Chapter 13

Jenna

I BURIED MYSELF IN THE TEDIOUS job of wallpaper removal to try and take my mind off my broken engagement, the fact that I was totally blowing off my mom, and the look in Ethan’s eyes when I opened my big mouth and asked a question I shouldn’t have.

He was so screwed up in a way that would send any normal person running far away, but there was something about him that drew me to him. I enjoyed being around him and was attracted to the mystery that followed him. Maybe I was screwed up too.

My stomach dropped when I heard my phone ringing in the other room. I rushed to grab it, happy to see Amelia’s name flashing across the screen.

“Thank goodness it’s only you,” I answered.

“I got your message first thing this morning. Jen…what’s going on?”

“I called off the wedding. I’m sorry, Amelia. I’ll give you the money for your bridesmaid dress. I just couldn’t—”

“Hold up, hold up! What exactly happened that made you finally come to your senses?”

Amelia was never a big fan of Brad’s and she didn’t ever mince words about it either. I gave her the entire lowdown of the past twenty-four hours, just waiting for her to tell me “I told you so.”

“Oh, Jenna, honey, I’m sorry, but I’m not going to say I’m not happy that you came to your senses sooner rather than later.”

“Yeah, I know, but I just feel like I’m letting everyone down.”

“Who are you letting down? Believe me, sweetie, I’m not sweating a couple hundred dollars over a dress in exchange for my best friend’s happiness.”

“Oh, Amelia, if only my family could be as understanding as you. I’m avoiding my mother like the plague this morning. She’s going to flip out!”

“Jen, stop worrying about everyone else. Are you happy with your choice?”

“I am. I really and truly am. I feel so awful for saying this, but a huge weight was lifted from me.”

“Why do you feel awful for saying it? Brad is an arrogant, insensitive cheater. You should be relieved that you’re rid of him.”

“Tell me how you really feel, Amelia.” I laughed.

“You need to go have a rebound fling. Find yourself some hot guy and have a one-night thing.”

“No, that’s the last thing I need right now. I’m just going to focus on getting my little business venture up and running.”

“Oh, how’s it going, by the way?”

“As good as it’s gonna get for now, I guess. I shopped around for a cheaper plumber and Ethan’s been a huge help with things.”

“Who’s Ethan?”

It totally slipped my mind that I hadn’t told Amelia about the mystery man.

“Jen, are you holding out on me?”

“No.” I laughed. “I actually just met him last week, believe it or not, but I feel like I’ve known him my entire life. It’s just the oddest thing.”

“Is he cute?”

I paused. “More like gorgeous.”

“There’s your rebound!” she exclaimed.

“No, Amelia, absolutely not. He’s got some underlying issues. Like a really dark side that comes out every now and then. The last thing I need to do is get involved with someone who’s emotionally unavailable.”

“Who cares if he’s emotionally unavailable? That’s even better. You’re not going to fall in love with him, you’re just going to fuck him.”

“You’re too much!”

“Well, can you at least sneak a picture of him for me? I could use some eye candy. Ever since we got married, Dan has gone from my hot boyfriend to my chubby hubby.”

We both cackled with laughter. “Actually, I have a picture of him. He took me to this beautiful sunflower field the other day, and—”

“Ummm…he’s emotionally unavailable? Doesn’t sound that way to me, if he’s taking you places already.”

“No, believe me, it’s not like that. He’s just someone to talk to in the absence of my bestie. Who better be getting her butt down here to visit really soon.” I put her on speaker while I texted her the picture just as there was a knock on the front door. “I just sent—” I couldn’t help but smile when I opened the door to find Ethan on the other side. “Amelia, I have to go.” I hung up, focusing my full attention on him as he stood before me in blue jeans and a form-fitting gray thermal shirt that showed off his huge, muscular arms. Judging by the sexy scruff on his face he must’ve skipped shaving today, and his bloodshot eyes led me to believe he was lacking some sleep.

“Good morning.” I smiled, trying to act is if everything was okay and I’d never brought up that name that caused him to shut down.

“Morning,” he replied.

I opened the door wider and he stepped inside.

“I was just taking down some wallpaper.” My eyes diverted to my beeping phone to find a text from Amelia.

Call me ASAP.

I laughed to myself, knowing she’d probably just gotten the picture of Ethan I’d sent and was more than likely drooling over it.

