Chapter Twenty-Four
Rachel
I was headed out the front door on Thursday afternoon. James had given me the next couple of days off to prepare for the crazy busy weekend we were going to have. As I was leaving, James and Nell showed up. Nell ran up and hugged me.
“Daddy says you are leaving early,” she said.
I smiled at her and nodded my head, “Yeah, is that okay?” I asked her.
She shrugged, and I had to laugh at that. Sometimes, she did things that were so almost adult-like it amazed me. She definitely was a very curious child and picked things up like crazy. I had to constantly watch what I was saying around her. I had to make sure that I wasn’t cussing and things like that because she would probably pick it up. I would hate to have to explain that to James.
“I wish you were staying,” she said. “I’m going to miss you.”
It warmed my heart when she said that, and I knew I was going to miss her, too. I found that I missed her a lot whenever I wasn’t around her, and she wasn’t even my own child. I got down on her level and gave her a big hug.
“I’m going to miss you too,” I said to her, wrapping my arms around her and squeezing gently. She hugged me back, as tightly as she could. I thought it was so sweet, my heart melted.
“Are you coming to the art show?” I asked her.
“No, I’m going to spend the night at my friend’s house.” She paused and looked up at her dad, “Daddy needs to work so it will be easier if I’m not around,” she said.
James laughed, “I didn’t say that. Those were not my words, I promise.”
I laughed along with him. I knew he wouldn’t say anything like that. But the way she’d said it was funny nonetheless.
“Well, I hope you have a good weekend with your friend,” I told her. It must’ve been so hard on James to see that his daughter wanted to spend the night at a friend’s house every weekend. I knew that he felt like he was losing time with her, and it was true. But that’s what kids do. They grow up. I didn’t really know what it was like, but I could imagine.
“I will, but I’ll miss you,” she said.
“It’s okay sweetie. I’ll see you next week, okay?” I reassured her.
She nodded, and I stood up and turned to face James. “I’ll see you Saturday,” I said to him, feeling like I really wanted to kiss him right then. But I didn’t, mostly because Nell was standing there and she didn’t really need to see that. I also wasn’t positive what was going on between us and I didn’t want to push any boundaries and scare them away. Things had been going so well between us.
I turned to leave, and then felt his hand wrapped around my arm, and he pulled me back a bit. He embraced me, and we hugged, but he didn’t kiss me. I could tell he wanted to, but that he was nervous with Nell in the room like I was. Kiss or not, I could tell he liked me, just like Nell had said he did.
I said goodbye and made my way out the door. I decided I’d head over to Sadie’s and visit with her for a bit. I needed some good girlfriend time and hoped she did too. I knew I needed someone to talk to. I’d been so busy with work and spending time with James and Nell lately that I hadn’t had much time to hang out with her. I felt a little guilty for that. Like I wasn’t being a very good friend. But I couldn’t help it, and I was sure she would understand.
I got to Sadie’s bakery, and it was busy as usual. We exchanged hellos, but she was with a customer, so I sat down at a table. There were three customers waiting in line, and after she’d finished with each of them, she came over to the table and sat down.
“Hey, long time no talk,” she said.
I laughed, though I wasn’t really sure if that was a dig at me for not coming around much, or if she was trying to be funny. I decided to hope that she was going with the latter. I really didn’t want her to be upset with me.
“Sorry haven’t been around much. I’ve just been so busy with my job with James, plus helping take care of Nell,” I said. She lifted an eyebrow at me, and I knew that had to deal with the conversation we’d had when I first started working for him. “Don’t worry, I’m still not trying to play mommy,” I said, putting my hands up in defense.
“I’m sure you’re not. But what else is going on with you guys?” she said, wiggling her eyebrows at me. I knew exactly what she was talking about, and I knew what she was getting at. I laughed.
“Well, I’m not 100% sure. We went on sort of a date a few weeks ago, and he didn’t even kiss me.” I said the last part sort of quietly. I didn’t want her to think I was trying to read too much into things.
“Why didn’t you just kiss him?” she asked.
That was a good question, and I hadn’t really ever thought of it. But we were past that now, and she hadn’t given me the opportunity to continue the update.
“I don’t know. But well, we went on another date. An official date this time, and one thing kinda led to another,” I didn’t say anything else because I figured I’d let her imagination run wild with that one.
