Chapter 10
One month to go. We completed our last birthing class, and now all we had to do was wait for the new arrival. Supposedly, we were prepared, though I didn’t know how you can really be ready for something as monumental as the birth of your first child. I tried to act confident around Annie and family, but I was scared pretty shitless.
I expressed my concerns to Dalton one day at work, and his usual know-it-all look took on a whole new dimension when he said, “The first time you hold that baby, your life changes, dude. I can’t explain it, but you’ll see. Oh hell yeah, it’s scary at first, but you figure it out, and it’s great. Stop worrying about it. It doesn’t help.”
From the beginning, Annie forged through like a trooper. She never missed school, but toward the end, she would come home just exhausted. We either grabbed a sandwich somewhere or suffered through my attempts to put a meal together.
I got my new grill, an early birthday present from Annie. I also got the bad news that our deck wasn’t as sound as I’d hoped. It would be on the projects list, which I learned only grew longer on a daily basis for a new homeowner.
There never was a dull moment at work. A few small assignments kept us busy, but for a couple of weeks we’d been hearing rumors about something big in the pipeline. Around the end of April, the boss pulled together the entire crew. He told us a medical device company wanted to collaborate with us on a new precision surgical tool that could potentially send our company in a whole new direction.
As part of the preparation, we would be required to go down to their company headquarters in Milwaukee for a day-long introduction, a “here’s-what-we’re-hoping-to-do” type meeting. Since we all couldn’t go at once, we were divided up into two groups. I was assigned to go with Brent, Callie, and a few others. The day of my meeting landed only a week before Little Beanie’s due date. I really didn’t want to be away, especially not with Callie around.
The night before my Milwaukee trip, we were getting ready for bed. I sat watching Annie. “You’re so beautiful,” I told her as she posed in front of the mirror. She smiled as she scooped up her flowery, flowing night gown around her very pregnant belly. I grabbed my phone and said, “Picture time.”
“I’ve often wondered if you need glasses, babe,” she remarked. Slipping off the edge of the bed, I strolled up behind her, wearing only my underwear. One of my hands covered hers around her stomach, and I rested my chin on her shoulder and grinned at our reflections, snapping the picture in the mirror.
I checked the digital image and approved, showing it to her. “One week away. I’m so excited! God, I hope we make good parents. We don’t know anything about raising a kid.”
“A little late to worry about that now, Mike.” She turned around, placing her cheek on my chest and expanding her lungs with her breath. “Ummm, how long did the doctor say we have to wait after I deliver?” She moved her belly suggestively where our bodies touched.
“You always were a tease, Mrs. Jarrid. So everything’s ready? You’re packed, have the baby stuff—?”
“Yes and yes. Mike? I love you.”
Taking her hand, I moved back to the bed and sat down, pulling her into my lap.
I kissed the top of her head, next to her ear, eye and cheek. “I love you. I’m so happy you were such a lousy skier that I knocked you into a ditch.” She giggled and elbowed me in the ribs. “I’m happy I got to know you and that you waited for me to work through all my shit. I love that you’re my wife and that we’re about to have the most awesome kid.” I kissed her head again, then whispered, “Come here.” When she tipped her chin toward me, my lips brushed hers softly, then a second and third time much more passionately.
“Mike, don’t start something we can’t finish—”
~ ~ ~
Annie’s water broke in the kitchen the following morning, a week early. Luckily, I hadn’t left for work yet. I freaked out. I made her sit down, got her some dry sweats, helped pull them up, and slipped a pair of flip-flops on her feet. The puddle on the floor was covered with a bath towel, then I got the baby’s bag and hers in the car and came back for Annie. I opened the passenger door, and we stood hugging for a minute. “Here we go!” I said, forcing a grin. She smiled back until a labor pain hit and spurred me into overdrive.
We settled into a birthing suite and got her hooked up to a monitor and an IV. Annie didn’t want to do the epidural. As her pains intensified, it was hard to watch her, and I knew I brought it up more than once. Finally, she agreed. When it was in place for a bit, she seemed a lot more comfortable, even chatty. I called both our parents when we first got to the hospital, promising to update them as the day wore on. It was only nine in the morning, and we’d been there about three hours. Of course, I called our employers, and everyone sent wishes for a speedy delivery and healthy baby.
