Chapter Thirty-Three
James
On our way to school that morning, Nell seemed extra quiet. Every time I tried to ask her what was bothering her, she refused to tell me, and my concern for her only grew more. I knew that Rachel had talked to her, and I’d hoped that it would fix things, and it had over the weekend, but this morning, she obviously had something on her mind.
“Are you okay?” I asked her.
I looked in the rearview mirror. She just shrugged. It drove me nuts when she did that. It was like she was shutting me out.
“Nell, you can talk to me, you know. Something bothering you?” I asked her in a gentle voice. I wanted her to know that I could be someone she could lean on. I could be someone that she could talk to about whatever she was going through.
“I don’t want to go to school.”
I turned in the school parking lot and pulled behind the other parents that were dropping kids off. I stopped the car and looked behind me at her.
“Why not?” I asked her.
Once again, she shrugged.
“Sweetie, if you don’t tell me what is going on, I can’t help you,” I said to her. I’d hoped that this would bring her out of her shell. I wanted her to just tell me what was going on with her, so I could fix whatever was bothering my little girl.
“I don’t want to talk about it,” she said.
“That’s okay too, sweetie.” I got out and walked around to help her get out of the car, then gave her a big hug and told her I was going to miss her. I told her that I’d see her soon and that I hoped she had a good day. And I really did hope she had a good day. I didn’t want her coming home sad anymore. I knew something was bothering her at school, but I just didn’t know what it was.
“I’ll ask Rachel about the parents’ dinner, okay?” I said to her, and for the first time that morning, a huge smile lit up her face. She wrapped her little arms tightly around me and gave me a big hug.
“Thank you, Daddy. I love you,” Nell said.
Then I watched as she made her way over to where her class was standing. Still worried, I walked back around and drove away.
“Hey, beautiful,” I said to Rachel when I got to work. I loved how she would get up from sitting at the desk and greet me every day when I got there. It was a simple gesture, but it was sweet.
“Hey, handsome. Thank you,” Rachel said, taking the coffee from me. I gave her a kiss.
“So, I have a question for you,” I started. I wasn’t sure how to invite her to the parents’ dinner. I was nervous, but I kinda figured that since it was for Nell, she would love to do it. There was something about Rachel that still made me nervous. Maybe it was my own insecurities about losing someone else I’d loved so much.
“I might just have an answer for you,” she said, with a laugh.
I laughed along with her and then decided I better just come out and ask her. “Nell’s school is having a parents’ dinner this weekend. She wants to know if you’ll come?”
Rachel’s eyes lit up right away, and that told me she was more than excited to join us. “Of course! I would love to join you both for that,” she beamed.
I smiled and wrapped her in another hug. Then I gave her a soft kiss on her lips.
“I was hoping you would say that, but I just didn’t know what you might’ve thought,” I said to her.
“You don’t ever have to be nervous about asking me to those types of things. I’d love to go. I adore Nell and care deeply for her. Anything she needs me to do, I’m in,” Rachel said.
I loved how she was open to everything regarding Nell. She wanted to do just about everything Nell had ever asked her to. And she did it with a smile on her face. I’d never once heard her complain about Nell even being around. We got time alone together when Nell went to spend the night with friends, and I think that was just enough for Rachel. I love that about her, how she just went with the flow. She understood that I had a child and that Nell needed to come first.
“She’s going to be very happy,” I told her.
My phone started ringing, and I looked down to see it was a number I didn’t recognize.
“Who is it?” Rachel asked. She must’ve seen the confusion on my face.
“No idea,” I said to her. Figuring it was probably a client, I answered.
“This is James,” I said into the phone.
“Hello, James. This is Trisha Williamson. I’m the principal at Nell’s school. Nell is currently in my office, and I need you to get here right away,” the voice said.
“What is this about? Is she okay?” I asked. I had no idea what had happened, so there were a thousand things running through my mind.
“There’s been a fight, and you need to come to the school. That’s all I can say over the phone, thank you,” Trisha said.
“I’ll be there soon as I can,” I said to her. I hung up the phone, grabbed my jacket and gave Rachel kiss.
“Is everything okay?” Rachel asked.
Bless her heart for caring and thinking something might have happened.
