It's Thursday at 7PM, and I'm standing outside of Anders' loft with the card in my hand. He wasn't here when I got here, so I can only assume he's out somewhere with the bitch. If I'm lucky, he'll bring her back here, and I'll catch him red-handed.
It feels a bit dirty waiting to blackmail him like this, but there's no way he would tell me the truth if I asked him about the card. I'm sure of that. He's been hiding this from me. Hiding the other woman from me. It makes me wonder how many women he has.
After finding the card, my heart went numb. Evelyn was right. Guys like him never change. I'll never be enough for him. Why I can't seem to accept that, I don't know, but it's so beyond obvious at this point.
He's fucked with my mind and emotions so much that I barely have it in me to hurt anymore. My heart broke the night that I found the card, but it went on the mend just as quickly, adapting to the emotional battery of Anderson Eddy.
I flatten out his jacket on the ground and sit on it while I wait for him. The asshole can afford to have it laundered and pressed. I have half a mind to rip it to shreds. It feels like the only retribution I'll get against him. I'd rather slap him though, and I plan to. If he brings the bimbo around the corner, I'll do it right in front of her and save us both from him. If he doesn't bring her though . . .
Sitting there waiting for him gives me plenty of time to think. I imagine he has different levels of fuck buddies. It took him a while to show me his place. Maybe he hasn't got there with her yet. If he comes home empty-handed, I might seem a bit crazy sitting here waiting for him. But I know what the card means.
I bust out my cell phone and open my ereader. People give me queer looks as they walk past me in the hall, and at one point, security comes to check on me.
“Can I help you, miss?” A tall bulky man in a blue security uniform asks.
I pull myself to my feet, feeling a bit embarrassed. Someone must have reported me. “I locked myself out,” I try to explain.
He doesn't look convinced. “You don't live here.”
“I just moved in,” I lie again.
“You just moved in?” He's obviously not buying it.
“Yes.” I nod, trying to seem confident.
“Mister Eddy hasn't registered anyone else under his lease here.” There's a small smirk threatening to appear at the side of the man's lips. I can tell he thinks I'm a lunatic. That thought infuriates me more. Maybe I'm not the first woman who has done this. How else would he know that no one else lives with Anders?
“Maybe he hasn't gotten around to it yet.” I cross my arms over my chest defensively.
“Ma'am, I'm going to have to ask you to leave. You can't just sit here in the hall and wait for him to return.”
Briefly, I consider telling him that I'm going to call Anders, and that he'll be sorry when he returns. It's all bullshit though. The guy knows I have no business being there. I know I have no business being there. Humiliated, I decide to take my leave.
As luck would have it, I run into Anders as soon as the elevator door opens. He's alone, and he looks happy to see me as always.
“Tessa. What are you doing here?” he asks as he steps out of the elevator.
“Surprised to see me?” I emphasize the words, making it clear by my tone that this isn't a pleasant visit.
“Yes,” he hesitates, walking with me towards the door to his loft.
I give the security guard a harsh look as we pass by him. Asshole.
“How was work today?” my tone switches to casual. I need to entrap him, to prove that he's lying to me again.
“It was work.” He opens the door for me.
“Did you do anything interesting after work today?”
“Is this going somewhere?” he sighs, catching on to my game. I watch him brush past me and head to the kitchen for a glass of water. I slide up beside him and toss the card next to his glass. He looks at it for half a second before rolling his eyes. “Is that what this is about?” He picks up the glass and walks past me, heading to the living room. His dismissive actions only infuriate me more.
“Are you fucking serious?” I pick up the card and follow him, practically stomping my heels into the carpet as I walk. How can he act so casual about this. My hands. Your body. That would make any woman freak out, to expect the worst.
“It's a massage parlor.” He sits down and stares up at me with an air of amusement on his face.
“Bullshit.” I throw the card at him before sitting as far away from him as possible. It's more lies. Always lies with him.
He shakes his head at me. “Have you always been this insecure?”
“It's not a fucking business card, Anders. The goddamn message is handwritten,” my anger flares to an almost unmanageable level. He's so good at lying that he's not even breaking a sweat.
