I lie in bed. In Anders' bed. The darkness envelopes us, and I can hear him softly snoring beneath me. It feels like we've come so far in just one night. I have a better understanding of him, of why he is the way he is. He's not perfect, and certainly not the man of my dreams. Maybe on the outside. But on the inside, he's damaged. He's guarded. And he's scared. He acts out through sex and selfishness.
He's still designed to destroy me. I realize this. How can I not after all that's happened? This won't be easy, this new us that he talked to me about over dinner. I'm still not even sure if I want it.
I could always go back to Jeremy. Deep down though, I know I don't want Jeremy. The two of them couldn't be more opposite. Jeremy is kind and sweet and predicable. Anders is brash and selfish and still very much a mystery to me. Even though it's been painful unraveling him, I've also enjoyed it. Every sincere confession is like a gift.
“Good morning, beautiful,” he tells me when we wake the next morning.
I kiss his chest as he yawns, then snuggle in a bit closer to him for warmth. I still can't believe this isn't a dream, that he allowed me to stay the night with him, that we've woken up together in the same bed. I get to see the non-put-together side of Anderson Eddy. The mussed up hair and morning breath and foggy look in his eyes, and I love it. It only makes me want him more.
“Good morning yourself.” I grin stupidly at him.
“You look awfully happy this morning.” He smiles at me. The smile that used to melt my panties is now also warming my heart.
“I am happy,” I confess. “Happy that I'm here with you.”
“I'm happy about that too.” He scoops up my hand in his and kisses my fingers one at a time.
I sigh contently, wishing we could stay like this forever. Nothing lasts forever though, and eventually I have to submit to the fact that he wants to get up. He wiggles out from beneath me, and I blatantly pout.
Playfully, he taps my jutted bottom lip. “What's this all about?”
“You always seem to be in such a rush.”
“Well, we can't just lay in bed all day.”
“Why not?” I cross my arms over my chest.
“Hey now, don't be like that.” He leans down to kiss me.
I capture his bottom lip in my mouth, sucking on it when he tries to pull away. When I look at him, his eyes are hooded with lust. It's all the invitation he needs.
He grabs my arms, pulling them over my head until his hands reach my wrists, and he takes hold of them, pushing them into the pillow.
“You're being very naughty,” he purrs before kissing me again. This time our mouths move together. He puts his body weight on me, and I know I have him for at least a while longer. “I bet you're already wet for me.”
“There's only one way to find out,” I tease.
“There is.” He replies, pleased.
In one fell swoop, he tears the sheets off of us, exposing both of our naked bodies. His gorgeous cock is already standing at attention, partially from want and partially from the miracle that is morning wood. I giggle at him, though it quickly turns into a moan the second that he plunges a finger inside of me.
“Definitely wet for me,” he says before dipping down to take one of my nipples into his mouth, sucking it into a taut peak.
My back arches, and he shoves in another finger, pressing deep while his thumb slides between my folds. I practically cry out when he circles my clit with it, sending my body into a frenzy of sensation.
“You're so fucking wanton. Your body needs my cock.”
“Mm,” is all I can say in response as he works his fingers in and out of me. It feels so good that my thighs are quivering slightly. But I want more. I'm greedy for him.
“I know what I want for breakfast.” He smirks at me before disappearing between my legs. When his tongue touches my pleasure button, I whimper and grab hold of his hair.
“Yes, like that. Just like that,” I praise him when he begins licking me. He's being torturous this morning, drawing out my climax slowly. “Keep going. Suck my clit. Work your tongue around it. Yeah. Just like that.”
I feel like I'm suffocating him, holding him against me and bucking my hips up into his mouth. He likes it though. I know he does. He moans into my heated parts, reveling in the knowledge that he's driving me up the heights of inescapable pleasure.
I crash into orgasm, my toes curling into the sheets, my back lifting off the bed as it arches, and I cry out in ecstasy. It's amazing what the man can do with his mouth.
“Oh my God,” I breathe, trying to get control of myself as the orgasm subsides. I've just woken up, and I already feel exhausted.
“You taste delicious,” he tells me as he emerges from between my legs, licking a sheen of my juices from his lips.