“I think so, but I’m not sure. That was Nell’s principal, and I’m gonna go find out what it’s all about right now,” I said. “Can you cover things here? The pieces for the—"
“I’ve got this; you go ahead and don’t worry about a thing here. I hope everything is okay,” Rachel said.
I gave her another kiss. “Me too,” I said and then rushed out to my car and raced to the school. There were a million things racing through my mind. Did something happen? Did she get hurt? Did this have anything to do with the way she was acting?
My nerves were going absolutely crazy. I just wanted to get to school so I could figure out what was going on. I was very worried about Nell and hated how cryptic the principal was on the phone. I felt like she should have been able to give me more information than she had.
I pulled into the parking lot, shut off my car and got out. I walked into the office and let them know that I was Nell’s father. They had me sit in a chair and wait for a minute. After about a two-minute wait, the principal opened the door.
“Come on in; I have Nell in my office,” she said.
I followed the principal inside and saw Nell sitting there. She had obviously been crying and looked about to start again now that I was here. I sat down next to her, “What is this all about?” I asked Ms. Williamson.
“Well, this morning as class was beginning, Nell hit another child,” she said.
I was completely baffled. “What?”
“Your daughter became angry with another student and hit her,” the principal said.
I turned and looked at Nell, not believing my ears. There was no way that my sweet innocent little girl would’ve done that to another child. There had to have been a really good reason behind it.
“Why did you do that, Nell?” I asked her.
Nell looked up at me, “Rachel told me to stand up to bullies,” she said, her voice small and quiet. It made me feel a little bad for her.
“What? Rachel told you to what?” I was so confused. Why was Rachel giving my daughter advice on how it was okay to hit other children? She might not have worded that way, but Rachel had no idea how to be a parent. She didn’t realize how a child could take something you say and turn it into something else.This was not okay at all. My heart broke a little bit, and it suddenly seemed like maybe I hadn’t made the best decision by having Nell get so close to Rachel. Maybe being with someone who didn’t have kids of her own wasn’t such a great idea. Maybe she didn’t understand what it was like to have children.
“We haven’t decided on a proper punishment yet, but I think for the day you’ll just need to take her home,” Trisha said.
“I can do that. I’m sorry for what my daughter has done and I’ll have her write an apology letter to the child she hit,” I said.
I shook her hand and told her to have a wonderful day. She was still cold and stoic towards me, however. I didn’t really like her and wondered how she could work in an elementary school and be that cold towards children. Did she know what had happened between the two kids? No, she had no idea. She didn’t even bother to stop and ask Nell what possibly could have provoked something so out of character. I didn’t talk to Nell much as we got in the car. I didn’t want to embarrass her in front of everyone.
But as soon as we were in the car, I asked her what had been going on. To which she just responded with a shrug. I was getting more and more frustrated. I didn’t understand why Rachel would tell my Nell to do something like that. She was most definitely overstepping. I needed to have a talk with her. A very serious talk that could even impact our future together. I wasn’t going to put up with her telling my child what to do and setting Nell up to get in trouble.
“You know that wasn’t okay, right?” I asked her.
She nodded her head and sniffed back a couple of tears. I know I probably should have felt bad for her, because obviously she was going through some stuff, but I didn’t seem to know how to talk to my daughter. She didn’t seem to know how to talk to me, either. She wouldn’t let me in.
“Nell, you can’t just hit other kids. If you have a problem with someone, you need to talk to them or to your teacher, or me. But you can’t use violence.”
Nell ignored me and continued to stare out the window like it was nothing. It was the most infuriating thing.
“Nell, you can’t ignore me. Ignoring this is not going to make the problem go away. Obviously, something is happening at school. You need to tell me what is going on.”
Silence.
I continued to drive back towards work. I was getting more and more frustrated the closer I got. I know I was going to have to address Rachel, and I tried to calm myself down before I got there, because I didn’t want to completely blow up at her, but she had no idea what it was like to be a parent. She had no right to give Nell any sort of advice, especially without talking to me first.
“Are you mad at Rachel?” Nell asked, when we pulled up outside the art gallery.
“Yes, I am.” I didn’t want to lie or sugar coat anything. “This is serious, Nell.”
“Don’t be mad at her, Daddy,” Nell said, but it was already too late for that.