“Here. Don't speak. Just listen.” He sets his water down on the coffee table before extracting his cell phone from his pocket.
I watch as he taps the screen and scrolls through a list of numbers. He hits the speaker button and points the phone at me, as if me being able to see the screen will make me trust him more.
“My Hands. Your Body. This is Lynn speaking. How may I help you?” a woman's voice answers. My face immediately flushes with embarrassment.
“Hey, Lynn,” Anders says casually. “It's Anders.”
“Hello, Mister Eddy,” her tone perks up at the sound of his name.
“I'd like to bring my lady friend in there with me for a massage next Thursday. Do you have someone who can work on her at the same time, maybe set up beds for us side by side?”
Lady friend? Is that what I am to him. I want to be happy that he wasn't lying to me, but being called his lady friend doesn't exactly improve my mood. What is that anyway? Some dodgy way to avoid calling me his girlfriend.
“I think that can be arranged, Mister Eddy.” I can almost hear a hint of disappointment in her voice at the mention that he wants to bring a woman with him.
“Excellent.”
“Will you want to stay with the same time, and can I get her name, so I can put her down in the book?”
“Yes. It will be at the same time, and her name is Tessa Murphy.” He stares directly at me when he says my name, trawling my face for some sign of guilt.
“Alright, sir. I have you and Miss Murphy down for seven o'clock on Thursday.”
“Perfect. Thanks, Lynn.” He hangs up the phone and shoves it back in his pocket before looking at me with a sarcastic smile. “Anything else to appease the insecure one?”
“Don't be a dick, Anders. You know perfectly well why I don't trust you,” I grumble. It seems like he expects me not to be satisfied, and that only makes me feel worse. I want to bring up the lady friend thing, but I do feel bad that I got mad at him over nothing. He scheduled me to go in with him to get a massage on top of everything. Bitching at him for calling me his lady friend just doesn't seem fair.
“I think I'm just going to go.” I stand, wanting to get away from him, too prideful to admit I was wrong.
“You just got here.” He swirls the water in his glass like it's bourbon before taking a drink.
“And now I want to leave.”
“Do I at least get an apology?” He gazes up at me expectantly.
I shift my weight and scowl. “I'm sorry.”
“Sorry for?”
“Ugh. Are you really going to do this to me?” My body tenses. He's being a complete jackass now.
He sets the water down on the table and stands up, putting his hands on my shoulders and rubbing them gently. “I just like to see you squirm.”
“I know you do.” I avoid his gaze, too embarrassed with myself to look at him.
“You know what happens now, right?” his voice takes a sensual dip, and he moves a step closer. The mood in the room shifts in an instant, and I feel weak. There's something about him being so close to me that changes the way my body and brain respond to him. It's like he gives off some sexual pheromone that flips a switch inside of me.
“What happens now?” I ask timidly.
“You make this up to me with your body.”
***
It seems almost unnatural to see his name flash across my caller ID. Ryan. I figured that once we both established the fact that we were fucking other people, he'd never want to talk to me again. But that doesn't appear to be the case. He genuinely seems interested in maintaining a friendship with me, and so I take him up on the offer to go out for coffee one morning that we both have off.
He's all smiles and charm and manners. Opening the door for me. Buying my coffee. I'm glad he hasn't disappeared from my life like Jeremy has. Jeremy hasn't even sent me one text message since the ordeal with Anders. It reminds me of Anders' story about not chasing his ex-wife. If Jeremy truly wanted to be with me, he would have done something to prove it.
Oh well, I suppose it doesn't matter now. I've made my choice. I've whittled three love interests down to one. It's Anders all the way.
“How's work?” Ryan asks me as we sit down at a table with our coffees.
“It's horrible.” No point in sugar coating it. I think everyone on the face of the planet knows I hate my job at this point. Everyone except my boss.
“I don't know why I would expect it to get better,” he laughs. I love the way he seems to always be genuine with his thoughts and feelings. I never have to guess if he's just pretending to enjoy my company.
