Chapter 14
Ethan
I HUNG UP THE PHONE WITH Edward, still too pissed to go back inside and act like everything was fine. I’d sold my soul to the devil the day I signed that publishing deal. How dare they dictate to me what functions I would or would not attend? They didn’t own me like they thought they did. As far as I was concerned that part of my life didn’t exist, regardless if Edward said I had a legal obligation to them or not. They could go fuck themselves. Once I was composed enough, I walked back inside to find Jenna staring into space, deep in thought.
“Everything okay?”
She jumped at the sound of my voice. “Oh, yeah, everything’s fine.” She forced a smile and gazed at me questioningly.
“Did you want to take a ride to the hardware store and get an idea of what you want for the ceiling?”
She paused a moment, staring at me once again like we were strangers, meeting for the very first time. “That sounds good.” She finally snapped out of it.
“Are you okay?”
“Yeah.” She shook her head. “I just got some news that was a little…surprising. Ready?” she asked as she grabbed her purse.
I held out my hand, allowing her to walk in front of me, wondering what kind of news she could have received in that short amount of time that caused the shift in personality.
***
“You may be the most indecisive person I know.” I shook my head at Jenna after losing count of how many different ceiling tiles she’d chosen then put back.
“I know, I’m so sorry. It’s a horrible trait of mine. I seriously think this is the one.” She picked up her original choice and looked it over. “Yup, this is it!” She smiled in triumph over her ability to make a choice.
“Unless, you think this one is—”
“Nope, I told you from the beginning the one in your hand is my favorite.”
“Okay, then the decision is made. This is the one.” She hurried up and ordered it before she could change her mind. “I think that was a really good choice,” she remarked as we walked to the car.
“Yup, it was.”
“Can I take you out to lunch?”
“Jenna, you don’t have—”
“Please. I want to. That’s the least I can do after everything you’re doing to help me out.”
“I told you, I like doing this stuff, and it’s been way too long since I’ve allowed myself to do it.”
“I happen to know you have much better things you could be doing with your time than helping some stupid, in-over-her-head, irresolute girl with home improvement projects.” Her smile faded and she bit her lip when she saw the look of confusion on my face.
“If I had better things to do, I wouldn’t be doing this. Trust me, I don’t do anything I don’t want to do.”
“Okay,” she whispered. “And neither do I. And I really want to treat you to lunch, so will you please allow it?”
I nodded in agreement.
Thank you, she mouthed and smiled just as we were getting in the car.
We sat outside at the bayfront restaurant, taking advantage of the beautiful afternoon. Once we were finished, we took a walk along the bay. We strolled in silence for a while, stopping every now and then so Jenna could collect seashells that had washed up along the beach.
“So, did you grow up in New York?” Jenna asked.
“I did.”
She nodded and bent down to pick up another shell. “How did you meet your wife?”
I stilled for a moment.
“I’m sorry if you don’t want to—”
“Through a mutual acquaintance.” I wasn’t lying. Darrah was a mutual acquaintance of my agent. I’d met her at a party he was hosting when I was just a nobody. She caught my eye the moment I laid eyes on her, and even though I never saw myself as a one-woman man, I knew she was the one person who could change that. We dated for a year before getting married and six months later my first novel shot to number one on the New York Times bestseller list.
Initially, Darrah was okay with the fame that came along with my writing. She enjoyed the parties, the notoriety, and the wealth. But soon that wore thin on her. Once Nolan was born, she changed. Her moods would shift like the wind. She’d be as calm as could be one minute and the next she’d be flying off the handle over nothing, bordering on downright violent at times. She got tired of my research projects and the book signings that would take me away from her and Nolan for sometimes weeks at a time. She developed major trust issues and was constantly accusing me of sleeping around. The time we’d spend together was anything but quality. She’d constantly be on my case about never being around to help out. She was always questioning my feelings for her by letting me know how selfish I was for not being there for her emotionally. Looking back now, maybe that was all true. I let my fame and money define me. But there was never any doubt that I loved her and even less doubt that my son was the most important thing in the world to me.
Toward the end was when things started getting really bad. We were drifting farther and farther away while my success continued to grow. Her moods were becoming more unhinged to the point that I was afraid for Nolan to be with her alone. The more she accused me of doing something I wasn’t doing, the more she was pushing me into doing those things with the other women I had falling at my feet. Was I the perfect husband? Not by any means. But regardless of my differences with Darrah, I was a good dad who loved my little boy with all my heart. If I had known what I know now, I would have changed so much with the way I handled things.
“How long were you married?” Jenna was gentle with her inquiry.
“Four years.” I wanted to give her more than the vague replies I was spewing. I wanted to tell her everything and break those chains that had been holding me captive, but it was killing me inside just to muster the strength to come up with my one-word answers.
We stopped walking and she stared up at me with the most beautiful smile stretching across her face.
“I do believe I just peeled that very first layer away.”
I looked out at the water, not wanting to acknowledge that maybe she was right. She took me off guard when she reached up and placed her hand on my cheek, and turned my head to look at her.
“It wasn’t so bad after all, was it?”
“Jenna, you have no idea what’s hidden underneath.”
“I’m not afraid to find out, and I promise I’ll wait for however long it takes to get there...no pressure. We’ll take everything at your pace, Ethan Banks.”
I closed my eyes and breathed in the cool, salty air, wondering if the woman standing beside me was just a figment of my imagination. Was she a cruel joke my mind was playing on me, only to be taken from me without warning? I wasn’t sure what fate had in store for us, but for the here and now, I was going to be thankful for every second I had with her. She cleared my head of the ghosts that haunted me. She helped me breathe when I didn’t think I had any breath left in me, and she was cracking the seal on my heart—a heart that stopped beating a year ago, but with each passing day Jenna made that rhythm return ever so slightly.