Chapter Twenty-Six
Annie – Sunday
The entire drive home, all I could think about was Justin and his predicament. I wished that I could have had some better advice for him, and maybe I should have come up with something, but I couldn’t think of anything to say to make it any better. His brother was clearly an idiot, obviously at fault for drunk driving, but that didn’t make it any easier to handle.
Sometimes, it was too easy to forgive the faults of the ones we loved. I knew that only too well. I’d made that mistake over and over again, and it wasn’t until the situation was over that I could see how much of a fool I’d been.
As I pulled up at Mom’s house, I tried to push it all to the back of my mind. I’d missed Rae like crazy and I couldn’t wait to see her again, so I didn’t want our reunion to be tainted with me worrying about anything else. I slid out of the car, my heart racing like crazy, and my spirits lifted the second I saw her there, standing outside, excitedly waiting for me.
“Mommy!” she yelled, while bounding her way over to me. “I missed you, how have you been?”
As she jumped up into my arms and I held her close, I felt complete. It was fun having a vacation, a break from real life with Justin, but it felt best of all to be back with my daughter. We’d spent so long just being the two of us that she really felt like home to me.
“I’m good, thank you, sweetie.” I kissed the top of her head, inhaling her wonderful, familiar scent. “How have you been? Did you have fun with Grandma?”
“We baked cupcakes, and watched cartoons, and went to the park…” she instantly started on her roll, and as she talked, I looked up gratefully to Mom. She looked a little worn out, as if Rae had run her ragged, but happy, too. I vowed in that moment to make more of an effort. I would see her more and bring Rae to stay with her, too. I wouldn’t let being too busy get in the way again.
Especially not now that my entire life plan had changed…
“How was she?” I asked Mom the moment Rae stopped talking.
“Good as gold,” she replied happily. “Not one bit of trouble. Now, you’ve just had a very long drive; would you like to come in for a drink?”
“That sounds wonderful, thank you.” That was exactly what I needed: a coffee and a chat. I wouldn’t discuss all the gory details with Mom; it didn’t feel right to do so, especially when Justin didn’t seem to fully know what had happened, but I could get her point of view for some of it at least.
As soon as Mom had poured the drinks, she dove right into her line of questioning, proving that she could already tell there was something on my mind.
“So, how was your trip? You’re awfully quiet, which means it didn’t quite turn out as expected. Did you sign any contracts?”
Oh God, that was the least of my worries by this point. “No I didn’t. I don’t think it’s for me, to be honest. The percentage of the business that Justin’s company would need to make it work for him was too much. I’ve worked too hard to create Boffees and I’m not willing to give up the control.”
“Okay,” she nodded agreeably. “So what’s next for you? Will you try with other investors?”
Even the idea of that made me weary. Eventually, I would have to make up my mind, but for now, I just wanted to chill out about the whole thing. I just needed a rest from thinking about it. “I don’t know,” I confessed. “I will have to start from square one and write the whole plan again to make my needs clear so I don’t get swallowed up by a big corporation…”
“You know, you are allowed to simply be proud of what you have,” she told me kindly. This was surprisingly something of a revelation for me. I’d spent such a long time thinking about the next step, focusing on expanding, on moving forward, that I’d never really thought about staying where I was. “You could throw all of that ambition into the Boffees you already have.”
“Maybe,” I nodded half-heartedly, not wanting to commit to anything by this stage. “We’ll see.”
“So, why were you in Portland so long? Surely you could have come back yesterday?” There was a twinkle in her eye, one that suggested she already suspected what had happened. “Did Justin keep you distracted?”
“Sort of,” I couldn’t stop myself from blushing and smiling, so there wasn’t any point in hiding it. “I like him a lot.”
“It’s about time,” she replied seriously. “You’ve been alone for far too long. As long as he’s good with Rae and treats you well, that’s all you need to worry about.”
“Ooh, that reminds me!” I exclaimed, pulling the gift from my bag. “Rae, Justin got this for you.”
She squealed and unwrapped it in a heartbeat, revealing all kinds of puzzles and games that I knew would keep her amused for hours. It was an incredibly sweet and thoughtful gift…a bit like the dress he got for me. The one I had hidden at the bottom of my suitcase. I wasn’t about to reveal that to anyone for fear of looking like a gold digger.
“Mom, I love it! Tell Justin thank you!” Rae cried out, before racing into the other room to work her way through some of it.
