Chapter Nine
James
From my second-floor office, I could hear the girls laughing downstairs. I walked down the steps and into the gallery area. That’s where I spotted them, sitting at a table Rachel had pulled out from the back storage room. That’s when I noticed what they were using it for. I stood there, in the back of the gallery, watching Rachel paint Nell’s fingernails.
It warmed my heart to see them like that because I knew that Nell really needed something, someone like that in her life. Someone to paint her nails and talk about whatever girls talk about together. Esther wasn’t a bad nanny. She took good care of Nell and did what was asked of her, but I had never seen her actually do anything like this with Nell.
I took a few more steps, trying to be quiet so I could watch their little moment together, but Nell spotted me too soon.
“Daddy! Rachel’s painting my nails.” There was pure excitement in her voice as she held up her right hand to show me her freshly painted fingernails. I watched Rachel cringe and held back a laugh.
“I can see that,” I said and walked over to the table. I pulled out one of the chairs and sat down next to them. Nell’s fingernails were now painted a bright pink color. A color that I felt was perfect for a little girl. I wasn’t at all upset, but I could tell that Rachel was nervous. I didn’t want to make her nervous, though it seemed like that was all I did.
“I hope this is okay? I just had some in my purse, and Nell spotted it and told me that she had never had anyone paint her nails,” Rachel said. She seemed a little leery, like she didn’t know how I was going to react.
“It’s perfectly fine, Rachel. I love that you are doing this with her.” Then I looked at Nell. “Looks like Nell loves that you’re doing this with her too.” The excitement was written all over Nell’s face.
“I do!” Nell cheered and threw her hands in the air. When she realized what she had just done, she brought her hands back down and examined her fingers. “Oops,” she said.
Rachel grabbed her hands gently and examined them. “None of them got messed up; it’s okay.” Rachel smiled brightly at Nell and Nell returned it with one of her own.
“You know, Rachel, I was thinking that you can take the rest of the day off. I’ll still pay you for a full day, but I want to spend some time with Nell,” I said.
With her in school now, I knew I wasn’t going to get very much time with her anymore. I wanted to take the opportunity anytime I could to spend time with my daughter. Before I knew it, I would be packing her up and sending her off to college. That was something I didn’t really want to think about.
Rachel looked at me. “Are you sure you don’t need me to stick around to help out with anything? I think there are a few more emails I can reply to. Or, I could even help you get ready for next show.” She listed off various things she could possibly help me out with, and I couldn’t help but laugh at each one.
I loved how helpful she was and that when I was trying to send her home early, she just wanted to stick around and help. I felt like I had lucked out. She was the best assistant I had ever had, by far. Not only did she go above and beyond for me, but she also would above and beyond for Nell.
Already, she had done things without me asking her to. I also took note of how gorgeous she was. I just tried not to focus on that too much.
I smiled at her, “No, Rachel. It’s okay, seriously. I think I’ve got things under control. How about I call you if I need anything.”
“Okay, sounds good to me. Nell, have a wonderful weekend with your father. I’ll see you Monday.”
Putting the bottle of nail polish back into her purse, she zipped it up, then checked the website really quick for new comments. “Okay, I’ll see you Monday. Have a good weekend, you two,” she said, and just like that, she was out the door.
“Let’s get this place closed up and head home, shall we?” I asked Nell.
She nodded enthusiastically, and I went upstairs to shut down and pack up my laptop. I brought it home with me every Friday, in case things came up, I could deal with them from home.
“Ready?” I asked Nell.
“Yes, Daddy,” she said, and we walked down the stairs and out of the front door of the building.
I turned and locked the front door, double checking to make sure it was locked by pulling on the door. Then we walked over to the car, and I helped Nell get in. Once we were both buckled up. I turned to her in my seat, “What do you want to do?” I asked her.
She shrugged, “Can we get pizza?”
I nodded my head, “Of course, we can do that.”
I drove down the street a few blocks to our favorite pizza place. It wasn’t overly busy, so it was the perfect time to be there.
Nell and I ordered a pepperoni and sausage pizza, then we went and sat down at a table that was next to a big window.
