“He said the L word,” I tell Ryan over coffee.
“Lesbians?” he jokes. Why can't anyone take it seriously when I tell them that Anders confessed his love to me? It's a bit annoying, even though I know he's trying to be cute.
“Love,” I put emphasis on the word. “He told me he loves me. Not once, but twice. The first time, I thought it might have been a fluke. But now I know he meant it.”
“And how do you feel about him?” He shifts uncomfortably, and I can't help but get the feeling that he doesn't like the subject.
“I don't know,” I admit with a sigh, slumping down on my elbows. The table rattles in protest. “I mean, I care about him. I like him a lot. He's handsome and smart and great in bed.” That last bit seems to sting Ryan a bit, but I continue anyway, “It's just that he likes to keep secrets.”
“Like the ex-wife.” Ryan rolls his eyes.
“That, and I just found out he has kids.” I practically wince away from the statement. It makes me sound so stupid. What girl goes out with a guy for so long without knowing he has a kid? It makes it seem like I'm completely oblivious to his life outside of our dates.
“Kids? I thought he only had one.” He stirs his coffee, looking increasingly discontent by the minute.
“He does only have one. Wait, you knew!” I gasp, staring at him. “You knew, and you didn't tell me.”
“You're the one who is dating him. I figured you knew all of that already.” He plays innocent, and it works. Of course, I couldn't have expected him to know that Anders had kept his son a secret from me.
I wipe away the accusing look from my face. “Who withholds that kind of information for so long?”
“Guys like him,” he replied absentmindedly.
“What's that supposed to mean?” I quirk a brow at him.
“Nothing.” He shakes his head.
“No. Tell me. You're making it sound like you know something.” I eye him suspiciously.
“I just know that he's not the kind of guy you should date,” his words are sharp.
“What makes you say that?”
“None of the billionaires are worth dating. Trust me.” He pierces through me with his gaze.
A sickening feeling wells up in the pit of my stomach. “Do you know something you're not telling me?”
“I just know Anders is going to eventually destroy you. You're too sweet, and he's too rich for his own good.”
“You're not making any sense.” I'm completely confused now. What is he talking about? Anders is too rich. What does his money have to do with anything?
“Listen, Tessa.” He leans forward as if he's getting ready to tell me a secret. “I'm saying this as a friend. You should get away from him before you get anymore invested.”
“Why? Is he cheating on me?” My mind instantly goes into panic mode. Ryan wouldn't be acting like this if that wasn't the case. He knows something. He's just not telling me.
“No. That's not it. At least, I don't think that's it. He hasn't had any other clients at The Billionaires Club since you. I would tell you if he did. I promise.”
Relief rushes through me. “You swear?” I give him a hopeful look.
“I swear.” He nods.
“Then I don't understand what you're freaking out about.” I lean back, feeling my heart beat slow down.
“I just know that guys like him don't change. They're always bad news. I've gotten to know all the billionaires since I started working at The Billionaires Club, and so far, only one of them has been a decent guy.”
“And that guy is Anders,” I say hesitantly.
“No. That guy is a lawyer.”
The fucking lawyer. I almost want to laugh. I should have gotten him instead. I wouldn't be going through this if Anders had just lost that stupid rock, paper, scissors game.
“I just don't understand why you're harping on him. You won't tell me what he's done, so how am I supposed to believe you.” I want to throw my hands up. This conversation is getting us nowhere.
“Let's just say that I can't tell you because of a confidentiality agreement, but he's done some shady stuff.”
I'm fed up with this. If he's not going to tell me, then I'll just go to the source. “You know what, forget it. I'll just ask Anders directly.”
“No!” He nearly jumps out of his seat, his eyes going wide with fear. “If he knows I've told you any of this, he'll fire me. Please don't.”
I deflate with guilt, realizing that my words sounded like a threat. It's easy to forget that Ryan's job is on the line just from association with me. If Anders even knew I was going out with him, he'd probably be furious.
“I won't.” I give him an earnest look. “I'm sorry. I didn't mean to—”
“No. It's fine. I'm the one who said too much. I should have kept my mouth shut, but I really like you, and I don't want to see you get hurt.” He shakes his head.
I reach across the table and put my hand on top of his. “That's sweet, and I really appreciate it. I just don't know if I should be worried now or not. You say he's done some shady things, but you said he hasn't been cheating on me, so I don't really know what to think.”
“Don't think anything of it. Like I said, I shouldn't have said anything.” He inhales sharply. “I'm just over-reacting. Anders is a good guy. I just know about his past and think you deserve better. That's all.”
“He's really good to me, you know?”
“I know. And he cares about you a lot. Maybe even too much.”
Too much. Those words haunt me for the rest of the day, as does the entire conversation. How can Anders possibly care bout me too much when he doesn't even seem to want to know anything about me?
***
Evelyn is beginning to accept the fact that Anders is going to keep coming around, but she hasn't stopped glaring at him. I can't help but wonder if she'll ever be friendly towards him. Martin is a lot more forgiving. Then again, Martin doesn't care about much of anything that doesn't concern him.
