Chapter 26
To say our relationship stepped up another level with our last visit wasn’t too strong a statement. I hardly slept that final night, and not because somebody was stalking me in my bed. There was so much to think about. So much had been spoken, but nothing had been resolved, except that we both were committed to be together.
I gathered up my daughter, profusely thanking Margo for watching her. She reciprocated her thanks for giving her the opportunity. We barely made it to the airport on time because of a long line at the rental place for the return. By the time we made it home, I was exhausted, and Sadie didn’t want to go to bed. The traveling was killing me, and we had the ski trip coming up in less than a month.
In the middle of the following week, Mom called to say she was making lasagna for dinner on Thursday and was wondering if Sadie and I would like to come over. Oh, heck yeah!
Papa entertained the little one in the living room while I sat at the island visiting with Mom. She asked me how things were going with Lacey, telling me again how gracious it was of Lacey to bring gifts and help with clean-up on our New Year’s visit. They were starting to accept her, I could tell.
“It’s getting really serious, Mom. Like we’re talking about where we want to live and stuff. Mom—she told me she wants to have another baby. It’s freaking me out.”
She stopped fussing with the salad fixings. “Well, that’s understandable, honey. What did you say?”
“I didn’t really say anything. I was in shock. It didn’t even occur to me that she might want another kid—I mean, Matt’s eight already.”
“Mike—at least she told you now. It would be really nice for Sadie to have siblings, don’t you think?”
“I guess. But what if something goes wrong?” My throat got thick, and I swallowed past the lump there. “I couldn’t go through that again.” A tear ran down my cheek. I turned away from her, brushing at it.
She came to my side of the island and put her arms around me. “Oh, my baby. It’s still so hard for you.” She patted my back and kissed the side of my head. “What happened to Annie was such a rare thing. It’s not going to happen again. Lacey will be fine.”
“We don’t know that, Mom!”
Placing her hands on my shoulders, she brought her gaze to meet my troubled eyes. “You can’t live your life being afraid of what might happen. You’ll miss out on too much of the good stuff. Honey, you’ve been so happy since you got back together with her, would you really risk that now? I know another child is a big decision. There’s no guarantees she’ll even get pregnant. But you’re a wonderful daddy. I’m sure she sees that. There’s always room for another grandchild.” She smiled at me. “You have to decide.”
I nodded. “I love you, Mom.” A quick hug followed. “Thanks.” Just bouncing it off of her made me feel better. I considered bringing up my dubious relationship with Matthew but thought better of it. One dilemma at a time.
Valentine’s Day came and went with my sweetheart hundreds of miles from me. Talking on the phone somehow wasn’t the same as a romantic dinner and whatever might follow. I did send her a sentimental card and wrote her a note about what she meant to me. And I got one back that was almost as mushy as mine. She’d even put a lipstick kiss on it. In addition, she sent Sadie a valentine that had a duckling on it. Sadie loved it. She ran around quacking for the rest of the night.
After researching the airlines about rules for bringing ski equipment, I went shopping to get carriers for my gear. Since it was nearing the end of the season, I got everything on sale. A return trip to the jewelry store was also on the agenda.
Dalton and Lucy were lined up to watch Sadie. Mom and Dad decided to go to Florida for a couple of weeks, and I had finally run out of excuses to not have her stay with the Strebachs. Besides, Sadie and the little bruiser Finn seemed to be getting along better these days.
My flight was set for early Friday morning. I took the whole of Thursday off as well as Monday. The Wednesday night before my flight, my phone buzzed.
“Dude, I was just getting Sadie’s things together for the big weekend with you guys,” I said as I crammed a few of her favorite toys into one of three bags I’d started for her.
“Yeah, that’s why I’m calling, Mike.” I could tell by his voice that this wasn’t good news. “Finn came down with a really bad cold or something today. Lucy had to get him from daycare. He’s been coughing and crying, has a fever, and shit is pouring out of his nose. He’s miserable. We can’t expose Sadie to whatever this is. I’m so sorry!”
“Uh, no, Dalton, don’t worry about it. I can find someone else. I’ll see you at work tomorrow, and I sure hope the little guy is feeling better soon!” Stay calm, it will be okay, I told myself. All I really wanted to do was throw something. Of all the times for things to fall apart! This just cannot be happening!
With my phone in my hand, I walked out of Sadie’s room to find her methodically taking every piece of paper out of my bill folder and dropping it, taking much delight in the way it fluttered down to join a growing pile on the floor.
