Chapter 23
Settling into the chair in the corner of my motel room, Lacey brought her feet up on the footstool in front of her. I shoved a few things into drawers, then put my shaving kit in the bathroom. Pulling out a bottle of wine carefully wrapped in my Wisconsin hoodie for safe travels, I found two plastic cups and poured some into each of them. After handing her one, I leaned back against the headboard of the bed with a pillow behind me. I smiled at her as I took a sip.
“I’m sorry Matt was so stand-offish to you.” A pout darkened her face.
“He liked me when he was two—”
“I liked you when he was two, too.” She grinned back at me.
“Then you—” I caught myself. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to go there.”
She set her wine down, her feet came off the stool, and she leaned over her knees toward me. I put my wine down too and stood up, taking a step toward her. The weary tone of her voice when she started talking again made me stop.
“You act like you were the only one devastated when I left, Michael. My heart was broken, too. I was a wreck for months!”
Backing up, my legs hit the side of the bed and I sat, again. A hard swallow from me followed. “I always figured since it was you that ended the relationship, it was easier for you.”
“No, it was anything but easy! Matt asked for you every single day. I had to try to explain things to him. Knowing I hurt him, too, just made it twice as bad.”
“I loved that kid,” I moaned. “I was all in for you, Lacey, I would have gone anywhere or done anything for you.”
“I know you were, Michael. And that scared me, and I felt so undeserving of you.” With a finger, she swiped away tears.
“How could you think you weren’t deserving of my love, Lacey?” That tore at my heart even more.
“Divorce does things to a person—my self-esteem was non-existent.” She looked like she was contemplating her next words. “When I saw you in the hospital, a year and a half later, I thought that my prayers were answered, you were brought back to me. It was fate.”
My eyes filled with tears, my heart choked, and a little gulp escaped from my heaving chest.
“But you were with Annie then, and I knew I had to let go.”
No longer able to hold it back, the warm liquid seeped from my eyes. “I’m sorry.” For what I wasn’t sure, it just seemed I needed to say it.
“You had a good life with Annie. You have a beautiful little girl!”
I looked over at her. “I loved Annie so much, but a piece of my heart was always with you—”
We both stood up. I reached out a hand to her and held hers like it was the most precious possession in the world. Her other hand stroked the side of my face.
“I want this all behind us. I don’t want to keep doing this,” I said, using my fingers to erase the moisture below her eyes.
Lacey whispered, “I want you in my life, to move forward together. We’re meant for each other.”
“I want that too, but I don’t know how? We just have so much to figure out. How can we make it happen? I can’t ask you to uproot Matthew again.”
“And I know how you’d feel about leaving Wisconsin. I know how close you are with your family.”
My arms squeezed her tighter. “We’ll figure it out, the two of us—the four of us. There’s got to be a way! We’ll find it.”
The tears stopped, the talking stopped, and we settled down on the bed and did what lovers do to make up. It was slow and tender. Passion tempered with the emotion of what we’d just been through.
~ ~ ~
A lesson in family dynamics took place at dinner the next day. Rachael proved to be charming, yet bold enough to speak her mind about whatever topic being debated at the moment. Her male friend, Arthur, was more on the quiet side, very attentive to her and polite. As a recent retiree, he loved to travel. He and I talked football. He a Patriots fan, of course, whereas for me it was Packers. Lacey’s sister Lexi was several years younger, closer to my age and newly married. Lexi’s husband, Parker, was a know-it-all who liked arguing with Rachael about almost everything. And Lexi would support his stance, no matter how absurd a case he made. Matthew showed his social side with his family, a family to which I clearly didn’t belong in his mind.
Someone suggested we play a game after eating. Matt had a particular card game he liked, and everyone gathered back around the table to participate. It was a new game to me, but simple enough. I caught on quickly, and we played for quarters. Once your quarters were gone, you were out. Last man standing won all the money.
Matt cleaned up the competition. One by one, he picked off everyone at the table. It came down to him and me. Finally, I had him down to his last quarter, though I still had three. It occurred to me that if I won, he’d just resent me more. I began throwing the hands. Lacey peeked at my cards, catching on to my scheme. We both kept telling Matt how lucky he was. He never caught on and actually smiled as he collected several dollars’ worth of change in the end.
