CHAPTER NINE
It was strange returning to school knowing Damien wouldn't be there. One of my classes took me right by his old classroom. For nostalgia's sake, I peered inside. His name on the whiteboard had been replaced by someone else's. Mrs. McConnolly, it said. Seeing her curvy handwriting made me feel a bit guilty. If it wasn't for me being such a brat about the no masturbating rule, Damien would probably still have a job.
Oh well. What had happened happened, and we couldn't take it back. All we could do was move forward.
Damien decided to take the semester off. He said there was a lot of stuff around the house he needed to get done, and that he had enough money saved back to last him a while. Despite having a freed up schedule, he still only wanted to see me on the weekends, which made me feel both sad and suspicious.
The only consolation was that we had spent a lot of time together during my vacation between semesters. He had me in submissive mode the entire time, and I had to endure more punishments than I liked to remember. It was a game of pleasure and misery, constantly making me question if our relationship was right for me after all. I loved Damien; there was no doubt about that. And I loved all the strange and interesting kink he showed me. But I hated that he was so strict, so quick to punish me for slipping up.
It wasn't all bad though. Sometimes, Damien let his guard down, and I could actually pretend we were a normal couple, like when he invited me over to help decorate his Christmas tree. Those were the moments that made it all worthwhile, when he was just being a man instead of a Dom. We went around the tree, smiling and joking and laughing as we put ornaments on it. Then afterward, he made us hot chocolate, and we cuddled up together, admiring our handiwork. It was a beautiful memory.
Of course, once the hot chocolate was gone, and he had taken our cups to the kitchen, it was back to the bedroom for our kink session. Romantic Damien faded away like the warmth of the sun, and cold Dominant Damien took his place. Carnal Damien came after, when we were coupled together. There were parts of each man that I loved, but I still preferred Romantic Damien over them all. Unfortunately, he was the one I saw the least of.
Damien flew to Washington to spend Christmas with his parents, which gave me the chance to spend it with my mom. My dad was still on the road and would likely not be home until after New Years. Since Damien was no longer teaching at my college, I felt a bit safer disclosing details about him to my mother. She didn't seem very interested until I showed her a shirtless picture I had taken of him with my phone. I nearly spat out my cider at her expression and the overzealous way she said she would swoop in on him if we ever broke up.
Next came the question of when she was going to get to meet him. Thoughtfully, I replied that I didn't know, and then explained that he was in Washington for the holidays.
“When he gets back,” she said. “I've got to see if this guy is the same hunk of man flesh he is in that picture.”
“Mom!” I gasped at her. “You're so bad.”
“Hey, I may be old, but I bet I could teach him a thing or two.”
I highly doubt that. If it has anything to do with sex, Damien very likely already knows about it and has already tried it. He can run circles around anyone in the bedroom, I thought with a smirk.
Telling my mom about Damien wasn't the only thing I got accomplished during vacation. I also finally got on birth control pills, which Damien was ecstatic about. The only reason I had dragged my feet for so long was because I needed a pap smear too. It was the first one I ever had, and it was every bit as miserable as all the females in my life had told me it would be. Cold speculum, awkward position, uncomfortable swabbing. I grumbled all the way home about how I deserved a reward for going through that. Damien didn't seem to agree though. He insisted it was a necessary part of keeping up with my health, and that it should be rewarding enough to know I had done something good for myself. We could agree to disagree on that one.
Now that vacation was over, life was about settling back into a schedule and concentrating on my studies. Since I had dropped Art Appreciation last semester to get away from Damien, I had to take another humanities class, so this time I chose Music Appreciation.
Surprisingly, there was a familiar face in the class, a tall lanky boy with olive skin and unusual green gray eyes. When he spotted me, he took the desk next to mine, introducing himself as Colton Caldwell.
Mmm He looks even more yummy than he did at the restaurant, I thought, and then instantly chastised myself for it. Look, but don't touch. You have Damien.