I use my grip on his hair to pull his mouth to mine, kissing him with a passion strong enough to consume us both. I suck on his tongue and bite his bottom lip, not allowing him to disengage from me as he repositions our bodies on the bed, crawling between my legs. Finally, he starts to really try and pull back, but I don't want to let him go.
“Tessa, I need to put a condom on,” he tells me.
“No. No condom,” I protest, shaking my head.
“No condom?”
“I want to feel you. All of you.”
“Are you sure that's okay?” he sounds nervous, his forehead pressed against mine as he speaks.
“You didn't wear one that one time and everything was fine.”
“I didn't?” It's obvious that he genuinely doesn't remember.
“Stick it in me, Anders. I need your cock. I can't wait for it another second,” I beg.
“Fuck, I can't wait either,” he relents finally.
I allow him the space to lean back and grab his shaft. I watch as he guides himself towards my waiting cunt. Then I groan as I feel just the tip press into my entryway.
Even his fucking today is teasing. He rubs his glans across my opening, then spanks my clit with his thick shaft. It feels exquisite, and looks even sexier. I like that I can watch him enter me from this position. It adds another layer of intimacy to our coupling.
“You want my cock badly, don't you?” he teases me.
“Yes.” I nod fervently.
“Tell me how badly you want it.”
“Please, Anders.” I writhe beneath him.
“Tell me how badly you want it, or I won't give it to you.”
“You wouldn't.” I give him a warning look. He's a sex fiend. There's no way he would really leave me hanging.
“Tell me, or it will just be you and your fingers.” He backs away from me, leaving my body void of his touch.
“I will fucking rape you.” I glare up at him, then scoot down on the bed to meet his body.
“You don't have to rape me,” he laughs lightly. “Just tell me how much you want it.”
“Bad enough that I'll take it if you don't give it.” I doubt that I'd actually be able to overpower him, but it's an interesting thought.
“Well then, I guess I better give it.” He smirks. “Get on your hands and knees. I want to take you from behind.”
I think about arguing for a moment, but then acquiesce, just needing him inside of me, regardless of the position. My desire to feel the skin on skin contact of our joined parts trumps everything else. The sooner he's inside of me, the sooner I'll feel satiated.
I crawl onto my hands and knees and grab a fistful of the sheets below, bracing myself for his carnal fucking. I want it fast and hard, and I know he won't disappoint.
He crawls up behind me, and my body shivers as I feel his helmet kissing my pussy lips again. He presses through oh so slowly, then hooks his hands around my hips and bucks forward, filling me to the hilt. I cry out so loudly that all of San Francisco probably hears it, but it just feels that good, the sensation of him spreading me, of him filling me. Nothing has ever felt so good. No man has ever filled me like he does.
“Fuck me,” I demand, and he gets right to work, sliding in and out of me from root to tip repeatedly. I drop down onto my forearms, resting my head against the pillow and moaning shamelessly as he plows me like it's the last time he'll ever have sex.
“Oh God. Oh God,” I cry out as the heat between my legs swells.
I sneak a hand down to touch my clit. It throbs beneath my finger, a second orgasm churning just below the surface. He reaches around my body, grabbing a hold of my breasts and practically picking me up to pull me against him, bucking into me all the while. I'm so tight like this. He's filling me so much that it almost hurts.
“Fuck, you're hot,” he pants as he teases my nipples between his fingertips while he ravages my cunt with his manhood.
“Anders,” I practically scream as another orgasm rips through me. My pussy squeezes around him, and I swear I feel him growing even larger. It's almost too much to bear.
He allows me to fall back down to support myself with my arms as he grips my hips and drives his cock into me with such ferocity that I worry the bed might break. He keeps the pace up for only a few more seconds before I feel him quickly pull out and shoot his full load on my back. I lay there in satisfied wonder, panting and wishing I would have watched him come. There will be plenty of time for that in the future. We have all the time in the world together.
He crawls off the bed and goes to the bathroom to get a towel to clean me off. I simply stay put until he's done, then roll off of the bed to step into his arms and nuzzle my head against his chest.
“That was incredible,” I tell him.
“You're incredible.” He combs his fingers through my hair and kisses me on top of the head. “Are you hungry?”
