Chapter 28
Lydia
I pad out of the girls’ bedroom after tucking them in for the night and make my way next door to Theo’s room. He’s in bed in his darkened room, wearing his brand-new Mickey Mouse pajamas and reading the book about animation I bought him at one of Disneyland’s souvenir shops with a flashlight.
“Time for bed, buddy,” I say softly.
“One more chapter.”
I take the book out of his hands and turn off his flashlight. “Sweetie, it’s way past your bedtime. Your book will be here tomorrow.” I sit on the edge of his bed. “Wasn’t that a magical trip?”
“Best birthday ever.”
“What was your favorite part?”
I’m expecting Theo to name a particular ride or attraction, but he surprises me by saying, “Getting to spend time with everyone.”
“I know your grandparents sure loved getting to spend time with you and the girls.”
“You think we cheered Grandma up a little bit? I’m not sure we did.”
My stomach tightens. “Sure, we did. Spending time with all of us was the best medicine for her.”
He looks unconvinced. “Grandma just looks so sad all the time.” He chews the inside of his cheek. “Can I tell you something and you promise not to get mad?”
“I’ll do my best.”
He sighs. “I don’t want to be mean, but it’s hard to be around Grandma sometimes. I feel like she’s mad at me if I’m having fun.”
Out of the mouths of babes. “Let’s just try to have compassion for Grandma, okay? Everyone handles grief differently.”
“Yeah, but I heard her talking to Grandpa about you when we were in line for Thunder Mountain and she said she’s not sure how come you’re able to laugh and be so happy all the time. She said it was a good thing and that she was glad you’re doing so well, but the way she said it seemed like she thought it was a bad thing you’re happy.”
My stomach turns over. “And what did Grandpa say in reply to that?”
“I couldn’t hear.”
I press my lips together. I feel physically ill. “Like I said, we just need to have compassion for Grandma.” Fuck. “So how’s school going, buddy? You haven’t mentioned Caleb in a while. I take that as a good sign.”
Theo shrugs. “It’s okay.”
“Is Caleb still teasing you?”
Again, Theo shrugs.
“Theo, tell me what’s going on. Is Caleb still teasing you?”
“He doesn’t tease me, Mom. He tortures me. But there’s nothing anyone can do about it so I don’t want to talk about it anymore.”
“Dang it,” I whisper. “Okay. Here’s what we’re going to do, honey. I’m going into that school tomorrow and I’m going to talk to Mrs. Dupont and demand—”
“No, Mom,” Theo says sharply. “Please. Just let me handle it, okay? We’ve tried all that and it didn’t work. No offense, but whenever you’ve done something to ‘help’ me, things have just gotten worse.”
“But Theo. I can’t let you—”
“Mom, listen to me. Caleb has way more friends than me. Every time Mrs. Dupont talks to him and tells him to stop being a jerk to me, someone else starts doing everything for him. He’s like a freaking cult leader.”
“Theo, I can’t let that boy torture you anymore. He needs to be expelled from school.”
“Just, please, Mom. I just need to turn invisible and get him to ignore me. That’s all I have to do. If I need your help again, I’ll ask you.”
I rub my forehead. It’s times like this that I wish Darren were here. He’d know what to do to help our sweet little boy. “Are you planning to physically harm him in any way, Theo?”
Theo scoffs. “Of course not. I’m just planning to be invisible and make him lose interest. It’s not that much longer before the school year is over. Once we’re in middle school, I’m betting he’ll totally forget I exist.”
I sigh. I truly don’t know what to do.
“Mom, please. I’ve made up my mind. Just let me try it my way now.”
I look into his dark brown eyes and I see Darren telling me to let him try to fight his own battles. “Okay, Theo, I’ll let you handle this your way for a little while, just to try it out. But only if you promise me two things. One, you’ll come to me right away the second you think maybe you can’t handle things on your own.”
Theo nods.
“Promise me.”
“I promise.”
“And, two, you’ll always answer me honestly whenever I ask you how school is going. No lies or sugarcoating, ever.”
“Promise.”
I take Theo’s hand and kiss it. “I’m so sorry you’re going through this, honey. I’m sick about it.”
“It’s okay. I’m used to it.”
Oh, my heart. I stand and open my mouth to ask if he’s wearing his nighttime wetness alarm. It’s the same thing I’ve asked him every single night before heading out of his room for quite some time. But, tonight, for the first time ever, I stop myself. Clearly, my boy doesn’t want to be coddled any more. If Theo’s not wearing his wetness alarm tonight, then that’s his business. Come what may. He knows where we keep the extra sheets if he needs them. “Good night, my love,” I say softly, bending down and kissing Theo’s forehead. “I love you so much.”
“I love you, too, Mom. Thanks again for taking us to Disneyland. It was even better than I thought it’d be.”
“You’re welcome. It was pure joy to see you having so much fun.” No matter what Grandma thinks.
I stand over my beautiful son for a long moment, watching him fall asleep, my heart aching with love for him. But after a few minutes of me standing over him, staring at his perfect little face in repose, Theo opens his eyes and whispers, “Um, Mom? No offense, but could you go now? It’s kind of creepy having you standing there watching me.”
I chuckle, wipe my eyes, kiss his soft forehead one more time, and tiptoe out of the room.