I've taken a few days break from Anders. I needed that time to gather my thoughts, to analyze everything Ryan said and think about what else Anders might be hiding from me. My trust in him is more shaky than ever. In fact, just being around him carries a nervousness that it never did before.
As soon as we get into my bedroom, he's on me. I feel like a doll, standing there and staring at him, my mind going into a million different directions as he undresses us both. His mouth meets mine, kissing me heatedly. I moan into him as he pulls our naked bodies together. Already, I can feel the heat of his arousal pressing against my hip. He's always so wanton.
“I've missed your body,” he purrs into my ear before tangling his fingers in my hair and pulling my head back so he can kiss my neck. I groan in approval, wrapping my arms around him to draw him to me. My fingernails glide through his hair, and I feel the sensual connection that's always there when we're together like this.
“Is that all you've missed?” I tease.
“Of course not. But it's what I need right now.” He lifts me in his strong arms and carries me over to the bed, laying me down on my back before he disappears between my legs. I know what's coming next. I need what's coming next.
My hips buck as his tongue swirls around my sensitive clit. My God, how I've missed this. Sometimes, I feel like I can't live without it.
“Oh yes. Lick my pussy. Just like that. It's so good.” I writhe on the bed beneath him, flexing my fingers in his hair as if I'd like to drown him in my wetness. He knows what he's doing though, and I don't press him deeper.
“I was born to eat your pussy,” he mumbles into me. It's so good that my legs are trembling. His hands are holding onto my thighs, pushing them back so he has access to everything. His tongue dips deep into me, and then he licks all the way up to my clit. I bite my bottom lip as the first orgasm hits me.
“Yes, you were,” I absentmindedly agree, relaxing my grip on his hair and feeling the soft strands between my fingers.
He comes up for air and wastes no time sliding himself against me, though he doesn't go inside. I feel the thickness of his cock head tease around my sensitive core, sending tiny aftershocks through me. Then he spanks my clit with his shaft. Everything he does feels like heaven.
“You should put on a condom,” I tell him, deciding it's about time we break our no-condom streak. I still haven't gotten on birth control, which has been complete laziness on my part. If I'm not going to be getting on it anytime soon, then we should probably air on the side of caution.
“You can't wait to get my dick inside of you.” He smirks at me before reaching for his jacket. Silently, I watch while he extracts a foil packet from his pocket, then tears it open and rolls the condom down his length. Within moments, he's ready for me, and I'm more than ready for him.
“Put it inside of me,” I demand, propping myself up on my elbows to watch as he guides his member to my wanton body.
He doesn't waste any time, bucking forward to fill me and then immediately starting to thrust. I hold my legs open for him and lean back on the bed, gripping the sheets behind me as I watch his body move on top of mine. It feels so good.
“You can't get enough of it, can you.” He grins down at me.
“Never.” It's true. When we're together like this, everything else disappears. All of my problems. All of my worries. All I care about is feeling pleasure. And all he cares about is giving it. It's a perfect symbiotic relationship.
I try to temper my voice, knowing that Evelyn and Martin can hear us. That was already established a while ago. Now Evelyn goes around teasing Martin about why he doesn't make her sound like me. It's a bit embarrassing, but I can't help what Anders does to me, and the walls are paper thin.
“Yes. You're so good,” I cry out, practically drooling on myself from ecstasy.
“I know.”
His smug admittance makes me want to reach up and slug him, but I don't. I'll let him get away with being arrogant for once. It's not like it's a lie.
He wraps his hands around my waist and bounces me against him. It's so deep that I feel slight tremors of pain with each thrust, but I love it, knowing he's filling me completely.
“Your body always feels so good around me,” he groans.
“Your cock is so big. It's too much.” I wince slightly as he spears into my depths. He spreads my legs wide to get as far into me as possible. The friction of his thrusting sends me spiraling over the edge again, and I shudder as my body constricts around him.
“Fuck yeah. Come for me, love. Just like that. Just like that.” He picks up speed, pounding into me until I worry that I'll break. His breath is ragged, his expression determined. I want him to kiss me, but I know that will throw him off his game. It's his turn to come now.
“Don't stop,” I beg, knowing that he's almost there. I've seen him like this enough times to anticipate when the end is near. It's so good I almost don't want him to stop, but I also can't expect him to keep up the pace forever.
He presses his fists into the bed at my sides to leverage himself for the uptick. I grip the sheets behind me, bracing myself. It's so intense. So mercilessly intense.
“Oh God,” I practically scream as an unexpected third orgasm rips through me. He matches my body, pushing deep within in me to release his own pleasure.
We lay in bed together afterward with my head on his chest. I know that our cuddling will be brief. He rarely hangs around Evelyn's place for more than a few minutes after we fuck.
Now that the fun is over, the strange suspicion sets in, though I'm not sure what I'm suspicious of.
“You don't have anymore secrets, do you?” I ask, trying not to make it seem like a serious question.
“No more secrets.”
“I'd really like our relationship to be transparent at this point,” my voice is firm. He needs to know that anything else could be an endgame for us.
“What you see is what you get, Tessa.” He laces our fingers together and then brings our hands up to his lips to kiss the back of mine.
It's meant to sound sweet, but it just confuses me more. All I see when I look at him is a beautiful bastard capable of causing me so much pain.