She slapped her hand down on the table which sort of startled me a little bit, and I laughed. “No, no you didn’t. Did you?” She was laughing and looking delighted, so I could tell that she was really enjoying hearing about this. I debated whether I should just come out and tell her the truth or mess with her. Messing with her would be a heck of a lot more fun, but I wasn’t sure I was really in the mood to mess with her.
I nodded my head and left it at that.
“Oh my gosh. That’s awesome. You go girl. I was wondering if that was gonna happen,” she said.
“What do you mean?” I asked her.
“Well, you seem to like him and his daughter so much. I could tell you guys were getting closer and the way you talk about him tells me about the chemistry you both have together. I knew it was only a matter of time before he slept with them,” she said.
My jaw dropped open at what she said, and the way she said it made a sound like I was a floozy. That I would’ve slept with any boss I had, and I didn’t really want that reputation. I knew she was just messing with me, but if it was that easy for her to read, I wondered how many other people could see it as well.
“Also, you don’t typically attach yourself to somebody’s family members unless you’re really into them,” she said. I had to remember that Sadie and I had known each other for a long time, so she had been there for a lot of my life and the few boyfriends I’d had, none of which are really that serious, besides my ex of course.
“Listen, Rachel; I want you to know that I am in full support of this. And I am very happy that you’re happy. But I want just want you to keep in mind that you need to take things slow. I don’t want you to get way too involved and then have something happen to set you back. You’re finally doing so well, and I don’t ever want to see you go back to that dark place you were in. I hated when you were there. I wanted to help you, but I just didn’t know how. I just hope you realize this is coming from a place of love and concern,” she said.
I smiled at her. “I know what you mean. Thank you for caring so much. I want you to know that I am watching myself. I won’t let myself get to that deep dark place again. That was awful, and I don’t ever want to feel like that again,” I said to her.
She got up to help a customer get a refill, and then another customer came in. I pulled out my phone and saw that I had a text from James. He said that he already missed me. I thought it was cute that he said something like that to me, so I wrote back and told him that I missed him too. A few minutes later, Sadie came back over and sat down.
“So, there’s an art show this weekend. Are you going to be up to make it?” I asked her.
She made a face that told me that she had bad news. “I won’t be able to make it, I’m sorry. I have some new suppliers coming in, and I have to make sure to test out my recipes with these new ingredients. So, I have a very busy weekend. But, I’m so glad that you love what you do, and it’s so good to see that you have this new drive for something.” She leaned across the table and put her hand on mine. “I’m serious, Rachel. It’s been years since I’ve seen you this happy and stable.”
I smiled at my best friend, so glad that she could be here for me. I squeezed her hand back. “Thank you, Sadie. That means a lot.” I said.
“After the divorce, you know,” her voice trailed off. “You just shut everybody out. So, I’m just really glad that you’ve let me back in.”
I had to admit that what she was saying was hard to hear because I didn’t want to hurt my best friend. I didn’t want to hurt anybody. But I’d been through so much that I really didn’t know what else I could do. Standing up, I gave my best friend hug and fought back the tears that threatened.
“I’m so sorry, Sadie. I will never do that to you again,” I said, “I promise.”
She hugged me back and told me she knew I wouldn’t. We sat back down, and she updated me on what was going on with her store. She’s getting ready to open the new location on the other side of town, and part of that required some new recipes. She wanted to bring in new recipes to up the hype of the new store. I told her that her ideas all sounded great. She also had ideas for making wedding cakes, which she had never sold before.
I was sincerely happy for my best friend. Everything was going so good for her, and, since things were finally going well for me, I didn’t feel jealous at all. Before, when I was miserable, I didn’t really like hearing about Sadie’s triumphs. I didn’t want to hear that things were going so great for her when things were so shady for me. Now that I was finally doing better, I loved hearing everything good that was happening for her.
I told her I couldn’t be happier for her. We hugged one more time just as some customers came in and I figured I’d better let her get back to work. I told her goodbye and said that I’d stop by again soon. When I got home, I picked up the picture that was sitting on my table and stared at it.
For the first time, I was able to look at it without breaking down into a blubbering mess. I was so glad and relieved that I was finally able to move on. I put the picture back down and went to take a bath.