Bestseller

Having someone I know in attendance will help me to come out of my shell. I’m naturally a shy person until I get to know you. Then I can open up and be me. This is totally outside of my comfort zone.

I feel like my life has been a whirlwind in the last year or so. So many things have changed, I’ve learned so much. I’m happy.

I’m also grateful to have my parents back in my life. My mother has come on this trip with me. She agreed to come along to watch Dae-Dae. I didn’t want to leave him behind.

My grandparents offered to keep him at my place, but Dashawn is full of way too much energy. He would have worn them out. Besides, my mother has taken such an interest in what I’m doing. She’s been a great help with arranging my finances.

Felix has been busy with work again. He was barely able to see us off. I know that was much to his frustration. I hope we can find more time to spend with each other when I get back.

I’ve been getting more and more offers to do events on and offline. I want to say yes to everything, but I need to find time to write and I have Dae-Dae to worry about. Anyone that says having a writing career isn’t real work is crazy.

I’m exhausted just thinking about what we have to look forward to this weekend. I hope I can handle the pressure of coming out of my shell to talk to new people.

“Earth to Kaye,” Dean says, bursting into my thoughts.

“Sorry,” I mutter.

“Relax honey,” she reaches for my hand. “This will be painless. I promise.”

“If you say so.”

She rolls her eyes waving me off. We are walking to the opening meet and greet for the weekend events. My stomach is in all types of knots.

What if I say something stupid? What if no one knows who I am? What if someone tells me my books suck?

I have all types of thoughts running through my head. I try to tell myself to breathe, I’ll make it through this. Still, every step feels like I have on steel shoes.

“Your mom is so sweet. She didn’t have to treat me to breakfast,” Dean says.

I love her for changing the subject and trying to pull me out of my own head. I don’t think I would’ve or could’ve done this without her. I latch onto the lifeline she’s throwing me wholeheartedly.

“That’s my mom. You might as well put your wallet away for the rest of the trip. Besides, I think she’s trying to send my father a message with the bill,” I reply.

“Are things still tense with him?”

“Tense? You would have to interact with someone to have tension. Things with my father weren’t tension, they were a hot mess,” I laugh.

I can laugh about it now. A few months ago, I probably would have burst into tears. I think of his sermon and almost do anyway.

“Things are better. A lot better,” I inform her.

“That’s good. I’m sure having his grandson around has changed the sound of his tune,” she says.

“You might be right there.”

My shoulders sag a little. I hate lying to my friends. I’ve told the truth to so many already. I just haven’t told Lakia and Dean.

I go to launch into the story, but I feel Dean’s entire demeanor change. The air seems to shift and I catch the sound of the low hiss that comes out of her mouth. I turn to Dean to see her face is twisting in dark anger.

“Ain’t this some bullshit? I told these heifers I wasn’t doing this event if she’s here. How you going to put me in a room with someone you know I have beef with? I wasn’t joking when I said that hoe better not ever show her face around me again,” Dean says through tightly clenched teeth.

I grab her arm just as she looks like she’s going to cross the room and act a fool. I have a tight hold on her, but she’s trying to get free. I lean into her ear and whisper to her.

“You’re here for business. My daddy always says you don’t argue with a fool. No one can tell the difference between the two from a distance. Calm down. You don’t ever let someone take you out of pocket when it comes to taking care of your pockets. Breathe,” I say low enough for only her to hear.

When I look in Dean’s face she looks like she’s on the verge of tears. I know that feeling. When you’re so angry you want to react and holding back is almost painful.

“You don’t know what she’s done,” Dean chokes out.

“Neither do these readers. You’ll look like a crazy woman beating someone’s ass for no damn reason. It’s not worth it, boo. Today, we go high,” I murmur.

Dean nods her head, looking away from me to gather herself. Her fists clench open and shut as she reins it in. She is visibly still shaking with rage.

I reach for her hand and squeeze it. When she looks back at me I see the gratitude in her eyes. Dean has a hot temper. I’ve seen and heard it in action before.

“I don’t give a damn about none of this. I’m doing this for you,” she says. “But I love you for thinking of my career and looking out for me.”

I pull her into a hug. Her arms go around me and squeeze tight. We’ve grown so close from such a long distance. I love and respect this woman.

“I love you, girl. The best is yet to come for you. Don’t lose focus for no one,” I say.

She nods her head, pulling away to wipe her face with the back of her hand. She inhales a deep breath, smoothing a hand down her dress. She gives me that sassy smile.

“Let’s go stunt on these bitches. After all, my book did just chart with the big dogs,” Dean winks.

I grin. We squealed like crazy this morning. She ranked higher than she’s ever ranked on the charts. I’m so proud of her.

“Love your crazy ass,” I giggle.

Felix

I, on the other hand, have unfinished business on my hands. Not to mention this case I’ve been working that’s getting on my nerves. My instincts are telling me to be patient, I’ll get what I need soon enough.

I feel like I’ve been telling myself that a lot lately, in most areas of my life. Things have been going great between me and Kaye. Yet, I haven’t felt like the time has been right, when it comes to proposing. I can’t explain it.

Have you ever had the feeling like things can blow up in your face at any moment, or like you’re one day away from things in your life shifting in a way that will change everything? That’s the feeling I’ve had lately. My gut has never stirred me wrong, it’s a gift and a curse.

Pursing my lips at my computer screen, I place my hands behind my head. Blowing out a breath, I feel like I’m watching paint dry. It’s like this guy knows we’re on to him.

“Come on you little bastard,” I mutter to myself.

“Not the sort of greeting I was expecting,” I hear a voice boom.

