As the days progress, Mary finally starts allowing me to handle some of the workload at Hudson Paragon Solutions. It helps to pass the time at work and makes things less boring. It also gives me the confidence I need to know that I can pick up the slack when she retires.
Croix texts me throughout the day, and I respond whenever I can. He's already sent flowers to the office twice. It's like he's working on overtime to make up for all of the douchey things he's done. Every day seems to bring us closer together.
We sit on the sofa in his living room watching the news absentmindedly. I'm about to fall into a food coma from the amazing beef wellington that Margot prepared. We paired it with a heavy red, so I feel all warm and fuzzy. Croix's shoulder makes a comfortable pillow as I lean against him, inhaling the intoxicating scent of his cologne. It's only a matter of time before we take things to the bedroom. All I need is about thirty minutes for the food to digest, and I'll be ready to go. Even now, it's hard for me to keep my mitts off of him.
I rest my hand on his inner thigh, rubbing back and forth. Each pass brings my fingers closer to his crotch. I stare at it, watching the bulge slowly form from the light stimulation.
Croix slides his arm around my shoulder, pulling me closer before turning to kiss me on the temple. When he catches sight of my contented expression, he smiles.
“You look awfully happy,” he notes.
“I am.” I inhale deeply before blowing out the breath.
“Any particular reason?” He crosses his foot over his knee.
“I was just thinking about how things are going better than I imagined they could now that I'm not working at The Billionaires Club anymore.”
“Is that so?” He raises an eyebrow.
I nod. “Yeah.”
“Was working with me so horrible?” he teases.
I chortle. “It's not that. I just honestly wasn't sure how things would go between us when you didn't have easy access to me anymore.”
“From where I'm sitting, I still have easy access to you.” He slips his index finger between two of the buttons on my blouse.
I playfully slap at his hand. “That's not what I meant.”
“What did you mean, then?”
“I guess I meant that I thought you'd lose interest or fade away,” my voice tapers off as I realize how insecure I sound.
His eyes lock with mine. “I could never lose interest in you.”
“Never say never.” I waggle my finger at him.
“Raven, I'm serious. I'm absolutely crazy about you.” He gently grabs my finger.
“Good.” I beam. “Because I'm crazy about you too.”
***
No matter how perfect everything seems, something always has to come along and fuck it up. When I saw Roscoe at the restaurant, I was sure my harsh words had been enough to chase him back to California. Apparently not. If they had been, he wouldn't be standing on my doorstep again. I'm pretty sure that even Cindy is getting annoyed with him, at this point, because she didn't seem particularly happy when she delivered the news that he had come to see me again. I wish she would have told him to leave.
“What do you want?” I cross my arms over my chest defensively.
“I'd hoped you'd had a chance to cool down.” He can't even meet my gaze.
“I was cool when we spoke last time,” I inform him, even though I can feel myself seething beneath the surface. Why won't he just give up?
He takes a deep breath. “Raven, I really need you to forgive me.”
“Are you here to make things right, then?” I shift my weight.
He holds his hands out to his sides. “What do you think I've been trying to do all of this time?”
I glance down at his right hand. “I see no checkbook.”
His shoulders slump. “Are you really going to be this petty?”
I quirk my head back and hiss. “Petty? Oh, you should choose your words way more carefully. You're one sentence away from a restraining order.”
If a sarcastic look could slap someone, I'd be getting the backhand right now. “I'm here because I love you, not because I'm trying to harass you.”
“Love is such a strong word.” I furrow my brow. “You see, love is something you had with Sheri. You're not capable of loving anyone else, except for maybe your kids.”
“Now you're just being cruel.”
“You haven't seen cruel.” My jaw clenches, though there's no real threat to what I'm saying.
“This shouldn't be about money.” His blue eyes darken with agitation.
“You're right.” I turn my head to the floor for a moment. “It shouldn't be. But it is. You made it that way when you fucked me over.”
Roscoe rakes his fingers over his scalp. He began balding prematurely in his early twenties and shaved his head. I can barely remember what he looks like with hair.
“You know that I didn't just do it because of Sheri.” His admission causes a pang of pain in my heart.
