Good Man

Well, he did tell my father that this was his home. Yup, I didn’t miss that. Just one more thing to piss me off. Now on top of all of the other crap my father thinks I’ve done, he thinks I’ve been living with a man as well.

Yes, Felix spends the night here when he can. Yes, he sleeps in my bed with me. Yes, I know I’ve been sleeping with Felix, but it’s the principle of it all. If I’m going to be accused of something, let it be the things I’ve done. That’s all I’m saying.

Most of all, I’m still fuming over being blindsided and then made to feel like crap. None of that would have happened if Felix hadn’t gone behind my back and forced me to face my father. I’ve been so mad I won’t let Felix explain what the hell he was thinking.

I’ve let him dictate to me for long enough. And no, I’m not doing this because I can afford to take care of myself now. Although, it’s nice to know that I can if I need to. Again, it’s the principle.

I love Felix, but he can’t just do what he wants all the time. He thinks he’s doing what I need, but how can he know that when I don’t even know what I need anymore.

Honestly, I’m just hurt and in my feelings. My father called me a liar. I think it hurt more because I am. I’ve been lying for over three years. I’m tired and it’s weighing on my soul.

So much so that I should be writing this book, but I can’t think or focus for the life of me. Every time I start to type my mind wanders to Felix or my dad. That night was horrible.

The front door opens and my frustration rises. Felix walks in with a Cold Stone’s bag in his hand. He walks over, placing it beside me.

“I just fill your car with gas. I’m taking the light and gas bills with me. I’ll put out the trash after I kiss Dae-Dae goodnight,” he pauses with a sigh, leaning over to kiss my forehead. “I’ll come to cut the grass this weekend.”

All things I didn’t ask him to do. He has been steadily chipping away at my armor just like this. If I weren’t so hurt by what happened I would have given in already. I miss him, but I don’t want a relationship like my mother and father’s.

Daddy runs all over my mother when he wants. Sure, she has fought many battles and won. However, lately, all I can think of are the ones she rolled over on. I guess that’s because the last time I needed her most she didn’t take a stand.

I feel like I’m seeing that version of my mother in my own relationship. Until I sort my feelings out, I’m going to stick to my guns on this. He was wrong and I’m not in a forgiving mood just yet.

He releases another sigh. Then turns for Dae-Dae’s room for their nightly routine. The one thing I refuse to do is get in the way of their bond. I know how much Felix means to Dae-Dae and how much Dae-Dae means to him.

When he’s out of sight I peek into the bag. A little smile comes to my lips. It’s my favorite, Oreo Overload. He even added the caramel sauce on top.

“How long are you going to stay mad at that boy?” My mother’s voice pulls my attention.

I turn to see her coming in from the backyard. She must have been in the guesthouse with my grandparents. When I tell you Felix found me a house with more than enough space, I have more than enough space.

My shoulders sag a little more. At times he does get it all the way right. I pout as I think of how hard I’m being on him and then I hear my father’s voice calling me a liar all over again and I get over it.

“I don’t know, but I’m not ready to forgive him yet,” I mumble.

“You know he had no idea your father was coming,” my mother says as she sits at the table.

My brows knit, as I search her eyes.

“What?”

“Your father overheard me talking to Cassie. She arranged things with me and your grandparents for Felix. I was so excited that I hadn’t heard him come into the house.

“You know your father. Once he heard the conversation, he wouldn’t let up until I told him what was going on. He’s lit up at the mention of you. I thought things would work out differently,” she bows her head. “You’re both so stubborn.”

“I’m not going to let him make me a villain for something I didn’t do,” I huff.

“I knew that girl was trifling when I first saw her hanging around your brother,” my mother says with a frown.

“You know who she is?” I gasp.

This was the one detail I didn’t reveal. I told my mother everything except who Dae-Dae’s mother is. I sit in shock as she lifts her head and looks me in the eyes.

“I’m a mother. I knew about Danny too. He was so in love with Alberto. He hid it well, but there were moments that he’d slip up and let it show in his eyes. A mother sees things others don’t.

