Chapter 29
My wife and stepson arrived in Wisconsin the following Monday. It took Lacey longer than she anticipated to finish packing up the last of the family’s things. And yes, Misty came, too. Plus saying good-bye to her sister and her mom proved much more heart-wrenching than she thought it would be, and I wasn’t there to help her through it. But from now on I would be, and I was so happy to have them home!
They were waiting for me when I arrived after work with Sadie. I had given Lacey a key to the house at the wedding, so she and Matt had pretty much unloaded the car. There were already a bunch of boxes piled in almost every room, and now it would take a map to navigate.
Fighting through the clutter, I put Sadie down and picked Lacey up, holding her so tightly I think I could’ve broken her ribs. We kissed. When I set her back down, I didn’t want to let her go. But I saw Matt out of the corner of my eye, and I finally released her to go give him a squeeze while Lacey went to cuddle Sadie. Even though the place was a disaster, we didn’t stop clinging onto each other for hours.
That first week was crazy. We organized Matt’s bedroom first. Before they arrived I’d put his bed together and even had the bedding done, and his dresser had the drawers in it. I started to put clothes away, then thought I better wait for Lacey. Same with putting the stuff up on the walls—I didn’t want to have to do it twice. It didn’t take us too long, we had it done in one evening.
Lacey had two weeks before she’d be starting her job, so she kept Sadie home with her during the day. Of course that slowed her unpacking progress immensely, but I think she just loved playing with her and Matt.
Maybe the second or third evening they were there, Matt was in the back yard playing with Misty when Aiden from next door wandered over. Next thing I knew, they were swinging on the swing set and playing fetch with the dog like they’d been friends for years. Lacey and I stood by the patio doors watching them. My hands circled her hips, holding her against me, and I could just feel something in her relax.
In all the disarray we’d been dealing with, I again came across the little grave marker that Matt had found up at the lake. That night, as we were getting ready to crawl into bed, I asked Lacey to sit down next to me, and I showed it to her, explaining what it was.
“I never told you about the miscarriage, and I guess I thought you should know,” I spoke, as I tucked some strands of hair behind her ear.
“Another loss you had to endure,” she whispered. Her fingers were warm on the back of my neck. She pulled me against her, kissing my head. “I’m sorry. I can’t imagine how sad that must have been. You’ve been through so much, you’re so strong, and you have the biggest heart. I love you, Michael.”
My throat was too thick to answer, but I felt glad to have confided the one last burden I’d been carrying.
At work, we went into the summer schedule, with the longer days but Fridays off. Lacey worked three twelve-hour shifts, leaving her with four days off a week. The process of adapting to the new schedules with a busy household challenged us. Managing daycare for both kids and seeing who’d bring them and pick them up practically required a spreadsheet. The weekdays Lacey worked, I was in charge of the kids. Those days made my job seem like a vacation. Don’t get me wrong, I loved my crazy life, but those kids ran me ragged.
And Lacey hadn’t forgotten about her desire for another baby. By the middle of summer, she’d already found an OB doctor and was seen for a thorough check-up. We had an appointment together to get the results and talk about getting pregnant.
Both of us were nervous as we sat side by side in the waiting room where my knees bounced up and down. We weren’t talking, but Lacey picked up my hand, rubbing my forearm with her other one as she smiled into my eyes. “Michael, please, just keep an open mind.” She waited expectantly for me to agree. I did.
The results showed Lacey was a picture of health: active, ate a nutritious diet, good weight, non-smoker, very moderate use of alcohol. Her labs were all where they needed to be. There wasn’t any reason to worry about her being able to carry a baby to term. She’d already warned Dr. Narian about my situation with Annie. I released Annie’s records to the doctor for review. She brought up the subject.
“Mike, I went over your first wife’s chart. Let me just say I’m so sorry for your loss.” My hands were clasped between my knees, and my head dipped while my throat expanded. I started breathing through my mouth. Lacey’s arm went around me. “There was nothing to red-flag her doctor about a pre-existing condition, nothing to indicate anything could go wrong. Events like that are extremely rare and unfortunately unpreventable in her situation.” Fighting back tears, I sat there with my new wife, talking about what should be a happy experience.
“How do I know that Lacey is going to be okay if she gets pregnant?”
Lacey squeezed my shoulder.