The rest of our visit coasted uneventfully to its conclusion when she brought me to the airport on Sunday morning. “You’re for sure coming for New Years?” I asked her. I stood there holding her in my arms in the area right before I passed through security.
“Yes. Lexi actually offered to watch Matt for me. I guess Mom and Arthur have some big party to attend on New Year’s Eve.”
“I really like your family,” I told her for the second or third time.
“Even Lexi, who suffers from youngest child syndrome?” she asked flippantly.
“Hey!” I shook her jokingly. “Watch what you say about youngest children!”
A smug look greeted me. Touching my chin, she said, “You have it, too. I just never pointed it out yet.”
“Ah, I see.” I pretended to be offended.
“My family loved you—Matt will love you one day, too. I guarantee it.”
Time to go. I kissed her, the kind of kiss I knew would make her melt against me, and it worked. “I love you. I’m really glad we got to work through some things during this trip. I can’t wait to see you again.”
~ ~ ~
The time between Thanksgiving and Christmas sped by. Sadie and I went with Tom’s family again to cut down the Christmas trees. Being eight months pregnant, Sheri came along but couldn’t do much to participate. This year Sadie chased around with her cousins, and I got my exercise trying to keep up with them. The whole idea of Christmas seemed so much more exciting and joyous than the previous year.
I put a little extra effort into decorating the house, and I bought my child twice as many gifts as I should have. Also under the tree were a couple of things I picked up for Lacey and Matt.
Every now and then, Sadie would grab one of the presents and come walking over to me with it. Then I’d send her back, telling her it wasn’t time to open them yet. The first time she cried, but after that it became a game.
One night, we were sitting in the living room with Sadie on my lap, just enjoying the lights on the tree. Sadie pointed at the tree and said, “Da, pwesent?”
“Yup, Sadie, presents. Not yet though—soon.” Christmas was just days away, which meant Lacey would be coming. I couldn’t wait for her to meet Sadie. “Sadie—say Daddy.”
We’d been over this ground many, many times.
She immediately answered, “Da.”
“Nope, say Daddy.”
She looked at me and put her tiny hands on both sides of my face. With an ear-to-ear grin, she stated, “Da!”
“No . . . Daddy,” I repeated.
With much enthusiasm, she wagged her head in the negative and said, “Da!”
Grabbing her by the head, I brought her close to me and kissed her noisily, over and over. She squealed, wiggling and giggling until both of us were out of breath. “That’s what you get when you won’t call me Daddy!” I said, laughing with her.
Bringing up her dancing eyes to mine, she coyly quipped, “Da!” Then she started giggling, again. How I loved this little girl. I couldn’t remember my life without her.
~ ~ ~
We had a white Christmas. Not much snow fell beforehand, but on Christmas Eve and Christmas Day, it snowed like crazy. Good thing Paul and Em weren’t planning to come from Minneapolis until New Year’s. The roads would’ve been awful. But it left me worried about flights in and out of the area, even though it was still several days away.
In a phone conversation, Lacey shyly asked if she should’ve made motel reservations. “No, absolutely not! You’ll stay with us. If you don’t want to share my room, I do have an extra bed upstairs.” I didn’t tell her I would first have to clear it of all the things that had accumulated there since we’d moved here almost two years ago. And when Lacey didn’t exactly come out and say she would sleep with me in my room, it meant that I needed to clear out that room just in case. Like I needed one more thing to do!
She also had some really great news: her mom and Arthur had become engaged. The wheels in my head started turning right away at this announcement, but I’d wait until she was here to feel her out on the subject.
I needed to decide whether I would bring Sadie with me to the airport or if I would drop her off at Mom’s house so we could have a little time alone. Lacey was going to arrive on New Year’s Eve day, and I invited Pete, Julie, Dalton, and Lucy to come over for snacks and drinks and to meet Lacey that night. Then on New Year’s Day we would be over at Mom’s for a meet-my-family meal. Everyone would be there.
Thursday morning, I dropped Sadie off at Mom’s just before noon, then drove to the airport. I paced nervously when I saw that her plane had been delayed out of Detroit but only by a few minutes. Before long, she bustled through the doors in the middle of a rush of people.
Meeting her with a kiss, a hug, then another kiss, I took the handle of her carry-on bag, and we walked hand in hand out to my car.
