Chapter 34
Lydia
I close the sliding glass door behind me and take two steps around a corner and there’s Colby, slowly swimming the length of a small lap pool, looking much more like an injured fish on a line than Michael Phelps.
I make my way to the edge of the pool and watch him, gathering my courage. After about a half-minute, Colby spots me and abruptly stops swimming. He stands in the middle area of the small pool, staring at me, his chest heaving. Water is dripping off his muscular chest. His hair is slicked back, making him look like a European commercial for cologne.
“Hi,” he says simply, his eyes blazing.
I wave.
Colby tilts his head. “What’s wrong, sweetheart?”
I can’t speak.
Colby drifts toward me until he’s standing directly under me in the pool. “Tell me what’s wrong, Lydia.”
“I’m scared,” I whisper, my voice almost inaudible.
“Of what?”
“I’ve got something to tell you. Something big I’ve been keeping from you. And I’m terrified you’ll lose interest in me after I tell you.”
Colby’s beautiful face morphs into a warm smile. “Nothing could make me lose interest in you.” He touches my ankle. “Join me in the pool. Tell me all about this big, scary secret down here.”
I hold up the damp bathing suit in my hand, indicating I’m not pool-ready at the moment.
“You don’t need a bathing suit to get into the pool with me,” Colby says, and arousal whooshes between my legs. Colby smiles. “Get naked with me, Lydia. Figuratively and literally. Let’s bare our souls and bodies to each other.”
“Colby,” I whisper. I didn’t expect him to cut to the chase like that. My clit is suddenly throbbing.
“I want you, Lydia. I want you more than I’ve ever wanted any woman in my life. There’s no secret you might have that will change that. Have faith in me. Get into the pool.”
I want nothing more than to follow his command, but I can’t move. I’ve never been naked with anyone but Darren. Never been touched. If I do this thing, I’ll never again be able to say that about myself—that I was a virgin when I met my future husband and have only ever belonged to one man. Am I truly ready to change that essential part of my life’s narrative right here and now? Because, if I do this, there’s no going back. I’ll never again belong to just Darren the minute I strip off my clothes. Will I be okay with that after the pleasure is over and I’m lying alone in my bed later tonight?
Colby’s eyes are smoldering. “How about I show you how it’s done?”
I surprise myself by nodding slowly.
A huge smile spreads across Colby’s face. He reaches beneath the water’s surface, pulls down his swim trunks, revealing his hard dick, and plops them at my feet with a soft splat on the concrete.
My eyes train on Colby’s hard-on under the water. It can’t possibly be that big. Water has a magnifying effect, right? I look at Colby’s face again to find him gazing up at me, his blue eyes smoldering.
“Lay yourself bare to me,” he says softly, his cock straining. “Whatever you’re about to tell me won’t scare me off.”
I take a deep breath. And then another one. And then I just nut up and blurt it out. “I have three kids.” I brace myself for the look of shock that’s sure to grace Colby’s face—or maybe the look of hurt or anger that I’ve kept such a huge part of myself hidden from him all this time—but he looks unfazed. And so, I continue. “Theo is eleven. He’s shy and introverted and funny. He wants to be a cartoon animator when he grows up. Or a rock star. He’s currently taking guitar lessons. He’s being bullied at school and I don’t know what the heck to do about it. Isabella—Izzy—she’s seven. She loves to sing and dance and read. She never sits still. She has no filter, God bless her. And she’s a giant beating heart. My baby, Beatrice—Queen Bea—she’s two and a half. She popped out kicking ass and taking names and making you work for it. She loves painting toenails—anybody’s toenails—and making cakes in the sandbox at the park—but only her way.” Oh, God. My heart is racing. I clutch my chest. “I love my kids more than life itself, Colby. They’re my heart beating outside my body.” I choke up. “I’m sure you’re wondering about their father. You’re probably assuming I’m divorced. But I’m not. Darren, their father, died three years ago. He was a police officer killed in the line of duty. Shot in the head while trying to save a woman from her abusive husband and...” I’m breaking down. Finding it hard to breathe. Staggering in place. “I’ve wanted to tell you about all of this so many times, Colby. So many times. To let you in the way you’ve let me in. I’ve wanted to be vulnerable and raw with you the way you’ve been, but I just couldn’t do it. At first, it was because I didn’t want to dump my stuff on you when you were lying in a hospital bed with broken bones and a broken spirit. And then, as time passed, and I felt so close to you, I admit I didn’t tell you because... I was a coward. I didn’t want to risk popping the magic bubble we’d created. And then it started feeling like I’d waited way too long to tell you and that I was being dishonest and then I freaked out and started worrying you’d be pissed or hurt I hadn’t told you. That maybe you’d question the depth or sincerity of my feelings for you. Or maybe even my character. And I didn’t know how to fix that, so I just buried my head in the sand and pretended... I don’t know. Colby. I’m sorry. I have three kids and a husband I loved and I don’t know how to ‘date’ and ‘flirt’ like a normal thirty-two-year-old woman.” I wipe my eyes. My face is hot. I’m breathless. “I’m sorry to drop all this on you.”
There’s a beat. Colby looks nothing but sympathetic. Compassionate. And absolutely smitten.
“Finished?” he says softly.
I nod and wipe my eyes again.
“Well, I’m glad you finally got all that off your chest. But, sweetheart, I already knew about all of it.”
I make a face like, “Whachu talkin’ ’bout, Willis?”
Colby smiles. “I Googled you a month ago, Lydia. I’ve just been waiting for you to feel comfortable enough to finally tell me all that.”
I’m utterly flabbergasted.
“I’m sorry about your husband,” he says. “It pains me to think about what you’ve been through. It physically pains me.”
My eyes drift from Colby’s blazing blue eyes to his hard dick under the water again, ever so briefly. I can’t help myself. He’s truly delectable. “The idea of getting involved with me—a widow with three kids—doesn’t scare you?” I ask, my eyes settling back onto his face.
“Oh, it scares me shitless,” Colby says, making me chuckle. “But how about you let me decide what fears I can and can’t overcome? Despite my current physical condition, I assure you I’m still me—and I’m not a guy who runs away from what scares me. I run toward it.”
I nod. My skin is buzzing. And so is my clit.
“No more secrets,” Colby says evenly, his eyes locked with mine.
I nod again, trembling too much to speak.
“I want you, Lydia.”
I’m twitching with arousal and nerves. “I’ve never been with anyone but my husband,” I confess. “I’d never even kissed anyone but him until I kissed you in the pool earlier.”
Colby’s eyes ignite. There’s no doubt about it—this revelation has turned him on. “There’s nothing to be nervous about. I’m gonna take excellent care of you.”
My eyes drift to his hard-on again.
“I want you, Lydia,” Colby coos. “Do you want me?”
I peel my eyes off his erection and gaze into his eyes. They’re smoldering. Breathtaking. Forget the employment policy. Here today, gone tomorrow. “Yes.”
A smile spreads across Colby’s handsome face. “Then get your clothes off and get into this pool.”