Chapter 19
Colby
Well, that was weird. Lydia hasn’t answered a phone call once during the time she’s been working on me. I hope there’s nothing wrong.
Five minutes pass before Lydia returns from her call, looking frazzled.
“Everything okay?” I ask.
“Everything’s fine,” she says, forcing a smile. She takes the chair next to my bed. “What were we talking about?”
“You sure you’re okay? You look upset.”
“I’m fine.”
I wait, expecting her to say more, but she doesn’t. Shit. What just happened? Her walls are suddenly up. And damn if that’s not the paradox of Lydia Decker right there. She’s the most open and warm and earthy woman I’ve ever met... and yet simultaneously the most mysterious and guarded, too. It sounds impossible to mix that set of traits, but Lydia somehow manages to do it. It’s sexy as hell, yeah. But perplexing, too.
“Well, if you need anything,” I say. “I’m your guy. Unless, of course, what you need would require me to stand, walk, carry anything with both hands, or throw a punch.”
Lydia smiles, but she’s obviously preoccupied. “I’ll keep that in mind.”
There’s an awkward beat.
“So, Lydia,” I say. I take a deep breath. I can’t remember the last time I asked a woman out and felt nervous like this. It’s awful. I clear my throat and just spit it out. “My family’s having dinner tonight to celebrate me getting sprung from this joint. Nothing fancy—just my immediate family, plus Keane’s best friend, Zander.” Oh, God, I feel like a freshman in high school asking the prom queen on a date. I take another deep breath and force myself to pretend I’m Ryan—the little trick I used to use in high school whenever I felt shy about hitting on a girl. “So, anyway, Lydia, I’m hoping you’ll join our dinner party. It wouldn’t feel right celebrating without having you there.”
Lydia makes a face that tells me she’s about to turn me down...
And I panic.
“Before you answer,” I blurt awkwardly, no trace of Captain Ryan Ulysses Morgan in my tone whatsoever, “you should know my mother is making her legendary lasagna and it’ll change your life.” Jesus Christ, Colby.
Lydia smiles. “Wow. I love lasagna. And I love your family. But, unfortunately, I’ve got plans tonight—plans I can’t change.”
My spirit thuds into my toes. “Oh, no worries,” I say. “I knew it was a long shot with such short notice. Maybe another time.”
“Oh, absolutely,” she says brightly...
And my spirit rockets back up into my chest. “Awesome,” I say. “It’s a rain check, then. But, hey, if we’re going to do dinner another time, then why don’t we make it a real date and make it just the two of us?”
There. I said it.
Lydia opens and closes her mouth, suddenly looking flustered.
Fuck. I said it.
Thanks for nothing, Ryan.
Lydia lets out a long exhale. She looks stressed. “Actually, Colby, now that you’ve explicitly asked me out on a date, I think I’d better say something to you. Maybe I should have brought it up sooner, but I didn’t want to say anything unless I was sure you were interested in me romantically.” She looks at me sideways. “Wait. You’re interested in me romantically, right? You just asked me out on a date because you’re interested in me as more than a friend?”
I grin. “Yes, I’m interested in you romantically. And, yes, I want to be much more than friends.”
Lydia bites back a huge smile. “Okay. That’s what I thought. So, in that case, I think I should mention there’s this policy against physical therapists engaging in ‘romantic relations’ with their current patients. It’s against the rules for my employment and the licensing standards with the state of Washington.”
I feel like laughing with relief. Is that what’s been bothering her this whole time—the reason I sometimes feel her walls shoot up around me? A stupid rule against dating a patient? Ha! A rule I can deal with. A lack of attraction toward me, not so much.
Lydia continues, “There’s good reason for the rule. You’re vulnerable, physically and emotionally. The most you’ve ever been, most likely. You need to be able to put your trust in your caregivers, with no misunderstandings or lines even possibly crossed.” She fidgets. “If anything is ever going to happen between us, it will have to wait until you’re no longer my patient. Okay?”
And... Captain Ryan Morgan re-enters my body. Only, I’ll be damned, he’s morphed into Colby Cheese Morgan. “Nope,” I say smoothly, without a hint of remorse. “Not okay. I’m not going to wait five months to ‘engage in romantic relations’ with you, Lydia. Sorry not sorry. The minute I’m able to make a move on you, that’s what I’m going to do.”
She looks positively flabbergasted. “You’re joking, right?”
“No. I’m insanely attracted to you in a way I’ve never experienced before and I’m positive I won’t be able to wait that long to hit on you. So I’m not going to lie to you about it now. I’m coming for you.”
Lydia’s eyebrows shoot up. “But... Colby. You can’t. I could get fired.”
“Put that aside for a minute. Are you interested romantically in me, Lydia?”
She turns bright red.
“Just tell me the truth. If you’re not, then this is a moot point. Just tell me if you’re interested enough to want to go on a date with me at some point and see where this thing might lead?”
She takes a deep breath. “Yes.”