Four hours later, at 1:07 p.m. and after intense contractions and a bunch of epic pushes, I cut the cord and stood in full-blown amazement with our baby girl in my hands. The tiny infant squalled, her eyes squeezed shut, and her fists clenched. But she was pink, and from what I could tell, had all her parts. They were still wiping her off as Olivia, one of the nurses, guided me up to Annie’s head. Her gown had been loosened, and I placed the baby right on her chest, skin to skin.
Shaken and teary, I admired the little miracle I’d helped to create. “You did it, honey! She’s beautiful—a little girl.”
Annie’s hands took over and cuddled the baby just under her chin, a soft blanket covering them. I leaned in to kiss them both. Brushing Annie’s hair back, I kissed her forehead, each of us overwhelmed with emotion. “You were incredible. I’m so proud of you.”
“Oh, baby girl! You just made us the happiest people in the world,” she whispered as she kissed the fuzzy little head and patted her. Her little bit of hair had a red tinge to it. As she settled down with her mommy’s soothing touch, big, deep blue eyes peered out, wondrously trying to focus on her surroundings. By now we were both just giddy.
I took out my phone and snapped a couple of pictures, then one of the nurses offered to take some of the three of us. That was the first time I really took my eyes off of Annie and the baby and noticed the doctor still busy down at the other end. They hadn’t completely cleaned up the bloody mess from childbirth. I looked away. Oh, my poor wife. The baby weighed eight pounds, ten ounces, measuring twenty-one inches. She was solid, like her mama. We finally got her back.
The nurse gave me a chair, and I sat as close as I could get, never not touching one of them. All of a sudden, I remembered I needed to call the families with the news. I talked to Mom, who said she would be up here when school let out. Annie’s mom didn’t pick up. Really? Your only child just had a baby, and you’re too busy to answer your phone? I left a vague message calling her “Grandma”.
It seemed to take them a really long time, but finally they were finished with whatever they seemed to be reconstructing down there. The delivery table turned back into a bed and the room converted into our little suite once again.
I picked up the hand that was closest to me and asked, “Well, what are we going to name her?”
Annie slipped her hand out of mine and lifted the baby up to get her first really good look at her. “Wow, she’s perfect, isn’t she? She’s got your eyes, I was hoping for that.” She placed her back down, next to her breast. “She looks like a Sadie to me.”
“She’s perfect. I think she looks just like you, and Sadie is a sweet name. It fits her.” After what I witnessed today, she could have named her Banana and I wouldn’t have cared. Sadie started nuzzling her face into Annie’s breast.
“Oh, my gosh, do you think she’s hungry? Is it okay for me to let her nurse?”
I shrugged and hit the call light. I sure wasn’t going to take the chance of telling her something wrong. Olivia came right away and assured us this was normal, natural, and even encouraged.
She helped Annie position the baby. Her grimace and the little yelp she let out when the baby latched on made me wince. I could only imagine how it felt.
“Oh, wow, that’s going to take getting used to,” she said. Then she eased into a smile as the nurse praised mother and child for their great effort. She had me sit on the side of the bed and told me to watch the baby and make sure that if Sadie let loose, her mouth was in the right position when she reattached. Nodding, I accepted this big responsibility with courage. Annie was biting her lip and smiling at me. “Think you can handle all that?”
“Oh, yeah,” I replied, leaning over to kiss her cheek, then I kissed Sadie’s head. “I love you. You are one strong woman!”
“Aw, thanks babe. I love you, too.” After the nurse left, I sat staring at the suckling baby, then at Annie. My heart felt like it was going to burst or overflow.
“You’ve been staring at these gigantic boobs way too long. I know you want to touch them.”
I burst out laughing. “I haven’t, well, kind of hard not to notice them—”
“Go ahead. Just be gentle,” she told me.
Turning more serious, I reached a hand over and touched one of her rock hard breasts. “Oh, geez,” I sympathized, “they must be so painful—but you’re so beautiful. I think I’m the luckiest man alive.”
She lowered her eyes, a picture of demure and grace.