“Just like I knew you were in love with Felix all of these years. I had a feeling something was off that night. When you two came to your father. I also had a feeling Danny was tied up in it somehow.

“I’ve known your father for a long time. God saved him from some terrible things so he is set in his beliefs the way they’ve been taught to him.

“I…I thought I had time to smooth things over. Time to prime your father before sitting him down and easing him into your brother’s lifestyle choices. I thought you would cool off and come home—”

“But why didn’t you reach out when I didn’t? When Danny died and you couldn’t…why’d you leave me alone?” I ask sadly.

“I regret it every day. I was so distraught. Losing your brother was like living a nightmare. Then, I…I just. I wanted to. How do I make your father understand this now.

“His only son is gone and to return our daughter is to take his son away again. I feel like I’ve failed you both—”

“Mommy,” I protest. “I understand.”

I lift from my seat and wrap my mother in my arms. I know exactly how she feels. It’s the reason I didn’t want to return. I planned to take Danny’s secret to the grave.

If it weren’t for Cassie’s words I would’ve. But I needed to be set free. I’ve felt trapped for so long. Well before my brother asked me to cover his secret for him. My father held the reins so tightly, I’ve felt imprisoned to his beliefs since I was a little girl.

“You know we are all always right and wrong,” she says through her tears.

“It’s all in the eyes you’re seeing life through. What’s right to one isn’t the truth to another. Our greatest challenge in life it having the courage to be wrong and the wisdom to learn when we aren’t right.

“Just because it’s our truth doesn’t make it the truth. It only makes it the truth we’re willing to accept. That boy has come here every single day for the last two weeks. He talks to you even though you won’t answer him.

“He takes out the trash, plays with the baby, don’t think I haven’t seen him going through the mail for the bills. He does all of that while looking like he might pass out from exhaustion. Then, tells you he loves right before walking out that door, every time.

“Not once has he forgotten to declare his love. Trust me, I know because I’ve listened. I’ve prayed for him to make it home safely every night. Tired and stressed out over his woman not talking to him.

“Baby, you’ve rubbed enough salt in that wound. He doesn’t deserve it. He was trying to do something nice for you and it went wrong, but it’s not his fault,” she looks into my eyes through her tears. “You hear what I’m telling you?”

“Yes, Mommy. I hear you,” I murmur.

“Now, your father. We’re going to let his old butt remain salty for a while,” she gives a small laugh.

“You get no arguments from me there.”

“Go fix things with your man, Kaye. A good wife never brings unrest to her husband’s head. Soothe him while showing him the way as gently as you can. Save the silent treatment for the big stuff,” she says, standing to her feet and kissing my cheek.

With a grin on my lips, I grab my ice cream and make my way to get my man. I miss him.

However, when I get to Dae-Dae’s room, I don’t find Felix. Dae-Dae is fast asleep in his bed. His little snores filling the quiet room.

“Did he sneak by us?” I mutter to myself.

I move down the hallway to my room. When I push the cracked door open I find Felix sitting on the bed, twisting the titanium ring on his pointer finger. It’s the ring I give him when he graduated high school.

We’d gone surfing one time and he wanted to walk through the shops after. He saw the ring, but forgot he didn’t have his wallet on him. I went back the next day and bought it for him.

“You still have that ring?”

Felix

Kaye has always been mine. We’ve danced around this for so long, but in all honesty we were meant to be together. It’s the reason I can’t let this go on any longer.

“You gave it to me. Why wouldn’t I?” I respond to her question.

“It just seems like so long ago,” she replies coming to stand in front of me.

My hands instantly go to her waist. I bury my face in her belly, needing to anchor myself to her. I’m exhausted and I miss the fuck out of her.

“You’re talking to me,” I muse aloud.

It’s a statement, more than a question. Hearing her voice directed at me is like water to an open flame. I’ve been thirsty for her words, her attention.

“My mom told me that you didn’t know my father was coming,” she replies.

“I tried to tell you that but you wouldn’t listen.”

