Chapter 20
The restaurant was situated on a corner, part of a solid block of old but very well-kept buildings. Windows adorned the front, and a bright-blue awning hung over the entrance. Right on time, I wondered if Lacey would be waiting for me, or if she would be fashionably late. I ran a hand across the top of my head, blew out a breath, and entered.
The place was surprisingly spacious inside, the lighting dim. Before I did anything, I had to wait for my eyes to adjust. A hostess at a podium greeted me and was about to ask me if I wanted to be seated. But scanning the room, I spied Lacey sliding out of a booth along the side. Her hand was up in the air to catch my attention. My smile flashed in an instant, and I felt suddenly intoxicated at the sight of her. The hand that she’d waved went over her mouth. In two seconds, I was standing in front of her, my heart battering my ribs. So many feelings rushed back, mostly good, but not all. I reached for her hands. Our fingers touched briefly, the contact warm, familiar. Then Lacey’s arms went right around my neck.
Not sure about what I should do, I put my arms tentatively around her. She moved her head back so I could see those lips smiling up into my eyes. “I think you’ve grown!”
I let out a nervous chuckle, releasing her. What was I supposed to say to that? “I don’t know, maybe? Five years since you saw me in the hospital.”
“Six,” she interjected. “And you’re bigger!” She chuckled, embarrassed and stammering. “I’m just saying—you seem broader across the shoulders. I didn’t exactly have my arms around you in the hospital.”
I shook my head. “No, Annie would’ve had something to say about that!”
At the mention of her name, the light banter shifted. Lacey pulled me closer, tears collecting along her lower lashes. She whispered next to my ear. “I’m so sorry about Annie, Michael. She was a special lady. My heart just aches for you.”
Oh—wow, right out of the gate! My swallow was audible. I gave her a squeeze, then stepped back, my watery eyes meeting hers. “Thanks, it’s been a tough year.” After pausing a couple seconds, I added, “I’ve grown up.”
My look was deliberately long, holding her gaze until she had to look away. My jaw tensed. Those last words intentionally cutting, were meant to have an impact. Because when I was eighteen and head-over-heels in love with her, she had told me I needed to grow up. That was when she left Wisconsin and moved back to be closer to her family, shattering my heart in the process.
Her eyes welled up again. Awkwardness froze us like a thick layer of ice. Finally, my face softened, and one side of my mouth tipped upward in a bit of a smirking grin as my head cocked to the side. She nodded, a piece of her lower lip clenched between her teeth. “Yes, you’ve grown up, Michael.”
My smile returned, and I gave her another quick squeeze. “It’s really good to see you again.” I gestured toward the booth, and we slid in across from one another. We stared at each other in silence, both taking inventory.
She’s hardly changed. Same to-die-for luscious brown eyes, a pretty face, with those lips I’d been so familiar with years ago. Blonde hair, shorter now, but still down to her shoulders and softly framing her face. The top she wore was V-neck, sleeveless, and floated gently over her bosom. A short white skirt revealed a bit of thigh. The waitress gave us glasses of water with a lemon and the menus.
“So, you’re a daddy now!” she said with a pleased smile. “Come on, show me pictures!”
I chuckled. “I sure am. I think I might have a picture or two.” I turned on my phone and scanned it for a second. “Here you go. These start just after Sadie Ann’s first birthday, more if you want to keep going back. There’s literally hundreds, so you can stop any time.”
“Oh, my gosh, Michael! She’s beautiful! She looks just like her mother. Oh, but she has your blue eyes. Such a cutie!” There were many pictures of her with me and various family members and lots with her cousins. Lacey kept flipping through them, giggling and commenting from time to time. The baby got younger and younger as she went until suddenly she stopped. “Oh, Michael! This one of Annie holding her . . . “ She glanced up to see my sad smile and said, “She looks like one very happy and loved little girl.”
“She’s what’s kept me going, that’s for sure. She’s got me wrapped around her little finger, and all the other ones, too. She’s my life!” The uncomfortable silence that followed finally abated when I said, “Tell me about Matt. What is he, seven now?”
The waitress was back to take our orders.
“Eight—hard to believe. Want to see pictures?” She grinned, getting out her phone. Her face changed as she scanned through them. “A lot of these are still with Braden—sorry.”