Once Sadie was fed, they took her to the nursery for a bit. Annie let out a tired sigh. I thought this might be a good time to run home and throw together the things I should’ve brought for myself, hoping she would sleep.
When I returned, an hour later, Sadie had been cleaned up, diapered, dressed in a little gown and a pink hat, wrapped in a blanket, and placed back in her mother’s arms.
“Hey,” I said, kissing Annie’s forehead and the baby’s. “I thought you were going to rest.”
“I asked for her back. I just needed to hold her.” Then she lifted her toward me. “I know I have to learn to share. Your turn!” Taking a deep breath, I put out my hands and took our precious little bundle. I sat with her in a recliner positioned next to the bed. She soundly slept. It didn’t take long before and Annie was out, too. I spent the time transfixed by this tiny being who already wormed her way into my heart in a way I couldn’t put into words. Our little blessing.
I heard a tap at the door, and it opened. Moving into the room bearing flowers and presents breezed Margo. She glanced at her sleeping daughter as she emptied her hands and set down her purse, then she came over to me with tears in her eyes.
“I canceled everything and caught the first flight out when you called that she had come to the hospital. Oh, a pink hat. A little girl? Oh, Mike, she’s gorgeous! She looks just like Annie did when she was born.” She gave me a hug and kissed my cheek, then said, “May I?” I handed her over.
“Her name is Sadie.”
Not long after that, my mom came, then more family and friends. At least Annie had managed to squeeze in a little nap. She glowed as she opened more baby gifts, this time a slew of pink and frills. A different nurse introduced herself and asked everyone but me to step out so she could check over her patient. Once again, I had Sadie back in my possession. My moment didn’t last for long as Annie was encouraged to try to get Sadie to take a little nourishment.
More visitors rotated into our suite that evening. Julie and Pete, Dalton and his family, and my parents all finally went home, but Margo stayed on and on. Annie could hardly keep her eyes open, and the baby needed to be fed again, so we said good night to Margo and closed the door. I pulled on some sweat pants and a T-shirt, then climbed into bed next to Annie with my arm around her.
“Are you doing okay?” I asked her, touching my lips to her temple.
“I’m good.” I knew she was hurting in more than one place. When Sadie finished nursing, Annie set her down on her legs and unwrapped her. Getting out my phone, I made a video as we marveled together at the wonder of her. The tiniest of toenails, the strength of her grip, the sounds she made, all were unique to her. I stopped when Annie asked me to get a diaper. She changed her, carefully swaddled her, and then handed her over for me to put her in her little cart next to the bed.
“I suppose I better use the bathroom before I go to sleep,” she said. I came over to help her. Annie tried to protest my assistance, but I gave her my arm anyway. Once I tucked her in, I washed up and lay down on the couch.
Around one in the morning, I awoke to the sound of the baby whimpering and Annie moving around in bed, getting herself into a sitting position. I sat up, and she put the light on above the head of the bed.
“I wonder if I can take a break and get a bottle for her?” she asked. I pushed the call light and made the request. When the nurse came in with a little bottle of formula, I was holding Sadie, sitting next to Annie on her bed. After a few pointers, I eased the nipple into her mouth, and Sadie did the rest. She was a natural.
Annie looped one arm through my bent arm holding the baby. Her other hand had been on Sadie’s head, but she moved it up to my face. “You’ve never looked sexier to me, Michael Jarrid.”
I winced.
“I’m serious. The look on your face when you stare into her eyes is pure love, and you look hot!”
Leaning over, I kissed the side of her head. She snuggled against my shoulder until Sadie had taken a little over an ounce and decided she was done. A half-hour later, all three of us were asleep.
In the morning, Annie nursed again, and we were getting ready for a visit from the lactation specialist when Annie needed to use the bathroom. As she sat up, she shook her head, like someone clearing the cobwebs. In a flash, I moved to her side. “You all right?”
“Yeah, just a little foggy. I’m fine.” As she stood up, I took a hold of her arm and walked her in, helping her pull down the pants she’d insisted on wearing. Once she sat on the toilet, I stepped out, staying right outside the door. She seemed to be taking a long time, then all of a sudden I heard a gasp and the clattering of something falling.
“Mike?”