I found myself looking throughout the entire class. And so was he. Instead of Music Appreciation 101, it was more like Eye Fucking 101.
When he asked me if I wanted to hang out after school, everything in me screamed no, but my lips still said yes. And so I found myself following him to his apartment, and then we were inside, sitting on his sofa, and I was feeling guilty for being there.
“How long have you known Vinny?” he asked, trying to break the silence.
“Not long. He's been dating my best friend since close to the beginning of last semester, but I've only seen him a handful of times,” I replied.
“He's a character, isn't he?”
He's an asshat. “Quite. They both have big personalities though.”
“Yeah,” Colton let out a short laugh. “We've known each other since kindergarten.”
“So, you're close?” I felt somewhat disappointed. Birds of a feather, as they say.
“Not really. We're more like long time acquaintances. We talked to each other off and on throughout high school, but we were never close friends. We had a class together last semester, and when he saw me, he wanted to get all buddy-buddy. Probably because I was the only person he knew in the class. He's a nice guy, but a little obnoxious at times. He really loves your girl though.”
I sighed in relief. “Oh, thank God. I'm glad I'm not the only one who thinks he's obnoxious.”
Colton grinned. “He's always been obnoxious. Some things don't change.”
“No, they don't.” I smiled, thinking about how Tanya was much the same as she had been in high school. Maybe even I was too, though I'd like to think that I matured a little. Dating an older man does that to you, doesn't it?
“So.” He took a deep breath. “Are you dating anyone?”
For some reason, the question caused a spike in my heart. I almost didn't want to answer it.
“Yes,” I replied finally.
His expression sulked a bit. “Vinny told me you were dating Damien Reed, the old Art Appreciation professor.”
“Vinny needs to keep his mouth shut,” I grumbled.
“It's true then?”
“We're not really dating. It's more like . . . something else.”
“Like what?”
“It's complicated. I don't really want to get into it.”
“But you're committed to him?”
“Yes,” I said, reassuring myself more than him.
“That's a shame. I mean, not that I'm surprised. You're a beautiful girl. You should have a boyfriend,” he stumbled over his words, making it impossible for me not to grin. “Sorry. That sounded stupid, didn't it?”
“No, it's fine, and I'm flattered you would say I'm beautiful. What about you though? No girlfriend?”
“No.” Colton rubbed the back of his neck, obviously still embarrassed about gushing.
“I don't know you very well yet, but you seem like a nice guy. I'm sure it won't be long before you find someone.”
Even though I couldn't have him, the idea of letting the chance slip by made me kind of sad. He was a cute guy, around my age, who wanted an actual relationship. What more could I ask for? And yet, I loved Damien. Our relationship was strange, but I felt like I had worked hard to get him, and I wasn't just going to give him up on a lusty whim, no matter how bad my loins were aching for this other boy . . . which was pretty damn bad. My body was all alight with desire and confusion.
“We should get to know each other better,” Colton suggested, breaking me away from my thoughts. “Just because you have a boyfriend doesn't mean we can't be friends.”
No, it doesn't, but it's dangerous, and I doubt Damien will like the idea. Or will he even care? I wasn't sure anymore.
It wasn't long after that I took my leave. To be honest, I couldn't get away from Colton fast enough. There was something about him that set off dark desires I hadn't felt in a long time, not since first meeting Damien Reed.
That night was one of the hardest not to masturbate since Damien first imposed the rule on me. My body was in a pleasure frenzy, and Colton Caldwell was the target. No matter how much I swore I wouldn't think about him, he kept coming back to my mind. His dark hair, his charming smile, the way he looked at me. It was different than how Damien looked at me—different than he had ever looked at me. Even in the beginning, Damien's eyes were cool and powerful, never betraying emotion. They were still like that most of the time. Where as, Colton's eyes were warm and hid nothing. I sighed, trying not to think about them as I drifted off to sleep.