I reached for her phone, taking it out of reluctant hands. Swiping through several pictures, Braden smiled back at me. A jock-type, lots of muscles, and with his hands all over her. There were a few with Matt alone or with Braden, and they appeared to have hit it off well. “Matt’s really grown up. He’s a good-looking kid. Braden’s a jerk. So what happened with you two?”
“You don’t want to hear about all that.”
“That’s what we do—jump right in to the nitty-gritty. Go on, I’m listening.”
Lacing her fingers together, she looked at them instead of me. “Well, he works for the water department, that’s how we met. They were doing some work on our street, and Matt was right there watching the big trucks. I went to check on him. There was Braden, in his hard hat and his fluorescent green vest, all tan and muscles everywhere, explaining things to Matty.” She blushed as I sat back, grinning and shaking my head. “Hey, you asked! I’m just telling you.”
Our food came, and I started cutting my steak. “Yeah, I know I did. Keep going, it’s so fascinating.”
“We started talking, and he asked me out. After dating a year, we were planning our wedding. Matt and I lived in a duplex, but he had his own house. It made sense for us to move in with him. He really was good with Matt, who finally had someone to do guy things with him. I was happy to be in love again.”
She picked up her fork and began pushing her salad around on the plate. She wouldn’t look at me. “One night, he was in the shower. I picked up his phone and was looking through his pictures. They got a new sign holder girl on their team. You know, someone who directs traffic around their equipment while they’re working. Her name was Britt. I came across some pictures of her wearing a hard hat and her ‘slow’ sign, nothing else.”
I groaned, my amusement turning to compassion.
Her gaze slowly ventured up and met mine. “I confronted him about it. He admitted to hooking up with her after work one day. I grabbed Matt out of bed and went over to my mom’s. We’ve been there ever since. I feel like such a loser.”
Setting my fork aside, I reached a hand across the table and took hers. “I’m sorry for what he did to you. He’s an asshole. You deserve so much more.”
“Michael, I’m in my thirties and living back with my mother. It’s embarrassing!” She’d brought her hand up to her face, half hiding behind it. Then peeking out, she added, “By the way, Mom’s more than a little curious about the guy I’ve met on Facebook.”
I’d gone back to eating. The chewing stopped as I glanced up at her, confused. “Me?”
She nodded.
“She thinks we met on Facebook?”
“I never told her—”
I studied her. Why not? Embarrassed of me, too? “Okay.” That pissed me off. All the crap I went through with my family because of our relationship, and she never even told hers? How ‘we’ came to be in the first place wasn’t a secret I was willing to keep from people who had a right to know, like her mom. It would be addressed at a later date, if there even was a later date.
The confidence I tried to pull off wavered. Maybe it was a mistake coming here. What was I thinking? I wiped my mouth with my napkin, appetite suddenly waning.
I was sure she picked up on the mood swing. She glanced down at her hands. “Well, some things don’t change. Once again, we got into some deep topics.” She gave me an apologetic smile. “Anyway, I’m so glad you’re here! Are you ready to go on a walking tour of my beautiful little town?”
My stomach unclenched a little as I smiled back and nodded.
Quaint and pristine, Montpelier was just what you would envision when you think of New England. Parks, church steeples, and white picket fences were all around. From every lamppost hung baskets overflowing with colorful collections of blossoms.
The evening grew dark as we strolled side by side. In the city square, where sidewalks ran diagonally from each corner and meeting in the middle, sat a gazebo. We landed on a bench, sitting next to each other but not touching. A yawn escaped from me. I apologized.
“Am I keeping you up or just boring you to death?” she asked with a tease.
“Neither—it’s been a long day for me. Getting Sadie ready, packing up things and getting her over to my parents, then the flight and drive—yup, you’re keeping me up.” I smiled, teasing back. “I guess it was worth it.” My hand reached over to her knee. When I realized I was touching her, I somehow couldn’t pull it away. Tingling in my fingers started spreading up my arm.
“Gee, thanks!” She put her hand on top of mine. “Wait until you see what I have planned for tomorrow. You’d better go to sleep fast, Michael.”
We wandered back to where she was parked. My rental waited across the street, a block away. She unlocked the door, then turned back to me. “Thanks again for coming, Michael. This was nice. What time can you be ready tomorrow? I don’t want to rush you.”