“Yeah, I know. Some people are just so stubborn,” she says with a smile in her voice.

I growl and nip her stomach. Her responding giggle is like music to my ears. Two weeks without that sound has been killing me.

“I’m sorry things tanked the way they did. That was not the night I had planned at all,” I groan, lifting my face to look at her.

“I was more angry that you didn’t give me the chance to prepare to see my dad or the chance to make the choice,” she says with sadness in her eyes.

“When have I ever taken your choice away?”

“Really?” She asks giving me a pointed look.

“Kaye, the few times I’ve demanded you do something has always been for your good. What you don’t understand is…ultimately, it’s always your choice. I’ll always do what’s best to keep you safe and happy, but I won’t force you to do anything that makes you unhappy.

“Come on, think about it. Haven’t I always been willing to bend when you need it? That’s me respecting your choices,” I say, trying to show her my point.

“Yes, you’re right,” she says softly.

“I need you to judge me for the man I am, not the man that raised you.”

Her head whips back as if I’ve slapped her. It’s the truth. She’s placing me in her father’s shoes.

She just stares at me. I hold my ground. I’ve said what I meant. Everything I’ve done for Kaye, I’ve done so she can be happy. I never want to take that from her.

“You’re right,” she whispers. “I’m sorry.”

“I’m sorry too. I should have asked him to leave before you arrived.”

Kaye snorts and laughs.

“Pastor Porter would have broken his foot off in your ass,” she says through her laughter as she throws her head back.

It’s a beautiful sight. I wish I could wake to that every morning. I squeeze her waist, drawing her closer.

“Whatever,” I chuckle.

“You know I’m right. I’m surprised he didn’t try to shoot you a fade for throwing him out,” she giggles.

“Shoot me a fade? Listen to you. You’re father doesn’t want it with me,” I tease, running my hands up her back.

I begin to massage my way back down. She moans as her eyes fill with lust. I suck my bottom lip into my mouth. Tired or not, I want her.

“My ice cream is melting,” she holds up the bag. “I should hurry up and eat it.”

I lift a brow when she drops to her knees before me. She places the bag on the floor, reaching for my belt. My cock goes crazy inside my pants.

I spring free as soon as she gets the zipper down. Her hands hook into the waist of my jeans pulling them down my hips. I lift to help her, kicking my sneakers from my feet.

Kaye tosses my jeans over her shoulder when she gets them off. I lean back on my elbows against the mattress. Pushing my shirt up she kisses my stomach, starting a trail down to my waiting length.

My lips are parted in anticipation. I know what Kaye is capable of with that mouth. It’s more incredible than all the dreams and fantasies I’ve had about it.

Her eyes lift to mine, that plump lower lip going into her mouth. I watch as she reaches for the bag, pulling the ice cream out. I can see through the lid it has started to melt. When she opens the top, it spills right over my saluting rod.

Kaye wastes no time diving in to lick the sugary taste off of me. I pulse against her tongue, my head falling back as I groan. She licks me from root to tip then back again.

“Fuck,” I hiss the word out.

My nostrils flare when I feel her slide her mouth down on me. Her tongue swirling on the way back up. I’ve taught her well. She knows just how I like it.

“Kaye,” I groan, “Damn, baby.”

She answers with her own hum. My right hand goes into her hair, clutching her ponytail. I use it to guide her, slowing her down. I’m in no rush to come. I’ve needed to feel her mouth on my body for weeks.

Her small hand digs into my thighs. I feel her nails drag upward, raising goosebumps. I groan and my head rolls. My hips start to lift meeting her efforts.

“Oh, yeah,” I pant. “Just like that.”

After a few strokes things get awkward as we both move, the challenge being her squatting and the height of me on the bed. I tug to pull her from sucking. She looks up at me like I’ve just committed a crime.

I start to back up on the bed. She catches on, grabbing the ice cream as she follows, climbing up the bed after me. Settling between my legs, she pours the rest of the ice cream down on me.