“There are no guarantees in life, but we will do everything in our power to ensure Lacey has a safe and successful pregnancy and delivery. That’s the best I can offer.” She sent a sympathetic smile to us, and I nodded.
“Is it okay for her to keep working and running? She really pushes herself.”
The doctor looked at Lacey. “If you were a runner before, you can continue, just pace yourself. By the third trimester, you probably won’t have all that much energy. By all means, don’t push yourself, listen to your body. You’re going to do fine. Any other questions?”
That was it. I knew it would be just a matter of time.
~ ~ ~
In July, my vacation time renewed; I’d have three weeks. Nothing would’ve made me happier than to actually take Lacey somewhere warm with beaches and palm trees—and no kids. I didn’t think I was ever meant to have a honeymoon or that kind of vacation. Maybe when the kids leave home. We’d have to ration the time, especially if a new baby was in our future.
“Michael.” The tone of her voice and the crinkle of her eyes at the corners told me the results of the pregnancy test she held in her hand.
“Come here.”
My eyes watered as I wrapped her up securely in my arms. “I love you. And I’m going to be a basket case through the whole thing. You asked for it, so I’m just warning you.”
“I’m so excited, Michael! When should we start telling people?”
“Let’s take a little time to get used to it ourselves, okay?”
In my family, it always seemed like someone was either pregnant or just had a baby, a regular baby boom. Paul and Em’s new baby girl, (what else?) was due fairly soon, and Dalton and Lucy also were expecting their second. I needed a little time to wrap my mind around becoming a new daddy, again.
Only a couple of weeks passed before we spilled it. The news was just too big to hide for long.
Once again, we needed to shuffle rooms. Sadie needed to get her “big girl” bed and move to her new room upstairs by Matt. That meant cleaning out another closet, painting walls pink, and converting her crib to the youth bed. Then we’d shop for a new crib for the baby.
We made a big deal out of it, hoping Sadie would be excited to make this big-girl, grown-up move. When it came time to do it, she cried and carried on to the best of her abilities. She climbed out of bed and came to the top of the stairs, sobbing pitifully for “Da-dee.”
I ended up sleeping with her for a week straight until one night she called for “Acey, Mama, peeease! I want you!” We both looked at each other, Lacey’s mouth in the biggest grin. Sadie had called her “Mama!” She slept with her for the next week. After that, we took turns just laying with her for a little while. Eventually, she adapted to her new sleeping arrangements.
The holidays were the best. Our house could’ve been featured in a decorating magazine. It was heaven to not have to travel, to just stay home and enjoy my ever-growing family. We spent time with the relatives, and Pete had us over for New Year’s. The kids stayed at Tom and Sheri’s. Lacey felt great, and the unborn baby thrived as expected.
~ ~ ~
In early February, Lacey had her appointment for the ultrasound to measure the child’s progression. This would also be the ultrasound to tell us whether we were having a boy or a girl. We decided, well, Lacey decided that she wanted to know. It was pointless to me. The Jarrid boys only produced girls. Six of them now, soon to be seven.
On the off chance that we had a boy, I told Lacey I would name him. I chose Jared—Jared Jarrid, and she just rolled her eyes at me. The likelihood of it being a girl thrilled Lacey, and she’d throw out a name for consideration every once in a while. Mostly I heard Sage or Sawyer, which sounded like a boy’s name to me.
At the clinic, Lacey slipped into the hospital gown. Then the tech came in, asking her to lie back and shifting the gown off her belly.
“Geez, that’s cold!” She sucked in her breath as the gel hit her rounded tummy. The tech smiled, and so did I. She started running the scanner device over her. Up on the screen popped our tiny human, big head bobbing, arms and legs flailing around. Nice strong heartbeat.
She kept pushing buttons and changing the images around for different views when suddenly she stopped. “You’re sure you want to know?”
“Yes,” Lacey replied without hesitation, reaching for my hand.
“Right there.” She moved the little arrow on the screen. “A little penis and scrotum.”
My head snapped over to the tech. “You’re kidding, right?”
“Not at all, it’s a boy!”
“A boy?” I repeated, then looked at Lacey’s face. She wore a sad smile. “Oh, I’m sorry, Lacey,” I said, squeezing her hand, but one side of my mouth twisted upward. I looked away. I couldn’t stop it. A full smile blossomed, and I started to laugh. “I’m such a bad liar! A boy, yes!”
