Chapter 29
Lydia
After three nights of sharing a hotel room with my three kids and three days of getting sucked dry by the emotional vampire that is my mother-in-law, it’s finally “me” time, baby.
I unlock the top drawer of my nightstand with greedy hands, rummage through my vast selection of vibrators and dildos and G-spot stimulators, and settle upon an extra-long, extra-thick silicone dildo with all the bells and whistles that, when I’m particularly excitable, gives me intense G-spot orgasms that make my eyes roll back into my head. It’s not a sure thing with this particular piece of equipment, I must admit. My G-spot is an unreliable little bitch. But tonight my body is telling me to swing for the fences.
I slip into my bed with my chosen toy, my nipples hardening with anticipation, and slide Colby’s dick inside me.
“Fuck me, Colby,” I whisper softly, licking my lips.
And he does.
Oh, yes, he does.
I swipe into the pictures on my phone and find the one of Colby’s smiling face I swiped off the Seattle Fire Department’s website. It’s the same shot of Colby I saw on TV the day of the fire. The one that made me get up from that table in the break room and head straight for Colby’s room in the ICU.
“Fuck me, Colby,” I breathe, looking at his gorgeous face and working the dildo roughly inside me.
Oh, yeah, I’m getting close now.
I imagine Colby on top of me. Not the broken and on-the-mend Colby I know, but a fully healed version of him. A powerful version. Strong. Animalistic. In charge. My fingernails dig into Colby’s muscled back as he thrusts and moves passionately on top of me. “Harder,” I whisper softly, working the dildo to maximum effect.
Oh, yeah, I’m on the bitter cusp of cracking wide open now.
I swipe into the next photo on my phone—the photo I took of the message Colby wrote to me on the white board. The words he scrawled just before passing out cold.
After I snapped my photo of Colby’s message, I quickly erased it, of course. I didn’t want him to wake up and see it and feel compelled to apologize for it or take it back. Intellectually, I knew Colby’s note to me wasn’t real. That it was nothing but a drug-fueled hallucination. But I didn’t care. My body wanted to pretend the words were real. My heart, body, soul... the tingling between my legs... all of those things wanted to believe in fairytales. I’ve already lived one fairytale, after all. Why not again? And so, I snapped my photo and erased the board, and I’ve been looking at it nightly ever since.
“Say it to me, Colby,” I grit out, staring at the photo of Colby’s scrawled message on my phone.
Strong, powerful, sexy Colby whispers the words he wrote on the white board into my ear as he gyrates on top of me and, just like that, my core releases with a powerful orgasm that makes my insides shudder and warp.
When the waves of undulating pleasure stop seizing my womb, I stare at the ceiling, tears welling in my eyes. I’ll never love another man. That’s the promise I made to my husband as I held his hand for the last time. And it didn’t even occur to me at the time I might be over-promising. Indeed, when I said those words to Darren’s lifeless body, they seemed as safe and true and unyielding as “the sky is blue.”
And then I laid eyes on Colby Morgan. And everything I thought I knew about the color of the sky was no more.
My phone buzzes next to me on the bed. I pick it up and gasp. Speak of the devil. It’s a text from Colby.
Hey, Lydia. I hope you had fun in D-Land. Can’t wait to hear about it tomorrow. Our family dinner with Josh went amazingly well. Kat’s baby news is now officially out! I’ll tell you everything when I see you. Just wanted you to know I’ve been thinking about you and realized I owe you a big apology. I was dismissive about that employment policy and that wasn’t cool. You’re genuinely worried your job might be on the line if you get involved with me or if I flirt with you too much and I brushed off your concerns. I’m sorry. From here on out, I promise to be your friendly patient with a massive but well-hidden crush on you. When you’re no longer my PT, I’m going to ask you out on a real date and hope to God you say yes. But until then, I’ll keep my feelings well hidden, per your request. You’re a beautiful person, inside and out, Lydia. Truly, the most beautiful woman I’ve ever met. I’d never do anything that even potentially puts your career at risk or causes you a nanosecond of anxiety. See you tomorrow, Beautiful. Much love, Colby
I stare at my screen for a long time, my mind and heart racing in equal measure. After reading and re-reading the message probably ten times, I finally tap out a reply that doesn’t reflect how I feel in my heart in the slightest:
Hi Colby. I was just now lying here thinking about you. Thank you for understanding. Honestly, I can’t wait for the day when you ask me out on a real date but now is not the time. Thank you for understanding. XOXO Lydia
I stare at the response I just sent, my heart aching, and finally tap out a quick add-on.
P.S. Just so you know, when I’m no longer your PT and you ask me out on a real date, I’m going to say yes.