small, but we could find creative ways to save space.” His mouth lowered to my ear and his teeth nipped it as he continued destroying me. “You could be on top. I bet you’d like that, having me completely at your mercy.”
I looked over my shoulder at him and licked my lips. I was opening my mouth to say something when he stepped away from me, a regretful look on his face.
“Let me know when you’re ready, Cammie.” He turned his head to the doorway and smiled when Micah walked in.
I turned back to the sink and went through the motions of washing my hands. I felt like Jackson had turned me into putty and left me to move around on my own. It was cruel. My legs shook and my pulse fluttered at my throat as I turned to face Micah.
He was in the freezer, rifling though it. “Where’s the ice cream sandwich I was saving?”
I choked on the saliva that seemed to be pooling in my mouth at the idea of going to bed with Jackson. I’d eaten the ice cream earlier. I turned to Micah and found him staring at me with his arms crossed over his chest. “I’m sorry.”
Jackson laughed while Micah just shook his head. Suddenly, I felt outnumbered.