“And what about yours? How is it being a part of the penis buffet?”
“The penis buffet.” He grins and rolls his eyes. “God, you make me sound like a whore.”
“You kind of are now,” I tease.
“It's not like I bang every woman who walks into the place. Besides, it would be easy for me to quit for someone special.” He stirs his coffee absentmindedly, avoiding my eyes.
I can't help but feel some warmth from his words. Maybe I'm reading too far into it, but it seems like he's talking about me. Perhaps he is still interested in more than being friends after all. But he knows that I'm with Anders.
As if on queue with my thoughts, he asks, “So how are things with the boss man?”
“The boss man,” I nearly choke on my coffee. It's weird to think of Anders as anyone's employer, though I know he has more than a few employees of his own. “Things are good.” I nod.
“Just good?” He quirks an eyebrow.
“We have our ups and downs,” I admit.
“Like what?” He takes a long sip of coffee.
“Do you really want to hear this?” It seems like a strange conversation to have with someone who just acted like he was still interested in me.
“I do,” he insists. If he's feigning interest, I can't really tell.
“Well, I kind of embarrassed myself the other day.”
“How did you manage that?”
“I found a card in Anders' pocket. I thought he was seeing some other woman. It ended up being his masseuse.” I cringe at the admittance.
“That's nothing to be embarrassed about.” He looks over my head when he speaks, his tone a bit stiff. “It's hard to trust guys like him. I mean, think of where you met him at.”
“Yeah.” I pour an extra pack of sugar in my coffee, letting his words sink in. If I really think about Anders' past, it's only natural to not trust him when it comes to other women.
“So, he was just getting a massage, not actually cheating on you with the masseuse?”
“He wasn't cheating on me. At least, I don't think he was. He called up the massage place to prove it to me, and we went and got a massage there together this past Thursday. I didn't get the sense that anything fishy was going on.”
“That's good.” Even though he says it, it doesn't sound like he means it. He seems a bit tense talking about Anders.
I decide to change the subject.“So, what about you? Any new love interests in your life?”
“No. I don't really have a love life. A sex life, yes. A love life, no.” He shakes his head.
“You'll meet someone eventually.”
“Everyone does.” The words sound tired. “So, is there anything else going on with you and Anders?”
“You seem awfully interested in my relationship.” I give him a suspicious look. He catches it instantly.
“I'm just trying to be a good friend. Besides, I remember you telling me that you couldn't talk about him with your best friend, since she hates Anders. I figured I could act as a neutral party. Besides, we really don't have much else in common. He's a pretty good subject.”
“I suppose he is.” I grin. “I just don't want to bore you with the details of my relationship.”
“You're not boring me at all. I actually find it rather fascinating.” His eyes light up playfully. “I'm learning how rich guys woo women.”
“Is that why you want to know?” I burst out laughing. “Well, I'm afraid that Anders isn't the best at wooing women. He makes more than his share of mistakes.”
“Like what?”
“Like.” I look up to the ceiling, recalling the memory of my discontent when he referred to me as his lady friend. “When he made an appointment for me with the massage therapist, instead of calling me his girlfriend, he called me his lady friend.” I cast a sarcastic look out into the distance. Seriously, what guy does something like that?
“Lady friend?” he chortles. “Wow. That is pretty lame.”
“He does a lot of lame things. But that was the cake taker as of late.”
“I can see why that would upset you.” He takes a long drink of coffee.
“It did upset me,” I admit, feeling a bit selfish for it. “We've been seeing each other for a while. And he's gone to great lengths to keep me with him. You would think I would have at least earned the mantel of girlfriend at this point.”
“You would think,” the amusement completely leaves his voice. It's strange how hot and cold he's being. Maybe he's not as transparent as I originally thought.
“Are you alright?” I give him a concerned look.
“I'm fine.” He avoids my eyes, his expression a bit sad. “I wish we could hang out longer, but I have to go in at noon today. I just thought we should catch up a bit. I like hanging out with you.” He offers me a weak smile.
“I like hanging out with you too.” I bite my bottom lip, wondering what he's really thinking.