The disappointment lasted only seconds for Lacey. Her hand stretched up to touch my face. “Jared,” I said, nodding. Then I laughed.
“His name is not going to be Jared! Stop!”
The tech bantered back and forth with us as she wiped off Lacey’s tummy with a towel, then helped her to sit up. My family was going to be so blown away.
We were all over at Tom’s new place for a housewarming party a few weeks later. The kids were playing in the family room in the basement. The adults gathered around the snacks on the island. Mark and Jade became engaged on Valentine’s Day. So the women were talking about weddings on one end while my brothers and I talked the usual smack on the other.
Clearing my throat, I stated, “Well, it seems there’s only one of us who’s man enough to produce a son.”
Everyone quit talking. Glances went from me to Lacey, who patted her belly with a proud look to match mine as I made my way over to her.
“No shit?” Tom asked, and everyone just burst out laughing.
“Are you sure it’s his?” Mark asked, giving me a fist to the upper arm as I passed him.
Lacey could’ve been offended, but she was familiar enough with the family to know how we interact. She just kept smiling as I slipped my hands around her protruding abdomen and gently held her, kissing her cheek.
“We’re naming him Jared,” I added, to which she pinched me in the side, but it brought about another batch of verbal hazing.
My mom must’ve thought I was serious about the name.
“Honey, don’t you think he’d be teased a lot with a name like that?”
Lacey chuckled. “Oh, trust me, Marge. He is not going to be named Jared!”
~ ~ ~
One particular morning, I scrambled to round up the kids to get them to daycare. I couldn’t find one of Sadie’s shoes, and Matt was playing on his tablet instead of helping me look.
So I was running a few minutes late and not in the best of moods when my phone buzzed. I’d just gotten back into the car from dropping them off, when I answered impatiently, “Hey, Lacey, what’s up?”
“Don’t freak out, Michael, I’m okay.” My stress shot up and right off the charts. I started breathing through my mouth. “I just need you to come get me from work.” Her voice was calm, but my gut told me something was way wrong.
“I’m just leaving daycare, what’s going on?”
She told me her first patient of the day was a young woman strung out on drugs. When Lacey bent down to start an IV on her, the girl’s foot flew up, the heel of her boot catching Lacey in the side of the head.
“I’m waiting for stitches. I’m covered in blood, and they’re sending me home.”
“I’ll be right there! Lacey, you’re sure you’re okay? What about the baby?” My hand fumbled with the key as I tried to get it into the ignition.
The gal behind the desk had been watching for me. I entered the ER on the run, panicked. She took me to where Lacey was waiting. With her purse in her lap and an ice pack to her head, she raised those doe-like eyes to mine.
“Oh, Lacey, I was so worried about you!” I pushed back her hair and kissed her next to her eye, then on the lips. “Show me—please.”
A set of five perfectly matched knots ran along her scalp, her hair still blood-streaked. They had clipped a little away for the stitches. Placing another kiss next to the spot, I took hold of her hand. “And Jared’s okay?”
Her lips twisted up into a smile. “The baby is fine, but Mama has a headache. Can we go home now?”
I drove her absolutely crazy. I knew it, but I couldn’t help myself. At home, I sat with her on the couch for about an hour. She’d taken some Tylenol earlier, and now she tried to rest against me. I probably kissed her a thousand times, stroking her head and squeezing her. Finally, she told me to go for a run or something, because she wanted to kick me in the head. Geez!
I didn’t stay away too long. When I got back, she was in the kitchen making chili, her comfort food, for our lunch. She felt better; therefore, I did, too.
Her next shift was scheduled two days later. It took a lot of reassurance from her to convince me it was safe for her to go back to that environment. Lacey promised she would let her coworkers take care of the “crazies”. She’d stick to the gory stuff. That would’ve been a big consolation to me if I had believed it. Anyone could snap at any time. I knew that much.
~ ~ ~
On June fifteenth in the early afternoon, Lacey called me from work to say her water broke. She was in the OB department being admitted. I didn’t even clean up my work station.
I was shown to Lacey’s room. A bright smile greeted me when she saw my worried face. We kissed, then she told me to sit down and relax. This was just the beginning. Boy, was she right.