“Good. Thought so. Then I’m not waiting five months. The minute my body is capable of making a move on you, that’s what I’m going to do.”
“You can’t.”
“I can.”
“Please don’t.”
“I will.”
“Colby, this isn’t a joke. I don’t want to get fired or lose my license. Please.”
I scoff. “You won’t get fired, Lydia. No one will ever know besides us. It’ll be a victimless crime. I’m not a child or elderly person. I’m not vulnerable in any way.”
“It’s not that simple, Colby. The rules are the rules.” She looks toward the door and lowers her voice. “There’s this PT I work with—and she made a point of telling me about the policy. She’s got it out for me and she’s just waiting for me to screw up. I need to be careful and toe the line. Plus, like I said, there’s good reason for the rule. You may not realize it, but you are vulnerable. I need to follow the rule for ethical reasons, not just to avoid getting fired.”
I roll my eyes. “Lydia, give me a break. I’m a thirty-year-old firefighter with a major hard-on for you.”
She laughs, despite herself.
“You wouldn’t be taking advantage of me. I’m of sound mind. Sound body? Not yet. But I know exactly what I’m doing and what I want. And as far as that other PT goes, fuck her. She won’t be in the room when we finally ‘engage in romantic relations,’ will she? So I don’t see how she’ll ever know what the hell we do behind closed doors.”
“That’s not the point. Ethics is doing the right thing, even when nobody is watching.”
I suddenly feel like the Big Bad Wolf outside the first Little Piggy’s thatched hut. I’m completely turned on by the idea of blowing Lydia’s little house down. “Ethics doesn’t apply here,” I say. “It’s a paper rule when applied to us. I’m seducing you. Not the other way around. Trust me on that.”
She’s blushing. “Okay, stop it. I’m telling you we’ve got to remain professional until you’re no longer my patient and that’s final. Whenever I touch you, you need to feel confident I’m touching you appropriately.”
I have the urge to say “Please don’t.” But I refrain. She looks serious and I don’t want to push her too hard. So I just sort of half nod, even though I have no intention of sitting back for the next five months and being nothing but her friendly patient. “Lydia,” I say. “I can promise you this: I’d never do anything to jeopardize your job or career.”
Her shoulders relax. “Thank you for understanding, Colby. I’m sorry if it seems like I led you on. I didn’t know about the policy until yesterday, to be honest, and then I didn’t feel sure there was any need to mention it to you.” Lydia rises from her chair. “Good talk. I have to run to an appointment in the outpatient clinic. Congrats on getting out of here today. Who’s coming to get you?”
“Ryan and Kat. Everyone else will be at my parents’ house when we get there.”
“Awesome. Say hi to everyone for me. I’ll see you in two days at the outpatient clinic.”
“Two days? Holy hell! I’m gonna be in the throes of severe Lydia-withdrawals by then.”
Lydia’s cheeks bloom. “Yeah, I’ll definitely be experiencing severe Colby-withdrawals by then, too.” She palms her forehead. “Gah. Now see what you did? I’m weak around you. No more flirting, Colby. I’m serious.”
I smile broadly.
She twists her mouth adorably at me, trying and failing not to return my smile, and then looks at her watch again. “Crap. I’m late. Do you need anything before I head off?”
“Nope. Run, Lydia, run.”
Lydia looks at me sideways. “What aren’t you telling me?”
“Nothing. Bye now.”
Lydia turns like she’s going to dart away from me but then shocks the hell out of me by pivoting and giving me a hug on my good side. “I hate goodbyes,” she murmurs into my shoulder.
Electricity jolts through me. She’s never hugged me before. I stick my nose into her hair and breathe in her glorious scent. Stroke the back of her head with my good hand. “This isn’t goodbye,” I coo. “Just two days of torture and we’ll see each other again.”
“But we’ll never be exactly like this again,” she whispers. “The clinic will always be crowded with other people.” She pulls out of our embrace and I’m shocked to see her eyes glistening. “The time we’ve spent together alone in this room has been pure magic, Colby.”
I touch her face. “You’re the silver lining to the worst storm cloud of my life, Lydia. A beautiful angel.”
Lydia smiles through her tears. “That’s what you wrote on the whiteboard about me the first day we met in the ICU. Beautiful angel.”
“I did? Is that the ‘entertaining’ thing I wrote to you?”
She blushes and it’s instantly clear she’s hiding something from me—something I wrote to her that’s far more “entertaining” than “beautiful angel.”
I look at her sideways. “What did I write to you, Lydia? Come on. Give it up.”
She presses her lips together, looks down at her watch again, and gasps. “Crap! I’m super late. I’ve gotta go.” She sprints toward the door, waving to me as she goes. “See you Friday, my friendly and professional patient!”
And that’s it. My beautiful angel is gone and I’m left wondering two things: one, how the fuck I’m going to survive two whole days without seeing those hazel eyes of hers, and, two, what the fuck “entertaining” bullshit crazy-ass thing I wrote to the woman of my dreams on that goddamned white board.