Chapter Twenty-Eight
Olivia
I felt like I might burst into tears at any second. I had finally gotten up the guts to tell Eric about the pregnancy, and now, I was regretting having done so. From the sound of things, he wanted no part in this baby's life.
It was enough to have me considering giving the baby up for adoption. I wasn't sure that I could be the mother that I needed to be, knowing that the baby had been born out of such an unhappy relationship. But I knew I couldn't do that. Things were so uncertain with Mom at the moment, and the only bright spot that I had at the moment was the knowledge that I was finally going to be giving her a grandchild. She had already gone shopping for some itsy bitsy shoes for the baby, as well as a couple of stuffed animals and other clothing items.
I didn't know what I'd expected, coming into Eric's office, but it definitely hadn't been this.
“Eric, I never slept with Buck,” I insisted. “I'm telling you, you're the only man that I slept with.”
“Take your lies somewhere else,” Eric said angrily. “I've had about enough of them! I heard Buck at the gas station. He was talking to Gary, the cashier, telling him all about how he fucked you. I think the details were that first you rode him, and then he pounded into you from behind? Does that sound accurate?”
I felt faint. I couldn't believe that Buck had said something like that. From what I knew of the man, even if we had slept together, he wasn't the type to go blabbing the details all over town. But the truth was, we hadn't slept together, so that made it even more puzzling. I didn't know what he was trying to gain by lying about it.
I swallowed hard. “Eric,” I pleaded, taking a step closer, reaching out toward him.
But Eric stepped back, his eyes hard and his arms folded across his chest. “Don't,” he said warningly. “I don't know what you think you're gaining by lying to me, but I'm not falling for it. He had all the details, Olivia, right down to that butterfly tattoo on your lower back. How else would he have known about that, if he didn't see you naked?”
“People see my tattoo all the time when my shirt rides up,” I said, shaking my head. “Eric, I swear to you, I didn't sleep with him. Please.”
“Get out of my office,” Eric said coldly.
“You're not going to tell anyone about the baby, are you?” I asked desperately. I didn't want to keep it a secret from the whole town, but I also didn't need Eric telling everyone that I was pregnant with Buck's kid. I could only imagine how confusing things would be if that were to happen.
Eric's face twisted into a nasty expression, but then he nodded curtly at me. “Just like any other patient, what we've discussed is confidential,” he said, emphasizing the fact that I was 'just like any other patient.' The words were like a stab to the heart, but at least I didn't have to worry about him telling anyone.
I stumbled out of his office, wishing that there was something that I could do to fix this. But I didn't even have anyone I could talk to about this. Telling Mom was certainly out of the question, and Eric was the only person that I had become friends with there in Tamlin. There were my friends back in Chicago, too, but I hadn't talked to any of them since I had moved away. We were all at such different places in our lives that it was difficult finding any common ground.
What I wanted was to confront Buck and ask why he'd been lying about me, but I couldn't do that. For all I knew, he hadn't actually lied about me at all. It was just something that Eric had made up. That seemed plausible.
Maybe Eric just really didn't want to be a father again.
The thought was sobering. He had told me right at the start that I was the first person that he had slept with since his wife. His signals toward me had been so hot and cold: he'd been so interested, and then we'd slept together, and he'd avoided me. Repeat.
I had to realize that sleeping with me must raise complicated feelings in him. And knowing that I was pregnant must make everything even more complicated. Maybe he felt like being happy to find out that I was pregnant meant that he was dishonoring his former wife. Or maybe he was concerned about how it would affect Emma.
None of that could excuse his behavior, but at least it helped me understand it a little.
But then again, given the way that he'd yelled at me at the hospital, getting frustrated with me for not convincing my mother to undergo chemotherapy, I had to wonder if it was about honoring his former wife's memory. It seemed like he was perpetually upset with me, even beyond the decisions that affected our relationship.
I swallowed hard, shaking my head. I didn't know what he was thinking, and he refused to tell me.
I turned the key, starting my car and preparing to drive off to somewhere, anywhere, to try to get him out of my head. But as I was backing out of the parking lot, I noticed Georgia Witherspoon pulling into a parking space.
Of course.
Maybe his refusal to believe that the child was his had nothing to do with Buck at all; that was just an excuse. Maybe he had finally decided to move on to Georgia, just like she'd been trying to get him to do for years. The woman was hot. I had to give her that. And she was persistent. I remembered the day she had run into us at the general store.The was that she had practically thrown herself at the doctor.
I had a sick feeling in my stomach, but it was nothing like morning sickness. No, I had a feeling that the real reason that Eric didn't care about this baby and refused to believe that it was his was because he had turned his gaze toward someone else. And after all, wasn't that the point of our relationship? We were just casual. I was just his rebound, preparing him for a real relationship after his wife's death.
I swallowed down bile and drove out of the parking lot, speeding down the road. I needed to put as much distance as I could between Eric and myself. Between Eric and Georgia and myself.
My tears started falling, and I had no choice but to pull over on the side of the highway, sobbing helplessly. It seemed like ever since I had heard mom's cancer diagnosis, everything in my life had been turning to shit. Every time I thought that I'd found a bright spot, that crumbled before my eyes as well.
Now, it seemed like I was losing my mom, as well as the man that I'd thought I could count on to stand by my side. Eric and I may have had our differences, but I had known him to be a good guy. I'd thought that if I told him about the pregnancy, we would be able to put aside everything that had come between us, that we would somehow make it work.
But instead, he had called me a liar and refused to even talk to me as a medical professional.
For the first time since finding out that I was pregnant, I began to have regrets. Maybe I should never have slept with Eric in the first place. I had hardly known the man. If I had known that things were going to turn out like this, I never would have gone out with him.
But he'd been so sweet and so charming that it was difficult to reconcile this side of him with the man that I'd had sex with. That man I had come to love, despite hardly knowing him. This man, though, I couldn't even face.
I put my hand over my still-flat stomach. As upset as I was, I didn't want any harm to come to the baby. It wasn't its fault that Eric and I couldn't make things work between us. I'd just have to try extra hard to show it, love, to make up for the lack of a father.
With that thought in mind, I grabbed the piece of paper that Eric had given me, which I'd tossed in the cup holder. Then, I called to set up an appointment with Dr. Lazaro.