Everything brought back memories for me. Lacey agreed right from the start to do the epidural. She said her labor with Matt was long, and the medication helped immensely. Once that was in place and she had settled in, I ran home to pick up the bags that were already packed and waiting.
I also called our parents to alert them. Mom asked me if I wanted her to come. “Just because—”
I told her no, while my head nodded yes. I’d be fine, Lacey would be fine—Oh, dear Lord, please, please let everything be fine! Besides, they were going to be watching the kids.
When I got back to the hospital, nothing had changed. Barely dilated, her contractions were few and far between. We watched a movie together and chatted. We went for a walk all over that floor, stopping by the nursery to check out the babies. Back in the room, Lacey took a nap. So did I. Then we repeated the process, another movie and walk. Every so often, a nurse would check her progression. Seven hours since this all started, and she was only at three centimeters. The baby was being monitored. He was doing fine, just not going anywhere.
I went to the cafeteria and brought some food up for dinner and ate it while visiting with Lacey. The nurses brought her a little soup and tea. Now it started to get dark outside. We called the kids. Lacey talked to both of them until a contraction had her handing the phone back to me. A rough one, stronger. The baby’s heart rate dipped, but returned to normal when the contraction eased.
Another couple of hours passed, and Lacey grew tired and a little cranky. We were over ten hours in, and she was at four centimeters. We’d gone through several episodes of the baby’s heart rate dropping. Each time, I thought my heart stopped until his picked up again. Dr. Narian dropped in and did an exam, telling Lacey she was going to induce her to try to move things along. After she left, I told Lacey I needed to go to the bathroom. Instead of using the one in her room, I went to find the public one we’d seen on one of our walks.
In there, I stood grasping the edge of the sink. I thought I was hyperventilating. The longer the labor went on, the scarier it became for me. I gulped air and tried to keep from passing out. This isn’t about you, man, get a grip! Tears streamed down my face. Get back to her, she needs you! Grabbing a couple of paper towels, I splashed my cheeks and wiped off my face, then headed back to my wife.
A few more hours brought much stronger contractions. She was completely effaced, and at six centimeters, the medication to induce labor was finally working. Sitting down behind her in the bed, I leaned her against me and rocked with her to help ease the pain. She chewed on some ice, and after she kicked me out of the bed, I rubbed her back as she lay on her side. In three more hours, she was finally fully dilated. The doctor came, and we coached her through the delivery.
The baby came out a little blue-looking, but he gasped a couple times and started crying and pinked right up. The cord was tied, and I snipped it. My hands were ready to take him, but the nurse put him right on Lacey’s chest. As she wiped him off, Lacey clutched him to her body. Our eyes met, and we both were bawling. I put my hand over hers on the baby and bent down, hugging them both.
“I love you so much, Lacey. Did you see? He really is a boy!” I kissed her. My heart felt like it was going to burst. I had a son, my son! We created him. I was ecstatic.
Her smile was shaky. “Yes, I saw. Thank you, Michael. I don’t think I could be any happier. I love you!”
The nurse took the baby to get him cleaned up and weigh him, all the stuff they do. He peed all over her on the way to the scale.
“Oh my God, he just watered the floor,” I told his mother, and she chuckled along with me.
“I’m sure it won’t be the last time he does that.”
When the nurse finished with him, my six-pound, nine-ounces, twenty-inch boy, she brought him over to me.
“Oh, he’s a little guy,” I said, trying to position him more securely in my hands. With his head in one palm and his body in the other, I held him in front of me to take him all in. My eyes filled with tears again. Our son! Holding him up higher, Lacey was able to get a good look too. He was asleep. We hadn’t really gotten to see his eyes yet, but he had a head full of short blonde fuzz.
“He looks like Matty did, he’s so sweet! Look at that little mouth and chin.” Her finger caressed his face and he turned his head, opening his eyes. “Hello, Maxim Joseph, happy birthday!”
I smiled at her. “You’re really not letting me name him Jared?”
“No, Michael! Get over it.”
I kissed her cheek. “Matt, Sadie, and Max. He sure doesn’t look anything like Sadie did. She was a chunk, and that red hair—” My voice faltered, and I shook my head. “Oh geez, I’m sorry, Lacey.”
Lacey sucked in her lips, and tears ran down her cheeks. A nurse came over. Her gaze switched between the two of us, trying to figure us out. “You kids okay?” We both nodded.