The following day, Colton asked if I wanted to hang out with him again after school. To be honest, I had thought that telling him about Damien would have warded him off. That didn't seem to be the case though. Against my better judgment, I agreed. Not just that afternoon, but the one that followed, and the one that followed that one. We spent our time doing homework together and watching movies and playing video games and joking and flirting. Nothing went beyond friendship, but I certainly felt a closeness to him that amplified what I felt was missing from my relationship with Damien. By the end of the week, the only afternoon Colton and I hadn't spent together was Thursday.
I had never been more conflicted when I stood in front of Damien Reed's mansion on Saturday. For some reason, I felt incredibly guilty, like I had been cheating on him with Colton, even though I really hadn't. How would he react to me picking up a new male friend? Should I even tell him? Throughout the week, I sent Damien text messages to let him about the deviation from my schedule, though I only mentioned I had gone out with a friend, not who that friend was. He never asked, so I didn't feel it was important information to disclose.
Damien opened the door with the same deadpan expression, looking delicious as usual in jeans and a T-shirt. Obediently, I followed him back to the classroom as he asked me how my first week of school had gone. There was nothing remarkable about it except for Colton Caldwell, who I made sure to leave out of the conversation.
Tonight's kink session involved Damien fastening a heavy chain dog lead to my training collar. I laid back on the bed, naked and with my legs spread as he flossed the chain between my pussy lips. The coldness of it made me want to squirm, but there was certainly pleasure whenever the links bumped across my engorged clit. Damien skillfully worked the chain back and forth, watching my facial expression, listening to my breathing, totally in tune with my body. It was getting to the point where I rarely needed to tell him I was about to come; he just knew. That's when the game of give and take came into play. Sometimes I felt like he was a sadist because of his love of orgasm denial.
Eventually, he allowed me to plummet over the edge of sweet sexual oblivion. I panted while the contractions rolled through me, staring up into his eyes, trying to find some emotion there—any emotion there. Was he becoming bored with me? Did he even enjoy pleasuring me anymore?
Why are you worrying about this? Nothing has changed. Damien has always acted this way. It's you who are being different.
When my orgasm had subsided, Damien rose from the bed to take a seat in his usual chair, signaling that our play session was over. There would be no sex that night, which kind of disappointed me. Never did I feel closer to Damien than when he was inside of me. And I so desperately needed to feel close to him.
“You've been spending a lot of time with Tanya this week,” he commented as he watched me dress. “Did she finally break up with that guy you don't like?”
My heart froze in my chest, and I hesitated a bit, surprised by the question. Did he actually care, or was he just trying to make idle conversation?
“No, Sir. Tanya and Vinny are still together,” I replied.
“She must just miss you then.”
If I agreed with him, then I would be lying. Would a grunt be an appropriate response? It's not a yes or a no, more like an acknowledgment that he said something.
“I haven't been hanging out with Tanya,” I admitted with a sigh, praying I wouldn't earn a punishment.
“You haven't?” he sounded genuinely surprised, but not the least bit suspicious. “Who have you been hanging out with then?”
“This guy I met in my Music Appreciation class. We've been studying together after school.”
He furrowed his brow, and I didn't know whether to be scared or happy. It was the first hint of jealousy I had ever seen from Damien.
“You study together.” The words were cool discontent. “Where do you study at?”
I wanted to cower, but I maintained my composure. “At his apartment.”
“Hm.” Damien thought for a moment. “Why didn't you tell me about this boy earlier?”
“We're just friends, so I didn't think it was a big deal.” I shrugged.
“Did you know him before this semester?”
“No.”
“I don't want you going to his apartment anymore. And I don't want him over at your place either. If you're to study together, then I'd prefer you do it at the college.”
Even though part of me had wanted to hear those words, anger flooded me at the restriction. The way he had said it made him sound more like a father than a lover.
“Why can't we hang out together?” I asked.
