FOUR YEARS LATER
The sun shone brightly through the window, and I yawned and stretched, looking at the empty side of Lawrence's bed. What we had together wasn't a conventional relationship, but it worked for us. We were both afraid of being committed for the same reason, that it would change life as we knew it. Still, it was hard to deny that what we had was pretty much a relationship. Most of the time, when we had days off from work, we'd spend them with each other. We'd go out on dates, sleep together, and we both had keys to each other's place. To keep things less relationship-like though, we refused to introduce each other to family, and we didn't use labels. He wasn't my boyfriend or my lover, he was just my friend—my friend with benefits.
Alice was content with our relationship. She jokingly threatened to cut Lawrence's balls off if he tried to take me from her, but we both knew that if I did end up in a committed relationship with him, it wouldn't be the worst thing. Even she couldn't deny that he was practically perfect in every way. Handsome, kind, generous, fun, outgoing. What woman wouldn't want to wed Lawrence Quinones?
He bought me gifts, wined and dined me, took me out on vacations, and paid for everything. When Alice lost her job at the lingerie store, he even chipped in some money to help with bills until she got back up on her feet. Not that we needed the money. I was doing well enough on my own to support both of us by then, but he insisted that he didn't want us to want for anything, and we didn't. Both of our lives were better with him in it.
I hugged his pillow, smelling the scent of cologne and sweat that lingered on it. It had been another night of earth shattering sex. Sex with Lawrence was always good. He made sure of it. If he thought that he was too tired or not in the right frame of mind, which wasn't often, we just wouldn't do it. He told me that he always wanted me to have the best of him, and that made my heart flutter.
There were definitely romantic feelings there. I loved Lawrence. How could I not love him after spending four years of my life with him. In fact, I was pretty sure that I was in love with him, but I was afraid to face those feelings. Every time they became too strong, I tried to squash them down, reminding myself that we'd never have what regular people did. While I was starting to come around to the idea of having a normal relationship, he was still recovering from his marriage. The things his ex-wife put him through made him afraid to commit, and I could understand why. From what he had told me, she had been a horrible woman, verbally and physically abusive, cheating on him, and then leaving him high and dry when the divorce was finally settled. He said that ring had changed everything with them. 'The one ring to rule his balls' he not so affectionately called it. The first time he told me that, I laughed so hard that water came out my nose. He didn't think it was so funny though.
Oh well, it was what it was. Things were great with Lawrence, so I had no real reason to complain. Maybe someday he would change, like I had, and if not, then I just hoped that my yearning for more didn't eventually get stronger. I doubted it would ever grow strong enough for me to leave him, but you never know. Life is funny that way. One day, you want something, and when you get it, it seems perfect. Fast forward a few weeks/months/years, and that perfect thing no longer fits your lifestyle.
The day went on like any other. I had it off, so I spent the first half cleaning Lawrence's townhouse before I returned home to lounge around until he got off work. Cleaning his place was the least I could do since he had promised to take me out to an expensive dinner that night. Oftentimes, when I stayed over at Lawrence's house and had the next day off, I would clean. He worked long hours and didn't get much time off, so I thought it would help him out a little. Plus, it was an extra way of telling him I loved him, even though we verbally expressed it regularly enough.
“Big date tonight?” Alice grinned at me as she watched me walk out of my bedroom.
“No bigger than any other night,” I replied, sitting down on the sofa beside her and adjusting the sterling silver moon and heart necklace that Lawrence had bought me for Valentine's Day the previous year.
“If you say so.” She turned her attention back to the television, though the grin never left her face.
“What are you smiling about?” I eyed her suspiciously.
“Just something I saw on television.”
Not likely. She was watching a documentary on dolphins being captured in fishing nets, so I doubted there was anything grin-worthy about it. Before I had a chance to probe further, my phone rang. I quickly grabbed it from the coffee table to look at the number, half expecting it would be Lawrence calling to cancel on me. It happened sometimes, when the hospital required him to work later than normal. It wasn't his name that flashed across my caller ID though, but the name of an uncle I hadn't spoken to in a while. Not thinking anything of it, I answered, sounding as chipper as I possibly could. The voice on the end of the line was distraught, though I could tell he was trying his best to be calm.
“Tara, I have horrible news,” my uncle said, sending chains of tightness around my heart to constrict it in fear of the worst. “Your parents were in a head-on collision with a drunk driver last night. They died on impact.”