CHAPTER TWELVE
While I know that I'm supposed to show up at Fleshfest alone, I can't resist telling Janice about it. This is definitely her thing, and of course, as soon as I mention the event, she immediately calls off from work so that she can go with me. Part of me is glad. I feel so weak when I'm alone with Lucian. She can be my cock-blocking shield if he tries to push me into anything that makes me uncomfortable.
“We've got to get sexy costumes,” Janice says as we sit in front of the computer together and read about the festival on Flesh's website.
I wrinkle my nose at the idea. Originally, I had planned to arrive in something comfortable, jeans and a T-shirt. The less easy access I am, the less Lucian will be tempted to want to do stuff with me at the festival. I really don't want to end up in the dungeon with him.
“How about let's not.” I tilt my head to the side, giving her a serious look.
“Oh, come on, Amy. You want to fit in, don't you? Everyone is going to be dressed up.”
Including Lucian. I wonder what he's going to be wearing. The thought of him in leather pants and a harness makes my sex clench with desire. Fetish wear probably suits him, as does everything else. Will I really be able to resist him if he goes dressed like that?
“Let's go shopping.” Janice stands and tugs at my arm.
I groan. “Why can't we just go dressed normally?”
“Come on. I'll hear no more about it.” She heads to the living room to grab her car keys.
***
“How about this?” I pull a catsuit off of the rack of lingerie at the sex shop we're at. The outfit isn't revealing, and it isn't latex. The only easy access part to it is the bust, which zips open.
Janice scowls at it. She's already picked out her costume, a sexy little halter dress that can barely even be called that. The thing is more straps than dress, with only enough material to cover her boobs, her butt, and her crotch. She's going to totally rock it with her perfect hourglass figure.
To be honest, the idea of Lucian seeing her in it makes me nervous. What if he finds her more attractive than me? Who wouldn't, really? I definitely don't want to lose him to my best friend though. He's everything she wants, and she's everything he probably wants as well. Perhaps inviting her was a bad idea.
“Maybe you should pick something less revealing.” I reach out to take the outfit from her and place it back on the rack, but she quickly jerks it away from me, clutching it to her chest.
“Mine. It's not my fault you're self-conscious.”
“I just don't want Lucian to think you look sexier than me.” I sulk.
“Then pick something sexier than this.” She pulls an outfit off of the rack and holds it up for me. “How about this?”
I take one quick look at the black vinyl dress with a double keyhole front and roll my eyes. “Does it look like I have enough boobs to fill that out?”
“How about this, then?” She picks out a dress that's held together with straps that go down the sides.
“My rolls will show.” I can feel my frustration building. All of these outfits are designed for perfect girls with skinny bodies and big tits. I have way too much body and not enough boobs. “I think I'm just going to take this.” I put the catsuit under my arm and start fumbling through my purse for my wallet.
“You most certainly will not.” Janice snatches the outfit away from me and puts it back on the rack.
“Janice, come on,” I whine. “I feel like we've been here forever. I'm not going to find anything else I like.”
She sighs. “Here. You don't want to be too revealing, then get this.” Janice shuffles through the outfits a moment longer before pulling out a blouse and skirt combo that looks like something I'd wear to work—the latex version. The only thing sexy about it is that it's skin tight, the skirt is short, and the blouse zips all the way up in the front. It's still way too easy access, but at least it covers all the right places. I'll feel less self-conscious in it than I would in the other outfits, though Janice is still going to outshine me for sure.
“I don't think I want to go anymore.” I look down at the ground, letting my negative thoughts get the better of me.
“Take it. We're going.” Janice nudges me towards the register.
I trudge along at a snail's pace, hating the outfit, hating my body, and feeling like agreeing to go to Fleshfest was one big mistake.
***
It's Saturday night, and Janice couldn't be more full of energy if she tried. She's hopping around the apartment in her new outfit, looking every bit as fabulous as I imagined she would. I'm stuck in the bathroom, fussing over my hair and makeup. Nothing is going right. I have my hair pulled up in a bun that's so tight it's stretching out my features. My eyeliner and mascara look far too dark, and I couldn't possibly feel less sexy than I do right now. Even though the outfit covers all the right places, it hugs all the wrong places, and in the bathroom lighting, my curves seem to be accentuated and not in a good way.
“I don't want to go. I look horrible.” I lean on the bathroom counter and rest my face in my hands, not even caring if I'm messing up my makeup.
Janice leaps into the bathroom, moving with the flexibility and grace of a cat. Damn her for looking so perfect. Now I definitely don't want to go. If Lucian sees her standing next to me, I'll be forgotten in no time.
“Why don't you just go without me.” My expression is earnest and almost pleading.
“No.” She shakes her head. “This was your idea. We're both going. Weren't you supposed to meet whats his nuts there anyway?”
“Lucian. Yeah.” My shoulders slump. This is my one chance to prove that I want to be with him. I do want to be with him, but I don't think it's worth looking like an idiot over. If this is what I have to go through to be a part of his world, then maybe I don't want to be in his world after all.
Janice stands behind me with her hands on my shoulders. “He's going to love you in this.”
I quirk my head to the side so she can see the sarcasm etched in my features. “I look more like a Domme than a submissive.”
“You knew that's what the outfit was for when you bought it.” There's no sympathy in her voice.
She's right though. Anyone with eyes can see that this isn't an outfit for a submissive.
“You'll be Mistress Underwood tonight,” Janice teases me.
“That's Domme to you.” I flick the fingers on her right hand to get her to take it off of my shoulder.
She drops both of her hands to her sides and stands next to me, looking herself over in the mirror. “Seriously though, take your time and try not to stress. It's going to be dark in there, I'd bet. He's not going to be able to see whatever imperfections you're trying to hide anyway.”
I sigh, “You're probably right. I don't know why I'm still fussing in here. We should just leave and get this over with.”
“We're not leaving yet.” Janice looks at me like I'm stupid.
“What do you mean we're not leaving yet?” I glance down at my watch. “It's almost eight. We need to get going.”
“You want to hook this guy, right?” She moves some of my makeup aside and lifts herself up onto the bathroom counter.
“Yeah...”
“Being on time isn't the way to do it. You need to make him wait on you.”
“But I'm always on time.” I shake my head. “I think that's one thing Lucian likes about me.”
“Trust me on this one.” She holds her hand out to silence me. “I know guys. You have to make them seem unimportant. You don't want him to think your world revolves around him. Then, he'll lose interest.”
“Being on time is just polite.” I knit my brows at her.
“Trust me, okay. Just trust me.”
I don't want to show up late. Hell, I don't want to show up at all. Who am I to know what guys like though? I haven't been with that many of them. Janice has had at least twenty boyfriends to every one that I've had.
“How about I pour us a glass of wine while you finish up your makeup?” Janice jumps off of the counter.
“Sounds good,” I grumble.
Wine might still my nerves a bit.
Maybe, if we show up late, Lucian will already have a few drinks in him as well. He won't care that I look like a cow who trampled through a sex store. And the later we get there, the sooner we can leave. Perhaps showing up late isn't such a bad idea after all.