“Eight, nine? Usually I’m up by six with Sadie, so it’ll be like sleeping in for me.”
“Okay, nine then—meet me at the bench. I’m putting together a picnic. Casual clothes and walking shoes.”
I yawned again, smiling shyly.
“I can take a hint,” she muttered. She reached over, and her fingers closed around my upper arm as our eyes met. Putting my hands on her shoulders, I pulled her against me for a quick hug. She was soft and warm, smelling of flowers and citrus. I didn’t know about her, but I wanted to kiss her, and I had to stop myself. I let her go, grinning as I watched her get into her car. My heart was humming away. Breathe, I told myself . . .
~ ~ ~
I was ready so early we could’ve easily met at eight. I got up, showered, ate a leisurely continental breakfast at the motel, and then brought a cup of coffee and another doughnut up to my room on the second floor. Checking in with Mom, she told me Sadie was still asleep. Really? Why didn’t she ever do that for me? They had taken her over to Tom and Sheri’s, and the girls had really worn her out the night before. She assured me she had showed no signs of the flu, or whatever it was that held us in its clutches earlier in the week. So all was well there.
Hanging up the phone, I thought to myself that I should’ve gone for a run. Too late now. I didn’t want to get all sweaty. I played with my phone for another fifteen minutes, then decided to go to our designated spot. Another gorgeous day was on tap. I didn’t need a jacket, and it was still early.
Lacey arrived a few minutes ahead of schedule, pulling up in her small, dark-blue SUV. She got out just long enough to give me a hug and tell me to hop in. She had on khaki shorts, a fitted T-shirt, and hiking boots.
“You look ready for some serious trailblazing today. Am I going to be able to keep up?”
“Guess we’ll find out.” She chuckled. “You used to have me doing all kinds of activities. This is payback.”
“I see.” I grinned back at her. She told me I’d need either a jacket or a sweatshirt, so we swung by the motel to grab my hoodie and sunglasses.
We drove maybe fifteen or twenty miles to a really scenic trail in Camel’s Hump State Park. The road into the parking area was rugged and long, and I wondered what the trail itself was going to be like. There were already a lot of cars, which told me it was a popular destination. Some families with kids were just starting out, so I figured I would be able to handle it. Lacey had a backpack stuffed with our lunch and her sweatshirt. I tied my hoodie around my waist by the arms, strapped the pack on my back, and we were off.
I loved to do this sort of thing. We hiked at a leisurely pace. Every now and then, some older teens would pass us, or we would overtake a group of seniors who’d moved off the trail to take a breather. I stopped many times along the way to drink some water or snap a picture. I shot a couple of Lacey, who rivaled the landscape for the title of the most beautiful natural wonder.
As we walked, Lacey started telling me about her dad. One of the reasons she decided to move closer to home was to give Matt a positive male role model as he was growing up. Guess I hadn’t measured up to that status.
The path got very rocky and steep for a bit. She stopped talking, and we concentrated on our footing. Once it evened out, she continued, “We were only back a couple of months when Dad wasn’t feeling well. I finally talked him into getting checked out. He was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. It’s one of the worst. He only lived six more months.”
I stopped and put my hand around her upper arm, causing her to turn toward me. “Aw, Lacey. That’s really tough. I’m so sorry.”
“It’s been more than five years already. I was always a daddy’s girl, so much closer to him than my mom. I miss him so much.” She had tears in her eyes, and I pulled her against my chest, putting my hand on her head and just sort of stroking her hair. Some other hikers came up behind us. We were blocking the trail, so we separated and let them through, then resumed our ascent.
At the top, the views were spectacular. Mountains covered in green rose as far as you could see in every direction carving deep valleys in the same verdant hues. We scouted around near the summit, looking for a place we could take a break and share our lunch. Finding a large, relatively flat rock, I slipped off the backpack, and she pulled out a blanket, spreading it open.
Next came a Ziploc with veggies, water, sandwiches, cheese, crackers, and cookies. It all seemed perfect, so relaxed and spontaneous. After we stored remnants from the meal, I lay on my back staring up at the wispy graying clouds. The wind kicked up, so both of us put on the extra layers we brought.