Once at my house, I led her into the kitchen I had scrubbed spotless earlier that day.
“Oh, Michael! This is a beautiful house!” She twirled around the kitchen, then checked out the living room. She knew we’d only been in the place for a month before the baby came. “I like your tree, but where are all the Christmas decorations? Our house is decked wall-to-wall in Christmas bling.”
Shrugging, I held out my arms. “I put up everything I had.”
She just smiled. “I’m teasing you.” Her eyes landed on the large wedding picture of me and Annie that still hung on the wall.
“That’s a gorgeous picture of you two.” She smiled sadly and came back over to me.
“I suppose I should take it down—”
She interrupted me by kissing my cheek. “When the time is right.”
Her bag sat on the floor next to me. “Where do you want me to put this? Either my room or the guest room. It’s up to you.”
She took ahold of my arm. “I want to spend as much time with you as I can, so your room.”
Yes!
She followed me in there, commenting on how she liked the color schemes in every room. “Can I see Sadie’s room?”
Moving down the hall, I flipped on the light. “I love it! Who was the artist, you or Annie?” She referred to the colorful clusters of animals Annie worked so diligently on. Sadie loved those animals, and she knew what each of them were.
“Annie was the creative one. I just did what she told me to.”
Lacey moved over to the wall where our pictures hung. There was the one of Annie and me with our new baby and the one of me holding Sadie when she was six months old. “I love these pictures, Michael. I can’t wait to meet her!”
We stood there with my arm around her waist. Before I got all emotional, I suggested, “Let’s go have you open your Christmas presents.”
“Presents? Like more than one?”
I chuckled. She reminded me of a little kid.
She ducked back into my bedroom, and I went to get us each a glass of wine. Coming out, she was carrying a gift for me. Sitting side by side on the couch, I put the wine on an end table, then pulled her packages from under the tree.
“You have no idea how many times I took these out of Sadie’s hands and put them back under the tree.”
“She must be so much fun.”
“She is. Let’s do this so I can go get her.” With my gaze fastened on her face, I watched as Lacey opened the box I wrapped with such care, only to have Sadie pull the bow off ten times and tear one of the corners. Lacey beamed, removing a running outfit, pants, shirt, and jacket.
“Perfect, Michael!” She leaned over to kiss me. “Now you.”
Mine was in a bag, because they needed to be able to inspect it at the airport. Taking the tissue paper out, I found a running jacket, and I laughed. “Oh, geez, we’re really original! I love it.” Holding it up to look at it, there was an envelope in the pocket.
Smiling at me over her wine glass, she said, “Open that, too.” Inside were two weekend passes to one of the premier ski areas in Vermont.
“Seriously? Wow—nice! I haven’t skied in a couple of years.”
“Guess we know what we’ll be doing the next time you come!”
“Awesome!” I kissed her, then instructed her to open the last gift.
The box was oblong, small. Lifting the cover revealed the shimmering diamond and silver earrings. “Oh, Michael! These are beautiful! Thank you! I’ll wear them tonight.”
“Merry Christmas.” Our lips met and lingered. “Happy New Year. I love you, Lacey.” The words flowed out so easily. I waited.
On the back of my neck her fingers played with my ear and the hair behind it. “I love you, too.”
Breathe. We kissed a few more times. It would’ve been so easy to forget about everything else, but I had a daughter to pick up and company coming for the evening.
While I got Sadie, Lacey stayed behind to freshen up. In the car, I worked on trying to get Sadie to say “Lacey.” The best she could do was “Acey.” Close enough. Carrying her into the house, we found Lacey sitting on a stool at the island.
“Hi, Sadie! Oh, my gosh, Michael. Look at her!” A huge smile graced her face with tears in her eyes. She also had on her new earrings. “She’s adorable.”
“So are you, nice earrings and all. Sadie, this is Lacey, can you say hi?” Her arm went around my neck, and she buried her face into my shoulder. I patted her back and kissed her head. “Come on, let’s get your jacket off. Do you want some juice?”
Her head popped up. “Yup!” Scrambling out of my arms, her jacket slipped off, and I put her in her high chair. I gave her juice and a handful of crunchy snacks. Lacey sat down near her, gazing at her with her chin in her hand.