I look up to see Pastor Porter standing in front of my desk. I look around the office. Noah has raised his head from the papers in front of him. Toby is lost in his phone. Ryan has a grin on his face as he sits back in his chair and folds his arms over his chest.

Little fucker.

He would be amused by Pastor Porter looking like he has come to kick my ass. I stand, holding my hand out for his. We shake and I nod for the conference rooms.

“You want to have a seat and talk?” I ask.

“Don’t you think it’s about time?” He asks, lifting a brow.

I shrug. “I’ve been trying to get in to see you. Our schedules have been conflicting,” I reply.

He frowns and shakes his head. “Yes, I know. That church doesn’t run the same without my wife there. My assistant never brought your calls to my attention. I would have cleared some time for you,” he says.

“It’s all good. I need to take a break.”

I round my desk and start for conference room B. Pastor Porter falls in at my side. I open the door and let him walk in before me.

“Can I get you something to drink?” I offer.

“No, I’m fine. I had a late lunch with my in-laws. You know that curry will rock you to sleep,” he chuckles.

“Yeah, Grandma Reid has my pants needing to be let out,” I reply.

“I know that’s right. I lost weight while they were in Jamaica.”

“Have a seat,” I hold my hand out, gesturing for the seats at the conference table.

“Thank you. You know I’ve always liked you, Felix. You never came into my home with disrespect. I think that’s what hurts the most,” he says, unbuttoning his suit jacket and taking a seat. “You’re like a son to me.

“Why didn’t you come to me and tell me what was really going on with Kaye? You knew where she was and said nothing.”

“With all due respect, sir. Kaye never changed her number. She still hasn’t changed her cell number. What was stopping you from calling your daughter and finding out what was going on with your grandson?” I reply.

He sits back in his chair, his jaw working under the skin. I can feel my own temper flare. I’ve had opinions about this for a long time.

“Listen, you’re the father of the woman I love. I don’t want to be at odds with you. You and Kaye both thought you were doing the right thing—”

“It was you,” he cuts me off. “You were the one sending me the emails and pictures of her and Dashawn. Letting me know they were okay.”

“Yeah,” I nod tightly. “She’ll kill me if she finds out.”

“I’m sure. I wanted to thank you. You will never know the comfort those pictures and emails brought to me.

“At twenty three Kaye was a grown woman. She made a choice. I let her live her life. Had I known what I realize now, I would have intervened but I think things worked out just as they should have,” he says.

I shrug.

“There were times she would have rather had her mother and father,” I mumble.

“When Dashawn is older and you and Kaye have more of your own, you will understand,” he says.

I just stare at him. He lifts a brow at me and cracks a smile for the first time. He starts to laugh.

“Boy, you think I don’t know you are head over heels for my daughter. You have been since you were teenagers,” he laughs. “I always thought she was going to come home and say you were her boyfriend. I was blindsided with the Alberto thing. He was such a reckless young man.”

“He had a good heart. His home life just sucked,” I defend.

“Again, when you have children you will understand the facts, but you will always want what’s best for your children. My son would be here to raise his own son if not for Alberto’s reckless behavior,” he replies.

I draw a hand down my face. While he may be right, Alberto was my friend. Honestly, he is absolutely right, but still.

“Felix, I didn’t come here to rehash the past. I came to talk about the future. I knew from the moment I saw Dashawn he belonged to Danny.

“Kaye shouldn’t be burdened with her brother’s son. My wife and I—”

“Hold on a minute,” I raise from my seat. “That’s her son! She has raised him from the moment he was born. His mother didn’t give a shit and walked, leaving Kaye on her own. She has loved and taken care of Dae-Dae all on her own.

“You’re not about to take his mama from him. She’s all he knows and she loves him like her own. Never once did she say she wanted to give him up. I’m not letting this shit go down like this,” I bark.

He lifts to his feet, glaring at me.

“Boy, you better remember who you’re talking to. Sit your ass down before I whip it and call your mama and daddy to come and whip it again. I’m not trying to take that baby from that girl,” he snaps back at me.

I tear my hat off my hat and flop back in my seat. The door to the office opens and my dad walks in. He has a grin playing on his lips as he closes the door behind him.

“Told you,” my father chuckles, holding his hand out to Pastor Porter.

“Didn’t let me get my words out,” Pastor Porter mutters.

“What were you getting at?” I huff.

“Ye best be fixing ye tone,” my father throws my way.

I shift in my sit. I’ve pissed my father off. His accent is slipping through. He’s not having it when it comes to disrespecting his friend. These two have been buddies for years. They go to basketball games together when they can.

“Cass told Danesha you were going to propose. We know you plan to marry Kaye. We were thinking we could take Dashawn off your hands from time to time,” he explains.

I side glance him. He and my father both take a seat. I feel like I’m being ambushed.

“You and I both know that girl is stubborn. Look at where my wife and grandson are now. She won’t be able to drag him around like this forever. Her career is just taking off.

“Your parents and my wife and I want to be a support system. We thought she would take it better coming from you. As I said this is not her burden. I don’t want her to pass up on any chances and opportunities in her writing career because she thinks she’s alone,” he says pointedly.

I nod. He is right. Kaye will make every sacrifice she can to take care of Dae-Dae. This has been a concern of mine as well.

“All he is asking is for you to come to us, your family, before you both burn out. We’re watching it happen,” my father says. “If your mother threatens me one more time over this, I’m going to cobbler you myself.”

I grin. If Mom is after dad about this, I’m in for it. They’re right though. I’ve been spreading myself thin.

“I’ll talk to Kaye,” I reply.

“Good. Now, when’s the wedding?” Pastor Porter asks.

“Soon, I hope,” I smile, rubbing the back of my neck.

“She deserves the best,” he says.

“All I’ve ever known to give her.”