Lacey moved closer to me, sitting near my shoulder with her knees bent up and her arms wrapped around them. “Tell me about you and Annie.”
“What do you want to know?” I asked, squinting through my sunglasses since the sun was directly behind her.
“How you met, what your life together was like, everything.”
So I began with the story of running Annie off the ski trail, and so on and so forth. At parts, we laughed together. Sometimes it was hard to keep going, because retelling our tale just brought back so many memories. But in another way it felt good to talk about her. When I got to Sadie’s birth, I had to stop. I sat up and took the sunglasses off, pressing my palms into my eyes.
“We were so happy about the baby. So excited to bring her home and be a little family. Annie was bleeding internally, and no one knew until she got up to go to the bathroom and almost passed out. I carried her back to bed and called for help. They took her to surgery but—she was bleeding faster than they could replace it.”
Lacey dug in the back pack and handed me some napkins.
God! I didn’t mean to be such a downer on this beautiful day. “Sorry,” I managed, fighting to keep from downright sobbing.
“Michael—I’m sorry for asking, but I needed to know. It’s a big part of who you are now.”
I nodded. “Anyway, that was the last time I saw her alive.”
Lacey tried to hide her tears from me. Her hand rested on my back. “You two had the kind of love most people only dream of. It was just too short.”
“I wanted forever,” I said quietly.
She smiled, looking wistfully off in the distance. “We all do, Michael.” Neither of us said any more. I hadn’t even noticed the clouds had taken over the sky. The wind grew stronger and cooler. “You know what? I think it’s going to start raining. We better head back down, because the trail gets slippery when it’s wet. Matt and I did that once—not fun.”
After rolling up the blanket, I crammed it into the bag and checked around to make sure we hadn’t missed anything. I let her lead the way.
We were close to the end of the trail when the skies opened up and started pouring on us. I put my hood up and tried to protect Lacey by holding the backpack over her head. We were running and laughing and hopelessly drenched by the time we reached her car.
“Wow, I didn’t expect that!” I stated through chattering teeth. She began to drive, turning the heat up as high as it could go.
On the ride back to town, we decided both of us needed to change clothes. She dropped me off at the motel, saying she would be back in an hour, and then we’d decide what to do for dinner.
A hot shower took the chills away. I hadn’t packed a lot of clothes. I put on the pants I’d worn on the plane and my last clean shirt. I called home again. I missed Sadie. This time I caught her when she was up, and Mom let her “talk” with me. She cracked me up. It felt so good to hear her sweet little voice. I knew my mom would be dying to ask me how it was going, but she refrained, and I gave her nothing. Lacey was waiting when I exited the lobby.
The sun tried to reappear. The air smelled clean, and everything looked so lush and green. It was four o’clock, too early to go eat. We decided to walk around some more.
We were near the river I noticed the night before. On the other side of it sprawled a wildlife refuge area with paths going off in several directions. We took a two-mile one. By the time we completed it, we made our way to my rental car, then drove ten miles down the road to a pizza place Lacey had told me about.
After a couple of drinks at a bar, it was time to say good night again. I pulled into the spot next to her vehicle. We both got out. All I could think about at that moment was how I had to leave the next morning. It brought back memories of when Annie and I were doing the same thing. I hated it back then, too.
Together, we moved toward her car. When we stopped, I took her face between my hands and leaned in, kissing her forehead. My eyes were closed, and my lips stayed pressed against her for a long time. When the kiss ended, I did it a second time, then gently butted my forehead against hers. Damn it! I promised myself no kisses. None. Zip. Nada. A forehead doesn’t really count, does it? It’s like kissing your mom. My hands were on her shoulders then, sliding up and down her arms. Her fingers splayed open on my back, pressing us closer.
“What are you thinking right now?” I whispered.
“That if you don’t give me a real kiss, I might turn to stone or something,” she whispered back.
My knees nearly buckled. Moving my head so I could see her face, I tipped her chin up with one finger and brought my lips to hers. Once, twice, three times, then I stepped away before the heat went any higher. So much for my promise. We both enjoyed it, I felt it.
“Oh, Michael,” she breathed, her lower lip caught between her teeth, and her head slowly shaking back and forth. “Well.” She cleared her throat, snapping out of the hypnotic state she seemed to be in. “Would you mind if I come here and join you for breakfast before you have to leave?”