“Sadie, no!” I yelled, scaring her half to death. Next she was wailing, and I wanted to bang my head against a wall. It was my fault for leaving the damn folder where she could get at it, no wonder she was being so quiet. Picking her up, I calmed her down. With her still in my arms, I hit Pete’s contact. “Hey, man. Dalton just ditched on watching Sadie for my big ski weekend with Lacey. I was wondering—”
“Sorry, Mike, remember? We’re headed out of town for Julie’s brother’s wedding in LaCrosse.”
“Oh, crap, I forgot! Listen, have a great time, and I’ll talk to you when you get back.” I tapped “end call.” “Damn it!” Sadie looked at me, wondering if I was going to start screaming again. I kissed her head, then set her down by her toys, telling her to stay away from the papers. Tom and Sheri had their hands full with baby Kylie, so I couldn’t ask them. Just then, my phone buzzed.
“Lacey, hi!” I said, maybe too enthusiastically, but I didn’t want to worry her with my latest turn of events.
“Oh, Michael, it’s so good to hear your voice—but what’s wrong?”
Are you frickin’ kidding me, only two words out of my mouth and she can tell?
“Um, nothing, really. Sadie just made a heap of all my bills I had so nicely organized in a folder.” The sound of her laughter lifted my spirits a little. “I miss you, Lace.”
“I miss you, too. Two more days! We’ve had snow in the mountains the last three nights, so conditions should be great.”
“Can’t wait!” I was doing my best. “Lace, would it be okay if I call you later? I really do have to deal with this mess. I love you!”
Mark! I must’ve been desperate to even consider him. I touched his number, then hung up before it had a chance to ring. Couldn’t do it. He’d never watched her before, I’d be worried the whole time. Back to Tom and Sheri, please, God, let this work!
“Hi, Kellie, is your Dad home?” I could hear her telling him who was on the phone. “Hey, Tom—how’s it going?” We made small talk for a few minutes then I finally worked up the courage to ask him.
After hesitating for a few seconds, he said, “Let me talk it over with Sheri. I’ll call you back.” I busied myself picking up Sadie’s messy creation. By the time I finished, Tom called. He said yes!
“Tom, thank you so much, you have no idea what this means to me! I owe you, big-time. Thank you!”
A while later, I called Lacey. I told her about my most recent drama with the sitters, and now I could be genuinely excited about our visit. “First thing on the to-do list is me ravaging you—or you can ravage me, I’ll let you decide your preference. I can’t wait to see you!”
“Oooh, Michael. I ache for you.”
~ ~ ~
It was snowing, just enough to make driving a little hairy. Lacey happily gave up the driver’s seat when she met me at the terminal. We headed right to the resort from the airport just under two hours away. We arrived in the late afternoon and unloaded our gear, hauling it to our room on the second floor. Once finished, I grabbed Lacey and fell back on the bed, pulling her on top of me. We made out, talked, laughed, made out some more, then we went to check out the place. I was looking for just the right spot.
The complex had a lot to offer. There was a restaurant and bar, a huge lobby with a big fireplace and a cozy atmosphere, a pool, and a workout room. Outside, there was an area that had hot tubs, like four of them, partitioned by ceramic walls for a bit of privacy. I think I found it.
“Tomorrow, after we ski, we’re going out there,” I told her. Kissing her hand, I continued, “It’ll feel so good on our abused bodies.” Several people lounged out there right now. I hoped when it was our turn, we’d have one to ourselves.
“It’ll be cold. I don’t want to do that.”
“Lacey, they’re hot tubs. Hot. Not cold. Besides, I’ll keep you warm.”
She rolled her eyes at me.
We ate dinner at a café we spotted on the way into town. Then we came back to our room and made good on the ravaging promise, enjoying every hour. We fell asleep in each other’s arms.
The skiing was otherworldly. I hadn’t been since Annie and I had gone three years ago, so I started out with a little caution. Lacey teased me for wanting to begin on a blue run. She led, I followed. She hit little jumps, going at full speed almost straight down, stopping a time or two to wait for me to catch up. Apparently she had taught Matt how to ski recently.
At the bottom, I threw my arm around her shoulder and hugged her. “Holy crap, girl!” The rest of the day we tore it up, black diamonds all the way, my legs aching with fatigue. We stayed out until the lifts shut down. Evening descended.