“I know. You did it because you were bitter about how differently we were brought up. But that wasn't my fault either. You shouldn't have taken that out on me.”
“I thought I was owed that money.” He looks away. “Maybe not all of it, but most. They always favored you.”
“That's bullshit.” I huff. “They didn't favor me. They just had more money when I was growing up. They wanted to give me the life that they couldn't give you.”
“No. They favored you,” he insists. “No matter what I did, it was never enough.”
I roll my eyes. “Oh please. You're the one who put a wedge between you and our parents by getting with Sheri. You practically abandoned the family when the two of you became a couple.”
“Maybe I did, but it was pretty easy to do when I watched them give you everything, and I had to work for every single thing I've ever had.”
“You can't blame that on me.” I point to myself. “I'm not the one who wronged you.”
“Maybe you weren't. I don't want to think about it anymore.” He glances back towards his rental car.
“You got what you wanted.” I wrap my hand around the door frame, tilting back inside the house. “You re-payed years of bitterness toward our parents by passing it on to me.”
“I never meant to pass that pain on to you.”
“Yes, you did.” I can't even believe the lies coming from his mouth. “If you hadn't meant to, then you wouldn't have done it. Nothing you say can convince me otherwise.”
“I'm human, Raven. I made a mistake. A horrible mistake that I can't take back.” His eyes well up with tears. It's unexpected, but it doesn't touch me in the least.
“You're right. You can't take it back. Maybe you are genuinely trying to fix things, but it's too late. Go back to California.” I gesture toward the direction of California.
“There's nothing for me in California.” His bottom lip trembles.
“There's nothing for you here either. Go to Texas and fight for your boys.” I feel the slightest shred of sympathy for him, but I refuse to cave. “They're the only family you have left now.”
***
“I need to talk to you about something.”
No good conversation ever started with those words, especially when paired with the expression that Croix is giving me right now. The fact that he takes my hand and walks me to the sofa only makes my anxiety increase. Whatever he's about to say, I'm probably not going to like it.
“What bomb are you going to drop on me now?” It sounds overly dramatic, but after what I went through with my brother yesterday, I'm only expecting the worst.
“It's really not that bad.” Croix scrunches up his face.
“If it wasn't that bad, you wouldn't look like you're about to tell me that you killed a baby.” I roll my eyes at him.
“Is that really how I look?” He quirks his head back with a grin.
“You look pretty guilty.” I exhale, just wanting him to get on with it.
He scratches his cheek as he searches for words. “You know that Kenzi is my best friend, right?”
Just the mention of her name sends dread screeching through me. My heart tightens in my chest as I wait for...I don't know what.
“Yeah,” I reply hesitantly.
“Well, she wants to come to the opening of The Billionaires Club too, and I told her that she could.”
Every muscle in my body slumps. Doesn't he know how awkward that's going to be for the both of us? Of course, he does. Why would he agree to something so idiotic?
“Does she know I'm going to be there?” comes the obvious question.
“Of course, she does.”
“It's fine.” I shake my head, trying to get over my insecurities.
“It is?” He doesn't sound convinced.
“You two never dated. She's just a friend to you...and the mother of your child. I see no problem with it.” I try to rationalize everything.
“I'm glad you're being mature about this, Raven.” He straightens himself.
“There's no reason not to be.” I shrug.
“If you don't want to go now, I'll understand.” He tilts his head slightly to catch my gaze.
“Do you not want me to go?”
The conversation takes an awkward turn. A moment ago, it seemed like he was trying to convince me that it will be okay if we both show up. Now, he's making it sound like he doesn't want me there.
“Of course, I want you to go. I just don't want it to be stressful for you.” He readjusts himself on the sofa so that he's turned more towards me.
“This will certainly make it less pleasant,” I admit. “Is Beverly going to be there?”
“No. The Billionaires Club is no place for children.”
I thought not, but I figured I'd ask anyway.
“Well, I see no reason not to go.”
“Good. I'm glad you're okay with this.” He seems to relax. “I really would like for you to be there.”
“And I'd like to be there to support you.” I offer him a smile, though it's mostly forced. On the inside, all I can think about is how I'm going to get through an evening with a woman who I know has been intimate with Croix and will likely be clinging to his side.