“Hormones,” I replied, wiping Lacey’s cheek with my thumb, a sort of a smirk on my face. I made my wife smile.
The birthing bed was turned back into a regular one. As she sat more upright, she held out her hands to me to take the baby. “Michael, don’t ever apologize for your feelings about Annie. I get it, and I love you even more for it.”
Little Max transferred into her arms, and I sat down on the bed with my arm around her shoulder. “You’re amazing, Lacey. Just beautiful.”
Her reply? “Oh man, I’m so tired!”
~ ~ ~
We got very little sleep that night. Refusing the couch that folded out into a bed, I sat in the recliner right next to Lacey the entire time. If she so much as took an uneven breath, I checked on her. Once I even called the nurse and made her take her vitals. They probably couldn’t wait to get us out of there—me, at least.
Little Max didn’t want to learn how to eat. Lacey tried over and over to get him to nurse. He would suck on a pacifier though, so they tried a bottle, and he finally took an ounce or two.
I got the kids from Mom’s house and brought them to meet their new brother. Matthew smiled ear-to-ear from the moment he saw him. “Oh, man, I can’t wait until he can play with me! I always wanted a brother, Mom.”
Sadie stood back a little, very quiet. We let Matt sit in the recliner, putting Max in his arms. Sadie took that opportunity to climb up into her mom’s lap. “I miss you, Mama. Can you come home now?”
Lacey kissed her and rocked her snuggly. “I miss my little girl, too. We got you a new brother, Sadie!”
“No, I want toys,” she stated, perfectly serious. I stroked her head, and Lacey kissed her cheek.
“This little brother will be more fun than any toy, Sadie, I promise.” I didn’t think she believed me.
Mom and Dad came up to see us and bring the kids back home with them. My dad stood with Matt in front of him, squeezing his shoulders as he watched Lacey fuss over Maxim in her arms. “Two grandsons in less than a year, that’s pretty amazing.” His voice cracked.
Matt cranked his head with a full grin, in time to see his grandpa wipe away tears. Then he twisted his body around and put his arms about Dad’s waist and hugged him.
“This is a happy day, Grandpa. Don’t cry!”
“Oh, these are happy tears, Matty,” Dad said, giving his head a gentle rub. Then he came over and gave me a solid embrace. “We’ve been blessed, son, in so many ways!” He was looking at Lacey when he said it, and he reached over and squeezed her hand. A sense of peace amid the chaos settled over me, and I finally let myself believe, for a minute, that maybe, maybe everything was going to be all right.
~ ~ ~
We brought Maxim Joseph home the following day. I still watched Lacey like a hawk, and though a couple of times she let out a sigh, she never lost her temper or was cross with me. She knew I was doing what I needed to do to survive.
That evening, the five of us relaxed in the living room. Matt leaned next to Lacey on the couch, playing on his tablet. She was holding Max when Sadie came up and rested her elbows on Lacey’s legs. She ran her little hand gently over the down on Max’s head.
I watched from the recliner with my hands clasped on my abdomen and a contented grin on my lips. All at once it hit me—This is how it is supposed to be. Everything became a blur. My gaze locked with Lacey’s. She cocked her head and smiled at me.
“It’s okay, honey,” she said softly. I blew out a deep breath, regaining my composure.
Little Max looked around, and Sadie brought her face right in front of his, staring into the deep, dark eyes we still hadn’t assigned a color. “Ho-wee cwap, Da-dee! He gots big eyes!”
Matthew burst out laughing, actually putting down his tablet, wrapping his arms about his stomach. “Did you hear what she just said?”
Jumping out of my chair, I pounced. Pulling him down on the floor, I grabbed him in the belly and tickled him. “Who taught her to say that?” I chuckled, as I attacked him.
“You did, Dad!” Matt squealed.
Dad! My lips touched his cheek.
Looking at Lacey, she smiled that heart-melting grin with her lower lip between her teeth and shook her head at me.
Totally oblivious to the rest of us, Sadie kissed Max’s cheek, then ran her hand over his head again. I settled down on the floor next to her and stroked her silky auburn curls.
“Well, Sadie Ann, what do you think? Should we keep him?”
Lacey’s eyebrows shot up in a flash. That could be a very loaded question!
Without missing a beat, still enthralled with her baby brother, Sadie answered, “Yup! Foe-eva and eva.”