Back in our room, we sat on the bed with her between my legs and my arms around her. I’d brought wine. We sipped and talked and kissed. When I shifted her off of me so that I could use the bathroom, my legs hurt so bad I could hardly walk.
“Geez, if you have any hope for skiing tomorrow, we better hit that hot tub soon.”
“You’re really going to make me do this?” she pouted.
“If you want me to be able to move tomorrow, yes—come on! It’ll be fun. And I get to maul you in your skimpy swim suit.”
“I brought a T-shirt and shorts, Michael.”
My face fell until she started laughing. “You’re pathetic. Do you ever get enough?”
Searching through my duffel, I came out with my trunks and a hoodie and brought them with me into the bathroom to change while she got her suit on in the room. When I came out, she had a black cover-up on, and I pulled her against me, running my hands all the way down her back and up again. We kissed, and I moved away before we’d have to just stay in the room and finish what we started. She grabbed two towels, and I filled two plastic cups half full with wine, and we padded down the hall, flip-flops making slapping sounds as we moved toward the exit.
Oh, yeah, it was cold out there! Hardly anyone lingered outside, so we had a tub all to ourselves. Stripping off my shirt, I quickly went down the steps and sank into the steamy water. Lacey stood on the edge, shivering so hard her whole body was shaking.
“Get in here!” I commanded with a smile. “The water is wonderful, you won’t even notice the cold.” Finally, she shed her cover and revealed a tiny little two-piece. Coming down the steps, I swept her into my arms and hugged her against me until she stopped shaking. We sat with her on my lap, talking softly, sipping our wine, stealing kisses and a little more. It was dark out except for the area lights that set off a subtle glow. Just then, it began to snow, big light fluffy flakes floating against the night-time back drop.
“You’re right, Michael, I don’t feel cold at all. This is just so beautiful, almost surreal. It’s magical.” We kissed some more. The mood was perfect. My heart sledged against my ribs, and I started getting a little fidgety. I tried to keep my knees from trembling, but I couldn’t. I kept looking into her eyes and smiling, then I had to look away. My hands started shaking.
“Michael—do you have to pee or something?” she asked with a giggle. “Quit fidgeting.” And I kissed her cheek.
“No—come with me.” Slipping her off my legs, I took her hands, leading her the few feet over to the stairs we’d come down to enter. I had her sit on one of the top steps. She started to protest, because her shoulders were out of the water as snow fell on us, but I put my finger on her lips.
Taking her hands, I squeezed them together in mine, standing in front of her. “Lacey, I love you. I want you to be in my life, every day, forever! I want to be the man you deserve. I know we don’t have everything figured out yet, but I know I want you to be a mother to Sadie, and I want to be a dad to Matt if he’ll let me. We’re meant to be together and—”
Digging into the tiny mesh pocket inside the waist of my suit, I came out with a ring. She was already crying. Bending down on one knee on the step below her, I asked, “Lacey, will you marry me?” I had her hand in mine, and I slipped the ring on her finger. Her whole body trembled, this time not just from the temperature.
“Michael! Yes! Yes!” Her hands went up to cup my face. I pulled her back into the water, and our lips met. Our tongues collided and tasted the wine mixed with the saltiness of the water. “I love you!” she sobbed, her lips still touching mine. Her legs came up around my waist, and we twirled around as my arms pressed her against my body. I felt whole again for the first time after Annie, and that felt incredible. It had been such a long time.
“Now you know why I was such a wreck when I thought the plans had fallen through for a sitter for Sadie. I don’t know what I would have done! I so wanted to do this!” We sat back down, and she settled in my lap, one arm around my neck and the other holding the ring up to admire.
“It’s perfect, Michael,” she said, looking it over. “It’s gorgeous. This night couldn’t be more romantic, and my future husband is in my arms. I love you, and we’re going to make an awesome family—back in Wisconsin, when the time comes.”
“Really?” My hands were on either side of her head. “You’re willing to come back?” I broke up. She was laughing and crying with me as she tried to wipe my face with her wet hands. “Lacey, oh, Lacey, I love you so much!” Another kiss, then I whispered, “Oh my God! We’re actually doing this!”