As we waited for the pizza to come out, Nell told me all about her first week of kindergarten. She was so excited as she spoke, and it made me excited for her. She told me all about the playground, and what areas were her favorite. She had a favorite swing and preferred the bigger slide of the two. But she also liked to run around on the big field.
She told me that she was excited to be able to eat lunch there next year, and went on to say that she was glad she got to eat lunch with Rachel every day. It made her happy, and I was so glad to hear that. It helped me immensely to know that somebody good was watching over my daughter. I wasn’t leaving her in some daycare where anything could happen at any moment. I had never wanted to leave her to daycare because I’d heard way too many horror stories. Being a single parent, I just didn’t want to deal with it if I had any alternative.
“Oh, and Daddy, I have a friend named Kassondra. She’s my bestest friend, Daddy.”
“I’m glad you made some friends, Nell. I knew you would.”
“No, not just friends, Daddy. Kassondra is my bestest friend.” Her eyes suddenly lit up, and I looked behind me to see a person walking over with our pizza. He set it down, asked if we needed anything else and left us to enjoy it. I grabbed a paper plate from the stack he’d left on the table, and handed one to Nell, then served us each a slice of pizza.
“What else do you want to do tonight?” I asked her.
“Well, Kassondra wants me to go over to her house tomorrow and spend the night. I have her mom’s number in my backpack for you, so you guys can talk about me going over there.” The way she explained this to me was like I was having a conversation with an adult. I didn’t think I’d ever get used to her sounding so that way.
“So what, you don’t want to go watch some movies?” I asked her.
Nell shook her head, “No, I really just want to go home and get my beauty sleep,” she said.
I couldn’t stop laughing at that. Children always sounded so hilarious when they tried to use adult language. I’d never heard her say anything like that before and found it very funny.
“Okay, sweetie,” I told her.
We finished eating our pizza and boxed up the rest, then we headed home. I hoped I could spend a little more time with her, and I wanted to bond with my daughter after such a big week. I still couldn’t believe she was in school. When we walked in the door, I asked her again if she wanted to watch a movie.
“I just want to get to sleep, Daddy,” she said.
“Are you sure, sweetheart?”
Nell looked at me with her big blue eyes, “Yeah, I’m sure. I want to get some rest so I can go see my friend tomorrow. Can you call her mom, please?”
“Okay, sweetheart, let’s get you to bed,” I said, taking Nell’s hand and walking with her to her bedroom. After she got changed and brushed her teeth, I tucked her in. Then I went over to her bookshelf and selected Goodnight Moon. I read the book to her, and she read parts of it with me. I’d always enjoyed how smart she was. She picked it up so fast. But then again, I had read it to her repeatedly for a good six months. Repetition is key.
“One more time?” she asked.
I smiled down at her. And just because I felt like I was losing time with her and I knew she wasn’t going to be around the following night because of the sleepover, I reread the book to her. And when it was over, her little eyes were very heavy, and she was starting to drift off to sleep. It was amazing to me how easily she could sleep. I wished I could sleep like that, but insomnia kept me up most nights until one or two AM.
I gave her a kiss and a hug, then turned the light off and closed her door. I left it cracked a bit, just like she’d always asked me to. I headed into my bedroom and sat down on the bed. A few minutes later I heard her yell for me. I got back up, walked down the hallway and opened the door.
“Yes?” I poked my head into her room.
“Can I have some water?” she asked me, sleepily.
I nodded my head and walked into the kitchen. Grabbing a bright pink cup with a lid, I filled it with water, headed back to Nell’s room, and handed her the cup. She took a few large gulps and laid her head down. She quietly whispered good night, and I could swear I heard her snoring by the time I left her room.
When I went back to my own room this time, I thought about Rachel painting Nell’s fingernails today. It made me think about Whitney and how she would never be able to do that with Nell. I was glad Rachel was around and that she had done something like that with her. It made me feel a lot better about where Nell might be headed. I hated thinking about her growing up without her mom. It was one of the things that kept me up at night. I had never told anybody that, it wasn’t really anyone’s business.
I laid down and struggled to sleep, now too worried about Nell going to her first sleepover.