I sit at the bar in his kitchen as he cooks us bacon and eggs for breakfast. It feels like every second I'm learning something new about him, and that thought keeps a smile plastered on my face. To my surprise, he's not a bad chef either.
“I'm going out of town on business this week,” he mentions halfway through breakfast. “There's this big fitness convention in New York.”
It's nice to know he's comfortable enough to share his life with me now. I just wish I had something half as interesting to tell him.
“Well, you know what I'll be doing,” I reply, half-joking and half not. I never do anything interesting, not counting him. A lecherous grin spreads across my face at the thought.
“I'll miss you while I'm gone. You behave yourself, you hear.” He points his fork at me, sounding like a parent.
“Yes, Sir.” I give him a playful salute, but in the back of my mind, I secretly wonder if he'll be able to behave himself while he's away.
***
Even though Anders said he wants to be exclusive, I can't shake the feeling that he's cheating on me. Part of me is guilty for thinking it, especially after the story he told me about why he got divorced. Still, it's hard to believe that a gorgeous underwear model wouldn't be fucking as many women as he can get his hands on.
It takes everything in me to stave off the paranoia while he's gone. The best thing I can do to keep my mind occupied is to stay busy. I'd love to spend some time talking to Evelyn about Anders. She did wonder why I stayed out all night, but I didn't have the heart to tell her it was with him. She hates Anders. That's pretty clear. So I told her I was with Ryan instead. That was scandalous enough, considering she was convinced I would get back with Jeremy.
“You have all of these men chasing after you. It must be nice,” she says dryly. I can tell she's starting to think I'm a bit of a slut. I'm not a slut, but I definitely feel like a player at this point.
The more I think about Ryan, it wouldn't be the worst idea to hang out with him. I'm avoiding getting together with Jeremy out of guilt. I know I should man up (or woman up, in my case), and just admit to him that I'm seeing someone else, but the fact that I don't feel completely confident about my relationship with Anders keeps me from saying something that will bomb my chances with Jeremy. So I keep him waiting. I tell myself it's a small retribution for him breaking up with me.
I'm not in as deep with Ryan. While I know he likes me, I also know that it won't shatter him if I disclose the truth about Anders and I. Besides, The Billionaires Club is one thing we both have in common, and I really would like to talk to him about Anders.
I call him up on Saturday night, feeling a bit guilty knowing that I'm going to sucker him into a night of listening to me gush over his boss. That can't possibly make him comfortable, but I'm sure that's not all we'll talk about.
We meet up at a local bar, and he's absolutely glowing with excitement to see me. I can't help but smile at his boyish charm as he tells me how beautiful I look. We find a quiet booth and settle in together with some beers.
“How has work been?” I ask, genuinely interested.
“It's work.” He rolls his eyes.
“You act like you hate working there.” I take a long sip of beer and savor the feel of the carbonation on my tongue.
“It has its perks.” The implication of his words make me sick to my stomach. I've heard those words before. I know exactly what they mean. He's been inducted into the penis buffet. It saddens me a bit, but I try my best not to care. It shouldn't matter. We're not dating. “How's your job?”
“Boring as ever,” I sigh, chugging my beer as if I need the alcohol to drown out my feelings from hearing about his new job perks.
“Yeah. Your job looks boring.”
“I'm glad I'm not planning to make a career out of it,” I let out a short uncomfortable laugh.
“So, how are other things? It's been a while since we've gotten together.”
“It has been.” I nod. “Life has been kind of strange. Anders and I are back in contact.” I avoid his gaze when I say it, worried about what he might think, though I don't know why.
“Back in contact? What does that mean?” he huffs. He knows exactly what it means. “I'm surprised he has time for anyone with as much work as he does at The Billionaires Club.”
My body tenses instantly. “Anders still works at The Billionaires Club?” I try not to make it sound like the answer would bother me.
“Yeah.” He downs the rest of his beer. “He's there right now, putting in another late night,” he draws out the last two words for effect.
Another late night. I'm so angry that I'm practically shaking. That son of a bitch lied to me. He's not out of town on a business trip. He's at The Billionaires Club. Everything he said to me was a lie. It was all lies.