“Because you were deceptive by withholding information from me, and this is your punishment.”
The answer shocked me. Not what I had been expecting at all. Not what I had been hoping for at all. Instead of saying what I wanted to hear, that he was jealous and afraid of losing me, he had twisted this into a punishment. Maybe he wasn't jealous after all, just upset I had been sneaky. It was a disheartening thought, and I wanted to challenge it, but before I had the chance, Damien spoke again.
“Tomorrow afternoon I'm going to be throwing a small house party. It's not going to be a play party, but you will be expected to serve and entertain my guests.”
Play party. I tried to recall the word. From what I remembered, it was a party that involved a lot of different people and scenes. Damien had told me we would attend one eventually. I was glad it wasn't happening yet. While I was slowly becoming more comfortable with the lifestyle, I wasn't sure if I was ready to participate in something that intense.
“Are the same people from the munch going to be there?” I inquired
“Yes, and probably a few people you haven't met yet. I figured it was a good time to step your exposure to the lifestyle up a notch.”
“And you want me to serve and entertain?” If he wanted to step it up a notch, I would have rather done it at someone else's house. By the way that Damien made it sound, I would be the center of attention.
“Yes.”
“What do you mean by serve and entertain?”
“I'll give you a run-through tomorrow. I want you here promptly at four o'clock, bathed and shaved. The guests won't arrive until six, but there is a lot of setup to attend to, and I'd really like to get you in the right mindset before everything gets underway. I want you at the top of your game. This party is as much about showing you off as it is about socializing.”
His words sent a proud blush to my cheeks. If Damien was asking this of me, then it meant he thought I was ready for it. That filled me with confidence. Maybe I was doing a better job as a submissive than I had thought.
“Are you ready to go over your vocabulary words?” he asked.
I nodded, taking the Teach position on the bed, even though it was completely unnecessary.
“Your first term is golden showers.”
Something you'll never do to me. A strict hard limit. “A golden shower is when urine is used for pleasure. The term specifically describes being peed on or peeing on someone else for humiliation or pleasure.”
“Very good. Your next term is handkerchief codes.”
“Handkerchief codes are used at play parties and other BDSM events where you might not know everyone around. Handkerchiefs of various colors are worn to silently signify what you're into.”
“You're thinking of handkerchief codes as they apply to gay leather clubs.” Damien smirked. “Handkerchief codes are far less extravagant at BDSM events. You can wear a handkerchief of any color of your choosing. Wearing the handkerchief on the left side of your body indicates you're a top. Wearing it on the right side of the body means you're a bottom.”
“Punishment?” I flinched away from the word.
“Yes, punishment, but not until we're done. Your last word is harem.”
“A harem is when one Dom has multiple submissives.”
“Multiple submissives serving one or more Doms,” he corrected me.
Damn, a half-right. Why was I so bad about getting those?
Damien continued with a sigh, “You've earned fifteen minutes of punishment for not studying. I would add onto it for your continued insistence not to call me Sir, but we both know how effective that would be. I'm really not sure what I can do to make you say it all the time, at this point.”
“You could just be satisfied that I say it some of the time, Sir,” I suggested, though I knew it probably sounded smart.
Thankfully, Damien just grinned at me. “I suppose. It's better than nothing.
“For tonight's punishment, I want you to stand on one leg for fifteen minutes. Any time you lose your balance and have to set a foot down, the count starts over.”
I groaned internally but nodded before standing to begin my punishment. By the grace of God, my balance was superb, and I made it the entire fifteen minutes without falling over, though the foot I had been standing on felt half-crippled by the time I was able to take my weight off of it.
With my punishment complete, I thanked Damien, recited why I had been punished, turned in my journal and definitions from the previous week, received my new set of vocabulary words, and headed home. The entire drive was consumed with so many thoughts, mostly about the party. What exactly would he expect me to do? Would the blonde woman be there? I supposed I'd have to wait until the following day for the answers to those questions.