“I wanted to talk to you, if you have a minute.” His tone was flat and listless.

“Sure, come in the parlor. Please don’t mind the mess.”

I silenced my phone and threw it in my purse when Amelia’s name flashed across the screen with an incoming call. God, she was so impatient! After clearing a spot on the couch, we both took a seat. What’s up?” I asked.

“I’m sorry for acting like I did last night.”

“Ethan, forget it. It’s fine. I told you, I don’t need to know about your past. Let’s just concentrate on the present.”

“I know, and I appreciate that.” He cleared his throat and pushed away the piece of hair that was hanging in front of his eye. “But, that’s the problem, my past is like an anchor weighing me down. I can’t even imagine a future, and the only time I feel like I can function in the present is…when I’m with you.”

My eyes widened and my stomach tingled.

“I thought a lot about what you said last night...why?”

“Why what?”

“Why would you want to be friends with someone as fucked up as me? Someone who won’t open up to you about anything, when you give your heart so freely?”

“Because like I told you last night, you’re so different than anyone I’ve ever met, and I think right now, I need different in my life. I don’t want you to have to revisit your past if it hurts too badly, but I want you to see beyond it and know you deserve a future—a happy one.”

He stared straight ahead in silence, undoubtedly still unconvinced.

“Do you need some help taking that down?” In typical Ethan fashion, he snapped out of it and was now focusing on the wallpaper instead of the topic at hand.

“I’d love some help taking it down.”

We stood up and went to work, spraying down the walls, scraping, and peeling. Most of the morning was filled with silence, but I didn’t care. It wasn’t awkward. In fact, it was relaxing. I sensed that Ethan was alone in his mind, and I was hoping he was working through the inner turmoil that plagued him.

“Do you need a little break?” I asked, finally ending the long silence.

“No, I’m good.”

“My arm hurts.” I complained, expelling an exhausting breath.

“It’s actually kind of relaxing. It’s like stripping down a person’s personality and getting to see inside of them. Some pieces are easy to break down, where others you really need to scrape and work to peel away the different layers, and when you do, you might not like what’s underneath.”

I stared at him dumbfounded by his observation. “That was almost poetic.”

He stopped his scaping for a moment and stared at me before shrugging his shoulders and continuing.

“Kind of like you.”

Focusing his attention on me once again, he creased his eyebrows in confusion.

“You’re one of the pieces that need to be worked at to peel away.”

His eyes widened, and he swallowed hard.

“But what will I find underneath once that paper is gone and I’m able to see the real you?”

He didn’t reply. Instead, he stared at me a little while longer before going back to his scraping. I followed suit, knowing I’d probably unnerved him with my observation.

“Darrah was my wife,” he blurted out.

I put the scraper down and focused completely on him. I was cautious with my reply, wanting to know more, but afraid he’d back away and lose his nerve with answering. “What happened to her?” I gently inquired.

He stared up at the ceiling, clearly having an internal battle with himself whether he should answer. “She died.” His eyes were glazed with emotion when they finally met mine.

“I’m so sorry,” I whispered. The torment that shrouded his face was painful, and I was wishing there was something I could do to take it away. I moved closer and took his hand in mine, trying my best to comfort him. The silence that fell between us conveyed more than any words spoken. It was as if I’d heard him loud and clear without any verbal communication. Our hands remained connected and his tear-filled eyes stayed locked with mine.

“Miss Delaney.” The intense gaze we had upon each other broke at the sound of the voice in the doorway.

I cleared my throat and pulled it together, trying my best to form a coherent sentence to the carpenter who was staring at us questioningly.

“I’m sorry...the door was open. I-I—”

“It’s fine. What’s up?” I forced a smile.

“I was in the area and thought I’d go over the estimate in detail with you instead of just emailing it.”

“Oh, yeah...great. Ethan, would you mind looking it over as well?” I asked, turning my attention back to him.

“Umm...yeah, no problem,” he replied, seeming like he was still recovering from our “moment.”

“I’m Doug Reynolds, by the way,” he introduced himself to Ethan and extended his hand. He took out his papers and began to go over each room in detail. “Now like I said, the floors in here are—” He stopped mid-sentence, just noticing Ethan’s work for the first time since he’d entered. “You had them done already?”

“Actually, Ethan did them for me.”

“It’s the original flooring. It just needed to be sanded down,” Ethan chimed it.