Officially engaged. Had a nice ring to it—pun intended. Looking like a couple of prunes, we finally got out of the hot tub and dashed back into the warmth of the building. Lacey slipped into her cover-up, and I threw both towels around her as we hurried up to our room. She jumped in the shower while I cranked up the heat in our room and sat with the damp towels around me, waiting for her to finish. After my turn, we dressed in the fanciest clothes we’d brought, which were super casual, and went to dine in the upscale restaurant at the resort. Lacey joked she ought to put her arm in a sling to draw attention to her recently acquired bauble.
Over dinner, we talked about the future—our future— together. “I don’t want to drag this out,” I said. “The sooner the better, at least for me.”
“Me too,” she agreed, “and I want something small and intimate. No tuxes or fancy dress, just us and those closest to us. And the kids, of course.”
“I think we should get married here in Vermont,” I offered. It was the least I could do. After all, she was willing to relocate for me.
“That’s sweet, Michael. Maybe outdoors, in a park in Montpelier. One that has a shelter in case the weather is bad.”
“Sounds good to me. When?”
“What about Memorial Day weekend? It’ll give us an extra day. Oh, my gosh, Michael, that’s only three months away! There’s so much we don’t even know about each other. Like religion. Do you belong to a church? Do you go? There’s so much we need to talk about!”
Taking her hand, I smiled, trying to reassure her. “God and I hit a few rough spots after Annie died, but I think we’re okay now. I’m Lutheran, and Sadie was baptized. We go now and then. How about you?”
“We’re Methodist. Our pastor is old and set in his ways, so I tried a community church. Matt goes to Sunday school. My mom usually takes him, because I’m sort of a slacker. I do think it’s important, though, to have that foundation.”
“Good, we agree on the basics. Every detail doesn’t need to be set in stone. It’s going to take us a while to blend our lives together, and that’s okay.”
She smiled at me and nodded. “You’re right—that’s twice tonight!”
“Another reason this day was extra special.”
Back in our room, I collapsed on the bed only to have Lacey haul me back up to a sitting position. Grabbing her phone, she plunked down next to me. She then pressed her lips against my cheek and held up the ring as she clicked the camera button. We both chuckled at the picture, and she sent it off to Julie, with a message to keep it quiet.
A few seconds later she got back, “OMG!!!! Congratulations you guys, so happy for you!” and a string of smileys and hearts.
“I need to tell my parents now, because I won’t see them until their trip is over,” I said. I made her take another selfie, this time with my phone. It featured our smiling faces pushed cheek to cheek, and of course the ring. I hit Mom’s number in my contacts and waited for her to pick up. When I made the announcement, I teared up with her response.
“Yay, Mike, I am so happy for you! I think you made the right decision, I just want you to know that.”
I sent her the picture, which she got while we were still talking.
“Beautiful couple!” she said.
I had to agree. We’d deliver the news in person to Lacey’s family tomorrow night.
~ ~ ~
In the comfort of the living room in Lacey’s mother’s house, we sat together on the couch, Rachael and Arthur in chairs and Matt tucked next to his mom. Lacey was positively glowing when she put her left arm around Matt and held my hand with her right hand.
“Michael and I got engaged last night,” she announced, smiling and pulling Matt even closer. “We’re thinking we’ll get married here. Maybe Memorial weekend.”
Her mom came over and gave her a kiss and a hug. Then she squeezed my hand and said, “Welcome to the family, Mike. You two aren’t wasting any time, are you?”
“We’ve been apart way too much. We’re ready,” I answered.
Matt hadn’t said anything. He wouldn’t even look at either of us. “Honey, we’re going to spend your spring break with Michael back in Wisconsin, so you can meet his daughter and the rest of his awesome family.”
“You can go. I’ll stay here by Grandma,” he mumbled.
“Baby, you’ll be coming with me. We’re going to be moving there when you finish this semester of school.”
“Mom! No! Come on, I like it here! You didn’t even ask me!”
Scooting so her back was toward me and facing her son, she took his limp hand in hers. “Sweetie, Grandma and Arthur will be getting married, too. They’re going to be living together somewhere else, so we’d have to find a new place to live anyway.”
He slipped his hand out of hers, and for an instant his watery eyes squinted toward mine. More than anything, I wanted to love that boy, but he was making it so hard. He darted out of the room and pounded up the stairs to his room. There probably was a more tactful way we could’ve told him, but she was honest and open with news he didn’t want to hear.
I slept on the couch that night. Lacey brought me to the airport early in the morning for my morning departure. All in all, a wonderful weekend. We still had a lot to decide in the coming months. It seemed funny to me that I wasn’t more nervous about it all. It just felt right.