“Wow, that’s nice!” Mom hissed to me. “He seems like a really good one. I take it you had a good weekend, despite refusing the investment then?”
“Well, we did at first, but it got interrupted by his brother. He seems quite troubled; it looks like he relies on Justin a lot, and he ended up in jail. I don’t fully know what happened, but it seems to be drink related.”
Mom pursed her lips together, clearly unimpressed by this, but to her credit, she didn’t say anything. She could have warned me to stay away from a family with such issues, but she didn’t. She let me make my own decisions, even if they were mistakes.
“Yeah, so he’s caught up in that for the moment. I don’t really know what’s going to happen after this, but I suppose we’ll work that out when everything is sorted.”
“Well, I’m glad you had a nice time, and that you’ve met someone you like. I was starting to think that your past had put you off men forever.”
Of course, she was talking about Rae’s father, which was a conversation that I needed to shut down quickly. I didn’t want her to start asking me if I’d told Rae the truth yet because I hadn't. Luckily, she hadn't brought it up, so I hadn't needed to, but I wasn’t sure that Mom would see it the same way.
“Me, too, to be honest, which makes me glad I met Justin. Even if it doesn’t work out between us, I’ll always be grateful to him for that.” I was saying that to save face because I desperately wanted it to work out, I just didn’t want Mom to start worrying about me.
“Well, you look tired, so you girls can stay here tonight, if you want?”
I did want that, I needed to be near people, but Justin would eventually call me tonight and that was a conversation I needed to have in private. “Oh, I’m sorry, I have work early in the morning, but maybe another time,” I smiled. “Thank you for the offer, though.” I did need to get back to work, so that part wasn’t a lie. I was actually quite looking forward to getting back to some form of normality.
“Okay, well my door is always open. You girls can stay whenever you like.”
***
It took me a while to get Rae all organized and back home, but as soon as I did, the tiredness became evident in her expression. I didn’t have the strength to argue with her, so I allowed her to get straight into my bed, where I lay with her, tangling her hair around my fingers. She didn’t like being alone at night, and I needed her right now anyway, so I was happy to have her with me.
I kept glancing over to my phone, to check that it hadn't magically rung and I’d missed a call, but the screen remained frustratingly blank. I needed to speak to Justin, I had to find out if he was okay. I wanted to know what had happened, which was making it incredibly hard for me to respect his space.
The moment I heard Rae snoring lightly, I couldn’t resist any longer. I had to know, just to check in on him. As the phone rang, my heart pounded loudly in my chest and a tight knot formed in my stomach, and all of that only got worse when he actually answered. He sounded so hurt by all that he was going through that it made me want to reach down the phone to hug him close.
“Thank you. I appreciate that. And…take care of yourself, okay?” he eventually said, making my heart sink. That sounded far too much like a final goodbye for my liking. Are we done here? Was it just a short fling, and now that the heavy stuff had interfered, he wants to end it? I wanted to ask him, I needed to know where I stood, but I couldn’t bring it up. I couldn’t pile on any more pressure – not while he was going through so much.
I stared at the phone for a long time after he hung up, wondering what I could have said differently, what I could have done to change things, but it was too late for that now. He was in Portland, miles away, not thinking about me at all.
I couldn’t help myself. A single tear rolled down my cheek, which I brushed angrily away. I shouldn’t have been crying over something that was so short, but I’d thrown so much of myself into this. I’d allowed myself to be vulnerable when usually I had my walls up high, and now that was being thrown back into my face.
And, the worst part was Roy had kind of warned me this might happen. He had said that Justin was a good guy, but that his brother could be a nightmare, and he was so right. That was exactly how things had gone.
I actually considered calling him for a moment, to get his opinion on the whole thing, before realizing that would be crazy. He would think I was some kind of crazy stalker and probably warn Justin off me completely. No, if I was going to talk to him about it, I would have to bring it up causally when he was in the store.
What I needed to do now was try to forget everything and at least attempt to get some sleep. I really did have to work out what I was going to do with Boffees and while I couldn’t do anything about Justin’s issues, I could do something about that. I needed to make a plan. I needed to decide what my future was going to be for Rae’s sake.
Did I continue to kill myself trying to find an investor who could potentially take away the core of Boffees, but could secure a good financial future for my daughter? Or did I stop it, like Mom said, and focus on what I had? Whatever choice I made next had to be the right one; I didn’t want to end up with any regrets, which was why I needed to take my time and do it right.