Doug bent down to get a closer look. “It came out beautiful. I would’ve sworn it needed to be stained.”

“Not at all,” Ethan replied.

“Well, that’s a big expense we can check off,” Doug said, standing back up.

“You can check off the ceilings too. I’ll do that for her as well,” Ethan added, taking me by surprise.

“Well, we were going to keep the popcorn ceiling as is,” Doug said.

“I believe Jenna said she wanted tin ceilings.” Ethan was smug in his reply.

“Yes, but as I explained to her, that wouldn’t be possible because—”

“It’s possible.”

He glared at Ethan, but he wasn’t backing down.

“And as far at the flooring in the dining room and hallway, I could do those for her as well.”

“Ethan, you don’t—” I started, but he cut me off.

“So that should leave everything else that she wants done well within her budget.”

Doug scratched his head, seeming a little taken aback by Ethan’s take-charge attitude. “Yeah, I suppose it does. I guess I’ll take off everything we discussed and give you a new price. I can start next week if that’s good with you.”

“Umm...yeah, sure.” I was still lost in Ethan’s generous offer to help me out.

“Okay, I’ll see you then. And, it was nice meeting you.” Doug extended his hand to Ethan, but I sensed a little animosity over having some business taken away from him.

“Ethan, if you’re going to do all this work for me, I insist on paying you.”

“Jenna, stop. You’re not paying me. I want to do it. It helps me clear my head.”

I was still feeling a little uncomfortable over taking him up on his offer.

“Ethan, I just feel like I should be paying for all your work.”

“I don’t need the money.”

What the hell did he do for a living that he could be away from his job for this long and still afford that expensive car and all his other bills. “Are you ever going to tell me what you do for a living?”

“You can pay me with your cooking.” He avoided the question completely, making me a little leery of why he was so hesitant to answer it. Was he some mafia hit man or something?

“Sounds like a plan.” I smiled, erasing that thought from my mind as the mystery that surrounded him grew, and I became more drawn to it with each passing second.

“I need to take this.” Ethan excused himself and walked outside to answer an incoming call. I used the time to quickly call Amelia back and find out what the big emergency was.

“Jenna, holy shit! It’s about time!” she answered.

“What’s the matter?” I asked.

“What’s the matter? I think I should be asking you that same question.”

“Amelia, I have no clue what you’re talking about.” My frustration was apparent, wishing she’d just get to the point.

“You seriously have no clue who your mystery man is?”

“Umm…as far as I know his name is Ethan. Oh God, please don’t tell me he’s a wanted fugitive or something.”

“Jen…he’s Jonathan Reed, one of the greatest authors of our time. How on earth could you have been in the publishing business for so long and not know this?”

“Wait…you can’t be—” I looked out the window as Ethan paced back and forth on the front porch with his phone glued to his ear. Amelia was right. How did I not pick up on that? But then again, I normally didn’t focus on what each author looked like. I just became infatuated with their words, but Jonathan Reed was a huge name in the publishing industry. That would explain the nice car, the expensive bag, and his nonchalant attitude about money. If he never published another book again, this guy would still be set for life. “Wow,” I whispered into the phone.

“Wow is right. My best friend is going to have a rebound with the hottest writer around.”

“Amelia, I’m not going to rebound with him!”

“Why not? Maybe it will do you both some good. You know, he’s dropped off the radar in the last year. His publisher has been very tight-lipped about it. In fact, everything about him has been mum. He somehow managed to keep his private life very private, even when he was in the spotlight. All I know is he was at the top of his game and then just disappeared. He didn’t even show up for the movie premiere of The Dawn. You know most authors live to be part of the film adaptation of their books.”

“Well, maybe he’s not like most authors, Amelia.” I realized my tone was a little sharper than she deserved.

“Look at you, rushing to his defense already.”

“I’m not rushing to his defense, but maybe he has a good reason for lying low.” I was not about to tell her what Ethan had shared with me. She may have been my best friend, but I’d never break Ethan’s trust after sharing something so personal with me.

We hung up and I gazed out the window at him once again, feeling an even deeper connection between us. The rest of the world knew the man behind the pen name. How privileged was I to know the real man instead? Ethan Banks would always be more alluring to me than Jonathan Reed could ever be, and I was honored that he was allowing me to peel back those layers of his personality and get to know the real him instead of the faux persona he portrayed to everyone else.