“Not at all, but we can go someplace better than this.”
“No, this is fine. What time should I come?”
“My flight is at eleven. I have to be there by ten, turn in the car, and an hour for the drive.” I scrunched up my face, “Seven?”
Placing her hand on my chest, she stretched up to kiss me. I wondered if she could feel how hard my heart pounded.
“See you at seven.” I watched the tail lights as she pulled away.
~ ~ ~
With everything packed and sitting on the bed, I left my room and jogged down the steps to the lobby. Looking around, she wasn’t there yet. I sat in one of the chairs while people either headed in to the dining area for breakfast or over to the desk to check out.
Lacey arrived a few minutes late, and it only mattered because I started to worry I hadn’t given myself enough time to make it back to Burlington. We hugged, then went in to make our way around the area where the food was set out. I grabbed juice and coffee, bringing it to an empty table near the windows, then went back for two hard boiled eggs, a banana, and a blueberry muffin that actually looked homemade. Lacey toasted some bread and took an orange.
When we were both seated, she asked, “What are your plans now, Michael?”
“Go back to my life at home. I really miss Sadie.”
“What about us?”
Was there an us? Dropping the last of the shell I just peeled, I dipped the egg in a little pile of salt mixed with pepper on the side of my plate. “I’m not sure. I’m really glad I came. Seeing you was great. It was fun catching up. What are your thoughts?”
“It was wonderful spending time with you. You can still make me laugh when it seems my life just sucks. I like that. Do you think you might want to do this again?”
My pulse raced. “If you want me to, I definitely I would.”
“Vermont has amazing autumn festivals during the first part of October. If you thought it was pretty yesterday, you should see the fall colors!”
“I think I probably should see them—and you, again.” Reaching for her hand, I squeezed it. After getting out my phone, I touched my calendar app and checked to see if I had anything pending for that weekend. It was blank. Before going up to my room, I stopped at the desk to ask if they had an available room for that weekend.
The clerk burst out laughing. “You’re kidding, right? We’ve been booked since last year. It’s like our most popular time. But let me check for sure.” My heart fell as I looked longingly at Lacey.
“We’ll figure something out, Michael.” Both of her hands clung to my arm.
“Huh,” the clerk said. “We had a cancellation just last night. We do have a room if you want it. I’ll warn you, that’s a high demand time. The price will be about double what you paid this time.” I hoped Lacey didn’t hear my gulp.
I checked out, then we walked together up to my room to grab my things. It occurred to me that I didn’t even pick up a trinket of some sort to bring home to Sadie. Hopefully I could find something at the airport.
Out in the parking lot, she followed me to my car. I put everything in the back seat, then closed the door, turning back to her.
“This is the hard part—” I started to say, before she put a finger on my lips.
“We already know you’re coming again, so let’s just be glad about that, okay?”
“Okay.” I wrapped my arms around her, breathing her in. “Lacey, this feels so good.”
“I know,” she whispered into my chest.
“Hey,” I said, and she looked up. My lips found hers, and I kissed her like I meant it. Her body seemed to cave into mine, and I held her for a minute more, kissing the top of her head. “I have to go.” Her hands patted my chest as I stepped back, and we smiled at each other.
I made it in time for my flight, but Sadie was out of luck. I felt bad that I hadn’t thought of getting her something sooner. I guessed I would have another chance come October. I called Mom to tell her we were on time and boarding, then I noticed Lacey had texted me.
“Michael, that last kiss—a ten out of ten!” with a big smiling emoji. I wore a huge grin all the way home.
~ ~ ~
I heard her squeal before I even saw her. Toddling toward me with her arms out, Sadie’s mouth was wide open and smiling.
“Hi, baby! Oh, I missed you!” Releasing the handle of my bag, I swooped her up in my arms. At least twenty kisses followed as I hugged her tight. Mom waited her turn patiently. I set Sadie down and gave Mom a hug. “Thanks so much. How was she?”
“No problem at all.” The next thing I knew she had me by the chin. “Let me see that face.” Her eyes zeroed in on mine.
To humor her, I stopped walking, a smirk on my face.
“It went well, I see,” she said, her eyes grinning back at mine.
Raising my eyebrows, I just shrugged.
“Good, I’m really glad, honey.”