Chapter 71
Lydia
“This is seriously the best champagne I’ve ever tasted in my life,” I say. “And these scallops are amazing.”
“Amazing,” Colby says, but he seems preoccupied.
I glance at the musicians in the corner of my small dining room—a violinist, violist, and cellist—and giggle. “I think three musicians probably made a whole lot more sense when this dinner was planned for Josh and Kat’s house. Here, it kind of feels like those poor ladies have been stuffed into a clown car, don’t you think?” I laugh again... but Colby doesn’t laugh with me. His features are tight. His brow is furrowed. Clearly, he’s got something on his mind. I put down my fork. “Okay, love. Talk to me. It’s obvious you’ve got something you need to get off your chest.”
“Yeah, um, hang on.” He gets up and whispers to the three musicians in the corner and they nod, put down their instruments, and quietly leave the room.
And, just like that, I understand what’s going on. Colby is finally going to propose! Just last week, when he asked me to start trying for a baby, I said, “Not until you put a ring on it.” And now he’s going to put a ring on it!
Colby returns to the table, but instead of kneeling like I think he’s going to do, he resumes his chair.
I exhale, vaguely disappointed.
Colby takes a deep breath. “Lydia, I love you with all my heart. And I love the kids. I truly consider them my own.”
Okay, we’re back in business, folks! “I know you do,” I say, trying to keep my voice from rising three octaves. “And we all love you.”
Colby takes another deep breath. “I don’t know if what I’m about to say is going to offend you or be insensitive. And if it is, just know my intentions are good.”
Um. Huh? “Sweetheart, your intentions in everything you do are good,” I say. “I’d never doubt that. Just say it, whatever it is.”
“You’re sure you want to marry me, right?”
I furrow my brow. Was that Colby’s idea of a marriage proposal? Because if so, it sucked balls.
“Oh... no,” Colby says. He laughs, apparently reading my facial expression. “That wasn’t my proposal. I just meant...” He exhales. “Crap. Let me start over.” He takes a quick sip of his wine. “I mean when I ask you to marry me, which I’m going to do in the near future and not like that, I’m thinking I’d like to involve the kids in the moment because our marriage won’t be two people coming together, it’ll be five. Would that disappoint you if I included them?”
I melt. “I think that’d be lovely.”
He exhales. “Okay, good. That’s the first thing I wanted to ask you. And the second thing is this.” He swallows hard. “Can I please legally adopt your three kids?”
My heart stops.
Colby puts up a palm. “Don’t answer me right away. Just, please, give it some thought. I know Darren is their father and always will be. I would never want to take that away from him or the kids. But I want to be their legal parent in case anything ever happened to me or to us. To make sure they’d get my death benefits if something happened. To make sure my parents would have a say in their care if something happened to both of us.” He shrugs. “And, honestly, I just want to be their legal parent for no other reason than I want to be their parent. But if that’s an offensive or insensitive thing to ask, then I understand.”
As I listen to Colby speak, Darren’s mother’s face keeps flashing across my mind. I can physically hear her sobbing in my ear and saying I’ve betrayed her son and that if anything were to happen to me, she and Darren’s father would be the ones to care for my children, not Colby or the Morgans. If I say yes to Colby about this, it’s a hundred percent certainty Darren’s mother will never, ever forgive me as long as she lives.
I tune back into Colby. He’s still trying to convince me to let him please be the legally responsible, living father of my children. “So just think about it,” he says in conclusion. “No rush on your decision.”
I grab his hand. “Yes.”
Colby’s face lights up. “Yes?”
I nod. “Yes.”
“You don’t need to think about it?”
“Nope.”
He squeezes my hand. “I’ll always honor Darren. You know that, right? He’s their daddy. I just want to be their Colby. Or, if they’re up for it, their other daddy. The one holding down the fort on earth while their other one is waiting to see them in heaven.”
Tears spring to my eyes. “And that’s why saying yes to this is such a no-brainer.” I wipe my eyes. “We’ll have to talk to the kids about it first. Explain it to them. Gauge their reactions. And I’d recommend you talk to Theo separately. He’s the only one who remembers Darren well. He’d probably like being given the choice.”
“Sounds good.” Colby kisses me and then kisses me again, and soon, predictably, our kissing turns passionate. He whispers, “I’ve lost my appetite for food. I’m hungry for Lydia. Let’s tell all these people to get out. The kids will be back at eleven and there are at least ten ways I want to fuck you before then.”
“Check please!” I shout to no one, raising my arm, and we both laugh.
With a quick kiss to my lips and a playful little honk of my boob, Colby gets up, throws his napkin down, and heads off to clear the house.