Life Changing

A week ago, I became a New York Times bestseller. Today, I’ve been offered an opportunity to make a movie out of one of my books. I’ll be helping with the adaption of the book and everything.

This is all happening so fast. At least it seems that way. I feel like in the blink of an eye, all of my dreams have come true. I’ve been sitting here for about an hour thanking God repeatedly.

However, all of this will be happening overseas in Ireland of all places. This is so unexpected. I don’t even know how I’m sitting here with this opportunity.

I’m waiting to wake up from this dream, but there is a voice on the inside of me that keeps telling me this is real. This is so big for my career. I want to ride this wave, but Dae-Dae is turning four soon.

I can’t just uproot his life yet again and drag him around the world. He’ll be in preschool. Dae-Dae loves my parents and grandparents. I couldn’t possibly pull him away from them.

Yet, this is a chance of a lifetime. An entire year away, that’s a lot. I think of Felix and my heart sinks. I’ll be leaving him behind. I know he can’t come with me. Both Dae-Dae and I will miss him like crazy.

I don’t know what to do. I need to decide soon though. The agent that called me to make the offer explained that I have to get back to them sooner than later.

My head is still spinning. I don’t know how my work ended up on her desk in the first place. I think my head is going to explode any second now. I’m totally awed.

My stomach rolls again. I force myself to breathe. I try to think of all of the pros and cons to this.

Going means I’ll take my career to the next level. I’ll have a movie on my resume. This could mean a traditional deal or more exposure as an indie author. I mean, the possibilities are endless.

Dae-Dae could experience a different culture. I’d need someone to watch him. Dean has been wanting to get away. She could always come along. My head is spinning at the thought of this actually happening.

Yet, at what cost? Leaving everything behind just doesn’t seem right. My heart literally aches with the thought of sacrificing one for the other.

Remembering how hard it was to be away from Felix when I lived in New York, I let out a shuddered breath. Heck, I pout when he can’t come spend the night here at the house. He refuses to let me take the long drive in when he knows he can’t make it.

I’ve been to his apartment once to sleep over. He prefers to be at the house with Dae-Dae. Another nod to the importance of stability.

I’ve talked about us moving closer to Felix and my family. My grandparents moved out of the guesthouse last month. Most of their friends live around my mother and father’s neighborhood.

Felix agreed that it would be a great idea for me to move, but I get the sense that Felix has been waiting for something. I guess that’s for the best. I would have hated for him to purchase yet another home for me if I do decide to up and leave.

My phone rings and hope blooms in my chest that it’s my girls calling. We are due for a writer’s chat. When I look up at the clock, my hope deflates. It’s too early for either of them.

I look at the phone and groan. It’s Bonnie. I’m not in the mood today. To be honest, if I take this offer, I’ll have to cancel the signing with her group.

Not that I believe I’m going anyway. Something about her hasn’t been sitting right with me. I’ve been avoiding conversations with her more and more. I’ve actually been annoyed by the fact that she wants me to do so much of the promoting of her event. I mean it’s way more than others have wanted.

I don’t see the other authors she’s mentioned doing much. In fact, I don’t see many readers buzzing about it either, which is odd. Then again, I’ve had my head down working on my books and plotting my next move.

When the phone stops ringing, I pick it up to call Felix. I think we need to talk. Before I can swipe to dial his number, Bonnie’s number comes up again.

“She can’t be serious,” I mutter.

Her partner Lisa emailed me once. It was short, sweet, and to the point. This chick is working a damn nerve. What the heck could she possibly want that she’s calling me back to back?

I let it ring out again. I’m not in the mood to get caught in her rambling. She keeps going and going and going. I’ve told her many times I’ve had to go and she’ll just roll right into the next conversation that she carries on her own.

I toss the phone down, too annoyed now to call Felix. I need to clear my head. I get up and go into the bedroom to put on the new yoga pants and top I purchased the other day.

I’m starting to feel like my weight is becoming a problem. I was running after Dae-Dae in the back yard the other day and I was so winded I thought I’d pass out. Not to mention, my knees and back have been hurting from sitting and typing so much.

Maybe a little yoga will help whip me back in shape. It’s sure to help me clear my mind. I change and make my way back out to grab a bottle of water.

When I pass my phone it’s lit up. Reaching for it, I tap the screen and see five more missed calls from Bonnie and a voicemail. Starting to get concerned that something might actually be wrong, I listen to the voicemail.

“Hey, girl. It’s me. I had some questions about those chapters you sent me. Oh and you won’t believe what’s going on in Diane Spark’s group—”

I cut the message off right there, baring my teeth at the phone. I don’t have time for this bull crap. Why would you blow up my phone just to tell me some gossip I don’t give a crap about? This isn’t high school. I have real things going on in my life.

Not to mention, I haven’t sent her chapters in, I don’t know how long. I stopped asking for BETA readers after the last book. Dean and Kia give real feedback and professional critiques. I found Bonnie and the few other readers I tried didn’t give any useful feedback, if any at all.

I was starting to feel like they were taking advantage of me, which wasn’t fair to me or the readers that get the end result. I always want to give my best work. Every useful critique helps.

I breathe through my frustration and storm out to the backyard. Yeah, I need to do this yoga session before I lose all of my marbles. As for that bus tour—I’m not going even if I don’t go to Ireland.

Enough is enough. I’ll email Lisa once I’ve calmed the heck down. I’m over Bonnie. I don’t even know who Diane Sparks is.

Lord, give me strength.