This time she lets it empty all over my cock and up my stomach. I mentally make a note that I’ll be picking up a new bedspread. She’s going to be pissed at us both when the moment fades.

“Ah,” I rasp. “Yes.”

Kaye goes back to work, this time licking and sucking at my balls. I spread my legs wider, bending them at the knee as I watch her get into pleasing me. Bypassing where I long to have her most, she licks my stomach clean.

“Fuck, yeah.”

I’m damn near drooling from watching the way she does it. It’s not just the feel of her silky tongue on me. It’s the sexy, determined look on her face, as she watches me through her lashes that’s turning me on.

“Oh, fuck,” I call out a little louder than I mean to.

When she sucks the ice cream off the tip of my shit, without placing her mouth on it, I loss it. It’s the sound of her slurping the ice cream in that’s just icing on the cake. I bite my lip and my brows knot in the center of my forehead.

When she dives in and sucks me clean in one pass, I almost propose on the spot. I didn’t teach her this shit. My girl has been in that nasty head of hers again.

I love when she has new things she wants to try on me to see if they will work in her books. I would pay to have a front row seat to what really goes on in that brain. She rolls her neck and starts to work me with her hands.

A grin comes to my lips. I guess this is a front row seat, but I’m not about to be out done. I lift to reach for the hem of her shirt, pulling it off. She releases me from her mouth long enough to get the top off.

I hear her shoes hit the floor. Next, Kaye works to wiggle out of her panties and the skirt around her waist. I tug my shirt off the rest of the way.

“Come here,” I command.

Reaching an arm around her waist, I draw her lower body towards me. Leaning back, I guide her pussy over my face. I can already smell the lavender oil she rubs into her skin every morning and night.

Bringing her mound down to my mouth, I kiss her fat pussy before opening her folds and having my own feast. The room fills with the sounds of sucking and slurping. Kaye continues to give as good as she’s getting as she moans around me.

My legs start to rock back and forth. I’m getting close. I palm her ass in both hands and really dive in to get her there at the same time. When I feel my own release rushing forward, I suck her clit into my mouth and push my thumb into her ass. She squirts all over my face.

I’m shocked at first. It’s the first time it’s happened. If I didn’t already come down the back of her throat that would have ended me right there.

“Come here,” I say, helping to shift her body so we are face to face.

Cupping her face, I lick her lips, tasting the flavor of cookies and cream on her face from the ice cream. I let my tongue linger around her mouth, cleaning up the sticky remains of the melted treat. Kaye snuggles into me, getting comfortable.

I run my fingers up and down her back. I’m not settling in. I’m just giving her time to recover.

“I love you,” she whispers.

“I’ve missed hearing that,” I admit.

“I know. I promise to talk to you from now on. Sometimes I’m so busy trying not to be like my father, I end up being just like him. Thanks for not giving up on me,” she replies.

“I’m here Kaye. Lorg a h-uile duine leatha agus cùm i leat leat fhèin,” I repeat the words I told her, what now seems like so long ago.

“Find her worthy and keep her for your own,” she says with a smile in her voice. “I think I’m going to use that in my book.”

“Have at it. I just want my royalty. I’ll take ten percent, thank you,” I tease.

“Bullshit,” she giggles.

“Oh my, Kaye. What would the Pastor think of that mouth?”

“Well, since I’m already a heathen in his eyes, fuck it,” she says.

I burst into laughter, kissing the top of her head.

“I like my sweet mouthed Kaye better. The smooth to my rough. The verdict is still out on your heathenism,” I chuckle.

“Still not giving you no royalties,” she whispers.

“Whatever, I’m already all of your heroes so I’ll let it pass this time,” I taunt.

Kaye sits up to looks down at me. Laughter in her eyes, she looks at me pointedly. I lean up and take her mouth in a deep kiss.

“Tell me when I’m lying, baby,” I rasp.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” she rolls her eyes.

“Fine, let me remind you,” I growl pouncing on her.

I give her one for the books while cleaning us both off in the shower. We made it through our first big fight. Thank, God. It’s over and I have my baby back. I think we can make it through anything.