“It’s been so long since Matt was little like this. I just love watching her. I love watching you with her. It’s so sexy to see a man show his tender side.” Shaking my head, I had to smile. Annie said the same thing, it had to be true. Sadie was certainly going to add a new dimension to this visit.
Party prep was in full swing. I had beef in the crockpot for sandwiches. I’d forgotten the buns, so the three of us ran to the store and got all kinds of snacks plus the rolls. Pete and Julie arrived first after leaving Eli with the grandparents. Hugs all around, it was like old times with the four of us. A while later Lucy and Dalton came. I introduced them to Lacey, and they both were very warm and receptive. We passed around drinks and settled in the living room while the cheesy potatoes Lucy brought baked in the oven.
“So I was teasing Michael about his Christmas decorating,” Lacey said, rubbing my back.
“Oh—you really do call him Michael. I thought Julie was kidding!” Lucy said, and everyone laughed while I did my man blush.
Lacey giggled. “I just always have, from the very first time we met. It suits him, don’t you think?” The guys had a field day with that.
From there, the conversation wandered all over the place. We talked and ate and drank. Sadie was on her best behavior and went down for the night at about eight-thirty. We had nowhere to be early in the morning, no need to drive, my baby in bed, and my girlfriend at my side. We had every reason to celebrate, and we did.
Well after mid-night, the guests left. I was still collecting empty dishes and glasses from the end tables when Lacey went into the bedroom. She exited the bathroom in a long-sleeve knee-length white nightgown as I came into the bedroom.
I smiled, then started laughing, as the effects of the alcohol lingered, and she pressed herself against me.
“What’s so funny?” But she started laughing, too. We stood there, blissfully intoxicated. Finally, Lacey separated from me and pulled back the covers on the bed, crawling in. “Come keep me warm.” She patted the spot next to her.
Leaving on my T-shirt and underwear, I joined her. Face to face, she touched my lips with her finger. “I think tonight was really fun, don’t you? I like your friends. I love your daughter!”
“They all loved you, too.”
“Michael, they brought up that Callie person again. Are you sure nothing happened between you two?”
Smiling, I reassured her, “No, I told you about her.”
“Tell me about everyone you’ve been with.”
I laughed. “Okay, but you go first. Who’ve you slept with?”
She rolled over on her back and took her hands out from under the covers to use them to count. Oh man, maybe I don’t want to know the answer to this one.
“Well, when I was a junior in high school I went out with Grant Eastman, who was a very sophisticated senior. He was so sweet to me, and after prom—you know. We stayed together the whole summer, at least until he went away to college and that ended that. Then there was the French foreign exchange student Jean-Pierre, who had gorgeous hazel eyes and a sexy smirk and an accent. That was my senior year. In college there was Tyler, who I eventually married.” She looked at me and started giggling. “And there was a summer thing with this guy who fell off his motorcycle—”
Rolling my eyes, I looked up at the ceiling, laughing. “Geez, Lacey—”
“What are you saying? You wanted to know.”
“I guess I did, go on.”
“And Braden—that’s it. That’s not so bad, is it? In college I knew some girls who went through that many in a month. Now, your turn.”
Turning back to her, I put my hand on the side of her face. “You.” I brought my lips to hers. “Annie, and you.” Another kiss followed.
“And—”
“Well, if you count the time I came in my pants when Kate and I were making out in high school—” I started laughing. “No, that shouldn’t count.”
“Ew! Michael, TMI!” Ripples of laughter erupted from her.
“Talk about embarrassing!”
“Okay, stop! So you’re telling me you’ve only been with Annie and me?”
“Yup.”
Her eyes grew wider, but were no longer focused on mine, and she didn’t say anything more.
“Lacey?”
“Michael, I was the first?”
I nodded.
“Oh—” Her breath caught.
Putting my arms around her, I pulled her close to me. “Are you feeling bad about that, Lacey?” My lips connected with the side of her head. “Because I felt like I was the luckiest guy in the world, and you were a gift from God, or maybe the devil.” She sniveled into my chest with a weak simper, and my lips touched hers again. “You really couldn’t tell I had no idea what I was doing?” Moving back, I waited for her to finally look at me, both of us fighting to keep from laughing.
Good thing my wonderful teacher taught me well since that time. I straddled Lacey and started to explore, my hands finding the lower edge of her gown.