Brotherly Love

Jordan and Dae-Dae were distracting me. I swear these kids will drive you insane. Try listening to an eight year old and a nearly two year old explain to you how one of the other kids wronged them will drive anyone to grab for the nearest thing to chew to keep from cursing.

It’s just dawning on me that Noah had just appeared with the plate of gooey treats. Fucked up part is, that shit wasn’t meant for me. I know which one of my brothers those two were after.

“Fuck,” I groan.

I’m sweating my brain out as I fuck this bathroom up. I don’t know how long I’ve been in here. My stomach is killing me. Noah is wrong for this shit. Payback is a motherfucker. We’re all grown ass men with wives and kids. Why the fuck are we still feeding each other shit cakes?

Noah’s vindictive ass has it coming. We’ll see how he likes it when I lock him out of his house or some shit. I’m going to come up with something. He should have been paying closer attention. One of the kids could have eaten one of those fucked up brownies.

“Shit,” I groan.

I pull my beanie from my head and toss it into the sink. My t-shirt is next to come over my head and get tossed. I flush, reaching for the spray.

“Are you fucking kidding me?” I hiss.

There’s no spray or toilet paper. I look around and confirm that I’m shit out of luck. Nothing. This has my brothers written all over it.

I’m pissed as fuck now. Pulling out my phone I text my wife. I need her to come to my rescue. This shit is so embarrassing. I’m going to kick their asses.

Shooting off a quick text all I can do is wait, which isn’t a problem. Apparently, I’m not done. I close my eyes and groan as my ass feels like it’s exploding.

“Babe,” I hear Kaye outside the bathroom door. “I was wondering where you’ve been. You okay in there?”

“No, I’m going to kill them,” I growl.

I roll my eyes when my wife bursts into laughter. This shit is not funny. I just sit and wait for her to get it out.

“I’m sorry, honey. I’m sorry,” she giggles. “Bean is trying to find the toilet paper. You guys are going to have to hold on for a minute.”

“You guys?” I ask with my brows furrowed.

“Yeah, Ry and John are,” she cutoff, bursting into more laughter. “Let’s just say you’re not the only one in need of toilet paper and air refresher.”

“Assholes,” I mutter.

“Babe, I’ll come back when I find paper and some spray. You kind of stink,” Kaye giggles.

“Whatever, Kaye,” I huff.

“Pee-yew,” I hear Jordan’s little voice outside the door.

I roll my eyes. Of all of the kids, she’s the last one that needs to be outside the door. It just keeps getting better.

“Is that Uncle Lix?” Riley’s voice comes next.

“Oh God, really?” I groan.

Kaye hoots with laughter. I push a hand through the front of my sweaty hair. This has become my life. All these crazy ass kids, my brothers still acting like kids and my wife creating story after story from all of our antics.

“Come on, girls,” Kaye coos. “We might need to go to the store.”

I shake my head. I can hear her laughing as she moves away from the door with the girls. This is some bullshit.

Just you wait, Noah.

“Noah and Wyatt just rushed into the bathrooms at the back of the house,” Nellie laughs.

“You know you’re so wrong for this,” I say through my laughter.

“Ye get as old as me and ye will learn a thing or two. They all think they’re too old for me to put them in their places. I think the fuck not,” Cass huff.

We all crack up. All of the ladies are sitting around for the baby shower games. Joe and some of the other male guests have the children. I dropped Jordan and Riley off before coming in here.

“Felix thinks his brothers did it,” I giggle.

“Aye, he would,” Cass mutters.

“Remind me never to piss you off,” Val says through her laughter.

“I shouldn’t have to tell grown men to clean up after their wee un. I asked repeatedly for them to clean up before they left with the babes. I had a damn headache that day or I would’ve done it me self,” Cassy fuses.

“That’s the problem they are so used to you doing it for them,” Nellie says.

“I nearly broke me neck on those fucking toys last week. I told them I’d get them,” Cass says.

A gasp draws our attention. We all turn to find Jordan and Riley standing in the doorway. I cover my mouth to hide my laugh.

“Bad word, Grandma,” Jordan chides.

“Not today, lass. I be cheesed off, I am. Ye get yer wee butt back with rest of the chisellers. I’ve had enough of the lot of ye, I have,” Cass fuses, folding her arms over her chest.

I promise you Jordan’s eyes round and get large in her head as she gives her grandmother a pleading pout. Imagine Puss in Boots from Shrek, Jordan has perfected that look. I watch Cassy turn into putty, opening her arms for Jordan to run into.

“And this is why Jordan is Jordan,” Nellie says, palming her face.

“Tell me about it,” I giggle.

“That little girl is something else,” Pam says.

“Aye, has me wrapped around her finger just like her father when he was her age,” Cass says with sheepish look on her face.

We all start to laugh again. Like I said, I love my family. Every single one of them—and boy there’s a lot of us these days.

I can finally say I have that smile—one like Danny’s. A smile that brightens my days and feels freeing. I’m living my life without apology.